Is not being ticklish a deal breaker? (or for 'lees: someone who doesn't tickle...)

[Wolf]

Sadly yeah, it's definitely a deal-breaker for me.

Nothing sad about that. Being honest with yourself means you can avoid a lot of bitterness and hurt feelings in the future.

 

[maniactickler]

Big time deal breaker!

 

[Deleted member 2452]

not ticklish? won't tickle? there wouldn't be second date!

steve

 

[The Internet]

not ticklish? won't tickle? there wouldn't be second date!

steve

Yeah, I'm with Steve and Maniac. It wouldn't even get that far, where I'd be falling in love, only to discover the awful truth......before I'd fall in love with her, I'd have already tickled her.....in fact, that's probably what would up it from extreme like to the beginnings of love.

I used to work as a supervisor in a clothing store.....we were all young and flirty.....one time, I was walking in the back area where a girl was putting security tags on the clothes. As I passed her, I poked her on the side and she squirmed away, giggling. I said something like "sorry" and she said, "oh no, I liked it!".

Bing!!!!

Now all of a sudden, I have a crush. Within a week, she was my girlfriend. It didn't last for long, but just the fact that she was ticklish, and also of course, her great reaction, that made her extremely desirable. And it got even moreso, when she confessed (moments later!) that an old boyfriend had tied her up and tickled her!!!

Anyways, being ticklish doesn't make the relationship, as I found out. But there wouldn't have been any relationship in the first place, had she not squirmed away, giggling, and telling me she liked it.

 

[primetime]

This is a tricky question for me. As much as I love a ticklish woman, but if she is not ticklish then you have to decide if she is still a wonderful human being and you want to be with her. Think about it. BILLIONS of women are ticklish, but not all women are good romantic matchups for you. It is harder to find a good woman than a ticklish one. So do you sacrifice that opportunity? Yeah, it is tricky.

You can also run into that situation where the girl/guy is very ticklish, but will absolutely hate you if you tickle her/him. So what is worst? A non ticklish significant other, or a hyper ticklish one that won't let you do it. With a non ticklish one, she/he will let you try at least. lol

For me, I love to give massages too (amazing how you can get away with tickles doing that stuff...) and if I can still do that, then I will be ok. It really just depends so I can't say it is a deal breaker.

 

[likeasong]

As a straight male 'ler, I don't think I could afford to let it be a deal breaker. We're easily replaceable for a guy who can live without ever tickling her. My experience with girlfriends is that when I eventually do bring it up, they're eventually okay with it. "Eventually" being the key word. They bristle and balk and get uncomfortable the first time I bring it up, and I have to worry that I'm about to be dropped.

 

[Wolf]

As a straight male 'ler, I don't think I could afford to let it be a deal breaker. We're easily replaceable for a guy who can live without ever tickling her. My experience with girlfriends is that when I eventually do bring it up, they're eventually okay with it. "Eventually" being the key word. They bristle and balk and get uncomfortable the first time I bring it up, and I have to worry that I'm about to be dropped.

Sure, that's a risk you take any time you're honest about what you want sexually; but it's so much better than keeping it a secret. Most problems in relationships come from people trying to hide what they want.

 

[likeasong]

Sure, that's a risk you take any time you're honest about what you want sexually; but it's so much better than keeping it a secret. Most problems in relationships come from people trying to hide what they want.

Right, but this isn't about difficulties in telling a partner, it's about whether it's a deal breaker for us. I couldn't afford to let it be, because there aren't enough straight f lees for us to let it be one. Quite honestly, it's much easier for "being into tickling" to be a deal breaker for HER than for "not being into tickling" to be one for me.

 

[marcusb]

Yes. I've tried several times to not let it get in the way... but... ultimately, it is.

 

[DarthGrinn]

A lack of ticklishness, or the desire to be tickled isn't really a deal breaker for me. I have dated a non-ticklish woman, and it was great. I've also had a great relationship with an extremely ticklish woman, who couldn't tolerate being tickled beyond a few light pokes here and there. Both were beautiful relationships that I wouldn't have changed for anything.

Having said that, I will admit that dating a woman who is ticklish, and genuinely enjoys having the living daylights tickled out of her, is the best thing in the world. But it's like this awesome cherry that sits on top of this already super delicious cake. Take the cherry away, and I can still fully enjoy the cake.

 

[Wolf]

Right, but this isn't about difficulties in telling a partner, it's about whether it's a deal breaker for us. I couldn't afford to let it be, because there aren't enough straight f lees for us to let it be one. Quite honestly, it's much easier for "being into tickling" to be a deal breaker for HER than for "not being into tickling" to be one for me.

Interesting. In my experience, the reverse has been true. Being into tickling was never a deal breaker for any girl I dated (or married, for that matter); but I've been out of the dating pool for some time, so I can't speak to there being a dearth of female 'lees these days. But I still know more than a few single women who don't have a problem with it at all.

 

[mb7700]

I wouldn't call it a dealbreaker if a woman that I am attracted to is not ticklish, but it will make her less attractive to me for sure.

 

[BBGuy5240]

Not for me.

I dated a girl who wasn't very ticklish at all, but that worked in favor of my Bellybutton & Foot Fetish. Since she wasn't Ticklish, I was able to have fun with her Bellybutton & Feet without her pushing away at any point. And that was nice.

 

[TickleTexGirl]

So I have been dating this guy off and one for 18 months. Great intellectual connection which matters to me, but sexually he's a bore. We were together yesterday for hours, and we sat close with my head on his shoulder cuddling. Several times I ran my fingers up his side with 0 reaction? I'm a good LER and a willing LEE, but this guy is stone. At that point, I usually kneel and begin to tease his winky and play with his toes. While he loves the oral stimulation ( I love pleasuring too) touching his feet at the same time gets 0 reaction. Most guys I have been intimate with since college have reacted to tickle sex with an instant O, or at least some hot moans. But not to be. He seldom tickles me in bed either, and I guess I need to accept he's vanilla, and that's that. A few times he has tickled my feet in bed, but he misses the hot spot, or stops too soon. In contrast, an older guy I was dating last winter proposed marriage (3rd date) after I tickled him during oral. He treated me like a princess and tickling as I sucked him aroused the F**K out of me too. Awesome and fun sex... and I broke it off because he wanted me to move. Maybe this sphinx I am sleeping with now, and not for long, is the price I am paying?

My older friend, who I did not marry, still calls and texts. He is obsessed with our former sex life, and now wants to move to Austin rather than have me move for him. Hot tickler, fun lee, sexy Ferrari, generous and appreciative... I dream of him too. Something incredibly hot about having a guy ejaculate during a bj, just after you begin to tickle his toes. Then he recovers instantly and is able to make me scream with passion. So yes, it matters to me... a lot.


Giggles, TTG

 

[Jffshmt1]

In my opinion, definitely a deal breaker. I had a girlfriend who was only mildly ticklish and that was tough enough. There was this girl i fancied and she claimed to not be ticklish at all. Of course i took that as an invitation to try. And when i embarrassingly failed, i realized that was the end of my affections

 

[chicago]

Definite deal breaker.

 

[jujimbo]

The moment I learn she's not ticklish I try to not get emotionally attached to her and focus on the next. Deal breaker for sure. When I get to romancing a woman, I probably have tested her out in one way of another.

I do have other turn-ons we could work on otherwise though, but tickling is my strongest one. Maybe if I like her enough it wouldn't be. It would bum me out for sure.

 

[toe_geh]

Lately, I'm starting to realize my foot fetish is more powerful than my tickling fetish. I can deal with a girl who isn't ticklish if she has high arched feet. If she had high arches and ticklish, I'd put a ring on it pretty quick.

 

[Fisto]

I'm attracted to women with somewhat kinky attitude and who appreciate experimental and adventurous way of life. Well, at least to some degree. If in some mysterious way such person would not wanna explore tickling in our relationship, but she is up for anything else, then I would try to understand why is that and would try to work things out. With such person I really believe you can work things out once trust is formed in relationship. I would gently build that kind of tickling relationship with her if she had some special problem with tickling.

It is not really important to me is she ticklish or not, but I'd definitely prefer ticklish person. More important to me is for her to tickle me, so I can't really imagine what kind of hate toward tickling must she have to not be willing to be at least in tickler role. She is kinky and experimental (otherwise I wouldn't be attracted to her!) and she doesn't wanna tickle me?! I won't tie her down and tickle her if she doesn't want me to, I do imagine being a lee is more stressful for other person. I didn't tie down my first girlfriend cause she was very uncomfortable with it. Fine, I held her down and tickled her, works for me.

One way or another, she would know how I feel about tickling and how important it is to me and we would together come to a solution, even if it means breaking up. I have no idea could that actually happen, but I assume so. "No tickling" to me is quite comparable to "no sex", and there are way too many fishes in the sea to spend my time with the one that can't make my fantasies come true. It is not like I ask for much, just "hey, let's have playful tickling sometime!" Her and me can become good friends, for that we might have decent background.

 

[kcantankerous]

Hello,

I dated a lady once who was very ticklish and had nice feet. The rub was that both were phobias for her. We dated exclusively for about a year. What I learned is that my partner needs to be at least slightly ticklish. Twitching feet and a bit of giggling is just fine with me. My fetish is a huge part of me, especially in sexual situations. I am a soft and playful tickler, so even extremely ticklish women can usually take it for awhile.

In short, my partner must have nice feet, must be slightly ticklish, and can't have phobias of either.

Thanks,

K

 

[magic fingers]

So I have been dating this guy off and one for 18 months. Great intellectual connection which matters to me, but sexually he's a bore. We were together yesterday for hours, and we sat close with my head on his shoulder cuddling. Several times I ran my fingers up his side with 0 reaction? I'm a good LER and a willing LEE, but this guy is stone. At that point, I usually kneel and begin to tease his winky and play with his toes. While he loves the oral stimulation ( I love pleasuring too) touching his feet at the same time gets 0 reaction. Most guys I have been intimate with since college have reacted to tickle sex with an instant O, or at least some hot moans. But not to be. He seldom tickles me in bed either, and I guess I need to accept he's vanilla, and that's that. A few times he has tickled my feet in bed, but he misses the hot spot, or stops too soon. In contrast, an older guy I was dating last winter proposed marriage (3rd date) after I tickled him during oral. He treated me like a princess and tickling as I sucked him aroused the F**K out of me too. Awesome and fun sex... and I broke it off because he wanted me to move. Maybe this sphinx I am sleeping with now, and not for long, is the price I am paying?

My older friend, who I did not marry, still calls and texts. He is obsessed with our former sex life, and now wants to move to Austin rather than have me move for him. Hot tickler, fun lee, sexy Ferrari, generous and appreciative... I dream of him too. Something incredibly hot about having a guy ejaculate during a bj, just after you begin to tickle his toes. Then he recovers instantly and is able to make me scream with passion. So yes, it matters to me... a lot.


Giggles, TTG

I don't know. IMHO you might want to reconsider the older guy. He sounds much more sexuaĺly compatible with you than the vanilla you're currently dating

 

[matt62]

There are people who are not ticklish, and there are people who are ticklish but who, for one reason or another, cannot or will not engage in tickling play.

Thinking about the original question, I have come to the conclusion that I need to know that my partner is ticklish more than I need her actually to let me tickle her.

Maybe that means I don't have the tickle fetish as strongly as some people. It's a bit of a strain having to hold back on the tickling, but if I know she's ticklish, and she is attractive to me in other ways, I still count myself a lucky man.

I find that the kind of person who is very ticklish is attractive to me, not only for that reason but because they tend to be the kind of person who has other assets and personality traits that I find hot as well. And non-ticklish people tend to be unattractive to me in other ways too - the wrong kind of personality generally.

It's a bit like the issue of musicality. Music is important to me and I am only attracted to people who can sing in tune reasonably well...It's a "deal-breaker", the same as ticklishness!

 

[P[a]pi]

A girl not being ticklish anywhere at all would be a deal breaker as far as marriage goes, but not for friends with benefits sessions.

 

[TickVix]

DEFINITELY A DEAL BREAKER! Especially at this point in my life. I dated guys in the past who didn't really get it, though they tried and failed miserably. So after going through all that i honestly don't think I could go vanilla anymore. It's not who i am and I'm a firm believer that people should be with those who understand them on all levels, otherwise it really be comes a waste of time and your life. My advice to everyone is to find someone that truly gets and accepts you from the inside out.

 

[kcantankerous]

DEFINITELY A DEAL BREAKER! Especially at this point in my life. I dated guys in the past who didn't really get it, though they tried and failed miserably. So after going through all that i honestly don't think I could go vanilla anymore. It's not who i am and I'm a firm believer that people should be with those who understand them on all levels, otherwise it really be comes a waste of time and your life. My advice to everyone is to find someone that truly gets and accepts you from the inside out.

Hello,

Makes sense.

Thanks,

K