Is tickling a mild form of BDSM

[GQguy]

Is tickling a mild form of BDSM?

From wikipedia:
BDSM is a type of roleplay or lifestyle choice between two or more individuals who use their experiences of pain and power to create sexual tension, pleasure, and release.

For some the answer is a simple yes! For others the answer is no! How do you view it?

I think it is a form of BDSM. Some would say that tickling isn't pain...but i'd argue that point. A good 90% of women i've dated like to be rough handled in the bedroom. They like to be spanked(some more than others) and experience other power plays as part of the build up to their climax. However 100% of the women i've dated would say that tickling was too much after a minute or two. Tickling is more painful to them than spanking!

I get that BDSM is more than just a few spanks or tickles in the bedroom but the unequal powerplay is still evident.

So what do you guys think?

GQ

 

[Morning Lorie]

Tickling is not BDSM. Spanking is not BDSM. Though both can be used in BDSM they most often occur completely outside of a BDSM context.

 

[GQguy]

Tickling is not BDSM. Spanking is not BDSM. Though both can be used in BDSM they most often occur completely outside of a BDSM context.

According to the definition, how is that sort of roleplay not BDSM? I understand that a spank/tickle here and there is VERY mild compared to collar/leather slave/master couples...but it is on the same continuum. The natural reaction to a spanking is for one to get out of the way. But with the power play she gives up her power to resist in order to create sexual tension between us whch results in sexual pleasure for both.

 

[TickleToy4You]

I don't think it's a form of it, since BDSM is in most cases extreme, and always has to do with sexual acts. Tickling doesn't always have to be that way. You see tickling vids of girls/guys fully clothed, so I wouldn't say it's a form of BDSM although you could always add bondage to the tickling session.

 

[Morning Lorie]

According to the definition, how is that sort of roleplay not BDSM? I understand that a spank/tickle here and there is VERY mild compared to collar/leather slave/master couples...but it is on the same continuum. The natural reaction to a spanking is for one to get out of the way. But with the power play she gives up her power to resist in order to create sexual tension between us whch results in sexual pleasure for both.

The same continuum? Um...I think you've been watching too much Star Trek there, Commander. Not all tickling or spanking takes place for the purpose of power exchange (whatever that's supposed to mean) or sexual tension. When I was spanked as a child, I'm pretty sure that was the last thing on Mom's mind.

Even sexual tickling isn't necessarily BDSM. I never had a boyfriend who didn't get...um...visibly excited when I tickled him in those special places.

 

[prestidigits]

Absolutely it is a MILD form of BDSM.

 

[Libertine]

I don't think it's a form of it, since BDSM is in most cases extreme, and always has to do with sexual acts. Tickling doesn't always have to be that way. You see tickling vids of girls/guys fully clothed, so I wouldn't say it's a form of BDSM although you could always add bondage to the tickling session.

I must disagree, m'dear. Spanking and tickling can both be used in BDSM, depending on the circumstances and the intensity. BDSM often has nothing whatsoever to do with intercourse in any form, and can range from mild public headgames which are unnoticed by anyone but the participants, to full-on extreme play. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Both tickling and spanking fit into any of those terms very nicely, with the middle two, Dominance and Submission, allowing the subtlest application.

 

[GQguy]

The same continuum? Um...I think you've been watching too much Star Trek there, Commander. Not all tickling or spanking takes place for the purpose of power exchange (whatever that's supposed to mean) or sexual tension. When I was spanked as a child, I'm pretty sure that was the last thing on Mom's mind.

Even sexual tickling isn't necessarily BDSM. I never had a boyfriend who didn't get...um...visibly excited when I tickled him in those special places.

Commander? How did you know? You looked at my pics huh? Sir is what people usually call me, although commander is my title. Star Trek....no...USAF officer. My goal is to get my astronaut wings in the next ten years though. So I guess i'm the closest thing here! But you can call me GQ.

I digress.......


read up:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

Anyway power exchange would be one person giving up their power to another. A tickle fight is not a power exchange. Allowing someone to tie you up and tickle you or spank you is. Especially since in our culture men and women have equal status. Side note: it's interesting that you won't find BDSM so much in cultures where men and women have unequal status. The key is "submit" for the purpose of sex, pain and power....at least that's what I got from the definition. Kids don't submit to spankings from their parents and the most definitely don't do it for sexual pleasure. The sexual tickling you speak of with your boyfriend....does it involve pain? A power differential? Does he submit? Is it for your mutual enjoyment? If all of those are yes then by definition it is BDSM.



GQguy

continuum (kənˈtɪnjʊəm)

— n , pl -tinua , -tinuums
a continuous series or whole, no part of which is perceptibly different from the adjacent parts

 

[c7_assassin]

I agree with Libertine, in fact I've written an academic paper on the subject if anyone cares to waste a few minutes... http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=176590 I think I refer to it as 'BDSM-lite.'

I suppose it's not necessarily BDSM, just like spanking is not necessarily BDSM when it happens during childhood...but when it's a sexual fetish, it's absolutely in the same spectrum as other BDSM activities.

 

[BlackestLily]

I believe it is, and in my opinion can even be heavy if the receiver hates in. Kink.com is beginning to do a lot more videos that incorporate tickling, but not as an enjoyment like we think it is. A lot of girls who choose to do videos with them actually dislike/ hate it and so it's a form of torture for them at varying levels. They much prefer actually being whipped over tickling. So perhaps the lightness/heaviness aspect is subjective. 🙂

 

[labgirl73]

It's part of it..........part of mine anyway. A regular part at that.

 

[tkl-pen]

Tickling can be a part of bdsm. It is not painful but it can be torture and agony. I happen to like intense tickling of a girl in tight bondage - that's bdsm!

 

[BMoreTklr]

I gotta say it can fall into this category. Not all situations at all times, but depending on the nature of the interaction, it most definitely can fall under umbrella of BDSM.

 

[LD_Tickler]

It seems a couple of people made the point that tickling isn't BDSM because most tickling is just regular, platonic, goofing off.

Well duh, you think? That an activity has other contexts doesn't mean it doesn't have this one.

In the same way that spanking, a disciplinary act between parent and child is (as in, "can be") a BDSM activity, tickling is as well. Bondage Discipline/Domination, SadoMasochism. Tickle torture fits the bill.

 

[Driver Ed]

That's well and good, but the question was not "Does tickling have BDSM potential along with it's normal vanilla context?"

The question was "Is tickling a mild form of BDSM?"

I think all are in agreement that tickling can be incorporated into a BDSM scenario, but the act itself is not associated with BDSM in it's most common occurrences.

Hence, tickling is NOT a mild form of BDSM.

 

[rhiannon]

It depends on how the tickling is used - it definitely CAN be a mild form of BDSM.

 

[Icycle]

That's well and good, but the question was not "Does tickling have BDSM potential along with it's normal vanilla context?"

The question was "Is tickling a mild form of BDSM?"

I think all are in agreement that tickling can be incorporated into a BDSM scenario, but the act itself is not associated with BDSM in it's most common occurrences.

Hence, tickling is NOT a mild form of BDSM.

I suppose then tickling is not BDSM in the same way that spanking is not BDSM. A parent spanking his or child is not participating in BDSM, nor a parent tickling his infant. And I suspect that these are some of the most common occurrences of these activities, where there are no sexual or erotic intentions whatsover.

However, if the ads, pictures, stories, and clips posted and viewed on this site are any indication, for most people here on the TMF, tickling has strong sexual and/or erotic connection, and very often includes bondage (or other forms of restraint), and very obvious themes of domination and submission.

Ever have an erotic tickle fight where you wrestle your lee to the ground, pin her with your arm and legs, and then tickle her mercilessly? BDSM.

Do you ever get that sadistic gleam in your eye, know just how much you can make your lee squirm, scream, and laugh? BDSM.

 

[C.A.B.]

Is ice Cream nutrition?

 

[TMJ Productions]

I've talked with a few traveling BDSM artists who have only one hard limit:
Tickling 🙂

And CAB, it depends on what type of ice cream
Vanilla is def a light form of chocolate 🙂

 

[LD_Tickler]

That's well and good, but the question was not "Does tickling have BDSM potential along with it's normal vanilla context?"

The question was "Is tickling a mild form of BDSM?"

I think all are in agreement that tickling can be incorporated into a BDSM scenario, but the act itself is not associated with BDSM in it's most common occurrences.

Hence, tickling is NOT a mild form of BDSM.

Right, but given how completely obvious that is, I think we can safely assume that the discussion OP meant to spark was in fact "Does tickling have BDSM potential along with it's normal vanilla context," and not bother splitting hairs.

 

[Morning Lorie]

Commander? How did you know? You looked at my pics huh? Sir is what people usually call me, although commander is my title. Star Trek....no...USAF officer. My goal is to get my astronaut wings in the next ten years though. So I guess i'm the closest thing here! But you can call me GQ.

No thanks. And no, I have no interest in you or your pics. You asked a question. I answered. Try not to read too much into that.

Anyway power exchange would be one person giving up their power to another. A tickle fight is not a power exchange. Allowing someone to tie you up and tickle you or spank you is. Especially since in our culture men and women have equal status.

See, this is what I find annoying about the whole kink scene. You guys so over think and over dramatize. Can't two people just fool around without some pseudo intellectual blathering his psycho babble about control and power? Why's it so important for you to make this point and argue with anybody who doesn't buy it?

The sexual tickling you speak of with your boyfriend....does it involve pain? A power differential? Does he submit? Is it for your mutual enjoyment? If all of those are yes then by definition it is BDSM.

No tickling of mine involves pain or power. He doesn't submit. He laughs and squirms and tells me to quit it. Eventually I do.

It's a playful and sexy kind of foreplay. It's not BDSM by any stretch.

 

[rhiannon]

No tickling of mine involves pain or power.

Maybe not yours. Tickling of other people might! Not pain, but power is definitely a part of the kind of tickling I practice. And definitely going to the limits.

 

[GQguy]

Quote:
Originally Posted by GQguy
Commander? How did you know? You looked at my pics huh? Sir is what people usually call me, although commander is my title. Star Trek....no...USAF officer. My goal is to get my astronaut wings in the next ten years though. So I guess i'm the closest thing here! But you can call me GQ.

No thanks. And no, I have no interest in you or your pics. You asked a question. I answered. Try not to read too much into that.

Simply responding to what I thought you saw was a personal attack. I'm a very respectful guy, so I expect nothing less from those I encouter. Even if it is on the net.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GQguy
Anyway power exchange would be one person giving up their power to another. A tickle fight is not a power exchange. Allowing someone to tie you up and tickle you or spank you is. Especially since in our culture men and women have equal status.

See, this is what I find annoying about the whole kink scene. You guys so over think and over dramatize. Can't two people just fool around without some pseudo intellectual blathering his psycho babble about control and power? Why's it so important for you to make this point and argue with anybody who doesn't buy it?

It's called a discussion. It helps all of us understand our world better. That's why we're all here right? As for pseudo intellectual blathering his babble about control and power....again....another attack. Sigh...but you know nothing about me. Psuedo intellectual....no. I am an intellectual. Degree in Physics(photonics) from U Pittsburgh. Degree in Electronics engineering Arizona State. Nothing psuedo about that. Psychology is far from my area of expertise, save for management/leadership psych and motivations but that's not what we're talking about. Therefore i'll pose questions to broaden my knowledge along with everyone elses. Forgive us "kinks" for being curious about our world.

GQ

 

[Adam]

I must disagree, m'dear. Spanking and tickling can both be used in BDSM, depending on the circumstances and the intensity. BDSM often has nothing whatsoever to do with intercourse in any form, and can range from mild public headgames which are unnoticed by anyone but the participants, to full-on extreme play. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Both tickling and spanking fit into any of those terms very nicely, with the middle two, Dominance and Submission, allowing the subtlest application.

I completely agree with this. Besides, BDSM is at least, in part, about pushing limits. If you're being tickled or having your rear swatted for a prolonged period of time, pushing a limit is exactly what you're doing.

 

[Driver Ed]

I suppose then tickling is not BDSM in the same way that spanking is not BDSM. A parent spanking his or child is not participating in BDSM, nor a parent tickling his infant. And I suspect that these are some of the most common occurrences of these activities, where there are no sexual or erotic intentions whatsover.

I rest my case.

However, if the ads, pictures, stories, and clips posted and viewed on this site are any indication, for most people here on the TMF, tickling has strong sexual and/or erotic connection, and very often includes bondage (or other forms of restraint), and very obvious themes of domination and submission.

Exactly, which is why sometimes people here need to be reminded that tickling is not something that's always a matter of racks, restraints and tools. It's an activity that occurs by and large between vanilla people who make no sexual connection to it. If we TMFers could somehow remember that, we're not likely to ask questions like "Is tickling a mild form of BDSM?"

Right, but given how completely obvious that is, I think we can safely assume that the discussion OP meant to spark was in fact "Does tickling have BDSM potential along with it's normal vanilla context," and not bother splitting hairs.

Hey come on. I'm as intuitive as the next guy, but is it really too much to expect for somebody to ask the question they mean to ask rather than leave us guessing what he really meant to ask??