Really.
So how come I already felt sexual excitement when I saw someone getting tickled before I even knew what sex was?
The association of which I spoke is not somebody saying, "Hmmm, I've decided that from this point forward I'm going to associate tickling with sex." It's an unconscious association. The brain does a lot of stuff we're not even aware of. These associations are the result of our earliest childhood experiences. We forget the experiences but the associations remain, and so for as far back as we can remember, we've liked tickling, or being tickled. A lot.
I also don't get how this is relevant to the cheating question; it doesn't matter where the sexual excitement comes from as long as you're feeling it and as long as you're doing a certain activity, be it tickling or licking off shoes, to feel that sexual excitement.
It starts to matter when people start equating tickling with sex. For example, a hand job is a sexual activity. The activity itself is sexual. You never have a situation in which it is not sexual. The sexuality of it is inherent in the activity itself. By it's very nature, the activity is sexual.
Tickling on the other hand is not a sexual activity except in instances in which erogenous zones are targeted. 99+ % of tickling occurrences are not sexual, nor is any sexual stigma applied to them. Even in the extremely rare cases where people are aroused by nonsexual tickling, it's only because of the associations in their mind I spoke of earlier.
This is relevant to the question of cheating because by establishing that the sexuality comes from in somebody's head and not from the activity itself, I can totally blow away the notion that tickling is a sexual activity, which is pretty much the cornerstone in most of the arguments that say tickling is cheating.
The circumstance we are talking about though is a tickling session set up without the SO knowing....in order to feel sexual excitement.
WTF?! "Sexual excitement??" Really? Rhiannon, take a close look here at the Opening Post:
Not sure if this as been talked about much here but if you find and arrange tickle sessions with someone
other than your spouse or partner and them not knowing are you cheating?
If you have done this did you have any guilt feelings about it?
Notice the glaring lack of any mention of sexual excitement as a goal, or even at all. Did you really think that nobody would notice that you just threw your own embellishment in there??
I seriously don't see how that could possibly not be cheating.
Sure, when you take the simple act of tickling and dress it up with bondage, gags, and hotel rooms, then yeah. When I talk about tickling, I don't automatically assume those things. I set up impromptu tickling sessions at work from time to time. No bondage, no gags, no hotels, and no nudity. Just a conference room, office or a break room. I've currently got two tickle buddies at the office and working on a third.
Being honest with themselves would mean stop kidding yourself and face the fact that your SO might not look at it as a harmless totally non-sexual thing.
I disagree. Being honest with themselves would mean stop kidding yourself and quit pretending that tickling is sex and therefore qualifies as cheating.
Set up sessions with someone gagged and bound in a hotel does cross the line..... Tickling someone at work or at a party, or any other mainstream situation is not cheating.....
Agreed. This is what everybody who says tickling is cheating is saying.
LOL. Rhiannon, that's total bullshit and you know it. The OP mentioned nothing of bondage or gagging, and Jerseyguy is the first to mention a hotel. So that is certainly not "what everybody who says tickling is cheating is saying." Hell, it isn't even close to what YOU've been saying:
If your SO thinks it's cheating, then it is.
In the end, it doesn't matter anyways if you, your neighbor of the whole world thinks it's cheating or not, if you SO thinks it is, that's all what matters.
Whenever this topic comes up, my answer is always the same: It depends on how your SO perceives it, because in the end it is them who will leave you for what they consider cheating. You can say "It's not cheating" all you want, if they think it is and it's a reason for them to break up, there is nothing you can do.
"If your SO thinks it's cheating, then it is." Whatever you're doing, even if the whole world thinks it isn't cheating, it still IS cheating if your SO thinks it is, and that certainly includes tickling someone at work or at a party. This is the Rhiannon Dogma which you've held to steadfastly...until now.
Now you're suddenly agreeing that tickling someone at work or at a party is NOT cheating, and on top of that, you're acting like this was your position all along. You're unbelievable.
For the record, my argument has consistently been that tickling is not sexual and therefore not cheating. But a guy going to a hotel room with a woman who's not his SO would be considered inappropriate by the vast majority of people. Throw in bondage and a gag, and you've crossed several lines before the first ticklish giggle.
But to some people, tickling is NEVER cheating because tickling is NEVER sexual.
I never said that. I've said all along that tickling of private parts and erogenous zones qualifies as sexual. The tickling that I'm talking about that isn't sexual would be tickling the feet, armpits, ribs, and sides.
