Is tickling equivalent to sex for you?

[duderino84]

So, I've had this dilemma a few weeks.

A lot of people "in the dating scene" (if there's any left) make people out to be looking for sex.

But to me, none of my kink has ever really seemed like sex to me.

It's plenty sexual, but what "intercourse" am I having if I have things (hair/ tickling) play out my way?

Dating seems like commitment.

I'm not really too hot on commitment if my "objective" doesn't align with the "standard."

I just want someone who can take turns with the tickling action and smile about it.

Is it kinda nuts of me to put this all together? Or am I on to something?

 

[MikeMenace]

Correct me if I'm wrong but that just sounds like tickling is not a kink but a full-blown fetish for you. The former is something you like but can get off without. The latter is something you need to be sexually aroused.

In my case, tickling is definitely a fetish and I find it more interesting than penetrative sex, which I could do without.

 

[duderino84]

I'm on the tickling forum so I left out any of my other fetishes in this post. It's not like they aren't visible here.

I'm not going to argue what's a kink vs what's a fetish.

The thing is, I haven't cared for or seeked actual Intercourse because it wasn't on my radar, even when I was young.

So I'm just throwing it out there to see what the opinion is.

 

[MikeMenace]

The thing is, I haven't cared for or seeked actual Intercourse because it wasn't on my radar, even when I was young.

Know the feeling. Never fantasized about sex or felt the need to have it. My sexuality was always centered around tickling. Even the body parts I'm attracted to are the classic tickle spots (feet, belly, underarms).

As I experimented I did find out that I enjoy worshipping feet, orgasm play and giving oral, but what I like about these activities is controlling the other person's body through touch (which I guess makes them tickling adjacent in my mind).

 

[yinzer]

They are not equivalent to me, but they're so closely related and intertwined they can be hard to disentangle. Unfortunately, I've never had the opportunity to actually do both at the same time. Other than my foot kink, none of my ex-girlfriends knew about my other kinks, including tickling.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Not even close. Still enjoy it a lot, though.

 

[yinzer]

Not even close. Still enjoy it a lot, though.

If you had to choose one or the other, which one would you choose? I'm guessing intercourse?

 

[duderino84]

They are not equivalent to me, but they're so closely related and intertwined they can be hard to disentangle. Unfortunately, I've never had the opportunity to actually do both at the same time. Other than my foot kink, none of my ex-girlfriends knew about my other kinks, including tickling.

I did at one point. ... the scenario didn't calm my mind so I tried for a bit and just felt like going back to tickling.

 

[duderino84]

Not even close. Still enjoy it a lot, though.

So you consider them separate?

My whole thing is, if I had more exposure to actual opportunities, I might deviate, but for dating, it's always kind of been preferable to date someone, Tickle them, let them use their hands/ etc on me.

I just feel weird about it. But the tickling fills the gap when I have it.

 

[TheKnifeOfTurin]

I've never had any interest in sexual intercourse whatsoever, so to say that tickling is "equivalent" to sex, in my case, would not be correct, since tickling is the only thing that turns me on.

 

[Silverflame3]

I like to think of it as two separate needs. Tickling will make me horny, but I can tickle someone and not want to fuck them. For example, in M/F cases yes, I will want it to lead into sex. Buf in M/M cases, even though I may want nothing sexual with the dudes involved, I can still find the whole thing arousing.

 

[yinzer]

I did at one point. ... the scenario didn't calm my mind so I tried for a bit and just felt like going back to tickling.

I guess when it comes to sex, it's more important to me that I have a romantic relationship and commitment with the person than it is for tickling. When it comes to tickling, I just need to be physically/sexually attracted to them, and it also helps that I actually like the person I'm tickling, because I still like to have some sort of connection with them if that makes sense?

 

[MindOverWhatMatters]

These are two completely separate things for me. It doesn’t mean that one can’t be elevated into something completely intimate and sexual, but ultimately I feel I could tickle or be tickled by multiple different people.

I’m only interested in sex monogamously with one person. For me specifically, that’s a boundary that I would never be able to cross.

To each their own for sure

 

[duderino84]

I've never had any interest in sexual intercourse whatsoever, so to say that tickling is "equivalent" to sex, in my case, would not be correct, since tickling is the only thing that turns me on.

See, that's where the corner turns and I go "cheating? how could I worry about cheating? I'm not even having sex!"

 

[duderino84]

I guess when it comes to sex, it's more important to me that I have a romantic relationship and commitment with the person than it is for tickling. When it comes to tickling, I just need to be physically/sexually attracted to them, and it also helps that I actually like the person I'm tickling, because I still like to have some sort of connection with them if that makes sense?

Ah, I remember those days.

The thing for me is, I think we idealise connection, but I don't think I really connect with others. For me, the times where I thought there was connection, it really was just in my head because it wasn't mutual.

 

[yinzer]

Ah, I remember those days.

The thing for me is, I think we idealise connection, but I don't think I really connect with others. For me, the times where I thought there was connection, it really was just in my head because it wasn't mutual.

As was the case with all of my ex's, which is why we're no longer together!

 

[Comfort Eagle]

If you had to choose one or the other, which one would you choose? I'm guessing intercourse?

Yep.

So you consider them separate?

My whole thing is, if I had more exposure to actual opportunities, I might deviate, but for dating, it's always kind of been preferable to date someone, Tickle them, let them use their hands/ etc on me.

I just feel weird about it. But the tickling fills the gap when I have it.

Tickling enhances sexual arousal. Ideally I'll never be with a partner who won't at least indulge me, even if they're not a fullblown fetishist. If I had a choice between no tickling ever again and no sex ever again, though? I'm keeping sex.

 

[yinzer]

Yep.

Tickling enhances sexual arousal. Ideally I'll never be with a partner who won't at least indulge me, even if they're not a fullblown fetishist. If I had a choice between no tickling ever again and no sex ever again, though? I'm keeping sex.

Feels like such an impossible choice to have to make for me since they're both so amazing!

 

[D-Tickler]

I've never had any interest in sexual intercourse whatsoever, so to say that tickling is "equivalent" to sex, in my case, would not be correct, since tickling is the only thing that turns me on.

Wow, we're exactly the same
So, we're both Asexual guys who have tickle fetish!
And I'm absolutely hetero-romantic. So I want to have a female partner who just enjoy being tickled by me but never wants to have penetrative sex with me...
How about you?

 

[duderino84]

Yep.

Tickling enhances sexual arousal. Ideally I'll never be with a partner who won't at least indulge me, even if they're not a fullblown fetishist. If I had a choice between no tickling ever again and no sex ever again, though? I'm keeping sex.

Yea but see. .. the thing with me is. .."real" sex has germs.

Tickling has tons of sexual arousal for me. But I always just want to see people's faces/ hands with that energy.

Looking a partner look incredulously at how turned on I get post- tickling or from time with her kind of trumps thinking about doing any penetration.

I remember one I tickled kind of expressed "I thought you'd take me upstairs like the others. .." and shortly after when I offered to let her "see" my arousal from the session had this reaction like "why didn't you SAY anything!?"

IDK dude sex just in my head and the porn films I've seen has always looked like this rehearsed superficial mechanical exchange that I'm wondering what I get out of it is if it eats into time tickling?

 

[TheKnifeOfTurin]

Wow, we're exactly the same
So, we're both Asexual guys who have tickle fetish!
And I'm absolutely hetero-romantic. So I want to have a female partner who just enjoy being tickled by me but never wants to have penetrative sex with me...
How about you?

I'm "attracted" only to girls, even if in my life I've had a crush (or whatever you want to call it) for a girl only, so far.
I'm not really interested in dating at the moment, but if I were searching a partner I too would prefer someone who shares my fetish or is willing to indulge in it. Unfortunately, the most difficult obstacle is my lack of interest for sex (or anything racier than petting), which, I guess, is understandably a turn off in many potential partners.

 

[hefophre]

I do not consider it equivalent in any way.

 

[rambophat31]

Im Asexual, I HATE intercourse but LOVE tickling.

 

[D-Tickler]

I've never had any interest in sexual intercourse whatsoever, so to say that tickling is "equivalent" to sex, in my case, would not be correct, since tickling is the only thing that turns me on.

Wow, we're exactly the same
So, we're both Asexual guys who have tickle fetish!
And I'm absolutely hetero-romantic. So I want to have a female partner who just enjoy being tickled by me but never wants to have penetrative sex with me...
How about you?

Im Asexual, I HATE intercourse but LOVE tickling.

Wow, we 3 Asexual ppl with tickle fetish have emerged in this thread!
It's really a thread that appeals Asexual ppl here😀

 

[rambophat31]

I also am AuDHD meaning I'm Autistic with ADHD lol. For along time I thought I was weird or not normal cause I hated sex and loved tickling but now I embrace it and don't really care what someone else thinks about me. I'm who I am and that's that.