Jokes

[ForgottenTcklr]

Here's page two of the list:

ON OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS
"I tried on 250 bathing suits in one afternoon and ended up having little scabs up and down my thighs, probably from some of those with sequins all over them."
-Cindy Crawford

ON ECONOMICS
"I don't even wake up for less than $10,000 a day."
-Linda Evangelista

ON THOUGHT
"When I model I pretty much go blank. You can't think too much or it doesn't work."
-Paulina Porizkova

ON DEPRIVATION
"If they had Nautilus on the Concorde, I would work out all the time."
-Linda Evangelista

ON MOTIVATION
"It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would."
-Kate Moss

ON VERSATILITY
"I can do anything you want me to do so long as I don't have to speak."
-Linda Evangelista

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Re: MALE HEARING!

What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
you and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear,
if we don't do laundry right now!?"

What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Thanks FT!!

Tracy,

That is such a funny joke.

I mean, granted it's corny... but it's great!!!

Korny? My joke was Korny? What ever do you mean? LOL actually I probably posted a few horny or lame jokes!

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Thanks TF

Tracy,

That is such a funny joke.

I mean, granted it's corny... but it's great!!!

Thanks TF, you have posted some good ones too, along with the rest of the memebers of course. I enjoy reading them. Thanks for starting this thread. I like the quote one too. Got any new stories TF? 🙂

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

I'VE LEARNED:



...that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

...that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

...that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

...that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.

...that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think.

...that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

...that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

...that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

...that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

...that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

...that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

...that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

...to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

An Error in Publishing an Article:


Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms. They even provided a helpful photograph so amateur mushroom hounds could find their own growing in the wild. Unfortunately, the photograph instead showed Destroying Angels, which are deadly when eaten.

 

[Michigan J Frog]

Guest application for Jerry Springer show

GUEST APPLICATION FOR THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW



Personal Information:

Name___________ Nickname______________ CB Handle_____

Yore Mama________Yore Daddy (if known)_______

Spouse's Name_________

Relationship to spouse: ___Sister ____Brother ____Mother ____Father ___Pet ___Aunt ___Uncle

Occupation: ___Unemployed Mechanic ___Gun Show Dealer ___Skinhead

Number of Children in Household: ___ Number of children that are yours___

Circle Highest Level of Education: 1 2 3 4

How Far is Your Mobile Home From a Paved Road: ___1mi. __5 mi.?

Number of Times You Have Survived a Tornado: ___

Number of Vehicles Owned: ___ Number on Cement Blocks____

Truck Equipment: ___Gun Rack ___Pit Bull ___Spit Cup ___Fuzzy Dice ___
Rebel Flag ___Naked Woman Mudflaps ___NWO and/or NRA sticker

Weapons Owned: ___Tire Iron ___Pick Handle ___Beer Bottle ___Shotgun

Number of Dogs Owned: ___ Number of Homemade Tattoo: ___

Which of the Following Appliances are in your Front Yard: ___Friggerator ___Heatin Stove ___Warsher ___TV ___Freezer

How Many of the Above Appliances Work: ___

Fav-o-rite Recreation: ___Drinkin ___Cow Chip Throwin ___Possum Huntin ___Crawdad Huntin ___Spittin Backy ___Scratchin ___Watchin Wrasslin

If You Can Read, Which Magazines Do You Prefer: ___Soap Opera Digest___ Rifle and Shotgun ___NWA ___TV Guide ___National Enquirer___True Confessions

Which Stinks Worse: ___Hogpen ___Outhouse ___Spouse

Can You Spell Your Last Name:___Yup ___Nope

Can You Remember Your Last Name: ___Yup ___Nope

Have You Ever Stayed Sober for More Than One Day: ___Yup ___Nope

Do You Know Any Words with More Than 4 Letters: ___Yup ___Nope

Which is CorrectA: ___"I Seed Him" or ___"I Seen Him"

How Many Cartons of Cigarettes Do You Smoke a Day? ___

Math Test: How Many Food Stamps Do the Following Cost? ___Six Pack ___Ciggies ___Shotgun Shells ___Backy ___Prostitute

Number of Times You've Seen: ___a UFO ___ Elvis ___Elvis in a UFO

Health Questionaire: Which of the Following Do You Have?
___Head Lice ___B.O. ___Crabs ___Runny Nose ___Boils

Can You Remember the Last Time You Bathed? ___Yup ___Nope

Color of Teeth: ___Yellow ___Brown ___Black ___N/A

I hereby swear this is the trooth and and sign my "X" on _________19__

 

[Michigan J Frog]

(A parody of Footprints in the Sand)

BUTT PRINTS IN THE SAND
(A parody of Footprints in the Sand)



One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
Those prints are large and round and neat,
"But Lord, they are too big for feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Georgia Crazy Law

Georgia Crazy Law
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.


Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Signs are required to be written in English.


You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.


No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.


It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.


Acworth
All citizens must own a rake.


Atlanta
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.


One man may not be on another man's back.


Columbus
Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday.
It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.


Gainesville
Chicken must be eaten with the hands.


Jonesboro
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"


Kennesaw
Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.


Marietta
Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.


St. Mary's
No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.


Quitman
Cars are not to drive on sidewalks.


It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. love and peace everyone! Tracy

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Political Jokes - Clinton Testimony By Dr.Seuss

Political Jokes - Clinton Testimony By Dr.Seuss
I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar
I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park

I did not do it on a date
I did not ever fornicate
I did not do it at a dance
I did not do it in her pants

I did not get beyond first base
I did not do it in her face...oh yes he did

I never did it in a bed
If you think that, you've been misled
I did not do it with a groan
I did not do it on the phone

I did not cause her dress to stain
I never boinked Saddam Hussein
I did not do it with a whip
I never fondled Linda Tripp

I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey
There was one time with Margaret Thatcher
I chased her 'round, but could not catch her

No kinky stuff, not on your life
I wouldn't, even with my wife
And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes
Was paid for by my right-wing foes

And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party poopers

I did not ask my friends to lie
I did not hang them out to dry
I did not do it last November
But if I did, I don't remember

I did not do it in the hall
I could have, but I don't recall
I never did it in my study
I never did it with my dog, Buddy

I never did it to Sox, the cat
I might have once...with Arafat
I never did it in a hurry
I never groped Ms. Betty Currie

There was no sex at Arlington
There was no sex on Air Force One
I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal

But never did these things so lewd
At least, not ever in the nude
These things to which I have confessed
They do not count, if we stayed dressed

It never happened with cigar
I never dated Mrs. Starr
I did not know this little sin
Would be retold on CNN

I broke some rules my Mama taught me
I tried to hide, but now you've caught me

But I implore, I do beseech
Do not condemn, do not impeach
I might have got a little tail
But never, never did inhale.

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Men and Women Jokes - Politically Incorrect

Men and Women Jokes - Politically Incorrect
How to be politically correct with women

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Redneck Jokes - Redneck Railroad

Redneck Jokes - Redneck Railroad
Three railroad construction workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch.
"Man," the Chinese man says. "If I get another egg roll in my lunch, I'll kill myself."
"Man," the Italian says. "If I get another slice of pizza in my lunch, I'll kill myself."
"Man," the redneck says. "If I get another ham 'n' cheese sandwich in my lunch, I'll kill myself."
The next day, all three men get the same lunches, and they all three throw themselves in front of an oncoming train. At the funeral, everybody's crying.
"This is all my fault!" says the Chinese man's wife. "If only I hadn't packed an egg roll that day."
"This is all my fault!" says the Italian's wife. "If only I hadn't packed a slice of pizza that day."
"Don't look at me," says the redneck's wife. "He packed his own lunch."

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Blonde With A Gun

Blonde Jokes - Blonde With A Gun
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her.

She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, now she's angry!

She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!"

"Shut up," she says, "You're next."

Love and peace....Tracy

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

TOP 15 REASONS YOU WERE FIRED FROM TOYS R US!!!

Check out Number 12!!!


15. A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.

14. Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."

13. You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.

12. Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.

11. You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.

10. Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.

9. The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.

8. Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.

7. Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.

6. Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.

5. Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel.

4. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was "homemade Gack."

3. Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming success.

2. Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar.

1. Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I'm on break."

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

Top Ten Acronyms Least Used In Personal Ads

10. JRLA -- Janet Reno Look-Alike

9. CWP -- Cigar-Wielding President

8. MSG S/G W/B M/F KOPWPFYB -- Moonwalking Single-Gloved Straight/Gay White/Black Male/Female King Of Pop With Predilection For Young Boys

7. RHMI -- Really Hip Macarena Instructor

6. HAWGSOH -- Heroin Addict With Great Sense Of Humor

5. STLSM -- Show Tune-Loving Straight Male

4. SWFWHBTP -- Single White Female Who Has Blown The President

3. EHWC -- Extremely Hairy White Chick

2. WARSADAP -- Works At Radio Shack And Drives A Pinto And The Number One

1. WSUBFC -- Will Screw Ugly Bastards For Cash

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

SEX THERAPIST

A couple, both 67, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. The doctor examined them and then directed them to disrobe and go at it. When the couple finished, the doctor reexamined them and, upon completion, advised the couple, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He then charged them $32. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no apparent problems other than the lack of vigor which is to be expected in 67 year-olds, get dressed, pay the doctor, and then leave. Finally after almost two months of this routine, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "Oh, we're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married, so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60. The Hilton charges $78. We do it here for $32 and I get $28 back from Medicaid.

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

WAYS TO BE ANNOYING!

Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

Drum on every available surface.

Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Ask 800 operators for dates.

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Set alarms for random times.

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Tape pieces of "Sweatin' to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

Wear your pants backwards.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.

Steal a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

WAYS TO BE REALLY ANNOYING!

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ

Simpson conspiracy theories.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now."

Light road flares on a birthday cake.

Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin.

When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.

Name your dog "Dog".

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Ask people what gender they are.

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE WANT TO HURT YOU!

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

Sculpt your hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes.

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as

"Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Wear a LOT of cologne.

Ask to "interface" with someone.

Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".

Sing along at the opera.

Mow your lawn with scissors.

At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Never make eye contact.

Never break eye contact.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Forward e-mails back to the person that sent it to you.

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

I'VE LEARNED:

Hey FT, those were good! Tickling Thoughts. ~*Tracy*~ 😛

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Re: Guest application for Jerry Springer show

GUEST APPLICATION FOR THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW



Personal Information:

Name___________ Nickname______________ CB Handle_____

Yore Mama________Yore Daddy (if known)_______

Spouse's Name_________

Relationship to spouse: ___Sister ____Brother ____Mother ____Father ___Pet ___Aunt ___Uncle

Occupation: ___Unemployed Mechanic ___Gun Show Dealer ___Skinhead

Number of Children in Household: ___ Number of children that are yours___

Circle Highest Level of Education: 1 2 3 4

How Far is Your Mobile Home From a Paved Road: ___1mi. __5 mi.?

Number of Times You Have Survived a Tornado: ___

Number of Vehicles Owned: ___ Number on Cement Blocks____

Truck Equipment: ___Gun Rack ___Pit Bull ___Spit Cup ___Fuzzy Dice ___
Rebel Flag ___Naked Woman Mudflaps ___NWO and/or NRA sticker

Weapons Owned: ___Tire Iron ___Pick Handle ___Beer Bottle ___Shotgun

Number of Dogs Owned: ___ Number of Homemade Tattoo: ___

Which of the Following Appliances are in your Front Yard: ___Friggerator ___Heatin Stove ___Warsher ___TV ___Freezer

How Many of the Above Appliances Work: ___

Fav-o-rite Recreation: ___Drinkin ___Cow Chip Throwin ___Possum Huntin ___Crawdad Huntin ___Spittin Backy ___Scratchin ___Watchin Wrasslin

If You Can Read, Which Magazines Do You Prefer: ___Soap Opera Digest___ Rifle and Shotgun ___NWA ___TV Guide ___National Enquirer___True Confessions

Which Stinks Worse: ___Hogpen ___Outhouse ___Spouse

Can You Spell Your Last Name:___Yup ___Nope

Can You Remember Your Last Name: ___Yup ___Nope

Have You Ever Stayed Sober for More Than One Day: ___Yup ___Nope

Do You Know Any Words with More Than 4 Letters: ___Yup ___Nope

Which is CorrectA: ___"I Seed Him" or ___"I Seen Him"

How Many Cartons of Cigarettes Do You Smoke a Day? ___

Math Test: How Many Food Stamps Do the Following Cost? ___Six Pack ___Ciggies ___Shotgun Shells ___Backy ___Prostitute

Number of Times You've Seen: ___a UFO ___ Elvis ___Elvis in a UFO

Health Questionaire: Which of the Following Do You Have?
___Head Lice ___B.O. ___Crabs ___Runny Nose ___Boils

Can You Remember the Last Time You Bathed? ___Yup ___Nope

Color of Teeth: ___Yellow ___Brown ___Black ___N/A

I hereby swear this is the trooth and and sign my "X" on _________19__

What is so sad about this application, is that people actually fill out one to go to that show! I for one think that it should be taken off TV, but hey that is why I have an on and off...I choose to turn it off when Trash comes on.

Tickling thoughts! ~*Tracy~*

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Re: TOP 15 REASONS YOU WERE FIRED FROM TOYS R US!!!

Check out Number 12!!!

12. Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.

Hey FT those were good, and # 12 I paid attention too 😛 Thickling Thoughts! ~*Tracy*~

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Thought this should be on the top ten, sorry🙁

 

[Moses25]

During his bachelor party, the groom-to-be, in an intoxicated stupor, gets his wife's name tattooed on his penis. So now, whenever he gets erect, it will say the name of his love, "Wendy", and when it is flaccid, just "Wy".

Skip ahead to the honeymoon...

The two newlyweds arrive in Jamaica on a bright, sunny warm day. Upon entering the airport, the man quickly goes to the lavatory to relieve himself after the long journey.

Unfortunately, there are only two urinals, one of them occupied by a rather large Rastafarian. Smiling politely, the man eases himself into position, opens his fly, and begins to pee. Looking down (every man does it) he notices the letters "Wy" tattooed on the black man's penis. "OMG", he says in surprise, "Your wife's name is Wendy, too!!"

The Rastafarian casually looks at him and grins.

"No mon. I be working for de tourism industry. It say "Welcome to Jamaica!! Have a nice day." "

Cheers.😀

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Cheers.😀

That was a good one Moses 🙂