Maria-Not Ticklish-Supposedly..

[Mitchell]

Hopefully this doesn't turn into a "Mitch Blow Up Thread". I've been trying to keep personal things to my blog. I wanted to post this piece of info in the main.

I saw Maria today, and we had our usual long convo. What we talked about is personal, of course, so I wont post that, as it isn't relevant, but this is...

I.. white lied.. a little.. but decided I really wanted to finally ask her if she is ticklish.

So.. we were discussing.. exes.. (As I've posted before, my main ex wasn't ticklish). However.. I told her that I used to have a girl "Friend" who was a real pain, and.. sometimes.. to piss her off. I would tickle her, and she was very ticklish". (That is true, my friend Lora, in college, who I've posted, always played with my head, but wouldn't go out with me seriously. I did tickle Lora once during a massage I was giving her, and, as I posted before, her feet were very ticklish.) I wanted to see Maria's reaction, before flat out asking her if she was ticklish.. which I would have. However.. she had the following reply. She kind of.,. smirked.. almost like "You sadistic bastard", even though she didn't say that, and then she said "I'm really not" (Ticklish).

Granted, I was disappointed. While I know people can lie about their ticklishness, and the only way to really know, is to tickle them. I'm inclined to believe she's telling me the truth. I've never known her to lie to me before, she told me she hates liars, and also said she tells me things she doesn't tell anyone else.

I know she and I aren't going to be serious. I care for her very much, though. I will say this, even in spite of her supposedly not being ticklish, I'd be with her in a minute if she wanted to, ticklish or not. She's a wonderful person.

Anyhow, just wanted to post this. Henceforth any other personal info goes in the blog as I've been doing, but since this is relevant to ticklishness, I figured I'd post it in the main.

 

[simon420]

I hope things work out how you want. And as far as her not being ticklish, maybe she hasn't lied to you about other things, and even if she isn't telling the truth and is ticklish, would that upset you? I can say that it wouldn't upset me. I feel that admitting ticklishness is pretty personal. Perhaps she feels the same?

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, simon.

I would be shocked if she and I end up as bf/gf. We've known each other for months, and I've asked her out multiple times. She claims she doesn't want to be involved. I think its three things. It may be that. I think she's hung up on another guy, and I think she just likes me as a friend. Such is fine. She's always been nice to me, which I appreciate.

If she and I did get involved, and I found out she "lied" to me about being ticklish? No, I wouldn't be upset. I'd be happy that she is ticklish, and happy to be involved with her.

My honest feeling is that isn't going to happen. Plus, she works in a restaurant, is leaving for her company's restaurant in another boro in a couple of months, and I'm not even sure about keeping in touch with her. It's an odd situation. I just try to take it for what it is, even though I do have feelings for her. I know I cant force what may never be.

 

[SoleMates]

I may as well be the one to throw the gasoline on the fire...

Mitch... you really suck at bringing up tickling in a non-creepy way.

This is what you said, in not so many words;

"So, I knew this girl once with a particular characteristic, and to really piss her off, I used it against her. Do you have that same characteristic?"

She didn't say yes? Can't imagine why.

Now, it's a possibility that she wouldn't lie to you about that, but can you see how the odds were really stacked against you with that opener, coupled with whatever expectant body language you were probably radiating like a beacon that only women in their infinite magic can see?

I mean, you came running here to tell us all about it, despite us not knowing jack about this girl and theoretically not caring about the ticklishness of some random stranger (although I suppose I'm giving this community too much credit in that regard).

Seriously, dude; these openers of yours are terrible, and if anyone tried them on me, I'd be like "what the fuck?" - and that's coming from a fellow tickle fetishist who's not even a woman.

You may now blow up and call me all sorts of names if you like, rather than ponder my words in the spirit they were intended.

 

[Mitchell]

SoleMates, considering your posting history with me, I DO take your post as nothing more than a potshot against me. Here's why.

Maybe YOU haven't read about this girl, but people on the forum DO know about her. I've posted about her in the main forum, and in my blog.

Second: She and I have discussed FAR more personal things than just "Tickling". (Explicit sexual stuff, about our other partners, and each other) We've asked each other FAR more personal questions than just "Tickling".

I had no "Body language". I was sitting, she was standing, talking to me, as she always does.

She's also a very direct person, no bullshit. If she didn't want to discuss her ticklishness, she would not have said " Not really". She would have said "Mitch, whether or not I'm ticklish, is none of your business".

Your conclusion doesn't surprise me. You';re the maven. You know everything about her, me, our interaction, her personality, etc.

Next time, know what you're talking about, before just firing off at me. It would make your post seem much more valid, and intelligent, and not just your usual potshot at me.

 

[Mitchell]

One other thing:

If there's one thing I hate most in the world.. it's people who pass judgment on situations, when they don't know the facts involved., Automatically, because a girl I like tells me she isn't ticklish, SoleMates, the maven on everything, HAS to conclude that Maria is lying,and Mitch is the "Creep", instead of the possilbilty she really isn't ticklish.

Some people truly aren't ticklish. My ex gf was, 19, 20 years old, and she wasn't ticklish.

Had this been me, and someone else would have posted about finally discussing tickling with a girl they liked.. MY reaction would have been.. "That;s good you discussed it with her, sorry she isn't ticklish". Or even a more benign "Okay, maybe she is or isn't telling the truth, as she might not be comfortable talking about it". (reasonable). SoleMates, because he fucking knows it all, and has to take a potshot at Mitch, just HAD to call Mitch a "Creep", without knowing anything about the girl, or Mitch's and her interaction.

As I said before, I take your post as what it is. You said, and I quote "Might as well pour gasoline on the fire" (Which is all you did), and then had to play the "Mitch is a creep card". HOW can I think your post is anything more than a potshot, when you say those things. You're trying to justify it otherwise, is more ridiculous than the post itself.

 

[FeatherQuill]

Chances are she was telling the truth, but you never know. While you may not think the two of you will get together, if she's moving away soon I'd ask her how she feels about you before she goes. Worst thing that could happen is she says she just wants to be friends. At least this way you won't be left wondering 'what if...' when she leaves. There's a chance she could want to be with you but was just hesitant to ask again for whatever reason. If you really care about her and want the chance to be in a relationship with her, just ask her. Don't let someone this special to you just walk out of your life without putting up a fight.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for the feedback, Feather. Two things..

One, she's not "moving away". She will still be in NY. She's just going to work at a restaurant her company has in Brooklyn, instead of the one in Queens.

Second, I already know how she feels. She likes me as a person,. a lot, and as a friend. She doesn't want to get involved with me. It's several reasons. One, I think her feelings about me are just friendship, and not more, which is fine. Two, she seems to be hung up on this other guy, even though she denies it, and three, she claims she doesn't want to be involved with anyone.

She is very special, but I doubt she and I are going to get serious. I'm just going to take it for what it is, and try to enjoy it for what it is.

 

[maniactickler]

This is why i prefer online dating. i can find out if a woman is ticklish, without having to go out on dates and waste time and money.

 

[Mitchell]

LOL, I like that, maniac. You make me laugh, my friend.

Maria and I weren't on a "date". I was just visiting her at the restaurant she works at. We don't date. She just likes me as a friend, as well as the other reasons I posted.

 

[Mitchell]

I'm going to tell everyone something.. to clarify.. and refute the idea of my discussing tickling with her, being "creepy".

In addition to sexual questions she's asked me, Maria already knows I have a foot fetish. I may have posted this before. When I told her, she kind of chuckled, and said "I have ugly feet". I'm sure if at that point I had asked her "Are your feet ticklish?" or.. "I like tickling too, are you ticklish", she probably would have thought nothing of it. She's a very open person.

I haven't felt that she was "Creepy" for the extremely personal, and sexual, questions shes asked me. I feel we know each other well enough, so I don't see why I'm a "Creep" for bringing up tickling to her.

 

[foot fun]

The worst kind of woman is the kind that is "friends" with a guy that wants a full blown relationship with her. It is a power trip, because she controls every aspect of the friendship. I was in the nightclub business for years and saw this week after week with patrons that were in the same situation.

Don't stop by and see Maria for a month and see if she calls you. That will show you her true colors.

Lastly Mitchell, don't start a real relationship with a woman who isn't ticklish or with one that won't let you tickle her. Look at how much time you spend here, tickling is important to you.

PS: I love the fact that you honor your mother's memory here.
Good luck.

 

[Mitchell]

foot fun, while I understand your point.. I want to make very clear that I in no way hold any bad feelings toward, or about, Maria, for her not wanting a relationship with me. She has never been rude to me in any way, and has been straightforward.

I'm not sure I can control myself from not seeing her for a month, plus, she's leaving.. so.. I may not have much time left with her anyway.

I doubt I would be with a woman who completely refused to let me tickle her or play with her feet. As for someone who isn't ticklish.. if I found someone with all the other qualities who wasn't ticklish, I doubt I would turn my back on her just because of not being ticklish.

Thanks for saying you love how I honor my mother's memory. My life has completely changed since she passed.

 

[WorkInProgress]

Mitchell: I certainly don't think you're creepy, but there is one point you may be missing here. The real question isn't whether she's ticklish, but rather, whether she's going to let you tickle her. When she says she's not ticklish, she's pretty much saying the same thing as when she says she has ugly feet, which is that she doesn't have what you're looking for when it comes to intimacy and fetishes, but she'd still like to be friends. Or so it sounds to me.

 

[Mitchell]

Work, first, thank you for saying I'm not creepy.

I agree with your analysis that Maria probably doesn't have what I'm looking for when it comes to intimacy. As I said earlier in this thread, I would be very surprised if she and I get serious, or if I get the opportunity to tickle her. I also agree that she definitely likes me as a friend., Its that angle that I plan to continue, and hopefully, keep, even after she leaves Queens.

 

[Libertine]

The more time you spend out and about perfecting the skill of chatting about nothing in particular and making pleasant small talk to women IRL the easier it will become and the more relaxed you will be with them. Keep that up, meet and cultivate the friendship of as many other girls as you can- it's warm out and there are plenty in parks and suchlike- in addition to your friend Maria and you should find someone to talk to more intimately sooner or later. Don't put pressure on yourself to get to the nitty-gritty in your first conversation- just let things evolve. The more irons in the fire the better the possibilities.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for the encouragement, Libertine. I plan to do just what you said.

 

[GQguy]

I agree with Lib. Women aren't easy. The more you learn the better you'll be. There will always be Monday morning quarterbacks telling you "dude, you should have said this, or that", but they weren't there. At least you tried. Now try a different strategy with a different girl. Hell, use this girl to help you meet new women. If a beautiful woman rejects me but wants my friendship, better believe I'm hooking up with her beautiful friends that have better taste in men 😉 I suggest you do the same.

 

[SoleMates]

Yes Mitch, you caught me. I hate you with every fiber of my being, and I write these posts not because I feel that they're advice that you need to hear, but because I'm an asshole who gets off solely on poking you and watching you have a meltdown. Why? Because you're MITCHELL, the guy everybody loves to hate.

You can stop reading now, because I'm going to do nothing but insult you for the next few paragraphs.

***

This whole thing is a textbook example of how a lot of fetishists shoot themselves in the foot with regards to approaching people they're interested in. It's not that they're bad people, it's just that they don't listen to their instincts. If they did, they would have a much better idea of how to pick their targets, and far fewer tales of woe to post here.

Let's start from the top. Joe Fetish knows a girl, and they're friends, maybe even really close. Joe would like nothing better than to engage in Fetish Fun with her, but he doesn't know how to go about asking.

Why?

Because Joe's instincts are telling him he shouldn't ask, because Joe's instincts are that she doesn't feel that way about him and she would say no. Conversely, Joe knows that asking her would be awkward because they've never had the kind of conversation where asking wouldn't be awkward. (Talking about sex doesn't count, unless it's about sex with you, specifically.)

But, rather than just shrug and move on to a new target, Joe obsesses over this particular one. He has to KNOW - after all, it's THE QUESTION, and it's VERY IMPORTANT that that question be answered. Joe is not alone in this obsession; we see it play out here hundreds of times a day in the Ticklish Celebrities forum alone.

So, Joe decides that THE QUESTION must be asked, against his better judgement; after all, said judgement could be wrong, right? He could be pleasantly surprised. It does happen. But he still doesn't know how to ask.

This is where most of the time, the gun is loaded and pointing downwards.

Because, since similar topics have never come up, he's at a loss as to how to work it into the conversation such that it's free and easy and sounds natural, completely ignoring the fact that there's no way you can make it sound natural unless the groundwork has been laid. I think, on some level, most of us can tell when a girl is into us, and most of the times we get anxious over what she'll say is when we know we won't like the answer.

So, Joe decides that he can't come right out and say it, he has to work his way up to it, and what better way to do that than hint around it passive-aggressively and talk about it in the third person? So he invents some wacky story about his cousin getting tickle-tortured at the nail salon, hoping she'll take the bait, or if he's really lacking in finesse, blurt out something about tying her up to cure her of biting her nails.

And, naturally, these crazy schemes fall flat, because they're forced, awkward, and come out of nowhere, and his target is left wondering "What the hell just happened? Why are we talking about bondage when five seconds ago we were discussing squirrels? Was this just some ulterior motive thing? What's he trying to hide?" - and she steers the conversation back onto squirrels, and Joe comes here to cry about why he can't find a tickle partner and why do so many females hate tickle fetishists? WHY? WHY?

...unless you're Mitchell, in which case you come here with a chip on your shoulder and say "Hey guys, I know all of you told me not to do it but I did it anyway so NYAH".

So, seriously; this advice goes for ANYONE; if you can't think of a natural way to work tickling into the conversation, it's because you shouldn't be doing it. The cart is before the horse, and you know it. Dial it back and either wait for the right opportunity, or forget about it and move on, because the world will not end if THE QUESTION goes unanswered.

And now I am going to walk away from this thread and forget about it, because I have a shoot with a smokin' hot belly dancer next week and I would much rather think about how I can make it the best shoot EVAR.

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, thanks. I know your advice was sincere, and I appreciate it.

SoleMates, good. I'm glad you are going to walk away from this thread.. because.. I feel you have done nothing else but insult me, even if the mods don't consider it a "GR Violation". I only have two things to say to you in regard to your post.

One.. in the situation with the hair salon girl.. In that case.. she was probably the wrong person to ask about being ticklish. While she was extremely hot, she was also married, so there was no chance in hell anything was even going to happen with her, even friendship. I tried asking her because I just wanted to know about her ticklishness. In THAT CASE, if someone said I was "Creepy", that might well have been a valid assessment.

THIS is a completely different situation. Maria is a girl who I've had intensely personal conversations with. As an example, not that it's anyone's fucking business.. but.. she asked me questions about the size of my penis, and if I have trouble sustaining an erection during sex!
(I swear to this on my mom's grave. Everyone knows how much I loved my mom. I would never post something that was a lie, and then swear to it on my mom's grave) Sooo,, would SHE be considered a "Creep" for asking a guy she's just "friends with" about his penis, and whether he can perform during sex! (I would never ask a girl about her private area, breast size.. or sex performance, until I was at least somewhat intimate with her). Had I asked her the questions she's asked me, I would have been considered a "perv" "Creep", etc.

So.. once again.. before you berate me like a know it all, know ALL THE FACTS.

If I came to the forum, all the time, posting constant stories about asking random girls I didn't even know about their ticklishness, THEN I could see people calling me a "Creep". When I come on here, discussing a tickling discussion with a girl who I've known for a year, and talked to, for literally hundreds of hours, and ask her about tickling, after she;s asked me such personal questions..,. all I was really doing was trying to inquire if someone I like, and know a lot about, a friend, is ticklish.

I don't expect you to change your position, SoleMates, but these are the facts. I really should care not what you think, considering your posting history with me, and your posts in this thread.