Marriage & Tickling

[laughingboy2000]

I have to say that if my girlfriend would absolutely not let me tickle her, and give me no outlet for my fetish at all, I just couldn't marry her. Tickling is something that my wife would have to let me fulfill, because I need to have it released.

 

[Ticklee1973]

Well I guess I'll chime in on this because I've been on both sides. I'll say first off though that I wasn't aware how much tickling was part of my life until a couple of years ago so I was in a relationship, had kids, etc. and he was definitely not a ticklephile. In fact he was perhaps the most vanilla person I will ever know. I will say though that the sexual aspect of a marriage is huge for me, I would refuse to date someone that I was not physically connected to. That being said, tickling can be playful for me but it can also be very sexual.

In the last couple of years I have dated men who were not into the tickling scene and I was very open about it. Several of them thought it was silly and basically were embarrassed to even try it, well let me tell you where those men are today, certainly not in my life in terms of a relationship. Without having anyone jump down my throat, none of these men possessed all the characteristics I would want in a husband so I can't say for certain whether if they had everything else if I could work without the tickling thing. I will however say that if tickling is a sexual thing for you, it is very naive to say that if you're wife/husband hates it, it isn't going to affect the marriage. The truth is it will and when there's issues with the sexual relationship there will be issues with other things based on resentment, etc.

In my current relationships, my desire for tickling and yes I'll go out on a limb here and say a need for my sexual relationship is set forth upfront so if they have a problem with it then I know before I have developed any sort of connection to them. I refuse to settle for a relationship where I'm not going to be happy. And yes this is not the same for everyone. Some can just leave the tickling behind and move on. I'm just saying I'm not one of them. So that would be my .02, hopefully I didn't piss anyone off. Just how I feel about things.

Sandee

 

[liontickler]

Dont ever marry anyone who cant make you happy in bed. Only troble lies ahead. I love tickling, and would never marry a women that was not very unbelieveably ticklish, and i would never marry someone who would not let me tickle her.There is just to much bull shit one has to put up with, not to get what they want in bed. And i dont fall in love with ladys who are not ticklish.

 

[lightninbug]

The thing I love about middle age...

...is that ALL the games kinda peter out & what's left is real.

I was involved w/ a Lady that, after 2 yrs..(long story), I'd finally WON a second chance with.. Sex, among other things, was an important part of the mix. Cutting to the chase: I tried what she liked BUT , under NO circumstances, would there be any consent of her being tickled. For 5 years I renounced my specific fetish & concentrated on what worked for 1 person in a 2 person deal.In the end, & there was an End, I remembered that I had the right to be myself as well as anyone else. We have the right to be the people we are.

That's the ONLY way I can reply to this thread.
BUG

 

[maniactickler]

My opinion.....move on. plenty of other women out there better suited for your needs. i wouldnt even attempt to get serious with a woman who wasnt into tickling.

 

[AquaFeline]

Anyone whose opinion has changed over the last 4 years?

This is related to the anguished thread I had posted earlier on the general discussion. Wish I had found this one as it makes me feel sadly vindicated.

 

[dvnc]

I missed your other thread, Aquafeline. Sounds like it wasn't a happy one. Sorry t'hear that.

My perspective's still the same, four years later. I found one of us, and married her. Much easier when you can focus on the relationship, which is complicated enough, without glaring failings in the sexual-desire department. It ain't easy, though. Marriage generally ain't easy. I've yet to meet someone who could honestly say it is. I *have* met several smartasses who'd say it is, just t'see if I'd flinch, though, and I'll be surprised if that don't happen here.😉

Nothing of lasting significance in this life is easy, it seems. *shrug*

Good thread t'pull up, Mitchell!

 

[pennyg]

You might want to try some soft, erotic tickling used during foreplay. Slowly get her into it. That has worked for me in the past with others who were not into tickling.
If that does not get her into our world then you and only you need to examine your own feelings towards this lady and decide, if a life without being able to tickle your partner is right for you.

 

[reflexology414]

My thoughts

Tickling appears to be quite important to you. It is to me as well... it's
hard-wired into my brain, to borrow your words.

If your girlfriend is truly NOT open to your tickling interests, I would strongly advise you not to get married. You would never be truly happy, and in the end, it most likely would not work out.

Whenever I start going out with someone, I try to find out where they stand on all of this early on. Tickling (and feet) and exceedingly important to me, and I could never be happy in a relationship with a woman who isn't open to that.

I genuinely wish you the best, but I can't see how this would work if she's really that opposed to tickling (and the internet is not a suitable, long-term replacement for real-life interaction with someone you care for deeply).

 

[Tcklsh_Kandy]

You might want to try some soft, erotic tickling used during foreplay. Slowly get her into it. That has worked for me in the past with others who were not into tickling.
If that does not get her into our world then you and only you need to examine your own feelings towards this lady and decide, if a life without being able to tickle your partner is right for you.

I agree 100% with penny . I'd also ask ( if you haven't done so yet) why she dosen't like it . Explain to her how ytou feel about it and see if she would slowly get into it ( Maybe using a safe word to start ) .

 

[blondie46]

I can relate to this thread. That younger man from Lebanon, exfiance, called today and very much wants us to get back together and be married. My heart just isn't in it at this time. He's smart, loves me, is cute, multilanguages, my religion, etc. We have so much in common. I am sure he would never agree to tickling, and I am not comfortable talking about it with him. Once a long time ago I brought it up, got no response, and then never brought it up again. It would probably work out and I can live a long SEMI happy life. I'm not sure. Critical thinking skills are necessary for decisions like this. assessment, possible outcomes, evaluation, and all that cr@p. Sometimes I would like to just concentrate on my studies, life, and forget about love altogether. That's pretty empty too though.

 

[AquaFeline]

I can relate to this thread. That younger man from Lebanon, exfiance, called today and very much wants us to get back together and be married. My heart just isn't in it at this time. He's smart, loves me, is cute, multilanguages, my religion, etc. We have so much in common. I am sure he would never agree to tickling, and I am not comfortable talking about it with him. Once a long time ago I brought it up, got no response, and then never brought it up again. It would probably work out and I can live a long SEMI happy life. I'm not sure. Critical thinking skills are necessary for decisions like this. assessment, possible outcomes, evaluation, and all that cr@p. Sometimes I would like to just concentrate on my studies, life, and forget about love altogether. That's pretty empty too though.

I hear ya about forgetting about love, Blondie, though it may not hurt to bring things up again since it's been a while. His thoughts about it may have changed since then (and ya didn't really know his thoughts or objections in the first place it sounds like.)

 

[dvnc]

I'm wit' Aquafeline - if you're already ready to walk, it can't do worse to re-check that situation, ESPECIALLY given the other areas in which they match your needs.

That's important stuff, after all.

Love ain't somethin' ya NEED to forget about. You CAN benefit from focusing on other things. It's gonna find ya whether you're lookin' or not. It's not a puzzle. It's more like a cold, in that it'll get ya when it finds ya, and there ain't a damned thing you can do to stop it. You can wait it out, weather it, or learn to cope. 😉

Sometimes it's well worth coping. Tricky stuff, too, 'cause even when you find a ticklephile, or someone who'll exchange your interests for theirs, there's still the degree to which they want such intimacy, which invariably is less or more than your desires, plus the life intricacies, and those annoying little habits that ALL lovers have. My wife deals with my failings ALL the time, as I do with hers. It's a tricky business.

An old guy's $0.02,

dvnc

 

[DEEPSHOTONE]

Marriage and Tickling

G-man,

I totally agree with Richard. You have to sit down and ask yourself how important tickling is to you. My wife of 7 years isint ticklish at all. As a matter of fact, she thinks people like all of us have a serious problem. I also love womens feet and she thinks the same. Many people are advising you not to let tickling and your love for tickling be a deciding factor. I disagree 100%. I married my wife knowing she wasn't ticklish and it has come back to haunt me. My wife is beautiful, smart (masters in HR) and a hell of a bread winnner. I thought I could surpress it and talked myself into thinkng I did not need it. Boy was I wrong. It only made me want it more. Especially when I discoverd all the tickling website. If you didnt enjoy tickling, you wouldnt watch vid's or pay-per view sites or have mag's ect.. If you don't address this completely before you get married you will regrete it. I ended up craving tickling so much I started to look for it outside my marriage. I've had many tickling partners over the last three years. They were not sexual although it is a sexual turn on for me. It goes without saying that my wife was very upset. I dont want anyone to have to resort to sneeking around with other people to satisfy a need. That will destroy the marriage. My wife and I are getting a divorce for many reasons other than tickling. But I cant help to wonder if she was ticklish and accepted my lifestyle maybe, just maybe things would be totlally different. This topic goes beyond tickling. It can go for any reason or fetish. I met a guy 3 yrs ago who loves to receive oral sex. His wife is repulsed by it and wont do it at all. Needless to say he's very unhappy. We all have to be honest not just with our partners but Ourselves! The one thing I have learned from all of this is not to settle for less that what you want and deserve. Dont go crazy with that thought, be reasonable. The next relationship I get into you better beleive the woman will know where I stand. She will understand my love for tickling and if she isint willing then I'll need to move on to someone who does.. Life is too short to be miserable..
Thanks for letting me rant.. Deepshotone (Chicago)