Meeting for a Tickle-Session....

[Tamia78]

Okay, I have a question.

Do you prefer getting to know a person before meeting them for a tickle-session? Or could you just meet someone after a couple of pms and a few phone calls?

I had a discussion last night about this, and wondered what everyone else's opinion was. Personally, I'd prefer exchanging emails, talking on the phone, things like that. I would like to get to know the person as a friend. If I'm not comfortable with them on the phone, then I'm not going to be comfortable with them in person, and it would be a less-than-perfect tickling experience. I'm not saying that I have to have a romantic interest or anything, I just wanna know that they're a cool person to hang out with, interesting to talk to, and fun to be around. If we can hit it off like that, having a tickle-session with said person would be easy!

Some people can meet others for the purpose of tickling them only. Basically get in, and get out. I couldn't do that. If I did, I wouldn't be surprised to see money on the table after they left. That's what it would feel like to me.

But...that's my opinion. I wanna know everyone else's!

--T

 

[isabeau]

ok i have only met one person from the forum.. dtrell. and i've known him since july. we chat on yahoo almost everyday, have from the start. also i got feedback from people like steph, who had met him on several occasions and vouched for him one hundred percent. to be honest, i think you shouldnt rush into it until you feel really comfortable with the person and feel in your heart you can trust him or her completely. and i knew i could trust dtrell. back in july, he called me and had steph on her phone out in california. a three way call. and after that he would call but not a whole lot because he isnt a phone caller much. but speaking with him almost very day on yahoo, i got to know him very well.

whatever you do Tamia, be careful and i would suggest maybe getting some feedback from others who have met the person. or judge with your heart if you can trust the person implicitly. but if your talking about meeting with someone you have only chatted with in the past week or so, i would say wait and get to know them a bit better. but hon what do i know? lol just my opinion..

isabeau

also dtrell is a fairly good friend of mine, we love or at least i seem to frustrate the heck out of him. lol and he is a mild mannered guy for the most part. but no i wouldnt suggest meeting someone just for tickling without knowing them as a friend first

 

[Ignatz]

For your own protection, dear, PM some of the gals on the forum, longtime members who know many of these guys personally. See which ones they vouch for.

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

ok i have only met one person from the forum.. dtrell. and i've known him since july. we chat on yahoo almost everyday, have from the start. also i got feedback from people like steph, who had met him on several occasions and vouched for him one hundred percent. to be honest, i think you shouldnt rush into it until you feel really comfortable with the person and feel in your heart you can trust him or her completely. and i knew i could trust dtrell. back in july, he called me and had steph on her phone out in california. a three way call. and after that he would call but not a whole lot because he isnt a phone caller much. but speaking with him almost very day on yahoo, i got to know him very well.

whatever you do Tamia, be careful and i would suggest maybe getting some feedback from others who have met the person. or judge with your heart if you can trust the person implicitly. but if your talking about meeting with someone you have only chatted with in the past week or so, i would say wait and get to know them a bit better. but hon what do i know? lol just my opinion..

isabeau

also dtrell is a fairly good friend of mine, we love or at least i seem to frustrate the heck out of him. lol and he is a mild mannered guy for the most part. but no i wouldnt suggest meeting someone just for tickling without knowing them as a friend first

for once I have to agree completely with the little goofball.She makes many valid points.

 

[lk70]

You're right on Tamia. Everyone should do whatever feels right for them. I have told many people that tickling is personal. It may not necessarily be sexual depending on the partner and situation, but to me it is always personal, so I have to genuinely like anyone I'm going to play with. I need to feel comfortable and relaxed in order to have a good time. How long it takes for you to feel comfortable and whether it takes PM, IMs, emails, phone calls or lunch meetings is completely up to you.

 

[maniactickler]

I know pretty quickly if i connect with a woman. so id have no trouble meeting anyone within a short period of time.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Well to be brutally honest. You have to ask yourself, why wouldnt the ler/lee want to get to know you? Are they looking to tickle or be tickled by YOU or are you just a lee or ler to them and it doesn't matter whether you have a name. Ask yourself this, would you allow a person to rub your leg if you didnt know them. I said it before and I'll say it again. Behind every sig is a person and not a fantasy. I wont bother with anyone unless I know them on a friendship level first or at least know someone who knows them.

 

[isabeau]

for once I have to agree completely with the little goofball.She makes many valid points.

actually yes i wouldnt want to meet someone i wasnt friends with first. i mean what on earth do you talk about in between the tickling?

isabeau

 

[crydun]

I prefer to get to know someone first.

I met Smileytickles in 2002. We chatted back and forth for over a year. It was cool

I met Ticklebelly. He was the only guest to show for NWOG 2004

and I recently met ticklecouple: Lady_Sunset and Pro Tickler: We chatted back and forth for a month before we met on Dec. 17th. That night will live in infamy.

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

actually yes i wouldnt want to meet someone i wasnt friends with first. i mean what on earth do you talk about in between the tickling?

isabeau

well you could talk about how short or tall you are.

 

[Aachen1983]

Yeah Tamia, you need to be real careful. As ticklerguy said, behind the words is a person. You really need to get to know them first. What if the guy is some sort of crazed assed rapist or some shit. Just be careful.


(I'm not trying to dissuade you, just warning you)


David

 

[Mastertank1]

What Ticklerguy4u said...

Also, as a looooong time 'ler and dom, there are several things I never expect or even try for on a first meeting, out of respect for the 'lee/sub.
Sex
Bondage
Tickling
Any physical contact at all
If (and only if) the 'lee/sub asks for any of the above, without any prior hint or mention by me, after we have met face to face and before they have indulged in any alcoholic beverage or other mood altering substance of their choice, I will seriously consider making an exception.
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I feel that a willing 'lee/sub is very precious and valuable, and want to treat them with the respect, consideration and dignity they deserve.
Until we progress to the stage of becoming play partners; then it's all out tickle torture!
Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

My motto is: Those who tell little about themselves..has something to hide.

 

[Redmage]

I reckon it'd depend on how I was meeting them. For instance if we knew that we were both planning to be at the same gathering then I might agree to a few PMs and some conversation in person, then play based on no more than that. I've even played at a gathering or party with someone that I had never met or heard of before that evening. But that's a gathering - there are specific rules in place, which simplifies negotiation, and it's an atmosphere where casual and semi-casual play are more acceptable.

If we're talking about a straightforward play session, no strings attached, but in private, then I have done that a few times without a whole lot of preparation. In that case though I still need to have the usual talk about limits and make sure that casual play is what we're both interested in. That has seldom taken less than a few days of back and forth emails, or a few hours of IM, or an hour or so (total) on the phone over the course of a couple of days. In fact I say "seldom" just to cover my bases - I can't recall a time that was the exception to that.

In all cases I treat my 'lee's comfort level as the minimum acceptable standard. There have been a few times when MY comfort level trumped my 'lee's - that is, when I needed more "getting acquainted" time than he or she did - but those times are rare.

Generally speaking I'm not "play oriented" in my dealings with others online. I'm happy to play if and when it comes up but it's almost never my sole reason for contacting anyone. If I'm actively interested in playing with someone I will usually say so early on. I'll mention that just once, and then if s/he returns my interest I figure I'll hear about it soon enough. More often though it starts as a long series of PMs or emails based around some other mutual interest, and then at some point along the way both of us figure out that play would be fun.

This process takes its own course in its own time. So my advice would be to take as much time as you need. If you need to talk yourself into doing anything then that's a good sign that you should reconsider doing it.

 

[ticklerokla]

I think it's up to both parties' comfort level. Kinda going with your gut, too. It depends on the needs and expectations of both people involved I guess. I have had some that we talked about for months, and then some where we met and a week later we had a fun session. And then there was Passive Arts.. I haven't been disappointed yet, and I have gone out of my way to make the ladies' feel at ease and comfortable all the time. Limits and safewords are always uppermost in importance, because if you dont respect boundaries/limits and you go too far you could end up with a really bad situation on your hands. Nobody wants to be the next guy we read about with a fetish getting thrown in jail for being over-zealous. 😎

hope that helps.

 

[Illtcklu]

Okay, I have a question.

Do you prefer getting to know a person before meeting them for a tickle-session? Or could you just meet someone after a couple of pms and a few phone calls?

I had a discussion last night about this, and wondered what everyone else's opinion was. Personally, I'd prefer exchanging emails, talking on the phone, things like that. I would like to get to know the person as a friend. If I'm not comfortable with them on the phone, then I'm not going to be comfortable with them in person, and it would be a less-than-perfect tickling experience. I'm not saying that I have to have a romantic interest or anything, I just wanna know that they're a cool person to hang out with, interesting to talk to, and fun to be around. If we can hit it off like that, having a tickle-session with said person would be easy!

Some people can meet others for the purpose of tickling them only. Basically get in, and get out. I couldn't do that. If I did, I wouldn't be surprised to see money on the table after they left. That's what it would feel like to me.

But...that's my opinion. I wanna know everyone else's!

--T

I agree 100% Tamia! You are a smart girl!!!!

 

[kurchatovium]

Tamia often people just do a "meet and greet" when meeting for first time. Which is simply the two people meeting and talking. There is no "activity" planned at all. This way both parties can get a better feel if they want to play together. Talking on the phone, emails and such is also a very good ideal as well and should be done before the "meet and greet" IMHO.

 

[Mastertank1]

Yeah!

Tamia often people just do a "meet and greet" when meeting for first time. Which is simply the two people meeting and talking. There is no "activity" planned at all. This way both parties can get a better feel if they want to play together. Talking on the phone, emails and such is also a very good ideal as well and should be done before the "meet and greet" IMHO.

Yes! What Kurch said! Absolutely!
Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[terorizer]

I can't out and out say what my preference is, because I've never met up with someone for a tickle session. A few times it's occurred, but then again, it was someone I'd known for weeks or months and we were quite familiar with each other.

That's said, I agree it is definitely about comfort. I don't have a benchmark in terms of time or type of contact for how that comfor is achieved though... you just know when it happens, whether one phone call or 100. I've been face to face with some and still not felt connected enough to tickle them.

It's actually easier for me to hug someone I hardly know than tickle them. Not that hugging isn't a personal thing for me, but tickling is way more connected to how I feel for YOU; if you will, it's an even more special form of affection, or way to show genuine caring.

 

[Tamia78]

Omg, guys!!!! I come home from work and I get all these responses!!! Thanks sooo much for all ya'lls opinions, I've read through them and you all have given me something to think about. I wish someday I can meet each and every one of you.

--T

 

[Italian_Touch]

Many sound replies!
Expecially, I 100% agree with isabeau, Mastertank1 and Redmage.

Mastertank1 pointed out some of the basics of the D/S etiquette. If somebody is pushing for something different than that (as well as failing to set limits, safewords, etc.), you better get VERY suspicious about the intentions or the experience of the person in front of you. In both cases you don't want to face the possible consequences.

Personally, I like an intense but brief chatting/mailing before a session. Whenever possible, meeting in person in a casual environment and speaking face to face is my gold standard. Don't like phone calls so much for a possible language barrier... Also, extenuating months of continous internet chat are very good because you build a friendship but I do not think they are essential for just a tickling session. It probably depends by the level of confidence you can reach with the other person, but, personally, I think that after few contacts you can get a pretty much good overall idea of how you are talking with (always being cautious, though), and if you like him/her or not (Italian proverb: you shouldn't wait for the third bowl to realize you are eating rice (you can change "rice" with something more gross...)).

Getting to know the personality of the person you would like to meet is essential and if you do not feel it right in your guts so just do not do it.

Even if you feel that everything is right, meeting people who you actually never met before (as in internet) is, of course, always risky. Expecially if you get tied up... One thing that you might want to arrange when meeting somebody for the first time (actually, it should be done EVERY time, since when a deep trust is developed) is a safety net. Let somebody know exactely who you are meeting, where and when (there are ways to deal with the required privacy of the other party). Your safety net should have - or have access to - the information about the identification of the person you are meeting (still, there are ways to protect the privacy). Then fix phone calls at pre-arranged times. It is essential that the other party knows that you are enforcing a safety net. You should actually ask the other party to do the same. It is important that you do not miss to call... of course 🙂 Your safety net should be aware that if you miss a call, somehting BAD is happening and should be ready to take proper actions.

Said that, I would not be daunted by the fear of mad people and rapists (and so on) hiding behind a nickname more than I would with anyone else I do not know well in real life...

Honestly, in a single case I arranged a tickling session as a lee in just two emails and a phone call (all in the very same night) with somebody unknown, trusting internet feedbacks and based just on my impressions. It was a great experience and everything went incredibly fine but I know I hit the jackpot... I would not suggest to do that.