Meeting someone online in person.

[Perduabo]

So, with the advent of all the "dating" themed threads around here, I thought I would throw my hat into the ring by asking the advice of you good people so that I may pass it along to a good, if somewhat naive friend of mine.

He is a subscriber to one of those online dating sites, which seem to me to not offer any real substance, other than a "fast fuck." If that's what they are looking for, than more power to 'em, but I know my friend wants a more substantial relationship.

He eventually gets an email from a prospective date and they begin chatting. He tells me that they set a coffee date for sometime next week, date as to be determined by schedules.

Now, I think he made a good start by agreeing to meet in public for the initial date, but have any of you good people ever been on a "online turned 'real' dating experience?" I personally have not so can offer this guy no further advice than what he already took.

Anything you folks can think of that may differ from a normal date that he should proceed with or avoid would be helpful.

And yes, I know I may seem overtly concerned, but this friend is like family to me and I watch out for my friends.

Thanks in advance, apologies if I wasn't quite articulate.

 

[maniactickler]

Not much to offer here. just be yourself, have fun, and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[slacker2114]

Public meeting is a good start, naturally. Other than not giving up his social security number or credit card info, I would think it should proceed like a normal date. After all, it's nothing more than two people meeting for a date. A modern age blind date, if you will.

However, if it'd make you and your friend feel better, maybe set it up for him to contact you at different intervals to let you know everything's cool. I imagine if his date is smart, they'd be doing the same thing. But tell him not to make it obvious.

 

[kurchatovium]

Most of my dates came from the workplace. Never tried a online dating service. I would say though a "Meet and Greet" is a good start and it should be just that. Talk and chat get to know each other then if he wants too they can set up another date. I would say the first few dates should be chatting before anyone "hits the matress" 😉 this ensures that other person really is interested in a relationship and not just quick sex. Just my thoughts. Good luck to your friend. 🙂

 

[Aimee]

woo .. meeting people off the internet ... i've done that .. hmm .. 8 maybe 9 times total ... it's pretty fun. you gotta be careful. I've made my mistakes ... but thats a whole other story ...

meet for coffee. GOOD IDEA! thats probably the best way ... you know instead of just getting in their car like i do ... make sure he has his cell phone .. make sure someone knows where he is .. you know the usual stuff. it's fun though .. to see what people look like in real life.

theres nothing wrong with it if your intentions are good, you talk for more than a week before meeting [meaning a WHILE ...], and you are safe about it. i see no problem there.

 

[CurtWild]

i have a tough time meeting people online....

i'm running out of room for the bodies....

 

[..Glamorous..]

I met my husband briefly in 9th grade before he switched schools and never talked to him till a few years later when I was browsing Myspace and added him for the hell of it (Not realizing I already met him once before). We started talking, Considered ourselves dating after some time, got together and hung out once at one of his port calls (he was in the Coast Guard at the time) and I moved in with him after 4 months of dating. After about 6 months of dating we realized we had met awhile back. We have been married for almost 2 years and together for nearly 3. Not sure if it is the same thing, but I technically found my husband through myspace lol.

So yeah, I think it works, it's harder but it does. I actually preferred it LOL.

 

[MrMacphisto]

All I know is that the one time I actually met a girl who I'd known from the internet, I met up with her at a party and got drunk as shit. She was smashed too, so I guess neither of us were sober enough for it to be a normal date. It was pretty fun though (of what I can remember).

I guess the only advice I can glean from this is... alcohol is a great social lubricant.

 

[kis123]

I am in the beginnings of a third relationship that started out online. First gentleman is deceased and the second one....I can best describe as brain-dead!

I've done all right by it, but now I'm starting to navigate better.

My best advice to give you is that folks are online for a reason. They could be busy professionals who don't have time or everyday folks who tired of the bar scene. Or, they could be emotionally unavailable social misfits who are pretty much so dysfunctional that online is the only way anyone would give them the time of day! In other words, caveat emptor (sp) rules the day!

Be careful, start slowly, and resist the physical urges that overwhelm us when we've been alone for awhile. Get to know that person just as you would if you met him/her at the local grocery store or in person.

That is unless you met them at OnlineBootyCall.com! Yes it's a real site and someone who I WAS talking to actually emailed me an invite to join the site. Let's just say I hope he isn't holding his breath before he ever hears from me again..........

 

[MasterPaladin]

kis123 if your first is real dead and the second is brain dead I would not want to be your 3rd LMAO

 

[kis123]

kis123 if your first is real dead and the second is brain dead I would not want to be your 3rd LMAO

Well, I just got off the phone with him and I left him alive!😀

He actually seems emotionally functional; we might have a chance!

Seriously, the first one passed away suddenly last May; I didn't find out until July so that really hurt. We didn't work out as lovers but he was one of the best friends I ever had.

The second one.....well I'm still trying to figure it out because I've never been through that before and certainly won't ever again. This third one.....me likes a lot. Hopefully the third time will be the charm!

 

[MasterPaladin]

I was joking but I wish you all the luck in the world that it works out for you

 

[kis123]

I was joking but I wish you all the luck in the world that it works out for you

I know--I guess it did look funny now that you mention it.

Come here you.........

 

[sasaxrah]

I like the blind date analogy. It's pretty accurate. You know some stuff about the person you're meeting from the internet, but you don't really know them.

My only advice is to be honest online. No one wants to feel like they are meeting up with someone who really misrepresented themselves.

 

[Perduabo]

Thank you my friends 🙂

Just spoke to him this morning and let him know some of the bullet points. Hopefully things go well for them, been looking for someone else to double with (does that sound selfish or what lol)

 

[Musicroxmysox]

I'm a fan of the whole online dating thing. Like anything else just be careful and honest and it will all work out well.

Like any other type of dating you will meet people you mix with and others you don't.

 

[chicago]

This is my advice:

It's great that he chose to have a coffee date, that way they can get to know each other over coffee and if it's going well proceed from there (maybe catch a movie) and if not, it will likely be over soon and they can go their separate ways. It's also great that he chose a public place in case she winds up being crazy.

Those websites are all different. If it's a free website, you rarely know who you're talking to or if they are who they say they are. With a pay site, people are more determined and committed to finding someone special and so you're more likely to find that people are honest in their profiles.

That said, you always have to be careful online, especially when meeting in person for the first time. Like I said, coffee is great for a first date because you can end things quickly if things go awry or casually continue the date if it works out.

Hope this helps.