more bandit tales
In what I think will be a successful attempt at procrastinating work I really need to do, I'd like to relate my other notable mile-high tales.
The next one occured on my flight back from that legendary party NEST 2K. I live in Los Angeles but travel regularly to the east coast, so my plane rides are always 5 to 6 hours.
Again, the flight wasn't too crowded. I sat in in the left bank of seats, directly behind a woman who had three in a row all by herself. She sat in the aisle seat.
"Excuse me," I said, now standing beside her. "Do you mind if I grab THAT seat? My seat's behind you but I'm between windows. I'd love to have one to look out of."
"Sure, be my guest."
I settled in. "Thanks. I don't mean to foil any stretching-out plans you might have had. If you were going to, still feel free, I know some reflexology." I said this last part not looking at her, instead tending to my books and whatever. It was a carefully placed throw-away.
This was as the plane was taxi-ing (how the hell do you write that word?). We took off. We leveled out in the air. She turned to me warmheartedly. "So what's this about reflexology?"
And there was much rejoicing.
She was a professional-looking woman, approaching her 50's. She had a sparkle in her eye and a carpe-diem-itude. I liked her.
Soon enough she was offering her nyloned foot to experience some first-hand reflexology. I demonstrated certain real pressure points and explained what they are. "Here is for headaches. Here is for stomach ailments. This is your pancreas..." She was fascinated. Then I came out with a line I've used more than once during that period (you're going to steal this, I know you are): "And here's the pressure point for depression..."
I tickled. All over, lightly.
She flexed an fisted her foot, but did not pull it away. She laughed as though she were both ticklish and amused that she was ticklish. Polite, jovial, keeping eye contact with me the whole time, which is a great thing.
This let the conversation move to the topic of tickling. It's good for you, I proposed. Let yourself laugh, I suggested. We don't do this often enough as adults, I speculated. She kept the attitude of someone who was at a seminar, drinking it in.
Eventually, when it pushed the envelope of getting old, I released both the topic and her foot. I had to be strategic, after all.
I let time pass. Then, when it was getting close to the end of the flight, I confidently insisted that I need to "balance her out" by massaging and tickling the other foot. She readily agreed.
I tickled and kept her on the edge for a good amount of time, releasing her only when the pilot was preparing to land.
As Jerri Blank says... "Good tiiiimes!"
I won't wait to post the third notable mile-high tickle. This is a quick one. I was flying with my girlfriend at the time (I'm single now -- hello. Cute, single, ticklish, Los Angeles girl, I'm talking to you. Single now. Hello.). We had a middle aisle to ourselves. Behind us in the left bank of seats was a hippie couple. Bearded, dirty-looking Yoga-type of guy, just a little older than me, and a cute Yoga-looking brunette girl, about my age. I want to say they looked like Sikhs, but I'm not sure about that.
My girlfriend was all about the tickling and the feet. It's what had brought us together, and it's an area we never neglected for more than 24 hours. We were both reading our separate books. She stretched out and placed her bare feet in my lap. I rubbed and tickled.
"Mmm, that looks good," I heard the hippie girl say. I turned my head, and saw that she was gesturing to our foot action. The guy looked up from his reading, saw what she was talking about, and said, "Put 'em here," patting his lap.
She contorted in such a way to get her bare feet up on her man's lap, and he started massaging. His technique was mechanical, disinterested. (Some guys don't have a clue, huh?)
Eventually she took her feet away and stretched them out in front of her, placing them on the headrest of the empty seat in front of her.
I made my move. I knew it was going to be a super-short one, but it was a somewhat exciting prospect anyway. I'd have to use the force to maneuver my hands just right.
I stood up. I stepped out into the aisle, right next to her bare feet. I leaned in to say anything to my girlfriend. I blindly reached out my hands to casually place them on the seat top next to me, and... ta dah!
My second and third fingers touched a bare foot in the center of the sole. She squealed. I dug in for a split second, then looked around "surprised."
The woman was looking right at me with an open-mouthed smile. I apologized, and she said it was okay. Then she turned to her man and said, "That was funny!" He looked up from his reading again, obviously too distracted to hear what she was saying. She decided not to explain. I walked away.
When I came back, I told my girlfriend and tickled her feet with renewed gusto. Being a tickling fan herself, she would often get into the tickling scenarios with me, so she appreciated it, and flirted with me even more with her feet.
And we flew off into the sunset, happy and laughing.
And that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
- Boomtown