My Best Friend's Girl

[hockeygolf13]

I think what OP did was natural. His best friend payed no attention to her all night and they had not been together long. The girl came onto him because she felt lonely and ignored and he was drunk and high so his judgment was thrown off. Still, he should man up and tell him because you can't lie to your best friend and he should know that his girl was making a move on his best friend. Hearing it from you is a hell of a lot better than hearing it from anyone else.

 

[rhiannon]

Don't you find that a tad bit strange?

I actually find the whole story totally strange! Sounds like something that would happen in a weird dream, but not in reality. The OP should double-check if he was just having a bad trip or if it actually really happened. 🙂

 

[ChicagoDavid]

Wow, I just read this whole thread at once, and there is so much to comment on!

But I’ll limit myself to new thoughts.

1. Since so many people are tweaking poor Rhiannon for thinking that there is something bad about a guy fooling around with his best friend’s girl, and at the best friend’s home no less, or suggesting that such a thought would be limited to non-Americans, I guess I’ll just have to join in and tweak her for using the term “pussy” to describe OP if he takes the less courageous approach. Hey, shouldn’t we stop using that term in a negative way? 🙂

2. To OP, I really have to say that while many people are doing impressive intellectual cartwheels to explain why this wasn’t so bad, come on, we all know that this was not a good idea. Ok, maybe I broke my own rule and shared what is not a new thought.

3. However, the fact that it wasn’t a good idea does not necessarily mean that telling the friend IS a good idea. Maybe the best approach is for OP to keep this to himself, and vow to be a better friend going forward. Confessing feels good. It takes a load off of the confessor’s mind. But is the friend really better off knowing about this? And even if we assume that the friend finding out is inevitable (and I have my doubts about that), does hearing it from his best friend make it any better? To me, the fact is the same, and how I found out is far less important.

 

[FLBowler]

Tell him. He is your best friend, and this was porb not the first time she had done something like that. You made a mistake, but friends come first

 

[rhiannon]

Hey, shouldn’t we stop using that term in a negative way?

Don't expect me to be politically correct, I'm not!! 🙂

And even if we assume that the friend finding out is inevitable (and I have my doubts about that), does hearing it from his best friend make it any better?

Yes...yes, it does very much so! Just imagine it: what looks better, your best friend coming to you confessing, apologizing, ready to take everything that you might dish out for his mistake, or you finding around later from someone else - knowing your best friend was trying to hide this shit from you and acting like nothing had happened?

 

[Barney Stubble]

Coldneck, don't feel bad. You did exactly what many of us would have done in your shoes. If Jeremy was married to Fabiola, then I might understand all the judgemental self-righteous pants-wetting I've seen in this thread. But I'm convinced that most reasonable people would agree that you deserve a high five instead.

Whatever you do, do not tell Jeremy what happened. He might just "foam at the mouth." That would really "suck." Best to just let the whole thing "blow" over.

 

[coldneck]

UPDATE

I first wanna say thanks for all the advice. It was all over the place but there were many good points raised.
OK, I know I left out some details in my OP, like how long I've known him/her and there's a lot of random speculation, but none of that's really all that important to me right now.
What is important is that Jeremy wants to "get together for a beer and catch the baseball game." Tomorrow.

Now it might not be a big deal, but then again ...

I was thinking about my so-called clean getaway, and although I'm almost positive no one saw me, I'm almost positive Jeremy has his place littered with video cameras, at least on the perimeter of his house and probably more.
Two worst-case scenarios here:
If he has video of me and Fab going into that guest house, and then me leaving alone 2-3 hours later, well I've got some explaining to do, and I plan on working one a good one tonight.
If he has video of me and Fab inside the guest house, then this might be my last post for a while.

Oh, and to those of you rednecks who are saying, "Man Up! Don't be a pussy! Take yer beatin' 'n like it!" you have obviously never met Jeremy.
This guy drinks gasoline and shits fire. He has worked in steel construction all his life (just like his bad ass old man), started at the bottom and worked his way up.
In his spare time he lifts weights, works on cars, and pounds the shit out of a heavy bag in his garage.
He's also got one helluva temper. I've know some pretty big construction guys; foreman, laborers, and subcontractors who are fucking scared to death of him.
Even though we've been friends since high school, when it comes to his girlfriends, he doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

So I don't really see a scenario of me walking into Hooter's tomorrow night and going, "Hey, Jeremy! That girlfriend of yours give a pretty mean blowjob, right buddy?!"
They say confession is good for the soul, but I'm betting it would land my body in the emergency room.

At least if we're in a public place maybe I have some witnesses if he turns green, tears off his shirt and starts raging.

 

[Angel_2]

Coldneck, you have to tell your friend what happened. Its the right thing to do, your friend finding out what happened any other way then from you is the worst case scenario. Keeping this type of situation from your friend will only end worse then if you tell him yourself. This should of never happened but it did and can't be undone. Good Luck Man

 

[stockytickler]

You have to leave town.

 

[rhiannon]

Oh, and to those of you rednecks who are saying, "Man Up! Don't be a pussy! Take yer beatin' 'n like it!" you have obviously never met Jeremy.
This guy drinks gasoline and shits fire. He has worked in steel construction all his life (just like his bad ass old man), started at the bottom and worked his way up.
In his spare time he lifts weights, works on cars, and pounds the shit out of a heavy bag in his garage.
He's also got one helluva temper. I've know some pretty big construction guys; foreman, laborers, and subcontractors who are fucking scared to death of him.
Even though we've been friends since high school, when it comes to his girlfriends, he doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

And with all that on your mind, including CAMERAS on his ground, you STILL mess around with his girlfriend? Man - that is just STUPID!

 

[stockytickler]

That part was clearly in hindsight, rhi. At the time, he was a little distracted by being drunk and high and the drop dead gorgeous Latina letting him tickle her, calling him her boyfriend and blowing him. Which -- try to understand this -- is a little distracting. :\

 

[rhiannon]

Well, stockytickler, what can I say? Is it really so hard for a guy to let the brain have power over the dick? And if you can't use it while drunk, well - don't drink! I've been drinking before and I don't have STDs or a bunch of freaking kids running around here or lost any girlfriends because I was making out with their partners!

 

[stockytickler]

Clearly it was in this case, and most of us don't have Fabiola pawing at us all night either.

 

[rhiannon]

Okay, here he is, knowing his best friend....so what should he have done? Told his best friend's GF to leave him alone from the get-go, brought as much space as possible between him and her and entertain himself with the strippers! But no - he allows her to stay around and flirt with him!

I really don't have the slightest bit of understanding for that, sorry!

There's a guy doing something wrong, clearly knowing his best friend's views on things like that, still doing it, and what do we get here? All kinds of excuses! Oh, but he was drunk. Oh, but he was stoned. Oh, but this girl was so drop dead gorgeous! Those are excuses, not reasons!

Guys - start actually BEING men and admit that he brought himself in this situation, with open eyes, despite knowing all the circumstances! HE fucked up. Bad. And he certainly doesn't, as some people have said here, deserve high five for it! Seriously, what kind of people are around here!?

 

[Canadian_Eh]

I completely agree with Rhiannon in this case. I could be WAY off track here, but something tells me that if these guys put themselves in the friend's shoes and it was THEIR girl that their bestfriend cheated with, i'm guessing they wouldn't be giving them a pat on the back.

For me, sex is sex, and cheating is cheating. I guess it would really depend on the couple themselves as to whether it was considered cheating, if it wasn't, you don't have anything to worry about. That being said, chances are if you feel guilty it's cause you know what you did was wrong. I think own up to it. Yes, obviously he's going to be pissed at you, but maybe he'll realise that he actually deserves better than being with someone who's that quick to give herself to other people. Just a thought.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I think you should man up and tell your friend the truth. I mean you got drunk, high and stuff like that makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. Also, it had been said, that she came onto you. He deserves to know the truth about the true nature of his girlfriend because she's partly responsible for what happened. Interesting cool story, though.

 

[Speedbump]

Never let it be said that this wasn't a story for the ages, no matter the outcome.

 

[rhiannon]

Never let it be said that this wasn't a story for the ages, no matter the outcome.

I'm sure that's going to keep him cheery in his full-body-cast! 😀

 

[giggle-maker]

Oh, and to those of you rednecks who are saying, "Man Up! Don't be a pussy! Take yer beatin' 'n like it!" you have obviously never met Jeremy.
This guy drinks gasoline and shits fire. He has worked in steel construction all his life (just like his bad ass old man), started at the bottom and worked his way up.
In his spare time he lifts weights, works on cars, and pounds the shit out of a heavy bag in his garage.
He's also got one helluva temper. I've know some pretty big construction guys; foreman, laborers, and subcontractors who are fucking scared to death of him.
Even though we've been friends since high school, when it comes to his girlfriends, he doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

And with all that on your mind, including CAMERAS on his ground, you STILL mess around with his girlfriend? Man - that is just STUPID!

Not quite sure what to make of this. Did you know before hand that there were cameras all over the place? This whole thing is a "big burlap sack of WTF"

 

[rhiannon]

Did you know before hand that there were cameras all over the place?

It sounds like he is not absolutely sure about it, just thinks that the guy has cameras.....still....either the whole stuff is just made up BS, or...well, I already said it.

 

[Barney Stubble]

Coldneck, I can feel your anxiety, pal. But now is not the time to panic. Again, I would urge you in the strongest terms to NOT tell Jeremy what happened. First, you're not even certain that there are video cameras. Second, even if there are video cameras, it was a party! I'm thinking that you Fabula were probably only one of several couples to wander in that guest house for a quick snarlin. Unless he got robbed or vandalized, he's got no reason comb through all that footage. Third, those home surveillance cameras are not all they're cracked up to be. Most are not equipped with microphones. I'm thinking it was probably dark in that guest house. Even if he sees you two, chances are he's just going to assume it's another random couple.

As for these Monday-morning armchair quarterbacks telling you what you shouldn't have done? Ignore them completely. They are of zero use to you right now. All they are doing is parading their own self-righteousness. Oh, I would never do that because I'm a "good" person! They are focusing on the past while you need to focus on the immediate future.

Jeremy has asked you to meet with him, so go ahead and meet with him. Talk about sports, rock and roll, the Merovingian, whatever. Just don't bring up the party, and especially do not bring up Fabiana. Rewrite the history in your own mind. It never happened. Even if it seems like Jeremy is subtly dropping hints and clues that he knows what happened and is just toying with you, maintain your cool. Act and look puzzled, because IT NEVER HAPPENED! If he accuses you outrightly, ask him if he's lost his fucking mind, and deny deny deny.

You can pull through this, man.

 

[Mystic Monk]

My (former) best friend's wife has a foot and tickling fetish, which he completely ignores her on both accounts. When complaining to me about his "problem" I told him to man up and tickle her. Didn't listen to me. She joked around a lot that if he ever died, we'd end up together. When she noticed I looked at her feet a lot, she made sure to touch them on my leg every time she sat on the couch next to me. Great feet too. When they asked me to move in with them, I agreed, excited to know where this would eventually end up. Two weeks before I did move in with them, I backed out of the deal. When he asked me why, I told him because his wife's feet drove me crazy. He appreciated my honesty, but we're barely friends at all anymore, despite my attempts to remain friends. I never hear from him unless I call him even though I *WAS* being his friend. Still, despite losing my best friend over something that never happened, I'm much happier now than I was when betraying my friend was on the schedule. Your conscious is a very real thing and it's what keeps you from feeling hollow. I say tell him, and if fear for your life is what's keeping you from doing so, I gotta say, keeping a clear conscious is the best way to not fear death and death comes to us all.

"An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it."

 

[ChicagoDavid]

Hey, Coldneck, what happened when you saw your friend yesterday? After all the drama in all these responses, please let us know! (And let us know that you’re ok.)

 

[rhiannon]

"An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it."

Very well said!

Coldneck, you really need to tell him if he doesn't know alread. I mean, come on - when he asked to meet, you were already afraid it was because of what happened. Whenever he calls you know,, whenever someone knocks on the door, you'll be scared shitless.

 

[Coup de Grace]

This would have been a great story if she were single, but since she's your friend's squeeze, this kind of makes you a douche. There are some things you just don't do and messing with your friend's lady is at the top of the list. Right when she started to get flirty is when you should have nipped that shit in the bud.

I've had a friend's lady get all flirty with me before and I cut it off before it got started. She was pretty damn hot and if we were both single, it's fair game, but there's a "Bro Code" for this.

Since you can't go back in time, my advice would be to pretend that it never happened and disavow all knowledge of said events. You were drunk and lit off your ass and remember nothing... and if approached about it, deny, deny, deny. That said, know you have an ass-kicking coming.