My boyfriend told me he doesn't like to be tickled

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I have been going out with Jon since November and sometime early in our relationship I told him that I like being tickled. He said that he didn't like being tickled. I've thought about how I could get him into liking tickling, I think it would be best in baby steps. The most important way I think is to tell him that tickling turns me on sexually so hopefully he'll tickle me and soon maybe he'll like being tickled. I am not just saying it, it really does!


Any other suggestions? Look forward to your replies.

 

[amkes]

try slow sensual tickles on him while you to play around. it should be a good start and then have him tickle you hard or how ever you like it to show him how much it turns you on. hopefully those two should be a good start to introduce him into tickling. and then every so often give him light tickles and nuzzle up next to him.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Thank you amkes for your advice! I will definitely keep that in mind.

 

[kurchatovium]

Perhaps you can find out what it is he does not like about it.

Is it a loss of control issue?

Did he have a really bad experience?

Is it the sensation itself he does not like?

I think once you know what it is he hates about it you can discuss things and take it from there. There is a possibility though he just does not like it and you will have to deal with that.

Hope this helps.

 

[leeboy]

Dump him.

 

[Mitchell]

Jen, I have a couple of questions. You said "Maybe he'll tickle you, and get to like it". Have you discussed with him how important tickling is to you, and that you like being tickled, and want to in return tickle him? I think openness and honesty is most important. If you do this, hopefully it will help.

This brings me to the next question: You said: "He doesnt like being tickled". In all honesty, there are some people who arent into this lifestyle, who just dont like to be tickled. Would you be happy if you could agree with him where he would tickle you as a strict ler, and you wouldnt tickle him back? That's a scenario that may work, for someone who doesnt like being tickled, but yet who you want to tickle you.

My advice: Talk to him, and "Put everything on the table" so to say. Discuss with him how you feel about tickling as both the lee and the ler, and see what his reaction is. Hopefully, you can come to some kind of agreement with him, whether it is just with him as a complete ler who will only tickle you, and not get tickled by you, or whether he does agree to switch and be both a ler and lee.

Good Luck. I hope you can come to a workable solution with him.

Mitch

 

[WorkInProgress]

Just be aware, some people really freak out when they hear about this kind of thing. But, that said, it seems to me that if the relationship has possibilities you're eventually going to have to have that talk. A big part of it is going to hinge on how strong the emotional aspects of the relationship are.

 

[chicago]

Most people don't enjoy being tickled. That's just a fact. You may have a hard time getting him to put up with being tickled, let alone enjoy it.

However, I find most guys are willing to do almost anything to sexually please their female, so tickling you may not be as hard.

 

[FeatherFeet]

dont try to manipulate him into liking it. be straightfoward and honest with him about the whole thing.

if he loves you, he will try to make you happy.
and if you love him, you will respect his boundaries as well.

 

[Cavum]

Thank you amkes for your advice! I will definitely keep that in mind.

Thats indeed a very good advice. Start easy. Maby combine some bondage with it as well. Use it as a foreplay. Say for example that you tie him to the bead spreadeagled and then blindfold him. Then use alot of time to tease him so he really gets in the mood. Let your fingers slide slowly down his sides and end up by his "private area". Continue doing this all over his body and just let him understand tickling can be very exciting.

I am a BDSMer and have many friends that also is into BDSM. All of us being open about it and have talked with "vanilla" people allways get the same thing back from vanilla guys. They love the taught of a girl doing what she want to them. If this is the case here as well, then you can get more "ruffer". Say for example that you have him tied as mentioned above and blindfolded. Now it gets a bit dirty You get him really turned on and then maby jerk him a little or maby suck him and then suddently just stop. Being a guy myself I KNOW that he then would problaby beg for more. Then you could for example say "I will continue, but only after you go trough 2min of tickling". Hopefully at this point he will do about anything to get pleasured more, so he will problaby say yes. After the 2min of tickling (start slow ) then reward him for being such a good boy. But don't let him cum yet. Say you maby after about 5min of slow pleasure then say "ok now you have to get 5min of tickling before you get more". The rest of the story I guess you understand.

Maby it's worth a try?
If this is a sucsess, then just keep on adding more and more time and I would guess he will start enjoying the sensation of tickling since he will then compare it to something REALLY good.

Good luck girlie

 

[ShadowLight]

wierd

Jen, it's funny you brought that up. Just this week my girlfriend told me she hates tickling. She said she hates it when I do it to her, and doesn't like doing it to me, but that she would because she knows it turns me on. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I can't see myself staying with someone who has such a negative reaction to such a huge part of my sexuality. It says a lot about someones personality to just belittle something because it doesn't suit their needs. Relationships are a two way street.
So, for the time being, I'm going to ride the situation out. I can understand if being tickled bothers her, so I'll respect that, even if I don't like it. But if she won't tickle me, or continues complaining, I'm planning on going my separate way.
I can't lie, I've been a mess this week. I almost started a similar thread to get some advice myself. I hope that whatever you do is for your best.

 

[Cavum]

Jen, it's funny you brought that up. Just this week my girlfriend told me she hates tickling. She said she hates it when I do it to her, and doesn't like doing it to me, but that she would because she knows it turns me on. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I can't see myself staying with someone who has such a negative reaction to such a huge part of my sexuality. It says a lot about someones personality to just belittle something because it doesn't suit their needs. Relationships are a two way street.
So, for the time being, I'm going to ride the situation out. I can understand if being tickled bothers her, so I'll respect that, even if I don't like it. But if she won't tickle me, or continues complaining, I'm planning on going my separate way.
I can't lie, I've been a mess this week. I almost started a similar thread to get some advice myself. I hope that whatever you do is for your best.

Try out the thing I wrote above your post.
It can work both ways. I played with a girl who hated being tickled a long time ago, and by just exploiting her "hornyness" it turned out pretty good. The trick is to just make the other part compare the thing he/she don't like with something very good. Good luck to you to btw

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

I hate being whipped across my buttocks with a leather strap. If I meet a woman who is into doing that, no amount of trying to please her is going to get me into this. The thing is because we are all so into Tickling we forget how unpleasant it is for non-believers. If you doubt that, log onto some of the hardcore S&M chatrooms and state that you are into Tickling, and prepare to be roasted as a sick sadistic bastard by all the bottoms.

As for your boyfriend if the guy has other qualities there is no reason why you can't be friends with him. However as tickling is a large part of yours and mine sexuality (which is why we are all on this forum), then you have to accept/explain that a more intimate long term relationship is not going to work.

 

[scorpionldr]

i'm not going to tell you to give up, like I have before. But I will just say: START VERY SMALL.
my ex may have been a shitty gf, but if there was one thing we understood, it was I was the main ler, she liked being the main lee, but we'd allow of crossing lines here and there. For instance, not being that ticklish of a guy (and still albeit not liking it) I sort of liked nipple tickling and "head" tickling....just me. at points it may not have been the best, but I still dealt with it. soo.......i donno, just try and make it seem like your trying to jump his bones and keep him in a constant state of arousal in all the places he doesn't like......some people aren't into that.

 

[QBWeaver]

Hi Jen,

I hope you are able to get this resolved. The key thing is communication. Be sure you are very clear with him on what you want AND be sure you truly understand his needs and wants as well.

BUT...
There are some people who just truly don't like being tickled no matter what and no matter of persuasion or communication will ever stop that.

You may need to start thinking about putting space between you and "Jon" and move on. It sounds like this is something you truly need in your relationship and it sounds like maybe he's just not the right guy for you. There are lots and lots of guys who are into being a Lee and a Ler. Find someone who is a better match with your needs so you are not limited in your relationship.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

A lot of GREAT advice here and thanks for it so far. By the way QB, you don't need to put my boyfriend's name in quotes because that's his real name Jon, lol. Anyway in response to someone who suggested earlier that I dump him, I don't want to do that, I love him too much. I think that he's the kind of guy who might like tickling if I try to get him to like it in baby steps.

Well, if anything I think if I tell him that I enjoy tickling and it turns me on, that he'll be glad to tickle me.

 

[tickmankyle1]

just be honest on what you want or what gets you going and it should do wonders good luck later tickmankyle1

 

[Mostly Harmless]

I have been going out with Jon since November and sometime early in our relationship I told him that I like being tickled. He said that he didn't like being tickled.
I've thought about how I could get him into liking tickling.

Is it so important for you?
Since he doesn't like the 'lee side, and you're a "lee/ler" pair - I'd suggest you to exploit that for a while...

 

[master_d_68]

Lightly tickle him right before he orgasms, that way you can subconciously get him into it, especially if it gives him a boost in his orgasms.

 

[QBWeaver]

TickleJen said: "A lot of GREAT advice here and thanks for it so far. By the way QB, you don't need to put my boyfriend's name in quotes because that's his real name Jon, lol. Anyway in response to someone who suggested earlier that I dump him, I don't want to do that, I love him too much. I think that he's the kind of guy who might like tickling if I try to get him to like it in baby steps.

Well, if anything I think if I tell him that I enjoy tickling and it turns me on, that he'll be glad to tickle me. "


Maybe I'm confused! I thought he was already tickling you. I thought what you wanted was to be able to tickle him back.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

TickleJen said: "A lot of GREAT advice here and thanks for it so far. By the way QB, you don't need to put my boyfriend's name in quotes because that's his real name Jon, lol. Anyway in response to someone who suggested earlier that I dump him, I don't want to do that, I love him too much. I think that he's the kind of guy who might like tickling if I try to get him to like it in baby steps.

Well, if anything I think if I tell him that I enjoy tickling and it turns me on, that he'll be glad to tickle me. "


Maybe I'm confused! I thought he was already tickling you. I thought what you wanted was to be able to tickle him back.

I will clear this up for you QB. He hasn't tickled me nor have I tickled him yet but I will try to get him to tickle me by telling him that tickling turns me on. I hope then when he notices how much I enjoy it that maybe he'll eventually come to like being tickled himself. Hope that makes sense.

 

[allabouttamaki]

Dump him.

LOL

Lets not be hasty. However, all being said I think you should face facts! Its one of those complicated situations where you have to choose one route or another.

 

[kick]

This worked on me!

Just be aware, some people really freak out when they hear about this kind of thing. But, that said, it seems to me that if the relationship has possibilities you're eventually going to have to have that talk. A big part of it is going to hinge on how strong the emotional aspects of the relationship are.

I did not like to be tickeled and I did not like to tickle her. I told her it was
childish. And that was it. because I am the boss. [yeah, or so I thought.]
I sometimes like to put her panties on during fore-play. It really turns me on.
And my staff pushes out against the nylon fabric. Then I feel invincible and
she knew it. Next time we were fooling around she would not let me have any panties. I pleaded and she said no it was immature and childish. The
wind-up is she now has me dressed in a garteer belt, stockings, heels and
panties and tickling me all over and I love it. I tickle her all the time when
she wants it and sometimes just as a slight show of affection.

 

[jj82277]

I did not like to be tickeled and I did not like to tickle her. I told her it was
childish. And that was it. because I am the boss. [yeah, or so I thought.]
I sometimes like to put her panties on during fore-play. It really turns me on.
And my staff pushes out against the nylon fabric. Then I feel invincible and
she knew it. Next time we were fooling around she would not let me have any panties. I pleaded and she said no it was immature and childish. The
wind-up is she now has me dressed in a garteer belt, stockings, heels and
panties and tickling me all over and I love it. I tickle her all the time when
she wants it and sometimes just as a slight show of affection.

this actually reminds me of a rather intriguing story that i read when i was first getting online. another TMF success story.

 

[MrPartickler]

Lets not be hasty. However, all being said I think you should face facts! Its one of those complicated situations where you have to choose one route or another.

Very true.

It's a gamble, to be sure, whether or not someone will eventually come around to tickling. It's complicated by the fact that each individual has a different idea of what is sufficient for them. It's all very personalized and subtle. An occasional intense tickle session might be enough for some. For others, they're content with less intense tickles that occur more frequently. Still others might want to be pursued more often; they'd prefer if they seldom had to initiate tickle play. And another set might prefer to have a more balanced, give-and-take attitude towards it. (Incidentally, a person's attitude towards it may make all the difference.) And on, and on.

I think there are a lot of success stories out there, but there are probably many, many more cases that just don't work out. That's just because "success" has many more requirements placed upon it than failure when it comes to compatibility--in any aspect of a relationship.

I can't give any advice. However, if you know now that you can't really be content without some major changes taking place, it might be wise to have a practical time frame in mind for those changes to occur. That way, you don't cheat yourself out of too much of one of the most precious commodities you have--your time.