My first post and a question for everyone

[Solace79]

Hi all

Let me introdude myself first off... I'm 24, male, from the Harrisburg PA area and have had a tickling fetish for as long as I can remember.

Here's my problem (and in many ways I sincerely hope I'm not alone here): At this stage in my life, I've pretty much come to accept the fact that this tickling fetish that I have is here to stay, and that as far as my getting married at any point, I'm pretty much going to *need* someone who is okay with tickling semi-regularly, if not someone with a tickling fetish themselves, unless they're okay with me having "tickling friends", which is a whole 'nother issue all its own.

I used to think I must be crazy or weird for having such a (dare I say) unique fetish, until I discovered on the Internet that I wasn't alone. So, how do you ladies and gents deal with this in relationships? Am I the only person who has trouble finding other people around them who are into tickling or am I just maybe looking in the wrong place?

I'm seeing someone right now who accepts the fact that I have this fetish and lets me tickle her from time to time but in no way does this truly satisfy my fetish in the long term. My last talk with her is actually what spawned this post. I don’t want my decision on marriage to be even partially based on a fetish that I have but as it stands, it seems to me that I'm going to have an empty hole in my life as long as I try to pretend that I can be happy never/rarely getting to tickle or be tickled for more than a few seconds at a time.

At this point in the post I hope you get the idea, and before I bore everyone to death I'm going to close this and hope I get some replies.

Thanks in advance,

Solace
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[Knox The Hatter]

Hi, welcome to the board!

You're young, and you have more time than you know to try to win this partner over to your way of thinking; which is to say that she will indulge you in your interests because she loves you to death. If she doesn't, than trust me, it ain't worth it, and it's best to scuttle. In the end, this is something that you really can't compromise. There are people here who have compromised, and their posts have indicated that they're not that happy.
I can testify that out of love (and patience on your part), your partner will grow to love what I call The Art of Tickling as much as you do. As far as the partner accepting tickling friends, that's a more advanced task, but it's not impossible. I deftly managed to get my wife to accept this board, and have even had her meet some people here.
Remember, though, Solace: don't settle. You'll be able to tell before long whether it's right or wrong. Do not convince yourself that you can't do better if the situation arises. Never fall into that trap.
Welcome to the TMF. One big tent filled with the most interesting menagerie of people you'll encounter in cyberspace...

 

[Myriads]

Hello Solace79,

Welcome to the forum. Always nice to see a new person join and say hello.

As to your question, in my relationships I look for women who are compatible with me in general, and that includes an open/experimental sexual attitude. While they may not be into tickling per say, they are usually open to it in concept and practice as part of a greater sexual interaction.

Myriads

 

[steph]

Dearest Sol~
Well I'm married 12 years, he doesn't get it at ALL. So here I am, Italian, voluptuous and looking much younger than my 36 years. I tied him up once and went down on him, he freaked out so bad he BIT me. I was LIVID...I'd kill for a man who can handle it. Weird though but I love him dearly...

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Well, you kinda already met me. But, WELCOME TO THE TMF!!! *Gives gigantic newbie hug*
GLad to have you with us!!!


In my little opinion, if tickling is really important to you, like it is to me, then finding a partner who will provide a good amount of it is a MUST. But, I definitely think that they have to at leastr accept it, which it seems yours does.

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

it al labout love my brother and how much you love the dame. Guys will sacrifice anytihng for the woman they love. I love tickling but in one relationship, the girl did not. Once in a while she allowed me tickle her a little but that was it. I thought it would bother me not tickling her but it did not because i realized that having her around was more important. now granted the relationship broke up eventually do to a long distance thing, but i do not regret not ticklign the hell out of her. I think the bottom line is you need to decide how much you love tickling over how much you love the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. Th best answer is to marry a ticklee but not all of us can be as lucky as some of the people on this forum.

 

[Hosetickler23]

Iam going to let you know that I am also 24 and havent ever had a real relationship during my life. I had one female friend tell me that Tickling wasnt a fetish back in July mean while she has more whips, tauz, and etc(I never call that a fetish,I call it sick,) then a slave driver, and we're friends but she had to be told to stop tickling on many occasions (mostly in public. she could dish it out but couldnt take it, things went sour, I went one way she went another)currently she has a boyfriend (he's an _____) and shes setting me up with someone she goes to school with. I usually dont bring up tickling till I feel comfortable, thats me to each his/her own. I do know that a relationship (especially marriage) should be based on love and if there is no love and its all about tickling then the two of you will be unhappy. I also know that the majority of people in the world are ticklish, most claim not to be, some admit it but hate it and even hide it, some love it, admit it, and accept it (us,) and few truly arent but we all look when we hear the famos words "don't do that it tickles!"

 

[Mitchell]

Hi, welcome to the TMF. I'm Mitch, male, single, almost 34, and as you can see, I live not far from you in Lancaster PA. Here;s my take on what you just said and my experience.
I have had a foot fetish for as long as I can recall. My one major ex gf, Jenny, wasnt ticklish at all, although at that time I wasnt into tickling like Iam now, just feet. She would let me pay attention to her feet and was pretty cool about it. My tickling fetish actually didnt start until gradually about 7 years ago. I had a male pen pal and we would discuss tickling, and I gradually got into it. I have tickled female friends, but since I have not had a relationship in a while, not a serious gf. At this point, I could probably deal with someone who would let me tickle her every once in a while, even if not regularly, as long as I could pay attention to and kiss her feet etc. I dont think I could be w someone who said no feet ever because that would bother me, but as for the tickling, even if infrequent, I could deal with it as long as it was every once in a while at least.
As for your situation, it sounds to me that you have to weigh all of the circumstances. What is the whole global situation with your relationship with your girlfriend? If she is a wonderful girl, and you really love her, and want to be with her long term, then both of you need to compromise with the tickling if possible. She needs to understand that you need it, and you need to respect her wishes if she doesnt want to be tickled all the time. If, however, there are other issues, and you feel very strongly about finding someone who is really into tickling, and you need to tickle your girlfriend on a regular basis, then you need to explore that, and find someone who is into the fetish more strongly than your current girlfriend is. I think what Iam saying is logical, and it is your decision. Iam in no way advocating that you should break up with your current girlfriend,because if she is right in all other ways, then try to work it out, but if there are other issues, and you really want a girl who is strongly into it and would allow you to tickle her on a regular basis, then you need to explore that. I hope this helps. If you ever want to chat more please leave me a PM and I'll be glad to help in any way I can. Welcome to the TMF and enjoy, it is a great online family that I have really come to enjoy in the almost 16 months Ive been here.

Mitch

 

[R. Davis]

Welcome to the TMF, Solace

Many members of the TMF are looking for that special someone who enjoy tickling. That special love and understanding between man and women is something serious. Tickling should be consider a small part of the whole.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Hiya Solace! Welcome to the Gang!

For the most part, one big happy lunatic(kle) family here! And man, do I hear you! I think we can all relate to the feeling of being "the only one" this way. It is SOOOO liberating to find out that you're not only not alone, but we're EVERYWHERE! And don't settle for someone who's not into it that may or may not indulge you every now and then... find yourself someone who loves it at least as much as you, and spend your time together making each other deleriously happy! There are several couples here on the TMF, many of whom were brought together by our mutual interest, some of whom even MET each other THROUGH the Forum! Pretty freakin' cool, eh? So believe it, my friend, it can happen to you, too.

 

[alex]

Hi, Solace79. I'm a lot older than you, and I've had a bunch of relationships. In general, I'd mention my interest in tickling after we already were having a sexual relationship, once there already was something of a bond. I've been fortunate enough that nobody ever was turned off by it, though some were more able to get into it than others. The lady I eventually married satisfies all my desires - as I satisfy hers. This is a large part of what makes the relationship work.

Advice: make clear what you want, don't settle for less than what you want, and don't feel bad about not settling for less. A woman can be really great, but if she can't connect with your deepest needs, then in the long run she isn't for you. There are a lot of great women out there, and there are more than a few who will devote themselves to giving you the kind of pleasure you want in the context of a relationship, especially if you devote yourself to giving them the kind of pleasure they want. Good luck.

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Re: Welcome to the TMF, Solace

Many members of the TMF are looking for that special someone who enjoy tickling. That special love and understanding between man and women is something serious. Tickling should be consider a small part of the whole.

Dear Solace79,
It's a tad odd to use someone else's quote to welcome, but I thought that R. Davis summed things up rather succinctly with the above. Enjoy the amazing humongous site that is the TMF. Lots of excellent advice to be found in the thousands of threads.

 

[Em Es]

What matters most in the girl you marry . . .

Solace79, tickling the girls we want (that is, the beautiful ones) or meeting attractive women who are into tickling happens mostly in fantasy. When I was your age (I'm 43), I wish I knew this: the girls you will tickle the most are the ones who want to please YOU.

The girls you want you are the ones dying to please you. They won't play it cool until you approach them; they look you in the eye, smiling, or flat-out approach you. They don't wait until you pick up the phone; they call you. They won't wait until you go for it; they will instigate the first kiss. They may not be into tickling, but if satisfying you is important enough, they will learn to like your tickle games.

So your best bet for finding a girl to tickle thoughout your marriage is taking advantage of the girls who find YOU attractive. Some might be cute, others plain Janes. But give me the plain Jane who lets me have my way with her instead of the knockout that's too much pain for the pleasure. Concentrate on the girls who pick you, not the girls you would pick. Which category does your girlfriend fall under?

Welcome to the T.M.F, by the way. Please let us know how it goes with your girlfriend.

 

[Faramir]

not much I can add to what everyone else has already said dude...they have all pretty much covered it...so since I'm new here as well, I'll just add another welcome.

the only thing I can add that would be even remotely interesting, is that I was born in Harrisburg, (the area you said you are from) and lived in Middletown (yeah, everyone else...sounds so corny middle Amerika, I know, but that is really the name of the town) up until I ended 5th grade, then got dragged unwillingly to the HOLE of a city in I live in now....(jeez, talk about culture shock). I miss the 'ell out of PA, and the PA girl's...except for the Winter's, and the expense to live there. my large four-legged pet's would absolutely go nuts to be turned out on the lush greenery that abounds there.

nice to have someone from HOME on the board...!!! ...and 'ello to the person from Lancaster as well...are the Amish still driving the carriages there?

good gawd...it just occurred to me...I still remember the address of my old house in PA...!!!

 

[Solace79]

Thanks all for the advice, I really really appreciated all the replies I got.

The particular person I was talking about just put distance on our relationship tonight (spend less time together and so forth) so it looks like I'm back to square 1 again in many ways.

Talk to you all soon,

Sol

 

[Faramir]

oh crap...sorry to hear that

sorry to hear that, but maybe it's all for the best. better now than having your heart ripped out later down the road...Lord knows I've been there more times than I wanted too...and got the T-shirts to prove it.

keep your mind and your heart open...be a free soul...don't go looking, 'cause you never find it when you are...it just kinda...happens..when you least expect it..!!

 

[Em Es]

Make sure you DON'T call her

Well, Solace79, either it's over or she is playing games with you. If it's the former, nothing you do will get her back. If it's the latter, don't make the typical male mistake of chasing her.

Do not call her. Do not write to her. Do not mention her to mutual acquaintances. She will see you are not just waiting around for her. At that moment, she might think about calling you because you will have become a CHALLENGE to her. Women almost exclusively date men who are a challenge, not the guys who trip over each other trying to impress them.

And if she does contact you, don't be too eager to see her. No matter how badly you want to accept a reconciliation date, don't accept her first offer. If she suggests Friday night, tell her, "I'm busy Friday night. How about another time?"

Otherwise, play the field and concentrate on the girls who chase you, not the girls who make you chase them. The less-exciting girl will do the most exciting things to get you and keep you. Those are the girls you should date.

 

[steph]

Solid advice Em!
Way back when I was single, I always noticed the guys that dumped me ALL wanted to get me back afterwards ("Too bad, so sad, that ship has sailed!" I'd sing and I'd rush off into the arms of their uh, replacement...) I always loved that part!
And Sol, I'm sorry to hear it--clearly the loss is hers...

 

[Solace79]

I don't want to go into great details, but what I can say at this point is that my initial post that opened this thread has been resolved due to everyone's advice. The separation was for the best and I'm just going to have to accept it and get on with what I need to do in my life. It wasn't a breakup, it was a big step back, for an indeterminate amount of time, and it was necessary in many ways.

I have a good handle on looking forward; things happen as they should, and it sure as hell isn't the end of the world. Of course, this is me talking out of my head and not my heart...easier that way.

Sol

 

[Ayla ny]

Solace, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. you’ll be fine. and congratulations on realizing, and being honest with yourself about, what you can and can’t live without (or at least are willing to) BEFORE getting married.