My master left me however..i found my new one..and oh boy it was amazing

[Venom3602]

I'll like you a lot more if you keep calling him your boyfriend.

 

[wendyandpeter]

i tried to be a loyal slave in this dominant relationship but there were more reasons then one of why i left him. the main one other then the cheating was telling me he'd kill me and went on saying how he would do it...i don't need an abusive master....im only playing out this role to an extent. i dont need to be mistreated.

If you don't NEED to be mistreated, stop calling yourself a "slave." That's just asking for it.

I've been active in the BDSM scene for over 20 years now, so I think I have some perspective on this. The difference between a Master/slave relationship and a Dominant/submissive relationship is vast, and widely misunderstood, ESPECIALLY by people who are new to the scene.

I'm not going to get into it in depth here, unless someone specifically asks me to. Just suffice it to say that we all know what a slave is. The definition is as clear as a bell, unless you've been living in a cave for the past 300 years.

People who enter into true Master/slave BDSM relationships do so because they need to give every bit of power and responsibility over to someone else. True BDSM slaves, by definition, have no rights. In other words, what is slave-like about retaining any control over yourself? Answer: Nothing. That's why there are so few real slaves. Like I said -- I'm been in the scene for 24 years now, and I've only met two or three real slaves. A couple of men and one woman, so far as I remember. And I can tell you that they were SERIOUSLY damaged people.

On the other hand, I've met hundreds of people who CLAIMED to be slaves. They are just very mainipulative people who think that "slave status" makes them special, and gives them the right to expect and demand things of their "Master," (since women willing to call themselves a slave are hard to come by). In reality, most men who call themselves a Master and really are of that mindset are pretty lonely people. Women who call themselves "slave" are usually just huge drama queens who love to complain online about how they are abused. They LOVE it when naive, desperate men reply with "oh, how awful -- I'D come to your rescue, if only you'd let me..." usually followed by vicious fighting amongst the members of the site about this woman's right to call herself whatever she wants, and how calling herself a slave doesn't give any man the right to abuse her. And so the cycle continues.

Bottom line: Calling yourself "slave" is just asking for trouble if you aren't willing to accept a Master's right to complete dominion over you. SO DON'T DO IT. Call yourself what you really are (a submissive).

If you insist on continuing to ask for trouble, fine. But don't go online whining about how you got what you asked for.

 

[F.L. Atlanta 10]

I say that this_is_me_now can call herself whatever she wants to, whether it be 'slave' or 'submissive', but she should be safe at the same time. Regardless of 'name' or 'title', she shouldn't have to go through what she went through. No one should. I don't care if you are into S&M or not. You should feel safe and happy regardless of where you are and what activities you partake in. Now, if there is mutual consent to spanking or other form of 'physical punishment' other than tickling, then so be it, but it should NOT be taken to the EXTREME of a guy hitting a girl PERIOD. Guys should not hit girls like this_is_me_now's ex-master did to her. Punching someone in the face for no reason is UNACCEPTABLE. I had a teacher who got hit ACCIDENTALLY in the face and as a result, she got a dislocated or broken jaw. I think it was dislocated, but she was in pain and I think she missed some days. How that happened was it was a guy's birthday, and he got tried of receiving 'birthday punches', so he 'tried' to punch another guy who was doing that, and the rest is history. Point is, master/slave relationships should NEVER reach the level as it did with this_is_me_now.

 

[Venom3602]

I had a teacher who got hit ACCIDENTALLY in the face and as a result, she got a dislocated or broken jaw. I think it was dislocated, but she was in pain and I think she missed some days. How that happened was it was a guy's birthday, and he got tried of receiving 'birthday punches', so he 'tried' to punch another guy who was doing that, and the rest is history.

What point is that supposed to make? You should never hit people by accident? I agree with wendynpeter. It annoyed me that she ran around the forums with this whole master/slave gimmic and then complains to us about domestic abuse. Most "slaves" get off on that. Nobody's arguing whether or not she should have left him. We all agree that leaving him was the right decision, we're just pointing out she's not a slave.

 

[wendyandpeter]

Exactly. Rule One: If you don't like your life, change it. Rule Two: Learn from your mistakes. Rule Three: The number of times you make the same mistake over again is positively correlated to how big a loser your are.

I can't begin to tell you the number of times these "slave" girls try to recycle the "I'm so abused" drama. Sometimes, it's because they honestly don't know what they are saying when they say to a man "I want to be your slave." They think it means "I want to be your wife, and I'm looking forward to lots of kinky sex."

But if you say "I want to be your slave" to someone in the BDSM scene, then don't expect to get treated like a princess. Instead, say "I want to be your princess." There's nothing wrong with that, and it isn't misleading, manipulative or pathological. Case in point: This-is-me-now says she "practices mild BDSM and of course the whole subserviant bull crud." It's clear to me that she has business calling herself a slave or representing herself as one to men who will treat her as one.

Like I said in my previous post to this thread, I've been active in the scene for a long time. I would never consider "taking a slave" or even getting involved with one. Believe me, that whole Master/slave thing is usually nothing but drama and pain (of the very bad variety). Posting on a dozen forums about "slave abuse" just to see if anyone will get alarmed and respond is kind of a fetish in itself. It's definitely a form of trolling.

 

[drizzay01]

Stop calling yourself a slave out of the bedroom if you want to keep it in the bedroom. You don't deserve to be hit, but you are being extremely dumb and putting yourself in bad situations by taking it out of the bedroom. It was your fault completely, and i'm glad other people jumped on it as well.

 

[Hiryu]

Stop calling yourself a slave out of the bedroom if you want to keep it in the bedroom. You don't deserve to be hit, but you are being extremely dumb and putting yourself in bad situations by taking it out of the bedroom. It was your fault completely, and i'm glad other people jumped on it as well.

Woe, woe, woe! It was her fault that she got hit or that everyone is bashing her because of her constant usage of the word "slave"? Please be specific.

 

[flightless_me]

Wow! Well, I for one am totally speechless. All i can think to say is I am happy you found someone better and be more careful with what you want.

 

[Darth Vegeta]

Hmmm the slave thing is not the usual thing for me 😛 but i liked it. But the guy seems of the good kind out there. So you're quite lucky.
The fact he didn't 'go' for you right away says something to. And if he was a good friend... that's a good basis to build on.

 

[wendyandpeter]

Woe, woe, woe! It was her fault that she got hit or that everyone is bashing her because of her constant usage of the word "slave"? Please be specific.

Keeper,

Please tell us what you think the word "slave" means?

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

The dead horse's soul is asking you all to please stop beating it's body so it can rest in peace. 😛

 

[flightless_me]

The dead horse's soul is asking you all to please stop beating it's body so it can rest in peace. 😛

lmao!

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Really. Poor horse.

 

[flightless_me]

Question. Why is it all her posts are about her master? And why is her topic "her master left her" if she did the leaving? (She makes it sound like she did the leaving)

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Why does Michael Jackson think he's white? Who knows. LOL...

Seriously though, if theres anything I have to say about this, its that its a sad situation all around and while she says she's escaped that hell, its clear she's still living it in cycles, and that regardless of who she's with now, they'll be a reminder of what was and still is, in her mind.

I'm not talking to her, rather than at her, and thats terribly rude.

So ms., whomever you are, you know you deserve better. I have no way of knowing whether you're desperate and just leaped into the arms of another man or its real love or this is all just some game to you, but its clear, at least to us, that you got ALOT more than you bargained for with the last prize pig.

I'm sorry to hear that. I genuinely am. However, you have to stop this cycle and refuse to let it have anything to do with who you are or who you are going to be as an individual. Don't allow somebody else to decide that. This isn't healthy any way you slice it, since alot of what you're doing is more about power and position than love an intimacy it seems. I know its all too easy to say and very hard to do, but I honestly think you need to withdrawl from this "lifestyle" of yours and reevaluate your life before you decide, if you decide, to step back in.

At the very least you owe yourself a clear head, a clean conscience and a better situation. You aren't going to get that merely basking in the glow of a rebound relationship in it's fleeting moments.

If you do this, and you do return to this "scene", then you will have gained enough self-assurance, esteem, and personal value enough to know that you will not nor should not be taken advantage of or abused in any way, no matter what kind of game or role you choose to play in life whether on the side or as an extension of who you are.

I apologize in advance if I'm being too abrupt or have accosted you. But I'm equally sure that you're at least aware enough to know that you can't just post something so personal and expect people to not have something to say. When you open yourself up like this to people's thoughts and opinions you're taking a risk. And I only hope that in some way, however small or large, I and some of the others have helped.

Don't put this lifestyle before you.

 

[wendyandpeter]

Really. Poor horse.

Maybe people are learning something through discussion. Sorry if you're bored, Count.

 

[deac956611]

The one thing that is not allowed is for someone to beat the crap out of someone and expect them to like it. THey did that in the slavery days and it would seem that times would have changed but have they? Our fetish is one of laughable loveable ticklish pleasure, No where in there did it say physical mahym. Pehaps that SOB should have a taste of his own medicine and see how he would like it. I doubt that he would. While playing games and calling one another maste or servant is good it doesn't mean taking it to the extreme. I am so happy that your new master is one whom while playing the role loves tickling you and making you laugh. Enjoy and what ever you do don't go back to that other sick person

 

[Venom3602]

You people should really stop encouraging her.

 

[wendyandpeter]

The one thing that is not allowed is for someone to beat the crap out of someone and expect them to like it. THey did that in the slavery days and it would seem that times would have changed but have they? Our fetish is one of laughable loveable ticklish pleasure, No where in there did it say physical mahym. Pehaps that SOB should have a taste of his own medicine and see how he would like it. I doubt that he would. While playing games and calling one another maste or servant is good it doesn't mean taking it to the extreme. I am so happy that your new master is one whom while playing the role loves tickling you and making you laugh. Enjoy and what ever you do don't go back to that other sick person

What the hell are you talking about? The girl ASKED for it.

Look, you need to understand. For a lot of people, BDSM isn't a game. It's a lifestyle. It isn't something to play around with.

I hope she learned her lesson, and I'm glad she wasn't seriously hurt in the process. If she continues to play with fire, I'm sure she'll get burned again.

 

[Hiryu]

She ASKED for it by calling herself a slave and her boyfriend her master?? Did it ever occur to you that their relationship was not intended (hope it wasn't) to go in the direction of violence? I my self am a Sado/Masochist but, I don't believe in damaging anothers body or having mine damaged either. She could have been his "tickle slave" ya know and was just using the word "slave" for short. Ever think about that? It's almost as if you're defending that spineless jerk. Everytime I read someone say or imply that she brought it on her self, I just want to find the ex-master and rip him to pieces!

edit: Oh! And if karma ends up dealing him a hard and irrecoverable blow and we hear or read about it I will proudly announce that he "had it coming" and that he "was ASKING for it." And then I'll laugh and wish I knew where his grave was so I could empty the contents of my bladder on it! Ha!

 

[Venom3602]

I my self am a Sado/Masochist but, I don't believe in damaging anothers body or having mine damaged either.

Huh?

 

[wendyandpeter]

She ASKED for it by calling herself a slave and her boyfriend her master??

Look at it this way. If I went around calling myself a junkie, and met a woman who is a junkie, and said to her "Let's be junkies together," would I have any right to complain if she ACTED like a junkie, and expected me to act like a junkie too?

Would I be worthy of anyone's sympathy if I said, "Well, I CALL myself a junkie, but I don't really DO heroin -- I just like the IDEA of being a junkie -- It's kind of cool and romantic in a pathetic sort of sense, and I think women who do heroin are really hot. But I can't BELIEVE she wanted me to shoot up. She EXPECTED me to shoot up..." You'd think I was a complete idiot. And you'd be right.

Moral of the story: Don't play around in other people's lives. YES, any guy who calls himself a Master (in the BDSM sense) and is serious about it is going to treat slaves in a certain way. And any slave who really IS a slave will EXPECT to be treated like a slave (i.e., like PROPERTY).

If that sounds sick and fucked up, that's another topic of discussion altogether, but hey baby, it be what it be.

 

[chode]

So if its okk to be called a slave and it shouldnt be a big deal. Then im able to refer to my bitch as a bitch all the time?

 

[wendyandpeter]

So if its okk to be called a slave and it shouldnt be a big deal. Then im able to refer to my bitch as a bitch all the time?

No idea what you're talking about. If you have a bitch, I guess you should refer to it as 'bitch.' If you sometimes refer to it as 'lampshade,' it will become confused and probably won't come when called...

 

[flightless_me]

My head hurts. Lol.
Look, She must have learned her lesson and she says she found someone better. Good for you, stop calling yourself a slave or get treated like one. Ya the guy is a sob and should not have hit her. No excuses. So stop with the slave calling, guy was an a$$ hole...ok!