My story, and my disappointment.

[ZeroLuckGuy]

People on a fetish forum are not exactly the best people to ask for advice. The irony is not lost on the fact that I am doing that very thing to you.

Bottom line is, nobody likes a whiner. Quit complaining about how horrible your life is. Some people have it far worse than you and say nothing. Have some dignity and self respect for Christ's sake!

If not here, where else should I seek advice?

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

I've converted all of my girlfriends. One of the tricks is to basically present it like something fun. If they decide it's fun too, off you go.

I've also tickled friends. If it's something you both want to do, it'll happen.

Read my thread "Talking about tickling - ur doin it right" for a story about one of the times I got a friend to let me tickle her.

I do bring it up as something fun. But I just come off as weird and creepy.

Maybe it's the words I'm using or how I lead into the topic...

 

[stockytickler]

It's not something you bring up the first time you meet. First go out on a few dates so she's comfortable with you. When you've invited her into your home and she's accepted, and you're making out on the couch, tickle her a little, just as part of touching each other. Or giggle, and tell her you're a little ticklish -- get the word said out loud in a good context. That should seem a lot less "weird" to her.

Good luck, man. I spent 40 tickle-free years dating women who wouldn't engage in any tickle-play before I met my bf. Won't work for everyone but damn it worked for me. 🙂

 

[smokinj]

If not here, where else should I seek advice?

How about a self help forum for starters. Somewhere that has trained professionals who can assist you in getting control of your life. Like I said, your problem seems deeper then finding a girl to tickle you. Is that really going to make your life complete? I suspect you would never be happy and your real problems would still be there.

 

[Libertine]

Beating his own odds! Maths genius who predicted he had just a one in 285,000 chance of finding love is now getting MARRIED

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-000-chance-finding-love-getting-MARRIED.html

Now do yourself a favour, quit whining and get out there.

 

[ChicagoDavid]

Difficult as this may seem, I think you need to be less focused on getting a tickling experience. Tickling experiences, sex, money -- they seem like everything when we don't have them. When we have them, we find that they are good, but they aren't everything! Some women want to find the right guy and have children together, and it never happens. If it does not, they need to find the other amazing riches that life has to offer. Some guys think they have to be rich and famous, and it never happens. But there is plenty for "regular" people (which is most people). Make a list of 10 things you like. You HAVE to be able to think of ten. Browse the web if you need to in order to make that list. If a few simply aren't happening, get the other ones! Fun movies? Go alone if your friends don't want to see it. Reading? It's less popular than it used to be, but it is an amazing way to open up worlds. Walking all around Manhattan? Finding non-fetish related activities just to make new friends. Volunteer to help people who have no home. You'll feel great, and meet people who are nice enough to donate their time to help people. Hang around with those people.

Of course, don't give up entirely on finding good tickling experiences. There is no reason you can't try to have those with female friends. Not one hour, bondage (at least not at first), but quick, fun experiences. How to do that in that situation? There are a bunch of threads on this, with a lot of bad ideas but also a lot of good ones! Research those! The good ones are more along the lines of:
DON'T: UH, I'VE GOT THIS FETISH, I HOPE IT'S OKAY, I KNOW, IT'S WEIRD, WOULD YOU TIE ME UP AND TICKLE ME?
DO: GET BACKRUB. PRETEND SOMETHING TICKLED. GET HER BACK. OR VARIOUS OTHER APPROACHES WHERE YOU AREN'T MAKING A BIG DEAL OF IT.

I really hope things turn around for you. I'm guessing you're pretty young, still thinking about bullying. If you are out of school, that problem should be gone. One positive of the adult world is, you can get away from people who make you crazy. Well, except relatives.

I admit, however, that I have no professional qualifications to give this advice.

 

[Morpheus72]

Wow, a bunch of stuff happened in this thread since I posted to you...I'll address what you said to me first:

Only a significant other? A friend can't care enough to help with something that would make you happy?

I'm sure there are friends out there who would help out, if your friendship with them is strong enough. For example, I know if I broke up with my girlfriend, there are people out there that I know that would tickle me and let them tickle me back, but since it's sexual to me, that makes it a lot more complicated, since the topic of the "ending" would have to be addressed. Tricky convo to have with a friend, to be sure.

It's hard to have confidence when its one failure and disappointment after another. I hope that makes sense.

Dude, of course it's hard. Suck it up and deal with it. Or don't. I can think of 25 or 50 people -- including myself -- on here over the years with the same kind of issue, some of whom have had success, others who have not. My recommendation is to find a girl you like and who likes you, without worrying about the tickling stuff. As many people have said, the tickling can be introduced in a positive and fun way in a relationship. Your girl may not feel as strongly about tickling as you do, but she might like spanking more than you. That's life -- you will most likely not find a partner who is 100% like you.

Stocky (nice double-meaning for the name btw) and ChicagoDavid are on point here as well. SmokinJ is telling it like it is.

In closing, I'll tell you I've been right where you are, right down to the bullying. I haven't totally beat it, but I'm pretty close. And guess what, I get tickled every so often 🙂

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

DON'T: UH, I'VE GOT THIS FETISH, I HOPE IT'S OKAY, I KNOW, IT'S WEIRD, WOULD YOU TIE ME UP AND TICKLE ME?
DO: GET BACKRUB. PRETEND SOMETHING TICKLED. GET HER BACK. OR VARIOUS OTHER APPROACHES WHERE YOU AREN'T MAKING A BIG DEAL OF IT.

Don't worry, I already know using the world fetish is the worst thing I could do.

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

Your girl may not feel as strongly about tickling as you do, but she might like spanking more than you. That's life -- you will most likely not find a partner who is 100% like you.

LOL. Maybe I should just clone myself!

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

One thing I stress over is how to bring it up to someone. Obviously this is not a common topic of discussion.

For example I know this person, who I know would not be into this at all, and I know that at the start. But I still would like to know her thoughts on the whole scenario. She has a very unique personality and view on things. And just hearing her opinion would be fascinating enough. Problem is, I am scared to death to ask her about it. And the bothers me more. Are we really at a point in the world where we have to be scared to ask a person a question. This causes me more stress and disappointment...

I've actually made the first steps to ask this person their thoughts about this whole thing. As I thought i am struggling with how to bring it up. I've told her that I would like to ask her opinion on something but was nervous to ask her, so we then started talking about why I was nervous. She had some great insights as to why.

That I could be nervous for 2 reasons: I don't what to get the same answer I've been getting (which is being thought of as a freak), and second that by asking a question I would be revealing something that interests me, otherwise why would I be asking about it. You can't fake non-interest if you are asking about a topic like this. Or can you?

Anyway, we have talked enough, that all that is left is for me to ask her about what her thoughts are about tickling. Again my problem is how do I bring something like that? It's not a normal everyday conversation topic.
I've thought of showing her a picture of someone all tied up about to be tickled and ask what comes to mind just by looking at it (I thought of the a mummified pic because that seems less shocking than a picture with ropes, cuffs, or chains and stuff like that)

Is there anything I can say or do that won't paint me as a freak?

 

[TickleYouPink]

It's really not all that freakish, is it? It's just "sensory play." It's akin to touching, caressing, massaging, a few little swats on the bum. These are all things that most people like to do, at least in small portions. Heck, a LOT of people are even into light bondage these days, too, or at least understand why it might be exciting. I guess the point where any of this stuff might be considered freakish is when it goes from "light" to "intense" or "obsessive." You don't need to break out the leather and the chains to have a good time with tickling... do you? I mean, I know a lot of us are into the intense stuff, but you don't start there with someone... you work up to that level gradually (if you sense they might be okay with it.)

I guess my point is, as fetishes go, I think ours is pretty tame compared to some others that are out there. If you tell someone you have "a fetish" they're going to imagine all kinds of crazy stuff that's probably far worse than, "oh, he enjoys tickling."

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

It's really not all that freakish, is it? It's just "sensory play." It's akin to touching, caressing, massaging, a few little swats on the bum. These are all things that most people like to do, at least in small portions. Heck, a LOT of people are even into light bondage these days, too, or at least understand why it might be exciting. I guess the point where any of this stuff might be considered freakish is when it goes from "light" to "intense" or "obsessive." You don't need to break out the leather and the chains to have a good time with tickling... do you? I mean, I know a lot of us are into the intense stuff, but you don't start there with someone... you work up to that level gradually (if you sense they might be okay with it.)

I guess my point is, as fetishes go, I think ours is pretty tame compared to some others that are out there. If you tell someone you have "a fetish" they're going to imagine all kinds of crazy stuff that's probably far worse than, "oh, he enjoys tickling."

The person I want to ask is the most average, simple, ordinary person you can imagine. So it doesn't matter if the fetish in question is something strange or relatively simple.

 

[GQguy]

How to convert a "vanilla".

Step 1: find a girl that likes you ALOT.

Step 2: tickle her.

Done.


No one that isn't sexually attracted to you cares about your fetishes. On a 5 hour drive from Vegas a buddy and I might get into it as I describe my sexcapades there....but any other time....no one gives a shit. Women that are interested in me however is a different story. Think about it from someone else's point of view for a minute...do you care that your buddy like to toss salads? Haha no!

The hardest part of my 2 step plan is step #1. Based on your attitude I can tell you don't date much. Women RUN from the woe is me types. They want men that can be logical and lift them when they're down...for that matter everyone..man or woman wants that. No one wants a Debbie downer.

You have some soul searching to do. Allow yourself to have fun, and be fun. Get out there and do fun stuff. Fix the problems in your life that are holding you back. This is bigger than tickling and even women...this is about enjoying your life as a whole. Once you're able to do that the women will come. It's a weird phenomenon....do it successfully and you'll have more women than you'll know what to do with. A new problem....tickling will then be the least of your worries.

Ask yourself "am I someone people want to hang with?". If not figure out how and why. How can you become that man. Then do it. Mind you however...this is a daunting task. Evolving past the comfort of self pity and becoming accountable for ones own life. Ain't easy.

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

How to convert a "vanilla".

No one that isn't sexually attracted to you cares about your fetishes. On a 5 hour drive from Vegas a buddy and I might get into it as I describe my sexcapades there....but any other time....no one gives a shit. Women that are interested in me however is a different story. Think about it from someone else's point of view for a minute...do you care that your buddy like to toss salads? Haha no!

The hardest part of my 2 step plan is step #1. Based on your attitude I can tell you don't date much. Women RUN from the woe is me types. They want men that can be logical and lift them when they're down...for that matter everyone..man or woman wants that. No one wants a Debbie downer.

You have some soul searching to do. Allow yourself to have fun, and be fun. Get out there and do fun stuff. Fix the problems in your life that are holding you back. This is bigger than tickling and even women...this is about enjoying your life as a whole. Once you're able to do that the women will come. It's a weird phenomenon....do it successfully and you'll have more women than you'll know what to do with. A new problem....tickling will then be the least of your worries.

Ask yourself "am I someone people want to hang with?". If not figure out how and why. How can you become that man. Then do it. Mind you however...this is a daunting task. Evolving past the comfort of self pity and becoming accountable for ones own life. Ain't easy.

Thanks for the reply.
I'm not looking for tickling in just the dating sense thought. In fact I prefer it more as a non-sexual thing, but that seems kinda hard to convince people of that fact.
I think I'm someone people want to hang out with, but I don't think many people feel the same way. Everyone says I'm a nice guy and all, but something is not matching up.

 

[monstertickles]

I'd say you have it backwards, in my opinion..

1. Health
2. Job
3. Finance
4. Friends
5. Fetish

If you just focus on #5 and blame #1-4, you'll always have this negative 'woe is me' personality. Even if you just worked on your health, you've gained more than words can easily expressed. Over a year ago, I had problems with health, my job and money. Job didn't pay much, sat in an office and did internet marketing. Naturally being on the computer all day, I gained weight and became a sloth of a human. After seeing a doctor about my heart, I discovered I had became pre-diabetic from years of inactivity from my job. I changed my lifestyle because it had to be done, lost 40lbs and beat pre-diabetes. This feeling alone outweighed any friends/fetish activity. From there on out, things will get better and better. Take one step at a time, and make sure it's the right step for you overall, in the big picture, not just the dirty picture.

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

I'd say you have it backwards, in my opinion..

1. Health
2. Job
3. Finance
4. Friends
5. Fetish

If you just focus on #5 and blame #1-4, you'll always have this negative 'woe is me' personality. Even if you just worked on your health, you've gained more than words can easily expressed. Over a year ago, I had problems with health, my job and money. Job didn't pay much, sat in an office and did internet marketing. Naturally being on the computer all day, I gained weight and became a sloth of a human. After seeing a doctor about my heart, I discovered I had became pre-diabetic from years of inactivity from my job. I changed my lifestyle because it had to be done, lost 40lbs and beat pre-diabetes. This feeling alone outweighed any friends/fetish activity. From there on out, things will get better and better. Take one step at a time, and make sure it's the right step for you overall, in the big picture, not just the dirty picture.

I don't think I am blaming the lack of tickling on anything, except for having no luck with it. I agree with the order of priority though.

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

I've thought of showing her a picture of someone all tied up about to be tickled and ask what comes to mind just by looking at it (I thought of the a mummified pic because that seems less shocking than a picture with ropes, cuffs, or chains and stuff like that)

Is there anything I can say or do that won't paint me as a freak?

I imagine this is probably a bad idea...

 

[TickleYouPink]

Maybe take the scientific / psychological approach?

http://www.lovematters.info/turned-tickling

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

Maybe take the scientific / psychological approach?

http://www.lovematters.info/turned-tickling

I really want to stay away from the world fetish or sexual. Scientific and health approach is a good idea. Has anyone ever had any luck starting the conversation about those facts?