Need Advice on How to Find My True Love

[ticklisharmpits]

I've been struggling lately on how to meet that "special someone". I have trouble meeting people. I belong to 2 dating services. I'm somewhat shy in large groups. Is finding that special someone really just "something that happens" or are there things I can do to increase my chances? (For the record, I have been in 4 serious relationships). But I really want to find that special someone. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks! 🙂

 

[steph]

Tough stuff TA. I hope it doesn't sound condescending to to assume you're a little bit young? (I'm almost 40, pay no attention to the old lady in the rocker--<gg>)

I think you're in good company with the wanting to meet someone cool. I'm with the same guy (almost happily)13 years now. In my lifetime, I've been fat, skinny, big chested, NO chested, buck toothed, braces and coke bottle glasses (shudders) and thru all of it, never had any problem meeting guys. How you ask. I don't know in black and white sense.
You seem to be thoughtful and sweet from what little I know of you from the posts...I know for sure I met the most guys when I wasn't looking. I always kept myself busy by getting involved in things I loved~skiing, surfing, jet skiing. When they see you having fun and not freaking out the guys will be naturally drawn...Always look like you're having fun~people love to be around positive energy and don't let the little things bug ya~ "OMG, I've a little stomach pooch, I'm bloating, etc..." If you pretend it doesn't bother you, it won't bother others, they'll be too taken with your shine!

Dunno if this helped at all but wishing ya luck!
XOXO

 

[maniactickler]

Id say dont try too hard. just be your self. thats how i met steph. oops, i never met steph. dammit! 🙁

 

[steph]

😛
Actually my adorably nutty friend brings up a good point. I find I tend to meet the most people when I'm not trying at all. I guess it's the pressure-free thing that makes people want to relax in the presence.
And your flaws? Teach your self to accept them, learn to laugh at them and even embrace them (yes I'm serious!) I've a slight learning disability when it comes to numbers and it's a running joke with my boss and co-workers. I literally have to ask them what time my lunch break ends every day, because I just can't compute it. (I don't go at any particular time, just when I feel hungry.) Ridiculous, I know and it causes me all kinds of trouble, most of it, thank goodness, minor stuff but we all laugh about it, they make fun of me, call me "math whiz" etc. Most of the stuff we worry about, half the time, people don't even notice, so do try and ease up on yourself little bit. When people find you're relaxed and easy to be around, they'll gravitate!

XOXO
PS~And you Mr. are in BIG trouble if I ever get to Mass!
😛

 

[maniactickler]

Steph, great advice! im going to try NOT to meet you. then maybe it will happen! of course im only going to try this technique for a couple hours. if its unsuccessful, then im going back to trying to meet you! bwahahaha!!! 😛

 

[steph]

Bring it baby!

(These are just suggestions that I find worked for me BTW, I mean I'm no expert certainly but I've had my share of successful and long lasting relationships...)
XOXO

 

[AquaFeline]

Going out and doing stuff is good, but going out and doing stuff where you're liable to meet people is even better. Have an organized activity, such as bowling etc; this means that you will automatically have something to talk about. I think it helps to be willing to talk to people for a little while even if they don't exactly fit the bill at first glance. Also (I'm not so sure about this because I haven't done it) but I think letting people you already know know that you're looking to meet new people would help as well. Being shy doesn't mean that you can't meet new people, only that a more structured environment is preferable. I can be shy as well but I've learned that people think more about themselves than my inadequecies.

 

[Fastwalker]

I don't know if this will help any, but nearly all my lasting close relationships began just by being in the right place at the right time, usually from following a gut feeling that if I didn't go in a particular direction, I would miss something. Destiny took care of the rest. Just go with the flow, and be amazed at what happens.

 

[the_Baron]

hang out at the bars that the ladies go to to drown their sorrows after failing exams.

take advantage of the broken-spirit factor.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Learn to love yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Learn to truly believe that without you, the world could simply not function. When you're convinced of your own indispensability, of your own (sorry, Biscuit) deification, then you'll be fighting to keep the opposite sex off of you. How do I know? All the aforementioned describes my father. And women have fallen for him his whole life.
The guys who always get the girls all have one thing in common: they truly believe in themselves. I, myself, find women with that trait to be utterly fascinating...
😛

 

[ticklisharmpits]

Thanks for all your input, guys! I'm patiently (sometimes not so patiently) waiting for that special someone. I appreciate your help! 🙂

 

[ticklisharmpits]

Steph, I am 32 years old. BTW, I don't believe you're "almost 40"! Based on your picture on Venray's Place, you look maybe "almost 30"! I mean that as a compliment, naturally! 🙂

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Well, Pits, you're definitely on your way now...😛

 

[steph]

Aw, TA, sounds like you're just shy then (a charecteristic I lack completely and find totally adorable!) You'll be fine hon, just kinda gotta "put yourself out there" ya know?

Also, don't be afraid to "exploit" (in the good way) your friends as a free dating service~they know and love you best and will probably do a better job of finding someone compatible.

And thank you for the compliment~Wow~y'all are just so sweet! Actually, everyone tells me that, but I never tire of hearing it! 😉 Mom and Dad looked way young for their age too, so I guess I got lucky genetically (plus I act like a total juvenile most of the time!)😛

Steph, I am 32 years old. BTW, I don't believe you're "almost 40"! Based on your picture on Venray's Place, you look maybe "almost 30"! I mean that as a compliment, naturally! 🙂

 

[jugner]

4 serious relationships, 4 more than me. I'm good-looking (I've been told), muscular (I lift weights), funny, and moral. The kicker, I'm in a wheelchair. Girls tell me constantly it's no big deal, but it is apparently. I've had hundreds of girls tell me all of the above qualities, only to have them say they wouldn't go out with me because they're too good of friends, they are in a relationship( even if I know they ae not), and I've even been told I'm too good a guy and they weren't as good a person as me. I know its a big thing, a lot of girls have fallen in love with my picture, only to be disappointed in person. I'm only I'm still young, but this is a problem that's always gonna be here.

The moral: Be happy for what you have

 

[jugner]

I'll go ahead and say, I read my post like an hour after I wrote it, it sounds more whiny then I intended, sorry.

 

[steph]

Jug~
I don't know how old you are and I don't know if this'll mean anything, coming from someone able-bodied...We haven't officially met so I don't know if you know anything about me, but I work with disabled patients. I work with people who are blind, bed-ridden, have mental problems, terminal cancer, HIV, amputees, you name it...Guess what? Lots of them find love.

I know when I was a LOT younger, I went thru this embarassing shallow period-like Shallow Hal! If you weren't an actor or a model, don't bother approaching me (I know, I know, what a douche bag, yes?)I've spent YEARS trying to make up for being such evil c-word. Anyway, my point? You'll find it changes as you get older, they mature, I mean. There really are girls just looking for a nice guy, I promise! (My own has gained 100 lbs since we met~does it bother me? Nope~except for the dangers to his health.)

Anyhoo, I can't pretend to imagine the challenges you face every day but I hope I've cheered you a little...One of my my very favorite patients is engaged to be married. He's a local celebrity and one of the most fantastic people you'll ever meet! Legless and wheelchair dependent since birth, he just qualified for the Boston Marathon. It's a HUGE honor~they only pick about 10 people per year!!!!

Embarassing confession #2: In high school I skated the Boston Marathon twice, my feet bled for days afterwards, I was a little more sadistic in those days. Again, my point? I couldn't finish it on my own legs in roller blades--this guy laughs thru finishing it LEGLESS!

Hang in there, your Princess will come.
XOXO

 

[maniactickler]

Ok steph, ill hang in there and wait for you. 😉

 

[steph]

I'm HERE sweetie~always for you, never left!
XOXO

 

[jugner]

Steph,

I'm 22. Still young, but when all of my friends are finding many female friends, and the women my age are mostly in a very shallow phase, it's easy to become dis-heartened.

BTW-Now we've met

 

[ticklisharmpits]

Jugner,

Thank you for your input. Yes, you are still young. I'm sorry people can be so inconsiderate and blind to who someone is on the inside. You seem like a very sweet person!

 

[steph]

Hi jug~
Ya that's still pretty young~most of your friends' girls will move on too--kind of what that age is all about, finding yourself, experiemntation, etc. (I was a class A asshole at that age.) But cheer up, the good news is, they get better with age, and luckily for you girls "catch on" MUCH sooner than guys. I have complete faith, you'll find someone awesome, hon. My wheelchair bound buddy is around 26.
Nice to meet ya, BTW! (Shakes his hand)

XOXO

Steph,

I'm 22. Still young, but when all of my friends are finding many female friends, and the women my age are mostly in a very shallow phase, it's easy to become dis-heartened.

BTW-Now we've met

 

[TummyDragon]

just some thoughts...

Ticklisharmpits,

The best suggestion I could make to you to find someone who shares your love of tickling as well as commonalities in life would be to write stories. I'm not talking about "The Multi Tentacled Alien Captures the Double Mint Twins", but romantic stories that you spill from your heart... Stories which expose your inner self and are absolutely *you* coming through the words. You'd be surprised at the private responses you will get through email or PM's, even if you don't get a single response in open forum. You can develop friendships that way which can lead to something more. It takes time for love to grow, even if immediately infatuated, so just let the natural course of growth be free to flourish through an open mind and heart. There is no doubt you have a mate out there who is longing for you just as much as you are longing for her. Believe it.

You also have to be willing to go to where you can take advantage of the possibilities. A perfect mate for you may live a thousand miles away, but, you have the advantage today of being able to find her through the internet whereas just a few years ago, you'd never have known she existed.



Jugner,
While there is no way I can comprehend the pain the rejection because of your condition has caused you, I do know that you are at an age where the females (not all of course) have a tendency to be more judgemental, even if they don't *want* to be.
What I am thinking, and it's just an idea, so take it for what it's worth, is that it may be a good idea to join a social group for people who share your condition. A woman who is also in a wheelchair should be far more understanding and accepting of you, both as a person and as a partner sharing the same challenges, but with just as big a heart and problems with rejection as yourself. I'm thinking that just maybe there is a beautiful woman in a wheelchair near you who is also experiencing the same romantic obstacles, and is dreaming of having someone like you enter her life. I'm certainly not suggesting that you can't attract a woman who isn't in a wheelchair, not at all, if it seems to come across that way, believe me, it's not my intention at all. I'm just thinking that a social group like that might allow for some wonderful fun as well as the possibility of sincere romance.

Best to both of you,
David

 

[TickledToDeath]

Patience, Persistance and be YOU no matter what anyone says, does or thinks.

Trust me on this one my friend.


TTD😎 😉

 

[ticklisharmpits]

All of you are so sweet to help me out! Thanks! 🙂