Neutron
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- Joined
- Apr 19, 2001
- Messages
- 3,862
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Subject: No sex tonight?
>
>I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
>differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
>Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head
>and women with their heart.
>
>FOR EXAMPLE:
>One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
>the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
>like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was
>that?!" So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to
>hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
>enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
>
>She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
>for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing
>that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The
>very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
>her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
>big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
>tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
>decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She
>wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
>pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she
>picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
>
>Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
>one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing
>me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
>know how to play tennis.
>
>I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, sure
>honey." I was sure she was nearing some kind of sexual satisfaction
>from all of the shopping excitement. Smiling with excited
>anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go
>to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
>"No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely
>blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
>
>I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
>while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
>enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just
>when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
>can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
>you?"
>
>Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
>
>I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
>differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
>Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head
>and women with their heart.
>
>FOR EXAMPLE:
>One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
>the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
>like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was
>that?!" So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to
>hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
>enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
>
>She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
>for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing
>that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The
>very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
>her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
>big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
>tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
>decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She
>wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
>pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she
>picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
>
>Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
>one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing
>me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
>know how to play tennis.
>
>I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, sure
>honey." I was sure she was nearing some kind of sexual satisfaction
>from all of the shopping excitement. Smiling with excited
>anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go
>to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
>"No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely
>blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
>
>I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
>while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
>enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just
>when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
>can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
>you?"
>
>Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
