I think I’m going to try to leave the TMF/tickling community. I’m going to begin deleting all of my posts, which should take me a long time, so if there’s anything you want, you should go get it now. I’m going to be starting with my oldest posts. I feel like I spend too much time and energy on this and should get a life…in fact, I already HAVE a life, I just need to attend to it as it’s a full time thing. My few friends that have been actual friends, we’ll continue to be friends and of course, I am not under a curious notion that I will stop being a person who’s into this kind’ve thing, I’m not that fargone!! Who knows? Maybe I’ll come back, probably will in fact! But I realize there’s a lot of my life right here in the TMF and that’s a little abnormal…in my particular case, I’m not talking about you at all, I don't think there's anything WRONG with being on the Forum, it's just too much with me. Obviously I’m beyond crazy and obsessive if I’m compiling, typing and attempting to maintain a huge Ticklish Celebrity list! Well, ok, so I haven’t maintained it in the last couple of years, it’s like an overgrown lawn that list! But you get the idea. And the money I spend is not only ridiculous but actually SERIOUSLY self destructive. And anyhow, what exactly is it that I'm after? How much more can I possibly need? (I know some of you DON'T have this problem, you should be blessed. And, no, I'm not getting rid of my gargantuan collection, quite the contrary!)
But also, I just wrote a nasty post in one of the forums and, though I’m leaving it up, I feel bad about it…I remember Kujman, who had been a guy who’d been around forever, “pillar of the tickling community”, etc and then he got kicked off of the TMF forever because he was getting REALLY nasty in his posts, including me when I was a young member and very nervous about posting! And now here I’m doing the same thing! Grouchy Non! Who wants that? I was supposed to do a lot today, it’s a beautiful day here in NYC, and I spent most of it typing posts! I don’t want to even think about the derogatory adjective one should use to describe such a sloth! There are other mitigating factors but I feel this is something I should at least try to do and see how far I can go! I one time gave up sex (including self-sex!), drugs, (not rock and roll!), cursing and any kind of lie, no matter how innocuous, for an entire year just to see if I had it in me to do it (I had a couple of slips but pretty much, the entire year), maybe I should apply a similar kind've discipline to myself regarding this. I was actually gone from the TMF (and all internet) for a year and got so much more done. Since I’ve had it back, it’s like lost time.
But having said that I MUST say the following: I am so grateful that I was able to happen upon this site and get over so many bad feelings about this thing....this thing that I always felt was a curse, and sometimes still do….I just read a post about a guy who “got busted” by his wife and it made me so sad, for him, for his wife, for all of us. But then Ayla posted something beautiful (go over there and see for yourself) and what she wrote was so simple and true that is was like some kind of light just turned on inside of me, and it’s not the first time I’ve gotten the feeling of acceptance but that was like the ultimate. Ayla, I love ya, you have always been an inspiration to me on this board. Something about that post was really elevating for me, so thanks.
When the TMF started, it was almost entirely guys. It was ENTIRELY /F. Look how much has changed! I can't even believe it! That there are so many females here has been a very helpful part of making myself feel not so freakish….it was like R-E-V-E-L-A-T-I-O-N, there are actually some girls that are into this. Me, I hope one day I find such a girl. I even managed to see what was hot about /M stuff and not feel like I was compromising my own masculinity! In fact, I should say this too:to the girls that are on the TMF right now....first off, I'm sorry if at any point you felt disgusted by something me or any other guy posted....we're guys, you know what I mean? It's inbuilt, just look at the animal kingdom. I never felt like you were offended, but maybe you just kept quiet, maybe you felt outnumbered by the men. I've never felt like I DIDN'T say something I wanted to say because there were women around...in fact, as I was just saying to another member in an email I wrote, when I'm posting I'm almost ALWAYS posting as a guy talking to another guy, it doesn't even cross my mind that a girl is reading and may be offended by my objectifying her _____ (insert choice female body part here!). Anyhow, maybe I didn't need to say that, the guys may all come down on me, sorry boys! I will say guys gotta be guys, otherwise we're repressed and we ALL know what that's like, don't we!
I don’t feel bad about my thing anymore, and lots of my friends know about it. No one cares. Most find it interesting, imaginative and original. In fact, I once told my band in an extremely offhand matter right before a gig once and they all cracked up and thought it was great! One time, another friend of mine’s eyes got wide open and said ‘Hey! That sounds great!” I told them I had probably one of the biggest collections of tickling material on video in the entire world and they were very impressed and intrigued. (I know there are people with a bigger collection than mine, I was just saying it for effect! And by the way, I don't think I could actually show them such a video!)
You know, I’ve seen many of these kinds of posts before and always thought, that could never be me! I’m finding myself surprised but resolved! I definitely didn’t wake up this morning and think today I’m leaving the TMF. And I’m not out of here in 10 minutes, I’m seriously going to delete every last post and that will take me some time. If I come back, it’ll be under a new name, though I’m sure you’ll recognize my inimitable style…hyper, enthusiastic, lots of words in caps and exclamation points as if I’m shouting at you! I'm EXACTLY the same way in real life, when I speak. You'd probably be exhausted!
Anyhow, I just posted this so that if anyone wanted something I might have posted they can have a chance to get it. In fact, since I've got to go shortly, I'm going to start tomorrow so that you guys can have a head start. I’m starting with my oldest posts first.
With much love and affection
-Michael.
PS-I'd prefer if the celeb list be also taken down from under my name, and maybe someone else can go through it, clean it up and repost it. I've got all the information ready to go for a major update, it just needs someone to do it. If anyone wants to take over this "job", email me at [email protected] and I'll give you all the information I've been saving up for the last 2 years!
PSS-I don't know that I'm going to be stopping trades so all my mainstream trading partners, you are very welcome to continue emailing with me and keeping in the loop with anything especially great. In fact, I'd appreciate it, after all, it's not total isolation I'm looking for!
But also, I just wrote a nasty post in one of the forums and, though I’m leaving it up, I feel bad about it…I remember Kujman, who had been a guy who’d been around forever, “pillar of the tickling community”, etc and then he got kicked off of the TMF forever because he was getting REALLY nasty in his posts, including me when I was a young member and very nervous about posting! And now here I’m doing the same thing! Grouchy Non! Who wants that? I was supposed to do a lot today, it’s a beautiful day here in NYC, and I spent most of it typing posts! I don’t want to even think about the derogatory adjective one should use to describe such a sloth! There are other mitigating factors but I feel this is something I should at least try to do and see how far I can go! I one time gave up sex (including self-sex!), drugs, (not rock and roll!), cursing and any kind of lie, no matter how innocuous, for an entire year just to see if I had it in me to do it (I had a couple of slips but pretty much, the entire year), maybe I should apply a similar kind've discipline to myself regarding this. I was actually gone from the TMF (and all internet) for a year and got so much more done. Since I’ve had it back, it’s like lost time.
But having said that I MUST say the following: I am so grateful that I was able to happen upon this site and get over so many bad feelings about this thing....this thing that I always felt was a curse, and sometimes still do….I just read a post about a guy who “got busted” by his wife and it made me so sad, for him, for his wife, for all of us. But then Ayla posted something beautiful (go over there and see for yourself) and what she wrote was so simple and true that is was like some kind of light just turned on inside of me, and it’s not the first time I’ve gotten the feeling of acceptance but that was like the ultimate. Ayla, I love ya, you have always been an inspiration to me on this board. Something about that post was really elevating for me, so thanks.
When the TMF started, it was almost entirely guys. It was ENTIRELY /F. Look how much has changed! I can't even believe it! That there are so many females here has been a very helpful part of making myself feel not so freakish….it was like R-E-V-E-L-A-T-I-O-N, there are actually some girls that are into this. Me, I hope one day I find such a girl. I even managed to see what was hot about /M stuff and not feel like I was compromising my own masculinity! In fact, I should say this too:to the girls that are on the TMF right now....first off, I'm sorry if at any point you felt disgusted by something me or any other guy posted....we're guys, you know what I mean? It's inbuilt, just look at the animal kingdom. I never felt like you were offended, but maybe you just kept quiet, maybe you felt outnumbered by the men. I've never felt like I DIDN'T say something I wanted to say because there were women around...in fact, as I was just saying to another member in an email I wrote, when I'm posting I'm almost ALWAYS posting as a guy talking to another guy, it doesn't even cross my mind that a girl is reading and may be offended by my objectifying her _____ (insert choice female body part here!). Anyhow, maybe I didn't need to say that, the guys may all come down on me, sorry boys! I will say guys gotta be guys, otherwise we're repressed and we ALL know what that's like, don't we!
I don’t feel bad about my thing anymore, and lots of my friends know about it. No one cares. Most find it interesting, imaginative and original. In fact, I once told my band in an extremely offhand matter right before a gig once and they all cracked up and thought it was great! One time, another friend of mine’s eyes got wide open and said ‘Hey! That sounds great!” I told them I had probably one of the biggest collections of tickling material on video in the entire world and they were very impressed and intrigued. (I know there are people with a bigger collection than mine, I was just saying it for effect! And by the way, I don't think I could actually show them such a video!)
You know, I’ve seen many of these kinds of posts before and always thought, that could never be me! I’m finding myself surprised but resolved! I definitely didn’t wake up this morning and think today I’m leaving the TMF. And I’m not out of here in 10 minutes, I’m seriously going to delete every last post and that will take me some time. If I come back, it’ll be under a new name, though I’m sure you’ll recognize my inimitable style…hyper, enthusiastic, lots of words in caps and exclamation points as if I’m shouting at you! I'm EXACTLY the same way in real life, when I speak. You'd probably be exhausted!
Anyhow, I just posted this so that if anyone wanted something I might have posted they can have a chance to get it. In fact, since I've got to go shortly, I'm going to start tomorrow so that you guys can have a head start. I’m starting with my oldest posts first.
With much love and affection
-Michael.
PS-I'd prefer if the celeb list be also taken down from under my name, and maybe someone else can go through it, clean it up and repost it. I've got all the information ready to go for a major update, it just needs someone to do it. If anyone wants to take over this "job", email me at [email protected] and I'll give you all the information I've been saving up for the last 2 years!
PSS-I don't know that I'm going to be stopping trades so all my mainstream trading partners, you are very welcome to continue emailing with me and keeping in the loop with anything especially great. In fact, I'd appreciate it, after all, it's not total isolation I'm looking for!
you're pretty beautiful yourself.
