Not to sound "Emo"... but

[PainTrain]

Is love really worth it's benefits? I've been in love with someone for a long, long time. I recently found out that they don't feel the same way. They love me, but not in the way that I love them.

No matter how many times I try to pound that into my stupid head, it doesn't matter. I can't even THINK of having a relationship/sex with anyone else. When I DO have sex, I can't get into it unless I imagine it's said person. I don't want to feel this way; I've never felt this way before.


It's like a prison.



Anyone else feel the same?

 

[911]

Ya I felt that way once but now I'd settle for someone else, when your lonely enough your standards drop.

 

[maniactickler]

Love is over rated for sure.

 

[Goodieluver]

"Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love."

 

[chicago]

No, but time heals all wounds.

You'll get over it. They all do.

 

[Saeria]

maybe i'm just pissed at the world but screw love, it's seriously overrated. I'm starting to think the whole friends with benefits package is a more suitable deal, you get all your carnal needs met without the disappointment.

 

[kis123]

maybe i'm just pissed at the world but screw love, it's seriously overrated. I'm starting to think the whole friends with benefits package is a more suitable deal, you get all your carnal needs met without the disappointment.

Now if someone shows me how to get my physical needs met and shut off the emotional attachment to it, I'd be the happiest woman on earth!!! I wish I could have sex without love; I sometimes envy those who are able.

Gremio, I know EXACTLY how you feel! I know how it feels to fall for someone who doesn't love you. My personal favorite is the "we can be friends" line. How in hell am I supposed to be freinds with you and I'm in love with you? I simply find that kind of logic insane!

What can you do?? Let me know when you come up with the answers!

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Hang in there, Gremio. Spring will spring anew in your life. It's just gonna take a bit of time. Before spring, there is winter.

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I know how it feels to fall for someone who doesn't love you. My personal favorite is the "we can be friends" line. How in hell am I supposed to be freinds with you and I'm in love with you? I simply find that kind of logic insane!

Ditto. "Drop Dead" is so much more honest 😀

 

[drew70]

I've been right where you are, Gremio. Spent many years there in fact. And it's a cold and lonely place to be. I can only say, that time and circumstance can change almost any situation. They changed mine for the better, and I hope they change yours as well.

 

[locker669]

You can't look for love and expect to find it. You can't force it either.

It's obvious to you now that she wasn't the one.

 

[steph]

Love comes in many different forms, there's so many~are you sure this is love and not obsession and if yes, how come?
XOXO

 

[PainTrain]

Love comes in many different forms, there's so many~are you sure this is love and not obsession and if yes, how come?
XOXO

is there a difference between the two? Not being a smartass, I just always associated those two terms.

 

[steph]

There is m'sweets. Actually, they're quite separate things. Obsession means you'd live and die FOR them. When it's love, you live and die WITH them. Do you see the distinction?
XOXO

is there a difference between the two? Not being a smartass, I just always associated those two terms.

 

[PainTrain]

There is m'sweets. Actually, they're quite separate things. Obsession means you'd live and die FOR them. When it's love, you live and die WITH them. Do you see the distinction?
XOXO

I suppose it's a little of both, although I want to live and die with this person, since that is beyond all possibility now, I can say right now that I am living FOR them, at least thats how it feels. It'll probably pass, sonner rather than later I hope. Accepting the fact that there is nothing there, is the part that I can't seem to get over. I don't feel that I'll ever really STOP wanting this person. That is the trap I don't want to fall into.

 

[steph]

Think of it like a street Grem. When it's 2 way, the (love) feelings are mutual. When it's one-way (obsession), yikes!
Maybe try accepting the fact that you DESERVE to have the love returned to you?

XOXO

 

[Saeria]

Think of it like a street Grem. When it's 2 way, the (love) feelings are mutual. When it's one-way (obsession), yikes!
Maybe try accepting the fact that you DESERVE to have the love returned to you?

XOXO

i would like to second this thought, even though my previous post in this thread pretty much shows that i've taken on a somewhat cynical view of the reality of my thoughts.
I always imagined love to be a reciprocating emotional, physical and spiritual gestalt between two people. Two people, on their own may function separately but inherently function under a greater purpose as said gestalt.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Love is just natures way of convincing you to have sex.

I'm too much of a rationalist to believe in it.

 

[MrPartickler]

Love is just natures way of convincing you to have sex.

Man, that IS rational. I love it!! 😀

 

[kis123]

Love is just natures way of convincing you to have sex.

I'm too much of a rationalist to believe in it.

Too many people having sex without love feelings attached for me to buy into this rationale.

But I will agree that for some, love is a natural precursor to sex or sex is a natural precursor to love. Depends on when the sex started.

Didn't mean to de-rationalize (if such word exists), just adding in a couple of cents. This and and about 50 cents might buy you a cup of coffee in today's economy! 😎

 

[steph]

I appreciate that.
Me, I was always a love junkie 😛 but growing older, losing friends, working in a hospital has made it more intense, the appreciation for the amazing friends I have and adore. The ride here is short and too many take it for granted. I don't know Grem IRL but he's always struck me as a decent guy with a kind heart and thoughtful posts. I like to see people I consider friends happy, cheesy, I know but there ya have it!
XOXO

i would like to second this thought, even though my previous post in this thread pretty much shows that i've taken on a somewhat cynical view of the reality of my thoughts.
I always imagined love to be a reciprocating emotional, physical and spiritual gestalt between two people. Two people, on their own may function separately but inherently function under a greater purpose as said gestalt.

 

[PainTrain]

I appreciate that.
Me, I was always a love junkie 😛 but growing older, losing friends, working in a hospital has made it more intense, the appreciation for the amazing friends I have and adore. The ride here is short and too many take it for granted. I don't know Grem IRL but he's always struck me as a decent guy with a kind heart and thoughtful posts. I like to see people I consider friends happy, cheesy, I know but there ya have it!
XOXO

Thank you so much for your support, Steph. I see the point you have made with the whole "street" analogy. It's just hard to accept that this person wants nothing to do with me, in that regard. It just hurts. But it's something I suppose I will get over.

 

[steph]

You are welcome dear heart.
Yanno, there's an old saying: you can't FORCE someone to love you.

And if you had to, why would you want this person in the first place? Use your time and energy to find someone who's worthy of your affections!
XOXO

Thank you so much for your support, Steph. I see the point you have made with the whole "street" analogy. It's just hard to accept that this person wants nothing to do with me, in that regard. It just hurts. But it's something I suppose I will get over.

 

[kis123]

Thank you so much for your support, Steph. I see the point you have made with the whole "street" analogy. It's just hard to accept that this person wants nothing to do with me, in that regard. It just hurts. But it's something I suppose I will get over.

Baby, I have been there and the last time was quite recent. I know EXACTLY how you feel and I know it doesn't take the sting or the pain away.

I will say this much, love usually occurs when you least expect it or when you're not looking for it. Now I would like to suggest (not that you asked for advice, btw) that you clear your heart so when love comes along, you'll be ready for it.

It's not something you get over, it's something you live with to remind you how much mistaken you were when the right one comes along. You sound like a great guy and I know that special someone is out there who deserves the love you have to give. You'll be writing to us all about it soon; that is unless you'll be too busy............

 

[steph]

Steph has TOTALLY got it nailed.

I'm so in love with life. I embrace it, good and bad. You have to.

 

[steph]

It do...
XOXO

Yeah, I think we're on the same wavelength these days....

I can only hope more people join us! Seems like the old days doesn't it?

Kitten