Figured this was a good time to post this, after reading about yet another case of fatal road rage yesterday...
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW YORK
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A
real New York driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe
distance between you and the car in front of you, or
the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the
smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop
sign. No one expects it and it will result in you
being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs
extensive bodywork. New York is a no-fault insurance
state and the other guy doesn't have anything to
lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as
possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a
nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a
chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the
right. It's a good way to scare people entering the
highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as
a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in
New York during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no
room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a
New York driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an
accident or even someone changing a tire.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. New York is the home
of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State
Highway Department, which puts potholes in key
locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on
their toes.
12. It is traditional in New York to honk your horn
at cars that don't move the instant the light turns
green.
13. Remember that the goal of every New York driver
is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
14. In the New York area, 'flipping someone the
bird' is considered a polite New York salute. This
gesture should always be returned.
Q
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW YORK
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A
real New York driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe
distance between you and the car in front of you, or
the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the
smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop
sign. No one expects it and it will result in you
being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs
extensive bodywork. New York is a no-fault insurance
state and the other guy doesn't have anything to
lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as
possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a
nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a
chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the
right. It's a good way to scare people entering the
highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as
a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in
New York during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no
room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a
New York driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an
accident or even someone changing a tire.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. New York is the home
of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State
Highway Department, which puts potholes in key
locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on
their toes.
12. It is traditional in New York to honk your horn
at cars that don't move the instant the light turns
green.
13. Remember that the goal of every New York driver
is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
14. In the New York area, 'flipping someone the
bird' is considered a polite New York salute. This
gesture should always be returned.
Q
