A man walks into a bar, and the first thing he notices is that there's a horse standing in a small corral in the corner. A little confused by this, he walks up to the bar and asks about it.
"Oh, that? Yeah, he's our moneymaker, him! See, customers can pay five bucks to go over and try to make that horse laugh. But the thing is, he's never laughed in his entire life, no matter what." And sure enough, the bartender gestured towards a few large jars, absolutely packed with five dollar bills. "If you manage to make him laugh, though, you win all this cash!"
The man regards the overflowing jars of money, then shrugs. "Ehh, why the hell not? I'll give it a shot." He wedges another five-spot into one of the jars and walks over to the horse. The other patrons watch him with interest, snickering a little as they wonder what he's going to try and eager to watch him fail.
But to everyone's astonishment, the man leans in and whispers something into the horse's ear--and five seconds later, the animal is rolling on the floor, laughing like a madman. Everyone watches with wide eyes as the man returns to the bar, claims his prize money, and walks out.
A week later the man returns. The horse is still there, and there are even more jars on the bar, once again full to bursting with bills.
When he asks about the new money, the bartender explains: "Well, ever since you made him laugh, that horse has been happy as a clam, so I thought up a new challenge. Now you can pay ten dollars to go over and try and make him cry--he's never cried in his life, either, and now that he's so happy, it'll be even harder. But if you can manage it, all this dough is yours."
The man nods and pulls a ten dollar bill out of his pocket, sticking it into one of the jars before striding confidently over to the horse in the corner. A moment later, everyone is once again shocked as the horse suddenly bursts into tears, bawling his eyes out.
The man walks back over to the bar to take this second load of money, but is angrily stopped by the bartender. "Now see here, mister! That horse has never laughed or cried--EVER--in his entire life, and then you just waltz on in here and make him do both in the space of a week! I wanna know just what the hell you did to him!"
The man then calmly explains: "Well you see, last week, when I made him laugh? It was really very simple. I just told him that my penis was bigger than his."
Everyone in earshot starts to laugh, including the bartender. "Hahaha! Well, that IS pretty funny! Heh, but what about just now? How'd you make him cry?"
At this the man smiles wryly and says, "Today? I showed him."
