OK. I hve to get this off my chest.

[texastickler]

Due to a recent post I read and responded to, I want to say something and ask a few questions.

My friends here at TMF. I love tickling, love to be tickled. I always feel great afterward and I hope that my willing, 'lee does also. Let me say that again, "My willing 'Lee."

I am a sensitve human being. Out of my two siblings I have this idea that it is my job to care about others as much as possible and I hope to simply make a difference in someones life. Just to let them know I am here for them and I care.

A friendly tickle fight is a lot of fun. Shows affection to a person through physical contact. When does sensitivity to anothers feelings and emotions get thrown out the window just becuse you want to tickle them? When does no simply mean "NO."

Understand that I am not jumping on someones case here. I love the people here and I have come to know some of you through communication. This post does not reflect an entire community.

Tickling has a time and place I believe. Friendship and love just simply out weigh the need for tickling. People need to support one another and form kinships. Enjoy the person first in other words.

If someone were to come to me and say they had an issue and needed support, the only physical contact I would make is to give that person a big hug or to simply put an arm around their shoulder.

Am I way off base here? I just simply had to get this out. I hope that this did not annot anyone but as many know, I say what I feel. I never bottle up my emotions or thoughts. I hope you can respect that. Thanks for reading this. Have a great week everyone.

 

[rhiannon]

Very very very well said!

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Whether it be a hug or a tickle, one's intent when they put his or her hands on said friend determines the level of appropriateness.

 

[rhiannon]

Yeah...and if the tickle just happens because you want to tickle the friend, then it is inappropriate when the friend comes to you for support, I think that is what texastickler is trying to say!

If you know the friend likes to be tickled and will be cheered up by it - that's different! But I really don't know anybody who wants to be tickled when they are sad or mad.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Yeah...and if the tickle just happens because you want to tickle the friend, then it is inappropriate when the friend comes to you for support, I think that is what texastickler is trying to say!

If you know the friend likes to be tickled and will be cheered up by it - that's different! But I really don't know anybody who wants to be tickled when they are sad or mad.

I understand that Rhiannon. I was merely stating that it is inappropriate to put your hands on someone with mal-intent regardless of the method of comforting.

I read the other post regarding the two friends. Did he force himself on her to make out? Did she enjoy hooking up with her friend? Was it her intent to play the rebound role in order to make out with her guy friend? I am not sure...I wasn't there.

 

[texastickler]

Yeah...and if the tickle just happens because you want to tickle the friend, then it is inappropriate when the friend comes to you for support, I think that is what texastickler is trying to say!

If you know the friend likes to be tickled and will be cheered up by it - that's different! But I really don't know anybody who wants to be tickled when they are sad or mad.

That is it exactly. I am so glad I made sense. Showing affection to someone that is pain is the most improtant thing there is. I have one example of a time when my best friend and his girlfriend broke up. She came to me bawling and very sad. We talked for almost two hours until I had her calmed down. She later put her arm around me and simply said, "Thanks." Tickling was not even on my mind. I knew she was ticklish, but it was not an important aspect at the time. Making sure someone I had come to know and love was OK was my objective.

Thanks Rhiannon

 

[hotdog]

I'm really surprised that there is a second thread over the post made by JFire. There was clearly not enough information provided to morally reprimand him, yet based on a short description many assumed to know the intimate details and draw whatever conclusion they wanted. Even if it may "seem" one way to someone reading his post, it is not conclusive in any way, and therefore the criticisms and other negative comments aren't warranted.

 

[rhiannon]

I understand that Rhiannon. I was merely stating that it is inappropriate to put your hands on someone with mal-intent regardless of the method of comforting.

That is very true.

About the other post, I simply felt like tickling was forced into the conversation too much. First asking if she's ticklish. Then asking where, although she sounded apprehensive when saying yes....you know, it just felt like the person was insisting on the topic, and nothing was said about the reaction of the girl. That's why it felt inappropriate to me.

texastickler, you are making perfect sense. 🙂

 

[Knot Amewzed]

That is it exactly. I am so glad I made sense. Showing affection to someone that is pain is the most improtant thing there is. I have one example of a time when my best friend and his girlfriend broke up. She came to me bawling and very sad. We talked for almost two hours until I had her calmed down. She later put her arm around me and simply said, "Thanks." Tickling was not even on my mind. I knew she was ticklish, but it was not an important aspect at the time. Making sure someone I had come to know and love was OK was my objective.

Thanks Rhiannon

I agree; you are both morally correct. I, too, would never even consider doing such a thing to my friend in need. I was just pointing out that we do not know the true intentions of both parties. She did have at least half to do with the make out, no? How do we know that her misery wasn't a cry for attention? I tend to look upon things from all angles. I apologize if I sound too calculated.

 

[texastickler]

I understand that Rhiannon. I was merely stating that it is inappropriate to put your hands on someone with mal-intent regardless of the method of comforting.

I read the other post regarding the two friends. Did he force himself on her to make out? Did she enjoy hooking up with her friend? Was it her intent to play the rebound role in order to make out with her guy friend? I am not sure...I wasn't there.

I understand your point. Just listening instead of acting is another way to handle this. I will always make contact with someone that is in pain. I want to hug everyone. Its just me. I think it important in some cases to let them make that first move. Some people just hate to be touched by others. If they were to say to me, "Please don't," or to simply pull away I would be respectful of that. Thanks for your thoughts Knot.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Texas, that is a fine sentiment and I'm sure everyone agrees with it.

I think what you're interpreting as disagreement with your point (in the other thread) is not actually disagreement, but rather disagreement over whether or not your sentiment is actually relevent to a particular case.

I also think you shouldn't take advantage of people. Just make sure to distinguish between people who believe it's right to take advantage of others, and people who argue that in a certain case, nobody was taken advantage of. Big difference.

 

[Black Hat]

The problem with said post is that there was enough there to cause others to believe the interaction was innappropriate. None of us were there, and yet if we're led to believe things happened a certain way, then we all stand together with Texas, Rhiannon, Knot, et al.

 

[LD_Tickler]

The problem with said post is that there was enough there to cause others to believe the interaction was innappropriate. None of us were there, and yet if we're led to believe things happened a certain way, then we all stand together with Texas, Rhiannon, Knot, et al.

There absolutely was not enough there to come to an informed conclusion. The problem was just the opposite: there were so little details, people picked up on whatever they wanted to and filled in the rest of the story according to their imagination.

But as to not hijack this thread, then yes I believe everyone stands with Texas in his opinions.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Generally speaking, such strong reaction to a relatively ambiguous situation is usually the result of either extreme envy or a guilty conscience. It might be best to reflect on which category you fall into and why.

 

[vladtickleman22]

Generally speaking, such strong reaction to a relatively ambiguous situation is usually the result of either extreme envy or a guilty conscience. It might be best to reflect on which category you fall into and why.

Or he feels very strongly that it was wrong to do.

 

[primetime]

texastickler,

Good sentiment and all, but in the other thread, there isn't enough details. Reading what the guy put, they were fooling around. He didn't say "as she was crying and trying to verbalize her pain with the breakup, i asked her if she was ticklish.". They were fooling around, which means they BOTH were having a good time. If the interactions is a positive one, why NOT ask the question? It's another way to lighten the already positive mood.

Again, if the guy said "I grabbed her ankle and tickled her foot as she was crying her eyes out to make her feel better!", then you should give the negative judgemental responses.

The point is, people should not be so quick to judgement until they know the SPECIFIC details. You and others made a quick judgement to the other posters situation. How wrong is that?

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Or he feels very strongly that it was wrong to do.

Shall we put you down for envy then Vlad, because something tells me that for you, a guilty conscience may be a bit premature?

 

[LD_Tickler]

Shall we put you down for envy then Vlad, because something tells me that for you, a guilty conscience may be a bit premature?

Actually, Vlad's comment was totally valid. While it's completely possible that a person reacting harshly to another is motivated by guilt or envy, it's also possible that he's not. I'm not exactly sure why you think one is more likely than the other.

 

[texastickler]

Hey everyone. Thank You for your comments. As I stated before, this was not a slam on any one. It just brought op a thought that pertained to the afore mentioned post. There was truly not a lot of info there and I agree with that. My thinking process here was just to see what others felt about this type of situation. How would you handle it? By what that post said however, it would sound as if though someone were taking advantage of someone at a low point. The gal in question could have been insecure. I do not know that but it would seem that very well could have been the case. Would you want this to happen to you? Again, it was something I had to say and I feel better just saying it. Thanks again to everyone that has posted a response to this thread. I appreciate your honesty and opinions. I would want you all no other way.

 

[vladtickleman22]

Shall we put you down for envy then Vlad, because something tells me that for you, a guilty conscience may be a bit premature?

You can go read my post in that thread to find out what i think. I feel sorry for you that things always have to be black or white. I really hope you learn life has a grey area. There can be more then a few answers for things.

Actually, Vlad's comment was totally valid. While it's completely possible that a person reacting harshly to another is motivated by guilt or envy, it's also possible that he's not. I'm not exactly sure why you think one is more likely than the other.

Go read his posts in P&R. He likes to stir shit up nothing more.

 

[texastickler]

I'm really surprised that there is a second thread over the post made by JFire. There was clearly not enough information provided to morally reprimand him, yet based on a short description many assumed to know the intimate details and draw whatever conclusion they wanted. Even if it may "seem" one way to someone reading his post, it is not conclusive in any way, and therefore the criticisms and other negative comments aren't warranted.

Hey my friend. I absolutely agree with you. Please do not misunderstand me. I am certainly not attacking this guy. It simply brought to mind all of the scenarios that come with a post like this. It would disturb me if someone was taking advantage of a hard situation. Someone comes to you because they are distraught and you take advantage of the situation for your own personal interest. I am not saying that is what happened in this case but without more detainls are we sure it was not the case. I just wanted to bring out this topic and see what others thought about it all. JFire had the right to post what he did. Everyone has different feeling and thoughts and it is what makes up a great forum like this. Thanks for sharing your feelings on this subject.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Actually, Vlad's comment was totally valid. While it's completely possible that a person reacting harshly to another is motivated by guilt or envy, it's also possible that he's not. I'm not exactly sure why you think one is more likely than the other.

As I pointed out originally the situation as presented was ambiguous at best. But you’re right LD, I failed to identify a third possibility; that being the desire to increase your TMF post count. Thanks for assisting in identifying the omission.

 

[LD_Tickler]

As I pointed out originally the situation as presented was ambiguous at best. But you’re right LD, I failed to identify a third possibility; that being the desire to increase your TMF post count. Thanks for assisting in identifying the omission.

Oh, I made the very first comment in the thread about how ambiguous the post was, and how all the judging was completely uncalled for. I'm in complete agreement there. That doesn't mean people can't simply be mistaken. I would argue that some who were being unjustifiably judgemental were sincere in their opinions - that is, at least potentially unmotivated by envy, guilt, or post count agendas - but still mistaken.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Oh, I made the very first comment in the thread about how ambiguous the post was, and how all the judging was completely uncalled for. I'm in complete agreement there. That doesn't mean people can't simply be mistaken. I would argue that some who were being unjustifiably judgemental were sincere in their opinions - that is, at least potentially unmotivated by envy, guilt, or post count agendas - but still mistaken.

Don’t kid yourself, actions; even those as seemingly benign as a forum post are driven by a personal agenda, some just being more insidious than others.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Don’t kid yourself, actions; even those as seemingly benign as a forum post are driven by a personal agenda, some just being more insidious than others.

The idea that somebody sincerely, although mistakenly, believed that he was taking advantage of her and was compelled to speak against it is in no way at odds with this claim. The desire to preach morality, unmotivated by guilt or envy, exists.