Physically And Emotionally Exhausted, We Stagger Home

[Mitchell]

Eighteen Days.

Yes, for anyone who has been following the latest hospitalization for my mom, that is how long it was when she was finally released today.

Of course, it was complete with the usual setbacks, near death cliffhangers, fights and threats from, and to, doctors, etc, etc etc.

How it goes is that my internist is part of a group of part office drs and part hospital. He does office, they do hospital.

While some of the doctors and nurse practicioners who saw us in the last three weeks were kind, others were abrasive, rude, and downright cruel.

One Dr, who we had never met before, my assistant's internist, waltzed into my mom's room, and, without even knowing our case, us, the situation with the cancer Drs in NJ, and knowing she had not yet had a body scan, shot off by saying "You have to be realistic. Cancer is a degenerative disease. You arent any better, you arent going to get any better, and you will get worse".

Nice, huh?

I promptly reported the SOB to the hospital case workers for unprofessional conduct.

My mom is weak, her breathing has issues, and she has a walker. She has appts in Lancaster over the next few weeks, plus the ones in NJ, and the body scan.

So, hopefully, we are home. I pray this time is more permanent. I have missed my friends, and all of baseball season.

As always, I appreciate the support I have gotten, and I wanted to let everyone know I am hopefully back

Mitch.

 

[Bothersome]

You did the right thing by reporting the doctor.

A) People have gotten better over the course of cancer treatment(so I've heard, at any rate- this is mostly an assertion.), so his statement seems to be factually incorrect.

B) Doctor's are supposed to present something called 'bedside manner'. He should look it up sometime.

 

[General Zod]

Welcome back friend. 🙂

 

[Angel_2]

Glad to see your back, that "doctor" is a jerk and an asshole glad you repoted him. prayers and well wishes to you both.

 

[kurchatovium]

Glad you are back my friend. You did the right thing by reporting that jerk doctor. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, everyone.

Bothersome, I agree with what you said. This "Doctor". (I use the term loosely) showed absolutely no bedside manner. I believe that while doctors have to be "realistic" for medical purposes, they also should not be fatalists, unless, God Forbid, the situation is truly terminal, and every treatment has been exhausted. That was not the case here. Additionally, I was doubly infuriated because this doctor had no concrete information to base his statement on, as my mom has not had her body scan yet.

I will say that I am very concerned that she went straight to bed, is feeling very weak, and has not eaten since we returned home tonight. I'm going to keep close watch on her, of course. If God Forbid she continues to feel this way, I will then contact her cancer doctors, who do not have the same manner as the doctor I described previously, and whom we trust.

Mitch

 

[unclebill]

Keep the faith, my friend.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, bill. I'm trying to, bud.

Mitch

 

[maniactickler]

Hang in there. tough road ahead, but you can do it.

 

[GQguy]

This is rough. I've been following your story closely and i'm very fearful that in the next couple of decades I'll have similar experiences.

You're in my thoughts man. I'm curious. At this point is there anything she likes? A food, a past time, certain company....anything? If that's the case I'd focus on that and make her as happy as possible.

GQ

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Mitchell, awwww I am so sorry. 🙁🙁 🙁 I had hoped your mother might be getting well and feeling better soon-on her way to a slow but steady great recovery. Sadly that doesn't sound like that is happening, just the opposite of that. I am so sorry Mitchell. I also have been reading/following this story about your mother's battles with fighting against this cancer. I feel so sad and feel for you. i am sorry this is happening to you-I hoped this might have a happy ending-but looks like it might not. I mean don't lose hope and definitely don't throw in the towel yet-try to keep the faith-but sadly it looks like God might be ready to call your mother home soon-needs another special angel up there. Like so many have said-I echo this-make her comfortable, cherish the time you have left with her-try to make the most of every moment-let her know you love her-there for her-more than ever that is all she wants and needs right now. You will be in my thoughts and prayers also Mitchell-God bless you and your mother/family and friends-loved ones-may God bring your mother-all of you peace and comfort during this tragically sad time. I am here for you Mitchell. Hugs.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, maniac, Yes, i'm trying to hang in, and yes I know it might be a tough road ahead.

Thanks, GQ. One of her favorite things is to go to the casino. We may do that once she gets stronger.


ticklebunny, thanks for your prayers, but one part of your post does upset me.

You say : "God might be ready to call her home".

I want to make very clear that the potential life threatening problem she had, was that they feared she had developed a blood clot in her lung, from either the cancer, or the radiation. THAT was the problem we had in the hospital, and NOT the cancer. Thankfully, she didnt have a blood clot.

To the best of my knowledge,. from everything the doctors have told me, she isn't anywhere close to death with the cancer, so I think your post is way too premature, and I would appreciate if you would not make predictions like the one you did. The doctors arent at that point at all, so a post like that is inappropriate at this stage.

Mitch

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Mitch, please know I meant and I mean no harm. Ok maybe when I said this, sadly concluded this could be the case-it was bit premature. I am sorry for this. Right now I am going to apologize for that and the recent post I made-I did mention I do hope your mother's story with cancer-medical problems she is sadly enduring right now-also I am glad to hear she did not end up having a blood clot in her lung-I really do hope and pray-really do that this will be a happy story for you and your mother Mitch. I want that more than anything for you. I will say right now-I am not trying to make premature medical predictions-I mean no harm when I say hopefully she will have a quick steady recovery or if she can not be healed in time-maybe God wants to make her another angel-might be ready to call her home-I mean no hurt/or harm by this. If you concluded that I am sorry-I will be more clear.🙁 More than anything Mitch I want this to be a happy ending for your mother and you. I have followed your story-all your threads and posts about your mother's battles with cancer/medical troubles. You are a really sweet great guy-seem very nice-always have struck me that way-very friendly and kind. I want a happy ending for your mom and you above all else-fervently hope and pray this will be so. Not trying to make premature medical predictions-sorry if my kind wish for God to take away her pain make her an angel if he is not able to heal her-disturbed/hurt you. I did not mean for that. 🙁

I really do hope and pray God will heal your mother-take away her cancer-help her heal /help lessen/or take away her medical troubles-prevent and keep the blood clots from happening. I want nothing but the best for her Mitch. You should know that, surprised you doubted my sincerity-well wishes-only the best wishes for her. Sorry I was just thinking of right now sadly your mother battles with cancer and going through radiation-medical struggles-misery she must be enduring. I try to be and think positive but sadly I have had some very heartbreaking and sad things happen in my life recently in the last few years. I will try to be more optimistic in future. May God be with you both and bring you comfort, I am sorry I disturbed/upset you Mitch, not by design, never want that.🙁

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for clarifying that. I appreciate it. I know you meant no harm. I just wanted to explain that even though she is sick, no one said anything about death yet. The doctors feel she is just enduring a rough time.

I'm sorry about my post in the other thread. Hopefully this one clarifies it.

Mitch

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Thanks Mitch. I appreciate that. Yeah I thought I would clarify what I said-I did not want you to misunderstand/misinterpret my sentiment behind what I had said. I hope you are not still upset with me. I did not mean to upset you-mean no harm to you Mitch. Right now I know you are going through a really rough time-last thing you need is to hear sad pre-mature predictions-real sorry about that. Just sadly since my grandfather died February 16 2009 hip surgery-second one he had done-he was 80-sadly complication he sadly died-I tend to see/think the worst when it comes to hospitals and medical procedures-illnesses. Since before he died that night-couple days before that after surgery-he was talking and laughing my mom told me-she had been in the room with him-suddenly within a few hrs of that first day after surgery-things sadly went downhill-metal bolt in his hip-sadly the surgeon before this surgeon-years ago sadly did not fasten it tight enough-sadly it came loose in surgery-long story short-he got septess of the blood-body shut down and he fought long and hard-sadly he passed away-went home to Heaven that night.

It was so difficult so suddenly he had been talking and laughing-suddenly few hours later-went downhill-so sudden. You got to understand besides my grandpa having cancer-he fought hard-omission he was doing fine-radiation therapy treatment sessions and taking medicine for it-wheel chair-he was pretty healthy. So when I lost my grandpa that night- I was devastated-last time I had spoke to him had been on the phone-I remember telling him I loved him, really do love you-good luck w surgery and asking how he was doing-he said I am still kicking, asked if he was bit scared-he said "oh nothing really be scared about-ok maybe a little bit-if I was not a little afraid that would be something huh." "But don't you worry I am going to be just fine-soon when hip is done-I will be walking the fairs and walking around again-watch you karaoke" I remember saying to him that night before surgery-"Grandpa I don't know are you sure you should do this. I don't know I am scared for you, scared might not be a good idea. Sure you want to do this." He said "Sure I do. I want to do this, tired of this wheel chair, I want to be up walking and moving around again, don't you worry Jan." "You worry too much, I love you everything is going to be fine-you will see" I remember that week before I had some bad dreams-about him having surgery-sadly something bad happening. However to make long story short-my grandpa was determined to go through with it, he did- I think the saddest part-he hooked to machines-respirator to breathe, sadly I could not get to talk with him/him talk to rest of us, hardest part-but he was so happy to see us all-we knew he loved us-we could feel it-also feel it when he would smile and squeeze our hands-brave to the end he was. Sorry for the long tangent.

I guess what I am saying is sadly I tend to think negatively/worry a lot when it comes to a person, especially those I care about /love having medical procedures, especially surgeries, and illnesses to be honest, don't really get scared of common colds but major illnesses I do. I become a tied knot of nerves when I hear/this happens. Does that help you understand me a little bit better-sadly why when it comes to hospitals and medical procedures/surgeries/illnesses I worry-sadly tend to first think the worst. I hate I do this but tends to happen a lot lately since I lost my grandpa in 09.

 

[Mitchell]

I'm very sorry about your grandfather. I can understand why you think negatively.

To be completely honest, I'm usually a very negative person. Before we met the doctors in NJ, when my mom was first diagnosed with the cancer, I kept telling my mom I thought she was going to die. This was 18 months ago. Even in recent times, I havent always handled setbacks well, and have sometimes made negative statements that infuriated my mom. However, to be fair, there also have been times where she has felt very negative, in recent times, and I've tried to pump her up by being positive.

I'm torn: Part of me thinks we should have gone to the hosp today, and another part understands why my mom didnt. It may all be moot, because, if she gets an asthma attack, God Forbid, or has trouble breathing, we will be calling EMS ASAP. Hopefully she will get a good night's sleep, feel better, and not have to go.

Mitch