please contribute lawyer jokes

[milagros317]

I have a cousin who is a lawyer and will soon be reaching the age of sixty. She has always loved jokes about lawyers, the nastier the better. I'm collecting them as part of a presentation to be made at her birthday dinner.

I'll get it started with two of my own:

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good beginning.


What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a garbage-eating, bottom-feeding, scum-sucking scavenger, and the other is ... ...
... ... a fish.

 

[amk714]

Here's a link full of them:

http://www.nolo.com/humor/jokes.cfm

 

[TickledToDeath]

Per Danny DeVito in "War of the Roses"

" What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean"?
"A good start"

TTD

 

[asutickler]

Problem: A man is trapped in a room with Saddam Heussein (sp?), a rabid pitbull, and a lawyer. The man is holding a revolver loaded with two bullets. What is the man's best option under these circumstances?


Solution: Shoot the lawyer twice and hope you finished him off...


😛


I'm taking the LSAT next Saturday, by the way, so I hope I didn't just give myself some bad karma...



ASUTickler

 

[milagros317]

Re: Re: please contribute lawyer jokes

Here's a link full of them:

http://www.nolo.com/humor/jokes.cfm

Thanks! I've found about two dozen that I like there already.