Positive feedback on this board

[GoForTheLaugh]

I have been on this board for three months, and I cannot believe how much of a positive effect it has had on me.

First of all, I came here utterly ignorant and have learned a lot. I had read much on Jack's Rack years ago, but I had never been on an actual fetish board. Before I started posting, I assumed (for some self-indulgent reason) that everyone here liked soft tickling the way I did, and that anyone into hard/consensual torture tickling was an oddball at best and a pervert at worst. I was wrong.

I did not know what BDSM was, and I thought anyone into such practices was sick; this assumption was based largely on a few judgmental practitioners I once knew. I was wrong.

I thought people here would only be interested in sex, tickling, sex, porn, sex, bragging, and sex--and that I would never want to know people from this board for real. I was wrong. I have met two people in real life and write to a few others.

Even beyond all that...

I am amazed by how much support people on the board get. I have actually been moved by the expressions of warmth and humanity I have seen here when someone was hurting. No, this is not a board of perverts, oh real world. Many of the folks here are deeper and more concerned about others than many of those in vanilla reality. There are plenty of exceptions in both worlds, of course, but such a generality is, I believe, a valid starting point.

I am moving from being horribly ashamed of my fetish to really wondering what the big deal is, and I owe that to the many frank discussions on the board.

In life I tend to see the cup half empty instead of half full. I have thus concentrated on flames and pig-headedness when I should have been praising the large number of supportive, accepting, open-minded people here.

Tickle encounters... No, not yet. I still have only my memories of brief tickling during horseplay and foreplay, and it has been a while for both. Working on it. Eventually, perhaps. But if it ever does happen, I will admit where I learned the tricks of the trade.

 

[Red Jester]

Indeed, have a cookie.

 

[sole seeker]

yep, lots of good folks on this board. some less-than-supportive types too. We all run across them from time to time. Try not to get drawn into their crap. I figure they were abused as children.

I too have learned from this forum that tickling is not the oddest thing on the earth. I haven't met anyone from here in real life, but I'd like to sometime. Maybe someday. (*sigh*)

By the way, I like your signature.

 

[chrisheaven]

pleased you have had a positive experience- there are some great people around here

 

[lk70]

thanks

GFTL- thanks for that post. It made me smile and reminded me of a few things I was in danger of forgetting lately. And your happiness and growth shines through in your post- I'm happy for you! Group hug everybody!

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Glad to see another great guy warming up to the gang. We've warmed up to you as well! This really IS a great community. Like any other community, we have our share of bad apples and such. But, they only have the power we give to them. It's good to see that you're discovering the same. You've taken less time to do so than I did.

It's good having yet another positive member here to contribute to and gleen from the community at large. And, I must admit, the fact that you happen to be gay and saying all of this is a positive for us. If we (I use that word genericly) haven't driven you away as we have others, maybe there's hope for further unity in the community. I sure hope so.

Everyone iin the community has their own unique way of viewing and doing things. I think we all start out thinking that our way is the only way. I know I did. But, there really is no right or wrong as long as all participants are willing. It's time we put aside differences and started celebrating what we have in common. Maybe your positive experiences shows that we're moving in that direction. It may be slow at times. But, at least we're moving. Thanks for giving us a chance! It's good to have you with us.

Ann

 

[steph]

YAY lk!

YES! Hugs all around~so glad to hear things are looking up for you Go For The!
XOXO

GFTL- thanks for that post. It made me smile and reminded me of a few things I was in danger of forgetting lately. And your happiness and growth shines through in your post- I'm happy for you! Group hug everybody!

 

[qjakal]

No no no...all together now- "We ARE e-v-i-l...."

It is strange when you realize that we're all different in the same way, isn't it? Having done most of my growin' up before there was a net I assumed I was *alone* in being wired this way...which is NOT a good thing.

Q

 

[venray]

As the others have said...We are a community here....You will find that most members are here to have fun, learn about themselves and others, or satisfy a need or two. Most are very friendly and welcome open and honest discussions and genuinely want to help....

Some just dont care about anything except causing trouble and putting down others who dont think exactly as they do (if they think at all)...These are few in number and when ignored they go away to find someone else to "play" with....

Glad to have you with us...your threads have been very thought provoking on many levels.....

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

Cool posts! 😎 Really cool! My thanks!!!!! 🙂

I was so close to leaving a few weeks ago, and, I am ashamed to admit, I had already written a fuck you all farewell post. (NOT one of my brighter ideas, and I have erased it unposted.) The few I confided in urged me to stay, and I am glad that I did.

I really think some of the moderators or admins did something. I went from being flamed regularly to no flames in about three or four weeks. While I would love to be pompous enough to think I cleaned up the board myself, I know it is not possible. Thank you, mystery mods and admins!

With the help of someone on this board (whom I won't identify unless she gives me permission), I found a board where there is a lot of M/M discussion--mostly by women but also by some men who love it. I do feel more comfortable there than here, but I don't want to leave this place either. I may just be on here less, as I have a lot of responsibility in my real life plus a non-sex, non-tickling board I have been on for years, one where I use my real name/photo and am well known.

Despite any complaints (past or future), I am glad that I found this place--and really will work on whining less. 😀

 

[steph]

I know the person in question (we're sort of friends.) 😉
Somehow, I doubt if she'd mind all that much. She's one of those nutty do-gooder types who gets off on making people happy. What a sap... 😛
XOXO

With the help of someone on this board (whom I won't identify unless she gives me permission), I found a board where there is a lot of M/M discussion--mostly by women but also by some men who love it. I do feel more comfortable there than here, but I don't want to leave this place either.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I have to say...you've offered conversational abilities that are so rare. Corresponding with you's been a tremendous pleasure, my friend.

 

[unclebill]

Cool posts! 😎 Really cool! My thanks!!!!! 🙂

I was so close to leaving a few weeks ago, and, I am ashamed to admit, I had already written a fuck you all farewell post. (NOT one of my brighter ideas, and I have erased it unposted.) The few I confided in urged me to stay, and I am glad that I did.

I really think some of the moderators or admins did something. I went from being flamed regularly to no flames in about three or four weeks. While I would love to be pompous enough to think I cleaned up the board myself, I know it is not possible. Thank you, mystery mods and admins!

GoForTheLaugh, I try to read most of your posts and have participated in a few of them. Being as well versed as you are helps in understanding where you are coming from. It saddens me to read that you were ready to leave the TMF because folks were flaming you. Was this in the form of private messages? To my knowledge the only thread that got a little out of hand was your now legendary first thread concerning straight m/m tickling. Help me out here.

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

I know the person in question (we're sort of friends.)
Somehow, I doubt if she'd mind all that much. She's one of those nutty do-gooder types who gets off on making people happy. What a sap...
XOXO

She's someone I wanna give a smoochy kiss to.

I have to say...you've offered conversational abilities that are so rare. Corresponding with you's been a tremendous pleasure, my friend.

Ditto, my man! You are the coolest of the cool! 🙂

GoForTheLaugh, I try to read most of your posts and have participated in a few of them. Being as well versed as you are helps in understanding where you are coming from. It saddens me to read that you were ready to leave the TMF because folks were flaming you. Was this in the form of private messages? To my knowledge the only thread that got a little out of hand was your now legendary first thread concerning straight m/m tickling. Help me out here.

There was a bit of flaming by private message and a bit of flaming elsewhere on the board, although nothing was as bad as that infamous thread, I admit.

There were also remarks elsewhere about how M/M was disgusting and some stuff about gays. I did not post in those threads, because what I had to say would not have been kind.

Finally, I do tend to overreact, so anything on the board is always going to be worse in my mind than it actually is. I am only human, and the gentleman you see on this board is only one part of me--the part I try to keep dominant. There is also an inner bitch, one I have to keep a strong handle on.

So, yes, I am admitting that, although I was attacked, I could have been more mature about the whole thing. I made far too big a deal of it, especially in my own mind, and now I feel silly. It is a public board, after all, and for being ridiculous at times I apologize.

Anyway, that is all past, and the main reason I started this thread is to make that clear. This is a great board, and I mean that.

 

[RobAce]

Im glad you stayed

I will also chime in on this. It is sad when those misguided souls attack people just for the sake of doing it. Most of those people have no substance and should never be allowed to force anyone out. Though I am a straight male and have my own beliefs on homosexuality I would never force my beliefs on someone else or would expect or believe that they would do the same to me. Everyone is welcome in this community as I have seen over the years and its great to see more and more people "delurking", I guess we are all doing a great job as a community to make people feel more comfortable and this we should be truly proud of. Ann, Steph and Venray can all attest to the "bad vibes" that used to exsist here in the community a little while ago I think that was the reason a lot of people lurked and stayed unheard. But with this recent trend of open and understanding with one another no matter what the view of the individual, shows how far we have come. All I can say I hope that this trend continues, and we will have a larger overall understanding of not only ourselves but of each other.

Thats just my dollar and 2 cents worth

 

[Mitchell]

Go for the laugh, I have enjoyed reading your posts. You are insightful, intelligent, and comfortable with who you are, and in your sexuality. You demonstrate qualities of feeling secure within yourself, and I think it serves you well.
As someone who has his many friends, but has also been villified here from time to time by certain jerks, I have had some bad experiences here too. As I told you, I have this alternative interest of seeing girls barefoot on ladders, and Iam not 100% sure why I enjoy this. Most on here are awesome people, accept me for what Iam, and the fact that I can contribute positively to the commmunity, for myself, and I hope, in their lives. It is my intended hope that even though I may discuss my enjoyment of seeing barefoot girls on ladders, that people will also realize that Iam a genuinely sincere guy. As in any community, and as has happened to you, I have had a few idiots who have villified me for my alternative interest, or, in their estimation, that girls think I'm weird because of my ladder interest. While I have occasionally gotten a few cross eyed looks, so to speak, my experience has been that when someone gets to know me, instead of the chatter they here about me, they will find Iam genuinely sincere and can be a good friend to them.
I dont mean to go off on an tangient about myself. My point in this whole post is this: I will echo what venray said. There are many, many fine members of this community. They are warm, ingratiating people whose sole purpose of being on this board is to share experiences of tickling, and to make their own and others lives better. Iam very sorry that you have experienced the villifying pm's. That is wrong, and cruel. In my estimation, it also demonstrates the character of the people sending them. If one cannot leave alone and accept a well meaning and fine guy, just because he's gay, that to me is their character flaw and their problem. For the most part, most of the people here are great. As I think I told you in an earlier post, were I you, I would simply use the "edit ignore list" function for your private messages, and place on that list any of these people who are in effect harrassing and bashing you. I have done this, and it works wonders for me. In this way, you can seperate the well meaning people from the idiots, and thus partcipate with only those who react to you in a constructive way. We dont all have to agree to be friends, but we need to respect others rights, as Jeff and Myriads state is the motto of the forum. I may not agree with my friends on issues of politics, religion, or sexuality, but I respect their rights to feel as they do, and hope they respect mine. Iam glad to hear that you have found positive experiences and good people on this board. There are many good people here, mods and other forum members. Iam also glad you decided to stay with us. You can thus enjoy the board for its good points, and ignore the jerks. As someone who certain jerks tried to drive away, I made up my mind that I was not going to let any jerk drive me away from this community with their flaming posts or pm's, unless I wanted to leave. On one occasion, a TMF'er who is now no longer on this board, left me a private message typed in all capitals with the heading "YOUR STORIES SUCK", because he did not like my stories that I had written on the board. He then launched into a long dissertation of bashing my stories, and how I should never post on the forum again. He promptly got ignore. I was not going to let him drive me away. I had another instance where some intelligent person suggested I have the fictional tickling baseball team I was writing about killed in a violent plane crash. Another bright idea. He too received ignore. In spite of the flames, I was not going to be driven away from this forum that I loved so, and had been so well received in. Iam glad you decided to do the same for yourself.
I for one think you are an asset to the forum, and can contribute well with your insightful posts. So, I have one piece of advice for you. Stay, contribute well, be ingratiated by those of us who accept you, and welcome you as our friend, and ignore, ignore, ignore the jerks. No matter how much you are flamed, dont let anyone drive you away. This is my best piece of advice, and one Iam glad you have decided to follow for yourself. Good Luck to you, and I look forward to having you as a good contributing member of the forum for a long time to come. Iam glad to see that you havent let the idiots who have flamed you drive you away.

Mitch

 

[steph]

(smooches back!)

She's someone I wanna give a smoochy kiss to.

 

[tickleshotel]

happy to see you stayed

Hi Goforthelaugh I am happy to see that you have made the decision to stay on the forum and not let the flames you received drive you off the forum...
Having been a member here for quite a long time and having met alot of members in person at gatherings,I can join in the other members here who have already contributed to this thread echoing that there are many good and wonderful people here in this community 😀
That said, over the course of my own time here as a member I have considered leaving the board myself in the past ,not because I wanted to leave but mainly due to some members that weren;t polite in threads where I was feeling valuable adding my own contribution,my .02 to topics . When this happened,I felt insulted because I had done nothing but obey the Golden Rule by always giving,showing others courtesy,respect but when I received replies attacking me personally a part of me wanted to resolve things if there was a solution,drop it entirely and then there was a another part like you mention that you take a stand and don;t let anyone else push you,drive you off the forum ..If a member wants to leave the forum and that is their decision then all the power to them because if and when a member of the forum does decide to leave temporarily,or permanantly ..I believe that members are missed..
Anyways,great to see you here and take care..

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

Thanks, tickleshotel! There are a lot of good people here, and I am trying to be more realistic in my expectations.

I have cut down my activity here, however, as I don't want to get so comfortable on a board where I will am not going to meet someone for play that I forget to continue trying to come up with ways to find gay guys into tickling here in New York. That could happen very easily.

I will continue to try to be a presence here, though. 🙂