Problem I'm Having-Advice Appreciated

[Mitchell]

I'm usually reluctant to post personal business on the forum anymore, but something happened the other day that I would appreciate advice on. (It's not anything about my father, its about me, so it shouldnt cause the blowups that have happened in the past when I've discussed my father on here).

People may have seen the thread I posted about my mom's upcoming body scan, for the doctors to see how well the treatment she had when we were living in NJ for three months worked.

We met with the doctor this past Friday, and the thing is: I don't remember the meeting at all. I don't remember what was said, etc. I made some comment to my mom on Saturday, and she looked at me with amazement, saying something like "Mitch, dont you remember being at Dr B yesterday, and what was discussed." The honest answer is no, I dont.

This is particularly disturbing to me, because as forum members know, I was a history major, and I pride myself on remembering dates/events, etc. I can remember conversations I had with people, years ago. I remember the day my mom was diagnosed with the cancer in March 2010. I remember the last time I saw my father in January 2010. (Almost two years ago) etc. Yet, I cant remember this.

I've posted about the seizure I had in June. I had tests, and all was fine., The doctors concluded it was stress.

I lied in bed last night, wondering if there's something wrong with me. I havent had any ill effects since the seizure. I dont feel weak, or tired, etc. Yet, I kept going over it "Why the hell cant I remember the meeting with the Dr?"

I'm reluctant to tell Dr B, my mom's cancer Dr. If I know him, he'll tell me to check myself into the hospital and get tested. I went through enough of that in June.

So, is there any logical explanation of why a person who usually remembers EVERYTHING both short and long term, doesnt remember a meeting with a Dr that occured less thzn 24 hours before?

I'm wondering if all the months of living away from home, the stress, fear, etc of my mom's treatment, hospitalizations, and tests, caused me to have a blackout. The thing is: I remember living in NJ for three months, vividly, and all the things that happened there. Yet, I cant wrap my brain around why I cant remember this one day.


Am I making too much out of this, or, considering my seizure, should I tell Dr B, and ask him to direct me to someone to go get tested?

Thoughts and advice would be appreciated. Please use care. This is a sensitive subject considering what i'm going through with mom, and I'm very upset.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

As an indication of how good my memory usually is.

The last time my mom was at Lancaster General, a lung specialist, who was one of the doctors who misdiagnosed her, with metastatic cancer in 2010, asked to come to see us. Someone told this guy: "Be careful, Mitch remembers every word you said to him on the day you told him that his mom has cancer, and he's furious with you". So, the doctor showed up, and while we didnt discuss the March 2010 convo , he was VERY nice this last time we saw him. I also have vivid memories of conversations with a particular hospital internist during the last stay, that didnt go well, and i told the nurses I will not deal with that internist again.

My point is: While all this wasnt that long ago, it was longer than 3 days ago, and I remember ALL of it, so what is the explanation for my not remembering a meeting with my mom's cancer Dr, who my mom and I both like?

 

[Lord Doctor]

Stressed? How' your sleeping?
My own memory is so bad these days (long story, not gonna get into it) I often forget things within seconds. Sounds like you need some serious chill time, and I know that won't be easy with all that's going on.

 

[B'rab'atroi]

My point is: While all this wasnt that long ago, it was longer than 3 days ago, and I remember ALL of it, so what is the explanation for my not remembering a meeting with my mom's cancer Dr, who my mom and I both like?

The explaination is going to an Oncologist visit makes one become a deer in the headlights. On top of being stressed as it is, they present you with facts, numbers, medical terminology etc. I found the best thing to do is write down what your doctor is telling you, ask question even if its from your Oncology nurse or bring a third party individual with you. Its a great deal to take in and remember. I hope this helps and I hope your mother does well with treatments.

 

[GQguy]

Nothing to worry. As you get older your memory starts to fade. Not because of a degenerate condition....but because as you get older you're more responsible for a greater range of things and some things you'll simply need refresher on what happened. No big deal. If it starts happening alot then i'd worry. I'm 29 and it happens to me all the time.

GQ

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for all the sincere replies. I appreciate it. Now, to reply to everyone who posted.

Lord Doctor, my sleeping is terrible. That was true long before my mom was diagnosed, but it is worse now. I take Xanax, Dr perscribed, to help me sleep. I sleep 4-5 hrs on a good night.

B'rab, thanks for your good wishes. I agree with you that we really should be writing it down, but havent. My problem wasnt even so much that I forgot exactly what he said, its that i dont even remember being there.

Thanks, GQ, I appreciate your insight. You mentioned forgetting things at 29. I understand. I mean.. no one can remember EVERYTHING, as I know life is too complex too. I guess my concern is, that this was an important meeting, and I seem to have blocked it out. I also agree that if it starts happening to me a lot, I'll talk to a Dr, probably the neurologist who tested me after my seizure in June.

The replies were very helpful.

Mitch

 

[Bothersome]

I agree that it's probably stress, but I can't say anything for sure.

My memory has always been absolutely terrible, so that sounds about normal for me. xD

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

So, is there any logical explanation of why a person who usually remembers EVERYTHING both short and long term, doesnt remember a meeting with a Dr that occured less thzn 24 hours before? Mitch

One word. STRESS! When dealing with something of this magnitude, esp. after a prolonged period of time, sometimes the mind just says "Enough!" and shuts down for a bit. It's a survival instinct. You've been buried in this stuff for a good deal of time now. You've done admirably well in not completely losing it. But, even with that, the mind can demand a break when we don't give it one. I experienced something similar last year dealing with all my dad's stuff. I was in a meeting with the head of the nursing staff and suddenly didn't know how I'd gotten there or what had been discussed.

When the glass is full and you continue pouring milk into it, you end up with milk all over the table instead of in the glass. Try to get some rest...on both a mental and physical level. It will help.

 

[Persephone]

It may be stress, but seizures can seriously affect your brain because when you have a seizure you lose millions of brain cells.

My mother has suffered with epilepsy her entire life and has had several seizures over the past decade or so. She forgets things all the time or repeats the same things multiple times. There is nothing wrong with her memory or her ability to mentally process things, it just takes her a little bit longer than the average person because her brain has been rattled so many times.

However, in your case I wouldn't worry too much about it. It probably is just the lack of sleep and the large amount of stress.

But if you are that concerned I would talk to a neurologist asap.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks again everyone.

Per, I'm sorry about your mom having seizures.

I really appreciate the support. Maybe when I get past this week, and I see whats up with mom, I can feel better.

Mitch

 

[c7_assassin]

Seizures can cause brain damage, Mitch. And I wouldn't think having no memory of an event that happened less than a day ago could be caused by simple stress. I think you should talk to your doctor about it.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Speaking from taking Xanax recreationally, it can cause memory loss and blackouts, and not just "short-term" memory loss reminiscent of pot, as in "where did I put that pen?" but not being able to recall a situation in which you appeared to be fully cognizant, talking and moving and such. Perhaps it could be that? I would discuss this with your Doc in any event.

 

[Mitchell]

c7, thank you, but my memory is absolutely perfect except for this. I dont think I have brain damage, tyvm.

Thanks, Rusty. I dont take Xanax recreationally. I legitimately need it to help me sleep due to stress.

Mitch

 

[stroker]

I wouldnt worry too much about brain damage if this is just a one off event. The human brain can get downright weird when it is under extreme or prolonged stress especially if you are taking any kind of mood altering medication, and the effects can vary from one person to the next. For me it comes in the form of very vivid dreams and mild hallucinations ( I once had Idi Amin in full dress uniform standing at the side of my bed ) .As far as I understand it the brain will often try to protect itself from overload, basically to keep you sane, and this can take many forms eg compulsive behaviour . depression, withdrawal into fantasy or temprary memory loss . I reckon that if there was an underlying neurological problem it would probably be more frequent and random. But im not a doctor so to be on the safe side Id have a word with one even if only to put you at ease. Also, rest is important even without sleep .Take care. cheers.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

c7, thank you, but my memory is absolutely perfect except for this.

Yes. But to lose a WHOLE DAY, and an important one, is quite alarming.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks stroker.

Marquis, I wont know whether to be "alarmed" as you say, unless it God Forbid happens again. In my experience, it never has.

Mitch

 

[TropicThunder]

Seizures can cause brain damage, Mitch. And I wouldn't think having no memory of an event that happened less than a day ago could be caused by simple stress. I think you should talk to your doctor about it.

Speaking from taking Xanax recreationally, it can cause memory loss and blackouts, and not just "short-term" memory loss reminiscent of pot, as in "where did I put that pen?" but not being able to recall a situation in which you appeared to be fully cognizant, talking and moving and such. Perhaps it could be that? I would discuss this with your Doc in any event.

Yes. But to lose a WHOLE DAY, and an important one, is quite alarming.

Whether or not you take Xanax recreationally, it can still have this effect.

And c7 is right, seizures can cause damage that you and your doctor may not fully be aware of immediately, so it would be best to play it safe and talk to your doctor. Lapses such as that shouldn't be dismissed easily. Better safe than sorry. Just my two cents.

 

[Mitchell]

Okay, Tropic. I'll look into it, after my mom's scan.

Mitch

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I haven't read everything so forgive me if this was addressed, but when you say can't remember, do you mean you can't remember as in the details are hazy? Or can't remember as in in your mind it basically never happened? What's the last thing you remember before the appointment, and the first thing you remember after the appointment?

If it's the former, I wouldn't worry too much. I'd echo the others in saying chalk it up to stress. If it's the latter, however, I'd be concerned - especially with a history of seizures (yes, one seizure is a history). A seizure is a neurological issue. Blacking out or losing chunks of time - another neurological issue. I'd definitely get checked out.

Best of luck.

 

[Mitchell]

Cant remember as in details are hazy. I know it happened, I just cant remember details.

Maybe it is stress. My mom is better than I am at not dwelling on it. I'm worried, but trying to keep it to myself. She has enough to worry about with the Petscan itself.

Mitch

 

[unclebill]

It sounds like stress, Mitch. A lot is on your plate these days.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, bill. It probably is stress. I'm extremely concerned about my mom's Petscan. Hopefully once that's done, we can hear good news for a change, God willing, and I can start to calm down.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

Hmm. I was thinking, I can remember when things from being 4 years old, not so much 10, or 11 though. I think the brain tries to knock out the most stressful things for us.

If it happens more and more, see a doctor again just to make sure the seizure didn't do any of this. But I really think it's stress related and hopefully with some good news coming soon about your mom, this memory problem will go away too.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Leo. I appreciate the advice.

Some good news about my mom: From your .. computer.. to God's ears, my friend.

Take care.

Mitch

 

[love feet]

irs stress.