Snail Shell
Verified
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2001
- Messages
- 7,862
- Points
- 0
The World Health Organization has issued a worldwide alert to draw awareness to a growing epidemic sweeping the globe. It seems millions all over the world are becoming afflicted with what is known as Over-the-hill Living Disorder (OLD). In an effort to catch this growing trend before it starts getting out of hand, the WHO has written the following self-examination for those in North America:
Have you worn your comfy slippers to work more than four times this month?
Have you noticed the History questions in Trivial Pursuit are getting easier?
Has sex become so much work that at the end of the year your partner sends you a T4 form so you can claim it on your income tax?
Do you think Britney Spears is okay, but nothing beats Carol Cleveland?
Have you noticed that they play really good music at the supermarket?
Are you excited for next summer’s Transformers movie because you remember watching the cartoon with your kids?
Have you noticed a recession of the hair on top of your head, but an increase in the hair above you ass at the back?
Do you consider the Watergate scandal to be current events?
Have you started saving screws in a mason jar?
And not good screws. Bent up screws with the ridges missing?
And you’re only saving these screws because it gives you a chance to use your new label maker?
Have you noticed your bowel movements are both more frequent and enjoyable than making love?
Do you get an adrenaline rush from the speed of Pac Man?
Do you find yourself occasionally agreeing with Andy Rooney?
Do you get turned on by all the young girls these days showing off their ankles?
Have you looked at your wife wearing a track suit and big beige panties with lots of holes in them and thought to yourself, “Damn, I’m a lucky man”?
Do you wear underwear with holes in them because the only people who’ll see it are you, the wife and the guys from the EMT?
Do you see the fall of Soviet Communism as ‘trouble ahead’?
If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of the above questions, you may have OLD and should consult a travel agent to find yourself a one-way ticket Geezer City.
Thanks for your attention on this very serious matter. XD
Snail Shell
Have you worn your comfy slippers to work more than four times this month?
Have you noticed the History questions in Trivial Pursuit are getting easier?
Has sex become so much work that at the end of the year your partner sends you a T4 form so you can claim it on your income tax?
Do you think Britney Spears is okay, but nothing beats Carol Cleveland?
Have you noticed that they play really good music at the supermarket?
Are you excited for next summer’s Transformers movie because you remember watching the cartoon with your kids?
Have you noticed a recession of the hair on top of your head, but an increase in the hair above you ass at the back?
Do you consider the Watergate scandal to be current events?
Have you started saving screws in a mason jar?
And not good screws. Bent up screws with the ridges missing?
And you’re only saving these screws because it gives you a chance to use your new label maker?
Have you noticed your bowel movements are both more frequent and enjoyable than making love?
Do you get an adrenaline rush from the speed of Pac Man?
Do you find yourself occasionally agreeing with Andy Rooney?
Do you get turned on by all the young girls these days showing off their ankles?
Have you looked at your wife wearing a track suit and big beige panties with lots of holes in them and thought to yourself, “Damn, I’m a lucky man”?
Do you wear underwear with holes in them because the only people who’ll see it are you, the wife and the guys from the EMT?
Do you see the fall of Soviet Communism as ‘trouble ahead’?
If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of the above questions, you may have OLD and should consult a travel agent to find yourself a one-way ticket Geezer City.
Thanks for your attention on this very serious matter. XD
Snail Shell
