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Question About Honesty

Okay, let's get clear about something here;

Mz Chaos said:
:wavingguy Well, I would be one of the rude jackasses :wavingguy

As I mentioned before in a different thread... coming from parents who had me so late in life, I was raised with values and traditions from their era. Therefore, I find it difficult to converse with folks who are brutally, immediately honest about what they are there to talk about in PM's or on Chat.
Now, while I have been able to flex and stretch some of those values and traditions and modify them to suit the times, there are some that are just so rooted that they won't budge.
Before I go further, because I don't want to ruffle any feathers, let me say that I have been in chat rooms, been on other forums, I even play an online game... through these I have met great people from all walks of life and from so many different and wonderful foreign countries. I have also been witness to the way people talk to each other as well as myself in the age of the internet (as a writer... this is great for bettering dialogue and learning new slang). In these conversations, I have realized, that a majority of these people are speaking to each other, out in the open, about things which I was taught should be said in private... and only to those with which you are intimate.
I have become used to that, I'm not shocked anymore when I see these conversations, and even enjoy the banter these things generate. That is all good for those folk... however... it is not good for me. (I do, after I get to know a person better, get a bit more free in my talks with them.)
When I first start chatting with someone... I look for three things... politeness, sense of humor and intelligence. It's only three things and to me they make all the difference in a first impression.
With that being said... when I am approached in PM's, chats and voice chats, this person at the other end thinks I am probably "with it," that I am used to these open conversations and like most am probably comfortable with it. And without hesitation blurt right out with what they came to say. Be it about tickling or sex. I can't really say it shocks me so much as... disappoints me. To think that this other person doesn't really care much beyond what gratification I may give them by engaging in intimate talks.
But, at least these gentlemen are very clear as to what they want to talk about, and I admire them for their honesty...
Not too long ago, I told a friend of mine, "It seems like the women have stopped acting like ladies for so long, that men are forgetting how to treat them like ladies."
(Now, before I get all kinds of hate mail from the fellas... I do not mean ALL men. As a matter of fact, most of the fellows I have met in here are complete gentlemen.) But...
Welcome to my world.
So... here's where the jackass part comes in... betcha didn't think I'd ever get around to that did ya? ...
When these more open gentlemen engage me in such conversations... they get out about 3 to 4 sentences and I put them on ignore... I don't even have the courtesy to tell them, "thank you but I'm not really comfortable talking about this." Immediate ignore. I guess maybe I just don't want to get into any kind of confrontation and saying that would provoke one. I dunno. But I do know, it makes me one of the jackasses.
To those of you I have done this to... I have no excuse... I am a worm.
Mz Chaos, (and any other ladies who feel the same way): Choosing to avoid confrontation rather than seek it out is a perfectly normal and vakid human response. It does NOT make you;
1- A coward
2- A jackass
3- A worm
or
4- All of the above.
The original post that began this thread was not talking about people who did what you describe yourself doing; it was about people who have made a definite agreement to engage in a specific activity at a specific time, then simplay fail to be there and refuse to communicate on the subject, or at all, with the person they stood up.
Can you not see the great difference between that and closing down communication, without ever having made any kind of committment to do anything at any time, because the other party is coming on too strong or using language or means of expression which make you uncomfortable? If that's old fashioned, it's also your right.
If that sort of thing had ever happened in a bar where I was the bouncer, I would have been there to enforce your right not to have anything further to do with a guy who offended you. If that would have been your right face to face in a bar room, why should it not be your right here in a chat room?
As you can probably tell by the way I replied to Izzy, I hate to see nice people blame themselves when they've done nothing wrong.
Part of my own very old fashioned upbringing is that I tend to be very protective towards women, as politically incorrect as that is these days.
Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.
 
"When these more open gentlemen engage me in such conversations... they get out about 3 to 4 sentences and I put them on ignore... I don't even have the courtesy to tell them, "thank you but I'm not really comfortable talking about this." Immediate ignore. I guess maybe I just don't want to get into any kind of confrontation and saying that would provoke one. I dunno. But I do know, it makes me one of the jackasses."

Jackass? No. What you're doing is the same as if you picked up a straw broom and a stand-up dustpan and started cleaning up. Garbage goes in its rightful place, a wastebasket.
Keep America Beautiful, I always say.
 
Busy

Ok, I think I might be one of the people he is talking about too!
People get busy! Although this web site is a part of my life it is not my WHOLE life! If I get time to actually sit down and use the computer I post! I dont check PM's everyday! I might go a whole week with out reading my PM's (but I will post).

And also, some men get very pushy! NOTICE I said some! Yes this is a tickling site and DUH thats the reason we are all here BUT.... Having a regular conversation is nice too! It doesnt have to be all about tickling. A "Hi how are you?" would be sweet from time to time.....
 
tulipangel said:
Ok, I think I might be one of the people he is talking about too!
People get busy! Although this web site is a part of my life it is not my WHOLE life! If I get time to actually sit down and use the computer I post! I dont check PM's everyday! I might go a whole week with out reading my PM's (but I will post).

And also, some men get very pushy! NOTICE I said some! Yes this is a tickling site and DUH thats the reason we are all here BUT.... Having a regular conversation is nice too! It doesnt have to be all about tickling. A "Hi how are you?" would be sweet from time to time.....

Belive it or not. You were not one that I was refering too.
Yes people get busy. When this post was created it was not just about me, it is about my wife too. The issues that I mentioned happens with her too.
Oh and tulipangel, Hi how are you??
 
Hey

I am fine, just busy looking for stuff to do to keep me busy all day!
 
Innthenameoffun,I saw this thread while browsing and I am responding as I am thinking that I may be among the people you refer to in your thread.
I remember speaking to you on phone a few times about the self tickling idea you had,and I thought it was a great idea that a few people might be interested in participating in but for some reason,the idea didn't have the response I was anticipating.
I apologize to you for not responding to my PM as things have been tough for me recently . Most of the time I reply to my Pm's but in all honesty,sometimes there isn;t much I have to say as things aren;t going well for me now and while there is a few things going on that I would like to talk with someone about,I feel bad by sending a PM where I feel like I am venting frustration,unhappiness,etc .
 
tickleshotel said:
Innthenameoffun,I saw this thread while browsing and I am responding as I am thinking that I may be among the people you refer to in your thread.
I remember speaking to you on phone a few times about the self tickling idea you had,and I thought it was a great idea that a few people might be interested in participating in but for some reason,the idea didn't have the response I was anticipating.
I apologize to you for not responding to my PM as things have been tough for me recently . Most of the time I reply to my Pm's but in all honesty,sometimes there isn;t much I have to say as things aren;t going well for me now and while there is a few things going on that I would like to talk with someone about,I feel bad by sending a PM where I feel like I am venting frustration,unhappiness,etc .

Hey you,
Nope you were not one that I was refering too. There have been many that have viewed this and those that have viewed and not written anything,. they know who they are. All is fine with you as far as I'm concerned. I know you are haveing a tough time, and I hope things do get better for you.
 
Honesty is such a lonely word - everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard, but mostly what I need from you.

- Billy Joel
 
ShadowTklr said:
Honesty is such a lonely word - everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard, but mostly what I need from you.

- Billy Joel

Thanks, not only did that give me a laugh, but those words could not have been said any better. He is a good singer and songwriter.
 
Well said Tulip...

That's why there are many "Non-tickling" threads and forums here on site.

tulipangel said:
Ok, I think I might be one of the people he is talking about too!
People get busy! Although this web site is a part of my life it is not my WHOLE life! If I get time to actually sit down and use the computer I post! I dont check PM's everyday! I might go a whole week with out reading my PM's (but I will post).

And also, some men get very pushy! NOTICE I said some! Yes this is a tickling site and DUH thats the reason we are all here BUT.... Having a regular conversation is nice too! It doesnt have to be all about tickling. A "Hi how are you?" would be sweet from time to time.....
 
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