Question from a new Lee

[Lee On A Leash]

Hello everyone,

I have had some great experiences being a lee. . . for me it is purely sexual when I am tickled by one particular person, and it is great, but I get the feeling that the only way I can satisfy him is to be tickled. (He is a ler) It is foreplay for me, but that's not all I like, and sometimes he isn't even aroused if he doesn't tickle me first before we have sex. Should I be concerned? Let me know. Have any other lees experienced this?

 

[steph]

Maybe he's one for whom it's truly a fetish...
Oh, welcome, BTW...

XOXO

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

First of all, welcome to the TMF. You'll find all sorts of lers and lees around here.

As to your question... Everyone is different. For some folks, tickling is all they want. For others, it leads to more/other sexual behavior. For some, it can't be done without. So, as to whether or not you should be concerned, that depends on the two of you. If this is something you find to be a problem, then you might consider discussing it with him. The biggest hurdle is communicating and being honest about things with one another. What you describe isn't uncommon. But, if you aren't comfortable with it, you can come to an agreement about how to meet BOTH your needs. Good luck!

Ann

 

[Mimi]

Your Lers approach toward sex is fairly common amongst fetishists. There are many who can not get aroused or enjoy sex at all without the presence of tickling. I myself am engaged to a man who pretty much requires it in some form....if not physical, than verbal discussion or mental imagery.

It's not something to be concerned about unless it's creating a problem for you. Then, obviously, some sort of compromise must be met. Perhaps suggest to him that since you so willingly allow him to tickle you for his own arousal during foreplay, that perhaps he can throw in a few manipulations YOU enjoy during foreplay to help get and keep you in the mood as well. He may enjoy strawberry all the time, and never desire a different flavor, but you'd personally like to have a little french vanilla now and then.

Good luck! 🙂

Mimi

 

[mytoesrticklish]

Concerns for a Ler

Hi, my bf loves to tickle my toes and like you, the experience is sexual for me as well. Yet,in my case he thoroughly enjoys loving my feet more than tickling them, and it is important for him to nibble, kiss and suck my toes even before the tickle fun begins. Since I have a deep fetish for having my tootsies tickled, his obsession with my feet does not worry me. I would only worry unless your concerns begin to be a problem for both of you. Otherwise, enjoy each other lovingly and tickle,tickle,tickle...

 

[ViperGTS]

Although I don't NEED to tickle my companion before sex, it sure as hell helps.

 

[Irishgirl]

Although I don't NEED to tickle my companion before sex, it sure as hell helps.

And thats a fact,lol, it is a great plus tho, especially on the feet! And Welcome to the TMF!

 

[Oddjob0226]

Yep, that's a real live fetish - not a partialism or a fixation.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Lee on a Leash

I'm not a lee , so I can only speak from a ler point of view. Their is a certain domination a ler feels when they have a lee submissively under their actions. What may turn him on about tickling you before you have sex is the control over your reactions he has. While its forplay to you it maybe the actual turn-on point for him. I wouldnt be too concerned unless you feel that you are unfufilled, then you have to tell him that he turns you on other ways too. It might be what he wants to hear.

 

[ticklkitten]

Ok hon... I'd like you to look at it like this. You have been given the most awesome opportunity. You KNOW what your man wants, so many of us spend so much time having no clue what really turns him on besides the basics! wow, you are so lucky! you have the key! You can drive him wild and make sex an amazing experience.... really, embrace his fetish. You don't mind it and you know he loves it. How could that ever be a bad thing?

 

[Irishgirl]

Ok hon... I'd like you to look at it like this. You have been given the most awesome opportunity. You KNOW what your man wants, so many of us spend so much time having no clue what really turns him on besides the basics! wow, you are so lucky! you have the key! You can drive him wild and make sex an amazing experience.... really, embrace his fetish. You don't mind it and you know he loves it. How could that ever be a bad thing?

EXACTLY you having and finding the 'key' is so great...you are very lucky!

 

[bickee]

Hmm that makes me think. Many times during sex (etc.) I think of tickling, unbeknownst to my man who hates it. It's really the best way to bring myself to O. Wonder if I "need" it too?

 

[TklDuo-Drew]

I'm sorry....I really, really do apologize for this....but.....

Bee-I-Bee....Bee-I-Bye.....Bee-I-Bickee-Bye-Bee-Bye-Bye....Bickee-Bye-Bee-Boo.

I just couldn't resist. 🙄



Drew

 

[bickee]

Drew, what the heck is that!

 

[TklDuo-Drew]

Oh, I'm a huge Three Stooges fan, Bickee. But I think I messed up the beginning.....should've been "Bee-A-Bay"



Drew

 

[bickee]

Ok, I thought I was losing my mind! But that little song does nothing to enlighten me about my sexuality. LOL

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Down, boy! Down! Sorry Bickee. I haven't given him his daily dose of tickling yet. I'll see to it right away. You aren't far. Wanna come help? lol

We now return you to your regularly scheduled post.....

Ann

 

[Mitchell]

I agree exactly with what mytoesrticklish said. This has been my experience.

Iam a guy who has the dual "interest", as I like to call it, of tickling, and female feet. For me, I had the foot interest first, and then the tickle interest came later. As far as arousal goes for me, it greatly helps me if Iam playing with and worshipping, (kissing feet, sucking on toes) the feet of the girl Iam involved sexually with. It greatly helps me in arousal. While I cant say that I never become aroused, and would never become aroused if I didnt play with the feet of the girl I was sexually intimate with, it could well become an obstacle in arousal for me if she forbade me to do so. I dont think anything is "concerning", unless it causes physical or emotional pain to either party in the relationship. If tickling you helps your boyfriend in becoming aroused sexually, and you are okay with that, then it is merely a matter of two people who are intimate and sexually involved, using a means with which to become aroused. If you are beginning to have thoughts of:" My gosh, this is bothering me that my boyfriend cant become aroused unless he tickles me and/ or plays with my feet, and this is making me uncomfortable, why is this happening?", it is at that point time to sit down and have an open discussion about your mutual sexual needs and wants. Discuss, negotiate, and try to set boundaries and compromise for what both you and he need in the relationship. That way, both of you can feel like your needs and wants are satisified. I'll use an example for myself.
While I do of course have the tickle interest,( I wouldnt be here if I didnt.) It is also important to me that I have foot worship as part of my sexual stimuli, to help me enjoy sex more. If I met someone who refused to ever let me play with her feet, I couldnt realistically stay with that person, because I would be deprived of something that has been important to me for a long time. If, however, I met someone who, say, didnt love the idea of having her feet paid attention to, because she was either too ticklish, or hated feet, what not, but she had all the other qualities, I could probably accept the idea of say, paying attention to her feet during some instances where we were making love, while being able to contain myself and not worship her feet at other times. This is what I mean by discussion, compromise, and resolution. I would say that for whatever your issues are with your boyfriend, discuss, compromise, both of you need to try and bend to make the other happy, and try to find a balance, for lack of a better word, where you can both feel as sexually, and emotionally satisfied as possible, Love is about compromise, and if you truly care for each other, things like this can be worked out, I believe for the good of the relationship.
Welcome to TMF. This is a great place, and, as you can see, we are all very supportive and open with one another about issues in our lives. Take care, and Good Luck.

Mitch

 

[Lee On A Leash]

Thank you all for your warm welcomes and your honest answers to my post. My boyfriend also browses this website, and he read my post. He only mentioned it breifly, and didn't make a big deal out of my question. All I have to say is that he is an amazing man, and a relentless tickler (to my delight). It is just another case of, "if you want something, open up your mouth and speak!"

 

[ticklkitten]

Thank you all for your warm welcomes and your honest answers to my post. My boyfriend also browses this website, and he read my post. He only mentioned it breifly, and didn't make a big deal out of my question. All I have to say is that he is an amazing man, and a relentless tickler (to my delight). It is just another case of, "if you want something, open up your mouth and speak!"

Like I said sweetie, you are SO lucky... embrace the fact that you know you can drive him crazy! Isn't it grand?