Quoting the masses

[alchemy1]

traffic cops (what NOT to do)

alright, this one's kind of long...but disturbingly funny 😀

"Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him...and then we will start apologizing, begging for mercy.
This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. The thing to do - when you're running along about a hundred or so and you suddenly find a red-flashing CHP-tracker on your trail - what you want to do then is to accelerate. Never pull over with the first siren-howl. Mash it down and make the bastard chase you at speeds up to 120 all the way to the next exit. He will follow. But he wont know what to make of your blinker-signal that says you're about to turn right.
This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk...keep signaling and hope for an off-ramp, one of those uphill side-loops with a sign saying "Max Speed 25"...and the trick, at this point, is to suddenly leave th freeway and take him into the chute at no less than a hundred miles an hour.
...it will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180-degree turn at this speed...but you will be ready for it, braced for the Gs and the fast heel-toe work, and with any luck at all you will have come to a complete stop off the road at the top of the turn and be standing beside your automobile by the time he catches up.
He wil not be reasonable at first...but no matter. Let him calm down. He will want the first word. Let him have it. His brain will be in turmoil: he may begin jabbering, or even pull his gun. Let him unwind; keep smiling. The idea is to show him that you were always in total control of yourself and your vehicle - while he lost control of everything." - The notorious Hunter S. Thompson (a.k.a Raul Duke)

By the way, DON'T EVER DO THIS!
I DO NOT in any way, shape or form condone this behavior. Remember, Hunter Thompson is crazy...you are not.

 

[MistressValerie1]

I wonder if there is any truth to this proverb:

"Artists like cats, soldiers like dogs."
--Desmond Morris

 

[Kalamos]

"Meow."

Me.

 

[nstklr]

Logic and/or common sense

Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
-- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Work

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Love

"Do you want me to tell you something really subverse? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more. "

 

[alchemy1]

organized religion

"I have no religion whatsoever. I believe that life is a process and that man is a self-made product. The spirit of the individual is determined by his dominating thought habits." - Bruce Lee

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Friends

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets
you have total freedom to be yourself — and especially to feel.
Or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is
fine with them. That's what real love amounts to — letting a
person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you
pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending
— performing. You get to love your pretense. It's true, we're
locked in an image, an act — and the sad thing is, people get
so used to their image — they grow attached to their masks. They
love their chains. They forget all about who they really are.
And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it — they feel
like you're trying to steal their most precious possession.
- Jim Morrison

 

[Ghost_Host_9991]

Writing & Inspiration

"I have all the demons of Hell inside my head. My only salvation is to vent them on paper." - Marquis de Sade.

 

[Cbarton]

The problem with Christianity is not that it has been tried and found wanting, but rather it has been wanted but not often fully tried!

--G.K. Chesteron, theologian, author of the "Father Brown" mystery series

 

[Iluv2Btickled]

Motivation

" If you dont want to do it, dont do it!"

Gay-yee Westerhoff, quoting her father's words and how that inspired her to be persistent.

 

[Kougaiji-sama]

courage/importance of the military

Never in the annuls of human history have so many owed so much to so few"
Winston Churchill after Berlin Airlift

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Acupuncture

"Acupuncture works on the principle of distraction. You're not going to feel the arthritis in your knee when someone's ramming a butterfly-specimen needle into the nape of your neck. It's the same reason your nose never itches when your ankle is caught in a bear trap." - Dennis Miller

 

[MistressValerie1]

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. --Aldous Huxley

 

[Ignatz]

Abstinence

"I've conquered my goddam will power!"

--Don Marquis (on taking his first drink after two weeks on the wagon.)

 

[MaxDragon]

"Get a job, you fucking loser!"

my probation officer - 2005

 

[Ja'Qalil]

Nothing unreal exists.

 

[Ignatz]

Success

"'Tis not in mortals to command success, but we'll do more...we'll deserve it!"
--Joseph Addison
(I hope that makes up for the flippancy of my first post.)

 

[phantom2]

"Personaly I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught". - Sir Winston Churchill

 

[BigNorm]

Hostages

"Move and the cute little bunny gets it" - Cyrus the Virus (Con-Air)

 

[BigNorm]

War

"In war, don't die for your country, make the enemy die for his." - General Dwight D. Eisenhower

 

[gallicus]

Mind/Matter

What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.
-- George Berkeley

 

[batch1]

"Women, when are you gonna smarten up with this? It's like, sure he gets drunk, sure he smacks me around a little, sure he gambled away the welfare money, sure he sodomizes the kids, but you know, when you catch him on the right day, he can really be a warm guy. As a matter of fact, I'd like to meet a prick who's a philanthropist. That's the guy I wanna hang with: some guy whose center core is rotten, and he's evil, except all he does is good deeds. Where's that guy, by the way? Whatever you're doing is what you are, everybody. That's you. That's how you define yourself. If you're boozing, you're an alcoholic! If you're raping, you're a rapist! And then, who cares what the core is?" - Adam Carolla

 

[Timewarp]

"I'm not as think as you drunk"

-The All Knowing Wisdom Cube

 

[Kougaiji-sama]

Duty Vs. Love

I can't Protect you without holding a sword
I can't Embrace you while holding a sword

Ya i know its in my sig but it's a good quote