Roommate's Girlfriend suspects I have foot fetish, how?

[ElFewja]

I wrote a few paragraphs last night then threw it out. Saw the title of the thread again and decided I should at least put the first part up.

I don't know how she either figured out or guessed why you have a foot fetish because this small story probably doesn't contain the answer. Maybe she saw you doing something odd, looking at the ground all the time, saw your history or someone else suspected it? There's not enough information about you here to figure it out.

What I do know is that you almost definitely tipped her off by avoiding the question so hard, initially. Even a "its none of your business what I'm into," would have provided less evidence. So she either knows or strongly suspects it.

I personally think she's not 100% sure and is fishing for an answer, probably just screwing with you in the meantime. As to how to handle it.. I don't have any suggestions. I think anything I suggest to put an end to it, and those things surely would, would create a situation that you don't want. The best I had was giving a super sarcastic yes, that's your thing and you're so into her, and then calling her a moron. Confronting her in some way would almost definitely end it, like if you asked her to quit whatever she's doing because it's gross (the next time she did it). But since you don't want to be outed at all I wouldn't do either because, even if she thinks she's wrong after those events she might still go around talking about it and that's not what you want.

However, ignoring her is probably just feeding the situation because if she's doing something that is fairly obvious, then it's also fairly obvious you're just ignoring her rather than confronting her. If I saw something like that I would also think it was pretty damning evidence as to what you were thinking. Of course, that's just me and I'm not convinced this person is as capable of reading people.

Best thing you can do is just not worry about it and don't let it get to you if you can help it. Practice meditation to make that easier, I guess.

 

[Speedbump]

My word. You have the most common fetish in the world. You shouldn't have made it into such a big deal and stayed calm about it. She now knows it's something she can bother you with, and since she seems to be putting her feet out more since then, as you said, she seems to be teasing you with it.

But then, you're making her out to be a rather bitchy character. Some girls just like talking about sex stuff, and being flirty a lot, and knowing it might be giving you a boner when she puts her feet in view could be something she's into. But if you know her to just be a pain in the ass, then it's probably not any of those reasons. Still, it's your best friend's girlfriend, so I wouldn't bother putting a whole lot of thought into it one way or another.

 

[tcklft]

Sounds like she's trying to play you. Or her boyfriend. Or both. Ignore her ass.

 

[Cave In]

She seems to be trying to make it out to be a big deal and to get a reaction from you. I had a flatmate who found out about my foot fetish and while we were out one night decided when he was drunk to mention it in front of a couple of girls we knew, looking to embarrass me in front of them. I didn't get shy or defensive about it, just said "Yea I do, so what?" The girls didn't care one bit, he ended up looking like a dick and I ended up having a long chat about fetishes with one of the girls.

Point is she is trying to make a big deal out of something, that in grand scheme of things, is not a big deal. Foot fetish is tame compared to other fetishes out there. If you don't make a big deal out of it when she is bringing it up, she's the one who ends up looking like an idiot.

 

[C.A.B.]

Your roommate will find out because she will tell him. Then he will beat you to death, and force his girlfriend to help him toss your blood stained corpse into a restaurant dumpster, then they will go to Denny's for 'breakfast anytime' and she will blow him in the parking lot to release his pent up pressure and guilt. The end.

 

[Libertine]

Just use the annoyance you feel to get yourself out of the room when she's around and go interact with other people in other locations. You say she's unattractive and off limits even if you did like her- so leave.

Plenty of girls around on a university campus and the overwhelming majority have feet. (I guarantee it.) Is there a dance program? Lots of girls with aching feet and almost exclusively gay male classmates. Modern dancers as opposed to classical ballet dancers don't wear shoes when performing so you can even check out the buffet. If you prefer high arches hook up with one of the ballet girls. And since none of them are professionals their feet won't be completely battered. Yet. Theater program? Mainly ditto for the sexuality of the male classmates and a bunch of pretty, and unconventional, girls insecure about everything- talent, weight, looks- make with the cleverly sincere praise, which is an art in itself and there you are.

As a final caveat, NEVER EVER ask a dancer if she's flexible. She is- she knows it- it goes with the territory- but they consider anyone who asks to be a complete pervert and will staple their own knees together sooner than sleep with you. And don't ask if she can 'stand on her toes'. Ask if she does pointework, and don't pronounce the 'e'.

Point is, just avoid the roommate's annoying girlfriend and go find someone else for yourself.

 

[PiedPiper]

Your roommate will find out because she will tell him. Then he will beat you to death, and force his girlfriend to help him toss your blood stained corpse into a restaurant dumpster, then they will go to Denny's for 'breakfast anytime' and she will blow him in the parking lot to release his pent up pressure and guilt. The end.

Folks, I am beside myself with admiration for this sort of imagination;;;; I mean,... I thought I was pretty good, but this is not only twisted genius;;;; it could very likely be true, as well. And that is what makes great art. Dancing along the narrow line between what is real and what might be real. Wherever he is, I hope Rod Serling noticed this.

C.A.B. ..... boyscout salute.

 

[jc10113]

Next time she tries something like that you should reenact the entire Rocky Horror Picture Show with sock puppets.

 

[yhola]

Whatever the situation she's still your roommate's girlfriend so ignore any overtures, tell her sex and all its variations is something between her and her boyfriend, and leave well enough alone.

Funny how PC college types who will (for instance) defend to the death, and go on marches to support, gay people's absolute rights to do whatever they want to one another will still stigmatise an innocuous thing like straight tickling.

This is simply because people need something to deplore and straight fetishism is a more socially acceptable target.

"I am sexually adventurous, you are kinky, he is a disgusting pervert."

That is a wonderful, wonderful post.

 

[voided9]

Folks, I am beside myself with admiration for this sort of imagination;;;; I mean,... I thought I was pretty good, but this is not only twisted genius;;;; it could very likely be true, as well. And that is what makes great art. Dancing along the narrow line between what is real and what might be real. Wherever he is, I hope Rod Serling noticed this.

C.A.B. ..... boyscout salute.

C.A.B. comes up with the best shit, always!

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

Your roommate will find out because she will tell him. Then he will beat you to death, and force his girlfriend to help him toss your blood stained corpse into a restaurant dumpster, then they will go to Denny's for 'breakfast anytime' and she will blow him in the parking lot to release his pent up pressure and guilt. The end.

Replace the Denny's with Chipotle and you've got it perfect.

 

[gig1965]

clearly she's seen you stealing glances at her feet every chance you get....

 

[FFT32]

I am under the impression that she may either be into feet already or is curious to explore it. She may have also stumbled onto something you either had laying around or said that has her targeting you about the fetish. Also, based on this, I am making a further assumption that her bf, your roomate is not into feet and not giving hre what shes wants or is curious about...

I would take all of the advice about playing it cool and being cautious.

 

[phil605_ca]

Tell us, you said you slept with her roommate, when you did, did you pay any attention to her feet, or tickle her? Perhaps that's the source of her curiosity...

 

[Sunjob]

A lot of people getting negative about a girl they barely know.

Maybe she was curious about you potentially having a fetish because she thought it might be a way for her to talk about her fetish with you, which she is probably self-concious about, but was thrown off by your reaction. Maybe she's not trying to lure you with your feet and you're just seeing it that way because it's more noticeable how many times a girl puts their feet in reaching distance that when they're not.

Either way, you have a foot fetish and that is somebody elses girlfriend. You shouldn't be touching her feet anyway. And as much as you say you're not attracted to her (I believe you) you're still going to be sexually aroused by anything involving her feet and that's not cool.

I think people need to understand that if the person who they were tickling or foot rubbing knew they were that turned on by it they probably wouldn't be a fan of them doing it. Sometimes you have to put what you're doing in the context of how it makes you feel. You wouldn't grab this girls butt, you wouldn't kiss her, so something that is equally sexual to you like touching her feet is wrong. That applies to a lot of people not just yourself, you seem like you're pretty good at ignoring opportunities so mad props for that.

 

[mabus]

I kind of agree - until he talks to this girl one on one, who knows what she really feels and is going on in her head.

She said she had a fetish....and then that was it!
What's her fetish?
Maybe she likes being tickled, maybe she likes ......well, who knows, but her admitting she had one creates a different story.

I think he's in the middle of something, have no idea what, but at this point, it's all conjecture.

Maybe she has a tickle fetish, she met a guy who has a foot fetish, and she's tempting fate.....

Remember when many of us thought we were totally alone? Hell, I STILL haven't met anyone who has a hint
of a fetish at all! If anyone in any of my hundreds of friends has a tickle fetish, I don't have a ghost of a clue.....
Maybe she found another human who has a fetish and wants to open up, but ....just can't get in there, you're closing up, and she has a boyfriend, and it's probably all screwed up. But, she's a girl, so she subconsciously knows she's got it easier....

Until something else happens in that you get more info, you're in a strange place.....

 

[ArchNemesis]

Maybe try to get a different roommate situation so if this happens again you can just do what you want if her feet are within reach. I mean, you and your roommate aren't friends you're just roommates I hope? If you're friends then it gets more complicated. I hate that...don't give me no bullshit about "how could you do that, she's my girlfriend?" Shut up, I do what I want.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

This is what I'm trying to figure out. I've never been attracted to her, and she knows that in no way do I like her. But she must've seen me look at her feet, and she must've thought that I have a foot fetish, so now she thinks I'm checking her out. This girl seriously acts like a child and I have zero attraction to her, I'm just wondering where the sudden impulse of questions is coming from. What good does it do her to know what my fetishes are?

clearly she's seen you stealing glances at her feet every chance you get....

Funny how much this has changed since the first post. In the beginning you said she had cute feet, so yes, ogling someone's feet, they're going to notice. You getting hyper defensive about it didn't help keep things quiet, she knew she struck a nerve. So she puts them on display for you. Good to enjoy the view if you can refrain from turning into Don Knotts on the inside.

 

[Wesker28]

Intriguing, It sounds like the girl is either messing you around, has a foot fetish herself, or she secretly likes you.

 

[Mitchell]

I would merely ignore her. I had a situation like this happen, with a friend's gf, and it all came to no good.

When I was in college, I belonged to a club called Circle K. Through the club,. I first met this guy Tom, who I became friendly with. The next year, when we went back to school, he met and started dating a girl,. Stacy. They were together all year, but she consistently told me how she wished she was with me. She spent the whole next summer, calling me at home, sending me letters, candy, etc.

My friendship with Tom was rocky. I thought perhaps Stacy and I would get together, but.. the next year, when they went back to school, I had graduated and was working, and would visit them on weekends. I soon found out that even though Tom and Stacy were not "Going out", they were still having sex! At the end of that school year, Tom's and my friendship ended, and Stacy proceeded to just drop out on me, and went her own way. I know that Tom resented how Stacy behaved. He kept saying that she was calling me to piss him off, even though other friends of mine thought she really liked me, and realized she had made a mistake by being with him.

Situations like this.. involving girls, roommates, and close friends, to my knowledge, rarely work out. Also, Stacy knew I had a foot fetish, because Tom used to go to the "Trashy Magazines Store" with me, and see me looking at Leg and Foot magazines. He once off handishly said something to Stacy like "If Mitch was your bf, he would probably want to kiss your feet". During the summer she was calling me, on the phone, I admitted my foot fetish to her, one of the few girls I'd had the guts to do so with. She was accepting. She said something like " If we were serious, I'd let you play with my feet, no biggie". The bottom line is.. my friendship with Tom ended, partially because of his anger about Stacy's attention toward me, and I didn't end up with Stacy as my gf either, either because she felt guilty about Tom or for whatever other reason.

Sorry for the long explanation. My bottom line view.. no matter how much this girl "teases you" with her feet, stay away.

 

[Jagermeistered]

Your roommate will find out because she will tell him. Then he will beat you to death, and force his girlfriend to help him toss your blood stained corpse into a restaurant dumpster, then they will go to Denny's for 'breakfast anytime' and she will blow him in the parking lot to release his pent up pressure and guilt. The end.

He was watching a CSI or NCIS episode when he typed up this post.

 

[Jagermeistered]

Just use the annoyance you feel to get yourself out of the room when she's around and go interact with other people in other locations. You say she's unattractive and off limits even if you did like her- so leave.

Plenty of girls around on a university campus and the overwhelming majority have feet. (I guarantee it.) Is there a dance program? Lots of girls with aching feet and almost exclusively gay male classmates. Modern dancers as opposed to classical ballet dancers don't wear shoes when performing so you can even check out the buffet. If you prefer high arches hook up with one of the ballet girls. And since none of them are professionals their feet won't be completely battered. Yet. Theater program? Mainly ditto for the sexuality of the male classmates and a bunch of pretty, and unconventional, girls insecure about everything- talent, weight, looks- make with the cleverly sincere praise, which is an art in itself and there you are.

As a final caveat, NEVER EVER ask a dancer if she's flexible. She is- she knows it- it goes with the territory- but they consider anyone who asks to be a complete pervert and will staple their own knees together sooner than sleep with you. And don't ask if she can 'stand on her toes'. Ask if she does pointework, and don't pronounce the 'e'.

Point is, just avoid the roommate's annoying girlfriend and go find someone else for yourself.

Great post as well!

 

[jhop220]

He was watching a CSI or NCIS episode when he typed up this post.

I was thinking Criminal Minds

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

Tell us, you said you slept with her roommate, when you did, did you pay any attention to her feet, or tickle her? Perhaps that's the source of her curiosity...

Not at all. I may have glanced at her feet, but nothing out of the ordinary. When I have sex, I usually don't do too much with feet. Sometimes I will, but most of the time no.

I am under the impression that she may either be into feet already or is curious to explore it. She may have also stumbled onto something you either had laying around or said that has her targeting you about the fetish. Also, based on this, I am making a further assumption that her bf, your roomate is not into feet and not giving hre what shes wants or is curious about...

This is what I'm worried of. I feel like some day she's just going to put her feet in my lap. I feel I could refrain from doing anything, but there's the slight chance I won't be able to help myself.

 

[rhiannon]

This is what I'm worried of.

Seriously, that sounds more like wishful thinking.