Rough times with Jennifer

[Butterfly wings]

Last night me and Jennifer had a long talk about how she misses me so much and needs me etc.... But she also has told me that in a way she doesn't know if she wants to move on with her life or not!!!! But she also does not want to lose me at all and she asks herself what is she doing with a 22 year old. So many things are going on in her head and heart right now she has told me she doesn't know which one to follow and trust. And she told me that she just needs my support now more then ever and i'm more then willing to support her through this with in whatever way that i can.

But in a big way i feel betrayed and slapped in the face. 🙁. Up until this point her and me we're going very great and with both made each other really happy in life. But now for the last few she has been thinking alot and wondering weather or not that she will be able to last theses next few months until the summer time to see me. And that is what hurts me deep down the most. She doesn't want to lose me but she doesn't know if she can wait and hold off any much longer until this summer? 🙁. I feel like she is just giving up and tossing in the white towel.

I feel like it's all my fault now every bit of it.

I sent her a really sad e-card just a few minutes ago telling her how sorry i was and how much everything i do i screw up in.

I just need prayers.

 

[amk714]

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Hang in there, Butterfly Wings. 🙂

 

[gargoyleofdusk]

My dark friend.
I do hope she can figure her feelings out, and not lose you, or what you have, in any way.
Long distance relationships are very hard - cannot hug a computer (I've tried).
Support her, try to be patient, and just let her know how much she does mean to you - and I'm sure she'll reciprocate.

 

[ticklingfeet4fu]

You have my prayers butterfly. Everything will be alright.

 

[Butterfly wings]

Thank you amk and gargoyleofdusk. I e-mailed her a long e-mail. And have done all that i can do. So now it's all in Gods hands. But thank you again so much.

 

[Goodieluver]

Just an irk of mine but, god is not a dating service and doesnt work in that way

but hope yer relationship thing works out

 

[RobAce]

I normally dont like sticking my nose into others relationships, because often times more harm can be done than good. But Butterfly I see another message like this (good and bad) about every other day. I dont have first hand knowledge of your situation but in dealings in my past before I was married (I was married when I was 27 and Im now 33) I see a few red flags you should be concerned about.

My main question would be for her is what excatly is making her not want to wait. What is she having a problem waiting for. Is it attention? Affection? It shouldnt be the feeling of being loved, its certain you give her those feelings. Could it be trust? Does she not trust herself...or you? Again this is why I try to stay out of matters of the heart, they are fragile and unless you are in the postion its hard to determine what excatly is going on and the best advice to give.

I hope the best for you...but it seems there are a lot of unresolved personal issues with her, it could be because of age, peer pressure, parents or just her enviroment. If you could arrange to see her sooner it might not be a bad idea. But again I stress that I dont know enough of your situation to be inclined to place fault with you or anyone.

Love is a strange thing and it does diffrent things to diffrent people.

Rob

 

[Butterfly wings]

I normally dont like sticking my nose into others relationships, because often times more harm can be done than good. But Butterfly I see another message like this (good and bad) about every other day. I dont have first hand knowledge of your situation but in dealings in my past before I was married (I was married when I was 27 and Im now 33) I see a few red flags you should be concerned about.

My main question would be for her is what excatly is making her not want to wait. What is she having a problem waiting for. Is it attention? Affection? It shouldnt be the feeling of being loved, its certain you give her those feelings. Could it be trust? Does she not trust herself...or you? Again this is why I try to stay out of matters of the heart, they are fragile and unless you are in the postion its hard to determine what excatly is going on and the best advice to give.

I hope the best for you...but it seems there are a lot of unresolved personal issues with her, it could be because of age, peer pressure, parents or just her enviroment. If you could arrange to see her sooner it might not be a bad idea. But again I stress that I dont know enough of your situation to be inclined to place fault with you or anyone.

Love is a strange thing and it does diffrent things to diffrent people.

Rob

Thanks for the advice Rob. I'm the type of person though that likes to get some advice from other people no matter if they know the situation or not. Good advice that is. Something that helps. It just makes me feel better and puts my worrys to rest for the time being.

Well i personally think that she doesn't want to wait anymore because she is in college (her freshman year) and i'm not in college. And i'm also 22 years old and she is only 18 years old going on 19 years old and i also feel that she doesn't trust me when i tell her that i would do whatever it takes to be with her in the long term. I don't have a problem that she is only 18 years old and in college.

Thoses three factors i think are things that are holding her back and making her have doubts. Which is understandable believe me.

But i still just feel deep down that her and me should at least try if we don't work out and nothing happens between us then we can at least say that we tryed but it just wasn't right. And then after that we can move on with our lifes. I think that is only fair to say.

But we will both try to ride this out and see where it leads.

 

[MrPartickler]

Thanks for the advice Rob. I'm the type of person though that likes to get some advice from other people no matter if they know the situation or not. Good advice that is. Something that helps. It just makes me feel better and puts my worrys to rest for the time being.

Well i personally think that she doesn't want to wait anymore because she is in college (her freshman year) and i'm not in college. And i'm also 22 years old and she is only 18 years old going on 19 years old and i also feel that she doesn't trust me when i tell her that i would do whatever it takes to be with her in the long term. I don't have a problem that she is only 18 years old and in college.

Thoses three factors i think are things that are holding her back and making her have doubts. Which is understandable believe me.

But i still just feel deep down that her and me should at least try if we don't work out and nothing happens between us then we can at least say that we tryed but it just wasn't right. And then after that we can move on with our lifes. I think that is only fair to say.

But we will both try to ride this out and see where it leads.

I wrote some advice before, BW. I, too, don't really like to give it on relationships, but I'm chiming in again because I think you're going down a familiar path that folks--especially youung folks--go through with long-distance relationships.

There's a temporary fix for this: go see her and do it soon! Don't wait; just go for a weekend or something. This may be hard to hear, but I think she's right to want to not waste her youth waiting on the "idea" of being with someone. Neither should you, IMHO. (Again, been there, done that with long distance relationships.) She says she needs you and misses you. So, if it's at all in your power, get there!

 

[RobAce]

Mr. Part, I agree 100%. If you can make it BW, if even just for a short time it will help a lot. Lots of good advice there, and yes BW it is good to get advice from a lot of sources and advice from those that might have been there before. A lot of us have.
I hope for the best for you and hopefully soon you two will be able to be togeather. Make the most of the time you have, and hopefully it will last a lifetime.

Rob

 

[isabeau]

i dont have much more advice than the others. butterflywings. however why do you think its your fault? relationships take both to work. i think you have been very sweet, asking what she would like for christmas. and giving her those great gifts. i can see you really like her. if you could maybe you should go see her sooner. and good luck whatever happens. thats not much difference in age either.

isabeau

 

[Butterfly wings]

however why do you think its your fault? relationships take
isabeau

First of all i just want to say thank you to everybody that has helped me out and gave me advice in any way that you could. From amk to Rob to german (with sending me a private message) to Mr.Part to Goodieluver to isabeau and to anybody else that i forgot to mention.....



And to isabeua's question now.

Why do i think it's my fault?


Because i should have seen it coming. I was blinded. I just feel like it was something that i did to her or said that made her think twice about me now and about this summer in seeing me. Like i have hurt her so deeply and bruised her heart so much that she can never get over it. But for the life of me i have no idea what i could have done to her or said to her or didn't say.

I have sent her like three short and long e-mails and a couple e-cards. And now she is not even talking to me. All i want to do is support her and help her get through this and help her get through theses few more months. That's all i want to do.

 

[isabeau]

First of all i just want to say thank you to everybody that has helped me out and gave me advice in any way that you could. From amk to Rob to german (with sending me a private message) to Mr.Part to Goodieluver to isabeau and to anybody else that i forgot to mention.....



And to isabeua's question now.

Why do i think it's my fault?


Because i should have seen it coming. I was blinded. I just feel like it was something that i did to her or said that made her think twice about me now and about this summer in seeing me. Like i have hurt her so deeply and bruised her heart so much that she can never get over it. But for the life of me i have no idea what i could have done to her or said to her or didn't say.

I have sent her like three short and long e-mails and a couple e-cards. And now she is not even talking to me. All i want to do is support her and help her get through this and help her get through theses few more months. That's all i want to do.

that doesnt make it your fault. especially if you cannot think of anything you did or said. hmmm and now she wont answer? do you have her phone number? she could hardly avoid you then. she at least owes you some sort of explanation. you seem like such a great guy, i hate to see you hurt. anyway you can always pm me if you like. i'm not that great on giving advice, but i'm a good listener. most of the time that is.

isabeau

 

[CurtWild]

Last night me and Jennifer had a long talk about how she misses me so much and needs me etc.... But she also has told me that in a way she doesn't know if she wants to move on with her life or not!!!! But she also does not want to lose me at all and she asks herself what is she doing with a 22 year old. So many things are going on in her head and heart right now she has told me she doesn't know which one to follow and trust. And she told me that she just needs my support now more then ever and i'm more then willing to support her through this with in whatever way that i can.

But in a big way i feel betrayed and slapped in the face. 🙁. Up until this point her and me we're going very great and with both made each other really happy in life. But now for the last few she has been thinking alot and wondering weather or not that she will be able to last theses next few months until the summer time to see me. And that is what hurts me deep down the most. She doesn't want to lose me but she doesn't know if she can wait and hold off any much longer until this summer? 🙁. I feel like she is just giving up and tossing in the white towel.

I feel like it's all my fault now every bit of it.

I sent her a really sad e-card just a few minutes ago telling her how sorry i was and how much everything i do i screw up in.

I just need prayers.

i haven`t read any of the other posts but.....

sounds just like what i`m going through.....don`t fucking give up hope and don`t fucking let her go.