Ruined relationship(s) because of tickle fetish?

[TickleMyFancy]

That sucks,

I could swear I just read a post of yours the other day regarding something along the lines of "your tickling him more, and he is starting to like it now"

Be glad he did it now though, do you really wanna be with someone who doesn't like participating with your kinks?

He was doing fine with my fetish! That's the weird part.
But I guess he thought my fetish was playful tickling only or something, and my more hardcore tickling videos scared him away 🙁

 

[socktickler86]

Aww I'm sorry to hear that. I guess some people can't handle it in the end. It's too bad something so small could break up a relationship.

 

[Simon Mills]

Even as a 'Ler, the idea of 'lee-ing... at all, let alone "hardcore"... took me a while to get into; I still have issues with being heavily restrained, and sometimes need to be let out suddenly or I'll panic (not in a fun way... at least, not in a way that anybody I trust enough to restrain me in the first place would consider fun. I hope). I've improved, some, but it's not the easiest thing to grow into. I can understand how that might frighten, a little bit.

Said understanding has made me... um... not the least bit gentler, as a 'Ler; they're asking for it.

 

[TickleMyFancy]

Even as a 'Ler, the idea of 'lee-ing... at all, let alone "hardcore"... took me a while to get into; I still have issues with being heavily restrained, and sometimes need to be let out suddenly or I'll panic (not in a fun way... at least, not in a way that anybody I trust enough to restrain me in the first place would consider fun. I hope). I've improved, some, but it's not the easiest thing to grow into. I can understand how that might frighten, a little bit.

Said understanding has made me... um... not the least bit gentler, as a 'Ler; they're asking for it.

I tried explaining to him that those videos are fantasy and are not anything near what I'm expecting or asking him to do, but he didn't get it.

 

[ticklemepls]

I tried explaining to him that those videos are fantasy and are not anything near what I'm expecting or asking him to do, but he didn't get it.

hey know the greatest thing about now being single? You're free to hunt out a new lee (or lee's) and act out some of those videos!!!! 🙂 Could be fun! 🙂

 

[TickleMyFancy]

hey know the greatest thing about now being single? You're free to hunt out a new lee (or lee's) and act out some of those videos!!!! 🙂 Could be fun! 🙂

This is very true 🙂 back on the prowl!

 

[ticklishfan]

sorry to here that tori. As far as I'm concerned it's his loss, if he couldn't appreciate that part of you. someone will accept you for who you are. it will work out for you

 

[Vega199]

Even as a 'Ler, the idea of 'lee-ing... at all, let alone "hardcore"... took me a while to get into; I still have issues with being heavily restrained, and sometimes need to be let out suddenly or I'll panic (not in a fun way... at least, not in a way that anybody I trust enough to restrain me in the first place would consider fun. I hope). I've improved, some, but it's not the easiest thing to grow into. I can understand how that might frighten, a little bit.

Said understanding has made me... um... not the least bit gentler, as a 'Ler; they're asking for it.

This is true but at the same time I would trust my partner to stop doing something if it got to intense.

 

[ShiningIce]

I'm sure there are plenty of men in the forum who would gladly take his place.

 

[giggle-maker]

Sorry about the breakup. If he was starting to go along with you tickling him (even slowly) but the videos were the tipping point, then it might not be the content of the videos but simply owning any videos in the first place. Some SO's, especialy if they're vanilla, might not like the idea of their boyfriend/girlfriend having porn in the first place and view it subconciously as a form of competiton for your affections. Now elevate that with the fact that they were tickle videos (and quantity doesn't necessarily matter) and he might have felt an inadequacy that he would be unable to live up to that otherwise wouldn't seem as impossible had it been regular porn.

Either way, you'll know you are better off if you find someone that shares your intrests and has more in common with you. I wish you all the happiness you deserve.

 

[Freethought]

I can relate to what you are saying about being "hateful" toward your fetish. I often think that life would be a lot simpler if I were just a good old fashioned tits and ass man. But in the end if we try to change something that is so integral to who we are it's going to change everything else about us too and that's no way to live.

Have you considered that it isn't realistic for any two people to be able to satisfy ever kink and desire the other person has? You might find someone who accepts you enough to be open about that.

Breakups suck. Hang in there my friend.

 

[Nextrend2011]

Don't be hateful for who you are. Not ONE bit. Your likes, dislikes, kinks....it's all what makes you unique as an individual and when it comes to relationships, if someone was meant to be that special person in your life, they'll accept you for everything that you are including your quirks, flaws, and special traits that make you the amazing person that I'm sure you are 🙂 He obviously just didn't get it and if he's going to throw away an entire relationship over a few videos and not being able to "fulfill your tickling desires", then he's not the right OPEN MINDED individual that you need in your life. The doors of opportunity are open now and I have full faith that you'll find yourself a fun partner soon. Keep your head up, your fingers nimble, and your spirits high....tis the only way to live these days 😀

 

[Vega199]

Just thought of something. This thread should be renamed. It wasn't your fetish that ruined the relationship. It was his closed-mindedness.

 

[Christophe117]

oh it is not fair from your boyfriend to react like that ... it was not the true boy for you, i think. And you may not hate your tickle fetish, really not... I support you. Big hug🙂

xxx

 

[marcusb]

Yes. Although it had not really reached the "relationship" status... once I revealed my interest she vanished.

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?146807-Hmm.-Told-person-I-m-seeing-about-my-interest

 

[ticklebunny 2]

TickleMyFancy I am so sorry that this happened to you. 🙁 That is really sad and really too bad. I would not say that your ex is a jackass. It sounds like he tried to do it gently and kindly-did not just bolt out the door-he gave you a explanation-summed it up to you-just not/feels not comfortable with tickling in general-did not sound like he was blaming you. I am not saying it was a nice thing he did-it is still bit sad and lets face it like we all have come to experience at some point in our lives-break ups suck-so heartbreaking/so painful. It still very sad and sucks that he broke up with you-but sounds like he did it like a man/gentleman and not a coward that many guys can sadly tend to become when the going can get rough-not all guys but sadly too many-don't want to face the music-when the guy wants to break up with the woman-wants to take the easy way out and bolt. It sounds like he did not do that to you so that is good. Least he did not break up with you, did not leave you with no word and no explanation-least even though going to hurt for some time-least likely give you more emotional closure a lot faster-than scratching your head wondering what went wrong. You know why it was a deal breaker for him. While it sadly is a great loss that he left-least this gives you time as a individual and a strong independent woman-to get in touch with what you want in life-what your future goals will be, what you wish to happen in your life-a chance for you to build more confidence in yourself even more-feel more in tune/confident in your skin about your tickle kink, individual kinks-give you time to embrace your uniqueness/kinks. Give you a chance to know what you want, what is a deal breaker, what you will budge/compromise on-issue wise in next relationship-what is not negotiable-not budge on. Just don't rush back out there if you can help it. I know it going to be painful-but try to take this time to be good to yourself, grief the loss, cry if you feel like it-let it out-allow yourself to feel sad and bad for a while-then when you are ready get back out there with your friends, family and loved ones-when you feel ready to get back out there on the dating scene on the prowl again-you will know more what you want-be more likely to get what you want-avoid what you don't want. I hope this helps. I am sorry that things did not work out-if ever you wish to chat/someone to listen pm me anytime. I am here for you TickleMyFancy. Hugs 🙁

 

[mabus]

TickleMyFancy, sorry for your loss, but let me look at this from a different way, as I've asked other girls here:

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GUYS ARE YOU POOR GIRLS DEALING WITH?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm looking at your picture, ....I remember TickleMeP1nk lamenting the fact she couldn't get a good tickling..... I...I'm...speechless!

Maybe I've been in Louisiana too long, haven't been out of state except on rare vacations.... seriously, what are guys like elsewhere?

They meet a hot girl, stunning.....no, she doesn't have a piss or shit fetish, it's just tickling. Tickle tickle, ha ha.....

Guy: "Oh my God, get me the fuck away from me!"

I....again, speechless.........

Maybe I've also grown up in a strict Catholic-no-sex household....sister with a few kids out of wedlock, go figure, who knows how other brothers are screwed up...
Hung around Catholic or Christian friends, ..... dated two girls, married one. Unhappy to say the least.
The first girl I dated was a super duper Catholic girl. I loved her, she could have cared less for me, was always looking for other guys...no, she literally would go to church
and be looking for whatever other guy friend she had that was there! We never even held hands. I hugged her once, and then she sent me an e-mail about how uncomfortable she was....
We broke up because she asked another guy out on Christmas and blew me off....after I got her a present...and she got me nothing, of course. We never even kissed, of course.....

I think I got married because my wife would actually hold my hand!! Yes, it was that bad.

Since the divorce, I've given up on ever finding love. Hell, on even finding someone who'd touch me, ha!!

I don't say this for pity, I certainly don't need or want that, I say it to illustrate my life, and ....damn, I have several friends who are still looking for love, some
older than me. (I'm 35.....over the hill!)

I have to also admit something- I never particulary liked being tickled. But DAMN! If I ever found a girl stunningly beautiful, who wanted me, was in love with me, and all that came with that - listened to me, took walks, went out to dinner, accepted my interests, respected my beliefs even if she didn't share them.....and ALL SHE REALLY WANTED was for someone to tickle, or tickle her?!!!

THAT'S IT?!! She's not after money, not trying to control me otherwise, and all the bad relationship things people bring to a coupling...... THAT'S IT?!

I'd be estatic! I have someone who actually LIKES SEX, and is adventurous!

I ASK AGAIN, WHAT THE HELL KINDS OF GUYS ARE YOU POOR LADIES DEALING WITH?!!!! All of you, not just TickleMyFancy?!

This reminds me of a funny story, involving two "friends" who were assholes. One of them had sex with this girl they knew, and she just LAID THERE. Didn't do anything.
He complained to his friend so much, he went and had sex with her himself to see if it was true.....and he verified that
YES, SHE JUST LAID THERE. (They could do this because they were assholes, as I've said....)

Having a girl who doesn't just lay there, and who has exciting things about her, like a tickle fetish...why would any guy not want that.....unless he's an asshole?

Maybe I'm not used to the growing narcisissm of today's world, I keep hearing stories of people not satisfied in their relationships...it's sad.

If I found a pretty girl who loved me and we were a perfect match for each other...but she loved dressing up as a clown during sex or something....I'd happily buy me a damn clown outfit!
(A long as I could tickle her after....in pantyhose or stockings, of course!)

Oh, and don't delete your history. At all. Except if you're making a nuclear bomb or something. But don't make a nuclear bomb. They're really heavy.

It's your computer. Second, if you're hiding something in your relationship, you're destined for frustration and bitterness. It's basically not a relationship if you can't share your most important sexual desire. Sex will get boring REAL DAMN fast. Resentment will set in, and grow and grow over time. "Oh, I'm so glad YOU enjoyed sex, honey...LIKE I'LL EVER HAVE A FULFILLING NIGHT OF SEX, YOU TICKLE HATING ASSHOLE!!!!" I've been there - unless you're a match, forget it! You'll turn all bitter like me, don't lose that smile!
And that goes for the rest of you, too!

 

[DGF1976]

I'm sorry that this happen. Better now though than later. It's going to cliche, but he just wasn't the one for you. If he isn't willing to except everything about you, than screw him. While I don't know you personally, I'm sure you have lots to offer, not to mention, with all due respect, your a beautiful girl. Finding a guy who will let you tickle the crap out of him shouldn't be hard 😉

I've never had a girl actually break up with me for my tickling fetish by right out saying that was the reason, but I think it drove them away. A few times I was dating a girl and when I felt comfortable enough to share with them about my fetish, it started the down fall of our relationship. I actually think a couple girls were turn off by how ticklish I was. I'm a pretty big "manly" guy so finding out I can be made to crawl up in a ball and beg with a finger to my side ruined me for them. So I know how it feels to be a shame of our fetish, but it's part of us and the right persona will except it, trust me.

To quote an awesome movie, "Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

 

[ticklemepls]

mabus: i salute you, incredible post 🙂

 

[C.A.B.]

Just to flip it around for a sec... Once upon a time I had a relationship with a young woman that was quite at ease and eager about my BDSM/tickle torture fetishes... but as time wore on it became evident that she want to do (sexual) things to me that I did want any part of. She'd try to initiate time and time again, only to meet my rebuff. It was clear that it was a very strong fetish with her, but she would not come out and say it or admit it. Frankly, I would say I am not "closed-minded" but I did not enjoy or want what she had in mind. Ultimately, that was an issue that doomed the relationship. No malice or bad feelings; just two folks that were misaligned. We still chat now and then as friends. But our preferences are our own, and as fetishists of a particular kind, we should be especially understanding and respectful of others tastes... even if their taste is vanilla.

 

[usgrant]

I am available on Mondays... We could call it McLovin Mondays.

 

[TickleMyFancy]

TickleMyFancy, sorry for your loss, but let me look at this from a different way, as I've asked other girls here:

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GUYS ARE YOU POOR GIRLS DEALING WITH?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm looking at your picture, ....I remember TickleMeP1nk lamenting the fact she couldn't get a good tickling..... I...I'm...speechless!

Maybe I've been in Louisiana too long, haven't been out of state except on rare vacations.... seriously, what are guys like elsewhere?

They meet a hot girl, stunning.....no, she doesn't have a piss or shit fetish, it's just tickling. Tickle tickle, ha ha.....

Guy: "Oh my God, get me the fuck away from me!"

I....again, speechless.........

Maybe I've also grown up in a strict Catholic-no-sex household....sister with a few kids out of wedlock, go figure, who knows how other brothers are screwed up...
Hung around Catholic or Christian friends, ..... dated two girls, married one. Unhappy to say the least.
The first girl I dated was a super duper Catholic girl. I loved her, she could have cared less for me, was always looking for other guys...no, she literally would go to church
and be looking for whatever other guy friend she had that was there! We never even held hands. I hugged her once, and then she sent me an e-mail about how uncomfortable she was....
We broke up because she asked another guy out on Christmas and blew me off....after I got her a present...and she got me nothing, of course. We never even kissed, of course.....

I think I got married because my wife would actually hold my hand!! Yes, it was that bad.

Since the divorce, I've given up on ever finding love. Hell, on even finding someone who'd touch me, ha!!

I don't say this for pity, I certainly don't need or want that, I say it to illustrate my life, and ....damn, I have several friends who are still looking for love, some
older than me. (I'm 35.....over the hill!)

I have to also admit something- I never particulary liked being tickled. But DAMN! If I ever found a girl stunningly beautiful, who wanted me, was in love with me, and all that came with that - listened to me, took walks, went out to dinner, accepted my interests, respected my beliefs even if she didn't share them.....and ALL SHE REALLY WANTED was for someone to tickle, or tickle her?!!!

THAT'S IT?!! She's not after money, not trying to control me otherwise, and all the bad relationship things people bring to a coupling...... THAT'S IT?!

I'd be estatic! I have someone who actually LIKES SEX, and is adventurous!

I ASK AGAIN, WHAT THE HELL KINDS OF GUYS ARE YOU POOR LADIES DEALING WITH?!!!! All of you, not just TickleMyFancy?!

This reminds me of a funny story, involving two "friends" who were assholes. One of them had sex with this girl they knew, and she just LAID THERE. Didn't do anything.
He complained to his friend so much, he went and had sex with her himself to see if it was true.....and he verified that
YES, SHE JUST LAID THERE. (They could do this because they were assholes, as I've said....)

Having a girl who doesn't just lay there, and who has exciting things about her, like a tickle fetish...why would any guy not want that.....unless he's an asshole?

Maybe I'm not used to the growing narcisissm of today's world, I keep hearing stories of people not satisfied in their relationships...it's sad.

If I found a pretty girl who loved me and we were a perfect match for each other...but she loved dressing up as a clown during sex or something....I'd happily buy me a damn clown outfit!
(A long as I could tickle her after....in pantyhose or stockings, of course!)

Oh, and don't delete your history. At all. Except if you're making a nuclear bomb or something. But don't make a nuclear bomb. They're really heavy.

It's your computer. Second, if you're hiding something in your relationship, you're destined for frustration and bitterness. It's basically not a relationship if you can't share your most important sexual desire. Sex will get boring REAL DAMN fast. Resentment will set in, and grow and grow over time. "Oh, I'm so glad YOU enjoyed sex, honey...LIKE I'LL EVER HAVE A FULFILLING NIGHT OF SEX, YOU TICKLE HATING ASSHOLE!!!!" I've been there - unless you're a match, forget it! You'll turn all bitter like me, don't lose that smile!
And that goes for the rest of you, too!

You made me laugh and cry all in one post 🙂 thanks so much for your detailed response 🙂)

 

[porcelaindoll2]

I'm really sorry and I've been having a hard time finding someone too. You are young and very attractive. I have no doubt it will take you long to find someone who will appreciate you for you and be able to look past your kinks. I feel if a vanilla really truly loves you they will be able to look past the kinks and even indulge because all they will care about is making you happy.

 

[maniactickler]

Your better off without him. but a word of advice, in the future, find a man thats into tickling as much as you, or youll be headed towards another failure.

 

[southernwellnes]

I agree and unfortunately I have been in the same circumstance. I know its hard but in the end you have to do and be what makes you happy