Screw This Fetish

[tcklft]

Bella's right. Those of us who get "the fetish" are just more aware of you checking out our feet, I'm sure I've been "checked out" by vanillas too. The people that pass you quickly in the halls and call out a cheerful "love the shoes!" or "cute toe ring." Don't worry~we don't think it's weird, unless you're staring like you're trying to burn a HOLE thru us! (Dead giveaway...) 😉
XOXO

Um, that would be me. Heh.

 

[ShadowTklr]

ok...you obviously havent been hurt by this and as people can tell you, people who have actually addressed me in a calm helpful manner in my own thread and in pms, i have been accepting of the help and asked questions...this was someone elses thread about wanting to give up a fetish because of the problems it causes and i dont want to sugar coat the fact that it will be easy to find the perfect girl who is also a tickle fan because its not entirely likely!
and yes, this forum does cause a problem...i almost broke up with my bf because of things that either he said on here, what people have told me and how obsessive he became with it. i have also shown this site to people who dont know my bf but are close friends of mine. when i first said that ticklinf was the fetish they thought it wasnt bad until they came on here and now they think its grotesque and dont want anyone to touch them like that again.
you havent been in my situation AND you understand me about the same amount as i understand you...but at least i have tried to accomodate something i hate as you would hate to irradicate tickling from ur life.

and you shouldnt dare because i have tried to understand, as ive tried to make the point of nonticklers understand but at least when first approached by a supportive ear...as i did first start posting not only on this webste but on this thread...i react in a polite and rational manner.

you are just rude and have no consideration for the fact that people can be emotionally and physically hurt from this.

im just sorry people like you paint such a bad light on this fetish because people like mitch have helped me understand it so much more rather than make me hate it and fear my bf will turn into someone soooooo obsessed he chooses it over me

Are we done with the pity pandering yet? Let me stop this party train of yours before you get up anymore steam. You haven't been hurt by TICKLING. You've been hurt by a person who acted like an insensitive asshole who happened to have a tickling fetish. Perhaps that's the point you so conveniently keep missing, and maybe that's why I appear to you to be so rude. Because I simply won't accept your propagandizing and convolution as an acceptable justification for your non-point. You want to put the blame for the actions of one irresponsible person at the feet of a fetish community, and specifically at the feet of the TMF. You'll have to excuse me if I tell you that's bullshit.

And your little friends are no better. Did they get all icky and like "ooooo that's gross," when they found out that people actually get sexually aroused by tickling? Gee, what a surprise.

A Tickling fetish is not something to be feared, anymore than a breast fetish, or a leg fetish or a milk fetish. It is a quirky, harmless sexual anomaly that causes some individuals to become attracted to specific things.

A knife is harmless, but in the hands of a maniac, or an incompetent, it can be a deadly weapon. So, you can dismiss me as rude all you want, but your acrimonious attitude toward something you simply don't like is what precipitated this backlash. Think about it.

 

[why?]

i honestly dont know where i lied...it may have been pure anger or frustration that has made me contridict myself but i don tsee where or how.
you have slated me for not understanding and tryin to make my own conclussions...tryin to explain how people who dont have this fetish view it.
you have spoken down to me and you have treated me like some kind of freak where i tried my best not to voice what i think some of you are...not all of you as most of you are lovely people and i do truly hope you find the person who makes u happy and can join you in this...but some of you have this deep seeded issue where perfection is not just a nice person with brains and beauty and the ability to see yourself grow old with but also a person with the same level of want for this fetish. i have said i just want my bfs obsessiveness to be cut down and to make me feel like its not the most important thing in the bedroom as well as making him feel less of a freak...as he has said he does feel like one because of this ESPECIALLY after reading what he wrote and what others write about tickling...and about making me feel comfortable and happy in the bedroom too.
i think ur just takin my opinions to heart and you are too strong headed about this matter and cant see the picture that yes there are girls out there that either do like tickling or can be persuaded to some degree but there are many many more, especially in england...that do not like tickling and get angry by it even when a friend does it as a joke in public.
a tickle fans feelings arent the only ones that have to be considered and a non tickler shouldnt be the only on to compromise!
i let myself get dragged into this world for the want to keep my boyfriend and my year long relationship. i came here to talk to people who understood like kitten toes who to some degree does understand and is tryin to make me learn to appreciate it.
im sorry, i did previously apologise to you and say that my opinions and views may be wrong but its how a non tickler sees things but yet you still called me a liar and an obsessive.
i think you need to get off your high horse and realise its not a personal attack on anyone, well it certainly did not start that way...it was merely the otherside of the coin, one which a lot of you forget to check out.
my question was previously why lose someone over this? why cant u be happy with a bit of rough and tumble once in a while and compromise it so that ur both happy and you dont grow old alone? but no...i got the answers which im scared of "tickling is as important as sex and i will never give it up" or thats the general jist...but lets face it...how many of u men will be able to have sex at 60? how many of u women will want sex when ur 60? how many people would rather be in a loving caring relationship with grandchildren at that age than have the next 10-20-30 years tickling one person to the next never settling down?
if you met someone truly amazing, someone who lights up the room and fulfills every other aspect of your life and your want, wouldnt you do anything for them as i have tried and he is now attempting?
if you dont think you can or dont want to, then that persons not right for you, if you do then fight for it with everything you can!
if peoplle can have a long distance relationship from australia to england...why cant someone tone down a tickling fetish?
that is the point i wanted to get across...THAT is how people feel about it...THAT is why non ticklers dont understand people who would rather throw away "the one" if they dont like tickling
if it is a natural obsession, how does it make it so different to alcoholism?
and sorry just read posts prior to this one...ticklng from anyone would hurt me! 2 minutes tickling on my feet and throwing up...do you think everyone would do that? do you not think that i have tried to accomodate it?
i came here to find out the degrees of this fetish and see where my boyfriend is and the likeliness of things working out yet i have found that the defensiveness has represented what i feared, not the act but the pure disregard of someones feeling of the matter, and a shining glimmer of hope from people like nyvice, making me hope it is something that can be controlled and an added perk to sex once in a while rather than the main focus

 

[kis123]

Boy, have I been trying to avoid this....

Are we done with the pity pandering yet? Let me stop this party train of yours before you get up anymore steam. You haven't been hurt by TICKLING. You've been hurt by a person who acted like an insensitive asshole who happened to have a tickling fetish. Perhaps that's the point you so conveniently keep missing, and maybe that's why I appear to you to be so rude. Because I simply won't accept your propagandizing and convolution as an acceptable justification for your non-point. You want to put the blame for the actions of one irresponsible person at the feet of a fetish community, and specifically at the feet of the TMF. You'll have to excuse me if I tell you that's bullshit.

And your little friends are no better. Did they get all icky and like "ooooo that's gross," when they found out that people actually get sexually aroused by tickling? Gee, what a surprise.

A Tickling fetish is not something to be feared, anymore than a breast fetish, or a leg fetish or a milk fetish. It is a quirky, harmless sexual anomaly that causes some individuals to become attracted to specific things.

A knife is harmless, but in the hands of a maniac, or an incompetent, it can be a deadly weapon. So, you can dismiss me as rude all you want, but your acrimonious attitude toward something you simply don't like is what precipitated this backlash. Think about it.

With all due respect:

What other platform does she have to view? What other perspective does she have besides what she's experienced for herself? There are some people who are obsessive about tickling and they're selfish, self-serving jackasses who inflict harm on others. That's what happened to her; how else should she feel?

I'm not in total agreement with all of her posts, but she can only work with her own experience, which unfortunately has been negative. Personally I think her bf should either learn how to control himself during a tickling session or get some help before he really hurts someone or gets himself hurt. Had he pulled the same crap with me that he did with her, he'd draw back a nub ! She tried to accomodate him anyway because she loved him-even thought she could get used to it; it only made him worse and he only pushed the envelope further. She had choices and I've already let her know how I felt. Maybe that's why she finally stood up to him; he should feel physically sick about the way he treated her-he doesn't deserve her IMO!

I'm not obsessed about tickling. I'm don't even think I have a fetish. I do have a passion for tickling; I love to tickle and occasionally enjoy being tickled as well. I would NEVER abuse my SO over it-I care way too much for him and our relationship than to take advantage of him. He doesn't even know about me but suspects something's going on 😉 . I enjoy tickling during sex, but don't have to have it in order to have a good time in the bedroom. If you absolutely have to have it, then find someone like-wired to share that with; not tickle someone who hates it and make them tolerate it. To me, that borders assault-the senses can only handle so much stimulation and it becomes abusive if a ler continues to do it anyway.

 

[daddy]

Exactly! One person who carries it to far is not a reflection of all of us here. Had he only tickled you a couple times a month, would it have come to this?

peace out,
daddy

Are we done with the pity pandering yet? Let me stop this party train of yours before you get up anymore steam. You haven't been hurt by TICKLING. You've been hurt by a person who acted like an insensitive asshole who happened to have a tickling fetish. Perhaps that's the point you so conveniently keep missing, and maybe that's why I appear to you to be so rude. Because I simply won't accept your propagandizing and convolution as an acceptable justification for your non-point. You want to put the blame for the actions of one irresponsible person at the feet of a fetish community, and specifically at the feet of the TMF. You'll have to excuse me if I tell you that's bullshit.

And your little friends are no better. Did they get all icky and like "ooooo that's gross," when they found out that people actually get sexually aroused by tickling? Gee, what a surprise.

A Tickling fetish is not something to be feared, anymore than a breast fetish, or a leg fetish or a milk fetish. It is a quirky, harmless sexual anomaly that causes some individuals to become attracted to specific things.

A knife is harmless, but in the hands of a maniac, or an incompetent, it can be a deadly weapon. So, you can dismiss me as rude all you want, but your acrimonious attitude toward something you simply don't like is what precipitated this backlash. Think about it.

 

[why?]

Exactly! One person who carries it to far is not a reflection of all of us here. Had he only tickled you a couple times a month, would it have come to this?

peace out,
daddy

no it wouldnt have and thats why i came here...it was only when my queries and definitions of how i could relate it were rudely slated that i had to push the point further.

i may be wrong in some instances and i know 99% of you wouldnt agree with most of my points right or not because u dont understand them like i dont understand yours.

i just have one question...if i were claustraphobic and my lover forcefully tied me to a bed and blindfolded me in the dark causing me mental and physical discomfort for his fetish, would you think me so wrong for feeling it were wrong if it were pushed to that level?

 

[kingp]

Claustraphobic

To answer your question, if anyone had done that to me, I would have ended the relationship right then and there. I wouldn't have allowed it to continue. I have read many of the entries here and while I am no where near a Doctor, I would have to say that both you and your boyfriend need to find other partners in life. He should not have taken the tickling into abuse, which many on this forum are very careful to say, "trust" is the main thing needed in exploring and having fun with this fetish, and when one side feels abused, then the trust has been destroyed.

I fear it has reached a level now where it will always be an issue between the two of you, and he will feel ashamed for wanting to tickle you, and you will be annoyed whenever he tries to tickle you.

To hear a vanilla call the fetish "grotesque" and saying other vanillas agree with that assessment is very tough to hear on my end. I too have been to the "Screw this fetish..." point in my life, but I can NOT deny that it is an integral part of me. Interwoven into my essential being.

There was a time in my life when I really thought I was the ONLY person in the world who liked to tickle. This was before the internet.

Years later, thanks to sites like this, I know I am not a freak, just one who has a different taste in things. If such a site had existed before I had met my wife, I probably would not have ended up with her. If I were to marry again it would be to a woman from here who would enjoy it as much as me. My wife no longer accomodates my fetish and whenever I try to tickle her, she puts up with it for a second or two before I get the "there he goes again" look and I feel like an idiot because if its no fun for her, then its no fun for me. We get along on many items, but this is one area where we don't.

The point is, don't be so afraid of being alone that it get's you into a situation where you are not happy and question your basic desires. You both can wind up being very alone and still be with one another. I think you two will find happiness in this life, but it may not be with each other.

No one is wrong, no one is right, it just didn't work out. That's all. If you feel abused "why" then don't stand for it.

 

[Mr.Tickler]

no it wouldnt have and thats why i came here...it was only when my queries and definitions of how i could relate it were rudely slated that i had to push the point further.

i may be wrong in some instances and i know 99% of you wouldnt agree with most of my points right or not because u dont understand them like i dont understand yours.

i just have one question...if i were claustraphobic and my lover forcefully tied me to a bed and blindfolded me in the dark causing me mental and physical discomfort for his fetish, would you think me so wrong for feeling it were wrong if it were pushed to that level?

You weren't after understanding the fetish,though,when things you said were exposed as wrong comparisons,you attacked & insulted,& quickly put yourself in a "poor me" light,while carefully boasting about your educational background.You even advised me to take literary skills when I read everything you said line for line. Obviously,for all your smarts you can't(or pretend you can't) recall about 3 bald-faced lies you said & even contradicted yourself on several occasions.You tell Shadowtkler to never tell you to understand the fetish when you kept saying your motivation was to understand it.Then when you're called on this, you justify it & say if you lied a number of times there was a logical explanation for it.And anyone who dare,however gently, tell you that your views were skewed is delusional,defensive, & most of all, "bashing" & "irritating" your patience, & not "helping you".Then you make false allegations about being called a "freak", & all the while compliment yourself on having social conduct by coming to the forum to "learn".You lashed out at people trying to help, but quickly rationalized your obnoxious, arrogant remarks.It seems to me you responded best to pity,and I believe you are after pity more than genuine understanding.



Now, you are correct, all that said,I do not know your situation,or what abuse your bf subjected to.I am not a mind-reader,just as you don't know what I or anyone else has been through.You have no idea what I've been through in life, sexuality-issues totally aside.If your bf used tickling & vomit-inducing techniques on you to get off,& refuses to change, like so many very gently have told you,-LEAVE HIM.If tickling angers you & most women in England as you said,..find someone that isn't into it.It should be a lot easier for you based on your viewpoints & what you've been through.Belching & farting get me angry, so I won't get a lady that disrespects me so & desires to do it in the bedroom come business time. Otherwise, what do you really want? What answers about fetishism are you searching for? Other than coming on here & manipulating & trying to create discord,& being dishonest under the guise of nobody understanding your plight, what the hell do you want? I just opened up about this fetish online here a few months ago,& I did it to figure out more about it myself.I didn't come here to get involved in this kind of shit.

 

[why?]

i wanted to know how obsessive it can be, how "natural" this is...and i use the quote marks because when i did imply it to natural wants, obsessions, addictions and mental states which both eathing disorders and alcoholism are i got abuse. i dont want to break up with my boyfriend because this is the one area where we dont work 100%. except for the tickling we have a great sex life and work well together. i wanted to see if what he was doing and the lengths in which he took were normal and if there are means in which i could keep him and myself happy without this causing problems.
i didnt dislike or think this fetish was freakish even though i disliked bein tickled. yet with advice HE was given when he was a member here where he was actually encouraged to tickle others even though he clearly stated that i viewed it as cheating because he did hold it so highly and for being ridiculed even before i came on here for my opinions and fears about the matter, then coming on here...somewhere down the line i have conflicting views. i dont want him to completely cut out the tickling even though he does because of all the trouble its caused because i know its part of him and he enjoys it, but i also dont want it to get to the point it has been again because the last time we almost broke up about it when i first found this site and the personal and incorrect information he was posting about me, we did cut down but it was growin and growin and growing again.
i wanted to know how likely it is that it can be toned down or that if we did stop like he wants how likely or long it would be until he either got frustrated and took it out on me again or went somewhere else...both being completely destructive to our relationship.
i will admit....last night i was a bit drunk as well...between this and family matters i dont know where my arse is to my head.
i still do believe that u implied im some kinda freak through what you said and the lengths in which you argued with me and other people prior to this post, even prior to me coming on here have called me a freak on here. i do think that in some cases this can be quite grotesque as can all fetishes for example a dog licking feet, to me that boarders something illegal as it is getting sexual pleasure from seeing or having an animal do something to you. but i dont think anyone is a freak...yes i would probably pass judgement on people who get off on cuttin off theres or someone elses limbs (there is a fetish for that apparently) but my issues with tickling are from my own experiences and my lack of understanding as it is with my friends. no one who is a non lee or ler can truly understand it the same way in which no man can understand the true feeling of being a woman and vice versa. but as ive said, people like kitten toes have given me pointers and tips as a previous non tickle fan on how to try and ease into this and tryin to get me to understand.
i knew from my boyfriends posts and replies i was going to get some bad responses and its probably due to the previous ridicule that i did take the defensive which i am sorry about but if u show this argument to a non tickle fan, as i have done, they would agree with me as would tickle fans to the same level of you.
this fetish has scarred me and i am tryin my best to actually help myself and my boyfriend by attempting to at least fade the scars instead of sticking makeup over them and ignoring them.
i came here even though this place has done so much damage to my confidence and my relationship because it was the only place i knew where people would understand my boyfriends side of things as talkin to someone who 1. didnt know him and 2. didnt care for or understand the fetish or what its like would have no affect.
i have been in two minds about this relationship ever since this website had occured as it made me feel it was more involved than i had previously thought but i was hoping that coming on here and being part of it rather than thinking that some of you are bad influences or weird, as i will admit due to some of the advice he was given i was disgusted, that i wont fear this fetish anymore and realise it can be toned down and its not AS big as i thought it was.
im just hoping its his youth and naivity that has caused a sudden flux in this interest and that it would get to the point were hes with me at home but tickling everyone else in sight for some kind of exchange or just because he cant control himself

 

[kis123]

If the fetish turns obsessive, it is just as bad as dealing with an addict, IMO. Let me try to explain myself (hold the tomatoes until I'm finished please).

Many of us here on the fourm have our little "habits." Some of us smoke, some drink, some even use drugs (recreationally). I don't have a problem with any of these; I don't smoke, I do drink, and don't use drugs so I'm not here to judge.

Some people cross a line where the occasional thing turns into the daily (or several tmes daily) habit. Then that habit turns obsessive and addictive; it gets a life of its own and takes over the person. Unfortunately, this can happen to a ticklephile as well. That individual has lost control of their tickling fetish (passion) and it's taken over his/her life. Their only goal is self-gratification and they don't care who gets hurt during the process.

The majority of the 30,000 + members here are just fine; they have jobs, family, are students, and live pretty interesting lives. But there is a small group of folks who are so wrapped up in their fetish that it makes them narcissistic (sp) and it's all about them. They don't care if they abuse their lee as long as they get theirs. I have never been in the chatroom because of some of the crap that sometimes goes on in there.

I've heard many say that this fetish is just who they are and I agree. You just can't let it dictate your life and you can't let it ruin someone else's. Each person that comes into "your" life (you being hypothetical) that you abuse with tickling gets turned into someone who hates ticklephiles. They only have "your" experience to use as a gauge an opinion of all of us.

I have a good idea how why feels; I was abused with tickling before. It's the most horrific feeling you can have when someone tickles you wheh you don't want to be tickled. Just because you're laughing doesn't mean you like what's happening to you. Stop means stop, and "no" means no; when you continue to tickle away you stop being a ler and become the aggressor.

The good news is that these abusive episodes didn't take away my tickling passions; it actually lead me to all of you wonderful folks here at TMF. I no longer feel like a freak and am much happier with myself since I started here three years ago.

Why, I know you're trying to make things work with your bf, but I have to go with kingp on this. If he doesn't come to terms with the direction his fetish has turned, he WILL continue to abuse you and you will continue to resent us for it. You have responsibility to yourself not to allow anyone to abuse you. If he continues to tickle you past your limits, it is considered physical abuse IMO. You cannot change him any more than he can change you. You should be prepared to love yourself enough to walk away someday. If you won't love yourself enough to stop the abuse, why should he stop doing what he's been doing to you? You've been gratifying him for over a year and you're basically miserable. In the words of Dr Phil, "how's that working for you??

Simply put, if he doesn't get some help for himself you're going to remain miserable then come on the board and lash out at the members for his shortcomings. You've gone way past the venting stage here and although I'm in your corner and understand your situation, you've unnecessarily offended a lot of people. It's time to put the baby to bed, so to speak. It's time for you to work on your relationship and resolve some of your own issues because you've allowed this to go on for a year-that simply speaks volumes to me. You can't change him, but you can definitely change you. I hope do something else to get to the next level of your life because this really isn't working. There some very nice people here in the forum, no sense of making enemies when you can make so many more friends here.

 

[kingp]

Kis

Well said Kis.....Good share as "they" say.

 

[ShadowTklr]

With all due respect:

What other platform does she have to view? What other perspective does she have besides what she's experienced for herself? There are some people who are obsessive about tickling and they're selfish, self-serving jackasses who inflict harm on others. That's what happened to her; how else should she feel?

I'm not in total agreement with all of her posts, but she can only work with her own experience, which unfortunately has been negative. Personally I think her bf should either learn how to control himself during a tickling session or get some help before he really hurts someone or gets himself hurt. Had he pulled the same crap with me that he did with her, he'd draw back a nub ! She tried to accomodate him anyway because she loved him-even thought she could get used to it; it only made him worse and he only pushed the envelope further. She had choices and I've already let her know how I felt. Maybe that's why she finally stood up to him; he should feel physically sick about the way he treated her-he doesn't deserve her IMO!

I'm not obsessed about tickling. I'm don't even think I have a fetish. I do have a passion for tickling; I love to tickle and occasionally enjoy being tickled as well. I would NEVER abuse my SO over it-I care way too much for him and our relationship than to take advantage of him. He doesn't even know about me but suspects something's going on 😉 . I enjoy tickling during sex, but don't have to have it in order to have a good time in the bedroom. If you absolutely have to have it, then find someone like-wired to share that with; not tickle someone who hates it and make them tolerate it. To me, that borders assault-the senses can only handle so much stimulation and it becomes abusive if a ler continues to do it anyway.

I don't disagree with you at all Kis. That's the reason why I said I thought the behavior was the result of her bf using bad judgment, not the fetish itself. The blame falls on the person. I sympathize with Why, but I also condemn the way in which she contiues to bash that which she obviously does not understand.

I'm more than happy to help, I truly am. But I really don't like being told I'm part of a problem that I didn't create. I hope that helps explain my position more clearly.

 

[ShadowTklr]

i honestly dont know where i lied...it may have been pure anger or frustration that has made me contridict myself but i don tsee where or how.
you have slated me for not understanding and tryin to make my own conclussions...tryin to explain how people who dont have this fetish view it.
you have spoken down to me and you have treated me like some kind of freak where i tried my best not to voice what i think some of you are...not all of you as most of you are lovely people and i do truly hope you find the person who makes u happy and can join you in this...but some of you have this deep seeded issue where perfection is not just a nice person with brains and beauty and the ability to see yourself grow old with but also a person with the same level of want for this fetish. i have said i just want my bfs obsessiveness to be cut down and to make me feel like its not the most important thing in the bedroom as well as making him feel less of a freak...as he has said he does feel like one because of this ESPECIALLY after reading what he wrote and what others write about tickling...and about making me feel comfortable and happy in the bedroom too.
i think ur just takin my opinions to heart and you are too strong headed about this matter and cant see the picture that yes there are girls out there that either do like tickling or can be persuaded to some degree but there are many many more, especially in england...that do not like tickling and get angry by it even when a friend does it as a joke in public.
a tickle fans feelings arent the only ones that have to be considered and a non tickler shouldnt be the only on to compromise!
i let myself get dragged into this world for the want to keep my boyfriend and my year long relationship. i came here to talk to people who understood like kitten toes who to some degree does understand and is tryin to make me learn to appreciate it.
im sorry, i did previously apologise to you and say that my opinions and views may be wrong but its how a non tickler sees things but yet you still called me a liar and an obsessive.
i think you need to get off your high horse and realise its not a personal attack on anyone, well it certainly did not start that way...it was merely the otherside of the coin, one which a lot of you forget to check out.
my question was previously why lose someone over this? why cant u be happy with a bit of rough and tumble once in a while and compromise it so that ur both happy and you dont grow old alone? but no...i got the answers which im scared of "tickling is as important as sex and i will never give it up" or thats the general jist...but lets face it...how many of u men will be able to have sex at 60? how many of u women will want sex when ur 60? how many people would rather be in a loving caring relationship with grandchildren at that age than have the next 10-20-30 years tickling one person to the next never settling down?
if you met someone truly amazing, someone who lights up the room and fulfills every other aspect of your life and your want, wouldnt you do anything for them as i have tried and he is now attempting?
if you dont think you can or dont want to, then that persons not right for you, if you do then fight for it with everything you can!
if peoplle can have a long distance relationship from australia to england...why cant someone tone down a tickling fetish?
that is the point i wanted to get across...THAT is how people feel about it...THAT is why non ticklers dont understand people who would rather throw away "the one" if they dont like tickling
if it is a natural obsession, how does it make it so different to alcoholism?
and sorry just read posts prior to this one...ticklng from anyone would hurt me! 2 minutes tickling on my feet and throwing up...do you think everyone would do that? do you not think that i have tried to accomodate it?
i came here to find out the degrees of this fetish and see where my boyfriend is and the likeliness of things working out yet i have found that the defensiveness has represented what i feared, not the act but the pure disregard of someones feeling of the matter, and a shining glimmer of hope from people like nyvice, making me hope it is something that can be controlled and an added perk to sex once in a while rather than the main focus

Why, you're right. I definitely took it to heart, and that may be because for a long time when I was a kid, I felt very much the same way that Dirk (the original thread starter) felt. Sometimes you think there is something wrong with you - that you're the only one in the world who feels this way, and you fear that you will be rejected as a result of your fetish.

When I read your original post, I saw that same degree of rejection and judgment coming back full swing. It certainly read as though you were making a blanket condemnation of this community and this forum.

If I have taken your frustration and anger out of context, then I apologize. I'm not going out of my way to be rude to you. What your bf did is inexcusable, to say the least. He bears the responsibility for being gentle and understanding of your situation as well. In order for the two of you to work out, you'll have to reach some compromise so that his obsessive thoughts don't continue to be obsessive in behavior. Therapy may be necessary in order for him to identify the extent of his fetish and to gain some perspective on how to keep it under control.

Contrary to your belief, I am not part of the problem here. I think most people can tell you that I try and be helpful with regards to understanding this fetish and giving some insight that I may have in order to assist others in recognizing their own feelings. All I ask is that if you're going to request understanding, that you give us an opportunity to grant it, before you condemn us for not being normal.