sexual identity/origins of your sexuality

[siamese dream]

These are some ideas about sexuality that came from a topic on another board about whether or not you are born with your sexual orientation. The topic of fetishes and sexual interets came into the discussion, and I wanted to write some of these ideas here, since they can relate to us.

I think sexuality isn't something you are born with... children begin to fall into a certain social order at a very young age, before puberty. Different kids become shy, or outspoken, they show their personalities and all relate to each other differently. I think the origins of your sexuality are in this part of your childhood, where you begin to relate to the opposite sex. It develops in what kind of people or things you feel attracted to at that age, what you pick up from your peers, your parents, your families behavior, and also from television and media. And I think that homosexuality and heterosexuality are developed here. But at that age, you still have no real concept of what "sexuality" is, it is only the beginnings of what you will become as an adult. The childhood attractions and inclinations carry over into mature sexuality as an adult. I think that fetishes also develop during this time, though they won't be recognized as sexual until you're older.

A lot of gay people, when asked about whether or not it is a choice, say that they've been gay since birth, and had no choice in it. This is true, because there was no conscious choice, but I don't agree with the "from birth" part. How can we know if we've felt something since birth? We can't remember our infancy. If you can, then you have more working brain cells than me 😉. And as an adult, our childhood becomes somewhat of a blur... we have some vivid memories, but we can't remember exactly what school was like every day, small details. We have a few sharp recollections from that time, but I know I can't remember the difference between the way I behaved in the third grade as opposed to how I behaved in fifth grade. And for most people, there are no memories from infancy. Our conscious memory is constantly storing new information and losing information. Perhaps every minute of our lives is stored in the unconscious; but it won't do you any good unless you can consciously remember it 😉

And people who have felt they've been interested in tickling "since forever" (most of us), it is since your first clear memories, which are usually between the ages of three/four to seven/eight or so. This is in the age group where children begin school and start relating to other kids.

Sexuality is all about psychology, as are fetishes and phobias. If the idea of it turns you on, then having it for real will turn you on. If the idea of it repulses and frightens you, then you will be afraid of it when it's real. But now I'm starting to go into another topic here, I'll shut up and let you all tell me what you think.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

this should be in another section, but which one?

a few years ago a gene was discovered, that decides if a person is going to be homosexual. so yes a person is born being homosexual or heterlsexual.
steve

 

[tklr5150]

Tickling was definitely an important social factor during my formative years. One of the main reasons I believe I developed this fetish (the only one pertinent to this particular thread) is that as a youngster, I was very interested in girls, and one of the big ways I would "flirt" (if you can call it that at the tender age of 7-10) is by chasing them down and tickling them. I usually got positive responses too. So I probably equated tickling with the affection of the opposite sex, which has contributed to my developing a sexual as well as social interest in tickling as an adult (well, kind of an adult 😛 )

 

[Krokus]

Well

As long as I can remember, tickling has always been there...It will always be there, as I know even if I tried to purge it, I would fail. 😀 😎

 

[execmail77]

Whoa! We've got a huge myth to disspell here before we get too much further. There has NOT been any "gene" identified as causing sexual identity or preference as it relates to "gayness," or anything else.

The "report" of such a gene, that I think our friend cites above, which came out a few years ago, was immediately dismissed as unfounded by a large number of those in the scientific community. And since that time, no additional study has ever replicated those original results, nor have they claimed to.

For a common sense example, consider studies done on identical (monozygotic) twins. Clearly they are genetically identical (have the same GENES), thus they look the same: same eye color, hair color, etc. But not one of these studies has ever shown a 100% concordance for "gayness" between identical twins (meaning that for every twin who was gay, every one of their identical twin siblings was also). So, a "gay gene" is non-sensical.

Does this mean sexual identity is exclusively a social construction? Not at all. The same identical twin studies do also show that there is a significantly higher rate of concordance between identical twins, and even non-identical twins, than is found in the population at large or even among siblings. So there is a strong argument that SOMETHING biological must have an impact.

The answer? Currently, I've read that the theory carrying the most weight scientifically, and the one being studied the most closely has to do with inutero hormonal releases, meaning it's thought that either the lack of, or too much secretion of certain hormones received by a fetus during gestation may impact one's sexual identity. This would explain why all twins have a higher rate of both being gay than the population at large, and also may explain why both aren't always gay (or straight), as the hormone release may impact the fetuses differently.

Now, let's turn this thread back towards what we all want to read about, anyway... tickling! 🙂

 

[Oblesklk]

I'm convinced it is genetic. I'm not entirely certain there's an actual "tickle gene" out there.

But I'm pretty certain there is a passive gene that causes a rush of oxytocin to the brain of (primarily) males during development. This hormone causes attachment to various objects in one's environment, even in adult years. So an overabundance of the hormone during development may very well lead to a fetish in later years. Why tickling...who knows?

Fetishes to me don't make a lot of evolutionary sense, considering that in humans, they are dominated by males. If it is an evolutionary advantage to have a fetish and find a mate through it, you should see it in females, too, in relatively equal numbers. We could all be an evolutionary mistake, wouldn't that be grand 😀 Stranger things have happened. If I am a mistake, it's sure been a fun ride so far. So who knows...it's fun to talk about though.

But I don't think it's a learned behavior, even though I can only speak for myself, naturally. Tickling has been with me since conscious thought. There was no magical event that "turned" me. I've always been like this 🙂

I have the feeling homosexuality works the same way, based on conversations with several gay friends I had in college. They were like that since conscious thought, too. It's just that it doesn't become sexual until puberty. Until then, it's just instinct, and you don't know why. Homosexuals don't "choose" their orientation, anymore than we "chose" to be ticklers. You can always quit tickling cold turkey tomorrow, but you can never deny what you are.

[edit: just read execmail's response about hormone release during development...apparently I'm not alone on this. I thought I was 😀 ]

 

[tklr5150]

Tickling has been with me since conscious thought. There was no magical event that "turned" me. I've always been like this 🙂

I have the feeling homosexuality works the same way, based on conversations with several gay friends I had in college. They were like that since conscious thought, too. It's just that it doesn't become sexual until puberty. Until then, it's just instinct, and you don't know why.

That's exactly how tickling was with me. I was always fascinated by it, always doing it whenever I could. When puberty hit, it just seemed natural that tickling was making me feel the same way other, previously unnoticed things, were making me feel.

 

[maverick83]

My belief is that physical traits (hair color, eye color, etc.) are genetically inherited while personality traits (which includes sexual preferences) are developed based on one's environment and their reactions to various stimuli in that environment. I do not believe much of one's personality is a choice. Just something that develops early in life. By the time you learn what may have contributed to your personality, it's too late to change it.(Well, not nessecarily, but it would be a daunting task.) Glad to hear that this "homosexuality gene" was a myth. Its validity would have shattered a large portion of my theory.

 

[P50]

The Scientific Truth

There is a gene that makes you believe in genetics-based explanations. If you have that gene, you will believe in genetics as the reason for most stuff. If you do not have that gene, you will not believe that genetics is responsible, and will instead look for other reasons and contributing factors. Other genes dictate what general direction your mind will take in order to explain things.

Just becasue one or both of your parents do or don't believe in genetic explanations is not sufficient evidence that you do or don't have the genetics-belief gene. Either parent could (and probably does, in most cases) carry the gene expressed as a recessive trait.

If you don't believe any of this, you probably don't have the gene, or else it's expressed as a recessive trait in your personality. Your children may or may not be genetics believers.

Studies on Gregor Mendel show that he had a second gentics-belief gene in his chromosomes. Almost all university biology professors have this gene, and the great majority of them, like Mendel, possess the second genetics-belief gene as well.

 

[kurchatovium]

Tickling has been with me ever since I could remember so I think for me as well it is genetic. There were no childhood experiences at all involving tickling, I just became fascinated with it when I learned about it.

 

[HeBeGeeBee]

Speaking of the same sex and the opposite sex, a young boy asked a young girl..."Am I the opposite sex, or are you?" Shortly thereafter she was watching him pee and he said, "No, you can't touch it...you already broke yours off."

 

[Deleted member 2452]

to all here who may be interested

the homosexual gene is not a myth. i' feel sorry for anyone who has a problem with this truth. the dr./scientist who discovered it proved it beyond a shadow of dought, to members of the medical/scientific comunity he trusted. he went on to say that, in a public statement that he would not divulge the location of the gene, or any further in fo about it. he said he was affraid it would lead to parents aborting babies(he used the term fetus) that showed they had the gene, and would therefore be homosexual as adults.
it's ok if some have closed minds, and chose not to believe. i don't care, think whatever makes you happy.
steve