Incorrect, on wanting the money and not the tickling. Most of us (myself included) want both. It's fun, but it IS a business, no doubt.
Also incorrect on the "authority women have", especially in regard to the producer. Please! The producer is the employer and like most employer/employee situations, there are FAR more models than there are of us, meaning that if a model isn't providing what a producer needs, there's another one right around the corner who will (and probably for less money). I personally don't deal with ANY model who can't/won't give me what I want/need. The producer runs the shoot or the model (whoever she may be) is out the door. Period.
But, you've already said that you couldn't run a business, so you wouldn't understand that, I suppose. That being the case, you should probably ditch your uninformed opinions about what producers "have" to deal with to procure a shoot, as they are 1) not grounded in fact and/or 2) based on your observations of a producer who doesn't know what he's doing.
On the custom issue; sorry to hear that. I know how much it sucks, because I've been there. It's one of the things that drove me to produce the stuff that I want to see (which is why most of us make what we make, the way we make it ... it's what WE want). In fact, many producers won't do customs because they are so very personal in nature. Having someone's private fantasies placed in your hands is a BIG responsibility and should never be taken lightly - or "just for the money" - by the producer. THAT is truly an insult, worthy of shame.
As for the rest, if you don't like what you see, don't buy it. Make your own stuff. Many producers started out as dissatisfied/ambitious customers. "Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way!" is my motto, so choose wisely, because Leo Tickles is right. To truly shame a producer you would have to make a better video.