she found out...

[tklgal226]

Wow, talk about timing, only a few hours after I replied to the "dealing w/ your tickling passion" post, I ran into quite a...situation.

Now, for those of you who dont know me, Im still 'in the closet' shall we say. NO ONE knows...only my boyfriend and the people here. Im very secret about it, and usually very good about covering my tracks. Im just very...paranoid, and Im sure many of you can relate with me.

So anyways, only a few hours after posting how garateful I was to have you guys and yadda yadda yadda, I was talking to my mom. Somehow, we got on the subject of computers. Long story short, she tells me that a few years ago she used to have this guy who worked for my dad check the history of our computer to see where I had gone!!! She says it was for my own good, to protect me and stuff, and I guess to make sure i wasn't like, going to porn sites at 16...? So I, silently freaking out, say "Well, it must have been pretty borning for you guys..." and she just stares at me. Like she was waiting for me to say something- it. You know when u can jsut feel it in the air? Still flipping, I was like "Whoa, look at that, Ive got to get changed for work" and basicially took off.

Now, my parents are not the type who are all too 'open' to this kinda stuff...they're very old-fashioned, and my mom and I have even had discussions where she has admitted that she found fetishes 'weird'. And now she knows this??? But Im not ever sure if she knows, which is tourture, and I of course don't want to say anything...but does she expect me too? And not only does she know, but this means that also my dad, who is WAY old fashioned, and even the freaking guy who works for him knows!! Like, not only do i feel violated, in a way...but like, I feel like Im expected to say something here and I just dont know what to do! She hasn't brought it up since, but what do i do if she does?? Do i come clean or be like "oh, i was just curious, i was going through a phase..." Please, I need help, Im VERY shy about this whole thing, i can't even say the word "tickle"!!! I know most people don't even think it's a big deal, but this is my MOM, which is crazy, and I totally didn't want it to be like this.....please help, I need advice!!!

Thanks you guys...

~clair 😕

 

[metroguy2k4]

Do you still live at home, tklgal? If not, just keep in mind that even though they're your parents, you're an adult now with your own autonomy and you don't need their approval in what you do. I know girls have that whole thing with their moms --- that complex relationship that we men can't begin to understand --- but if they know, they know, and there's nothing you can do about it now. Instead of talking about the fetish with her, just leave it at that and let her make the next move. It's doubtful that the two of you will end up in a conversation about tickling. It's more likely that she'll question you about those "weird porn sites" she found, to which you can shrug it off and say that all 16 year olds are curious about stuff like that, etc. It sounds like a bigger deal than it is. You'll see!

 

[Jimblast]

It's a good thing!

I think you should allow her to specifically bring it up and out in the open if she's compelled to do so. If she does mention it...tell you you like tickling...so what? My parents are extremely old fashioned and I told me mother about it. She knows I'm not harming anyone by it. If your mother says it's weird tell her so what if she thinks that...it's what you like and it doesn't harm anyone. She'll get over it. If she continues, ask her point blank, 'how is tickling a bad thing'? If she says 'it isn't normal' you might mention that it wasn't 'normal' to have a computer person go INTO your computer no matter what age? What possessed her to do that? If she didn't think that was wrong...why did she wait all this time to admit it to you? Is the issue you and your love for tickling or is it about trust? What are the priorities here? It's what you like, you aren't harming anyone, she thinks it's weird....I'm sure there are things about her you find weird....so what? If she asks you to seek psychiatric help tell her you'll go if she does for having trust issues. There's no argument here. If she has any courage, she'll bring it up again...if she doesn't, then move on! In the whole scheme of life, this is trivial. I think her finding out saves you the trouble constantly worrying about it. Assume she has, give her every opportunity to bring it up, if she doesn't, it's not that important in terms of her relationship with you which is how it should be.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

dear clair, relax!

in your post you relate that your mother told you that your folks were having the computer checked "a few years ago".
were you on tickle sites at the age of 16?only you know that, i sure don't! lol.
anyway, if they know, they know, so what? if they don't bring it up, don't you. you're letting paranoia take over. relax!
no one is going to cook, and eat you, esp. not your parents!
i thin kmore she was trying to coax out of you what are you up to now, or as a warning not to frequent porn sites.

steve

 

[Mitchell]

Clair,

Let me chime my "two cents" in, so to speak. I found TMF in August, 2002, and became a registered member on Sept 9. For the first couple of months, in the old chat, I kept my private business to myself, not letting on to anyone about what I was doing. An incident in October of that year changed all that.
I dont know if anyone has told you of the problems we had with trolls in the old room, people who would just randomly come in and say the most horrible things. This was when just anyone could get in, before the good Tzar Myriads gave us our wonderful secure room.
To make a long story short, in October 2002, I was talking to this girl in the chat one day, and although I usually asked age to new girls, forgot to on that occasion. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a screen name of "Attention" came on and told me I was in trouble with the NJ state police for talking to an underage girl about tickling. Needless to say, I freaked out, and told my mom about both the incident and the TMF. This was before I had a chance to speak to Myriads, and he informed me about the trolls. My mom, while being upset and worried about the police thing until we found out it wasnt real, was very calm when she found out I like tickling, and that I come here. She told me I was 32 at the time, and had a right to make my own decisions. Now, its easy. I just merely say Iam going into the "Chatroom" and she knows. She also knows about all the great friends I have here, and how much I enjoy being a member. Maybe the incident was a blessing in disguise, because it enabled me to "come out of the closet," so to say, and I dont have to hide it anymore.
As for your situation. I'm not sure what to say. I dont know the relationship with your parents that well to really advise. All I can really say is that you are an adult, and if you like tickling, you have a right to do so with your boyfriend, and come to TMF if you please. Maybe in time, you can smooth it over, but, in the meantime, your family needs to accept you for who you are, and deal with it. I feel families need to be supportive, even if they dont agree with a certain alternative lifestyle. I hope this helped you, I dont know if it did, but I wanted to relay my experience, to give you a little insight.

Take care Clair,
Mitch

 

[the_Baron]

well, well, well.

i have generally come to believe that coincidence is a very rarely accomplished feat.

consequently, your mother's raising of the computer issue now, and the previous discussion about fetishes, appear to me to be related to her knowledge about the sites you've visited.


having said that, i then also say....WHAT THE FUCK !!!

yes, i know, not typical Baron language.

but really, our interest should not cause us to become uptight. now you can live in relative freedom, and stop the paranoia. remember: paranoia may destroy ya.

and take a vengance to the grave for their invasion of your privacy.

😉

 

[steph]

Hi Little Clair...

I'm with Sir Baron on this one. I wasn't on the computer when I was your age but most of my teen life, my folks "snooped" (through my belongings, my mail, my drawers, pcokets, yearbooks, etc., trying to "get something on me.") While they claimed it was for my own good--I responded with my standard "bullshit." I was an honor student, award winning gymnast and runner, had a million friends. Didn't touch a drink, drugs or even have sex until I was in COLLEGE. That massive betrayal is part of the reason to this day, we barely speak.

It is none of their business honey. You are a beautiful, intelligent, responsible young lady who isn't out whoring around, you have a real relationship and you are an ADULT. She's going to have to deal. (You don't question their sex lives, what right to they have to question yours?) Hang in there and don't feel the least bit guilty...

XOXO

 

[the_Baron]

steph -

you and i should co-author a daily column of advice to the perverted.

🙄

 

[steph]

 

[BBWticklee1973]

Re: Hi Little Clair...

It is none of their business honey. You are a beautiful, intelligent, responsible young lady who isn't out whoring around, you have a real relationship and you are an ADULT. She's going to have to deal. (You don't question their sex lives, what right to they have to question yours?) Hang in there and don't feel the least bit guilty...

XOXO

You go girl!!! Tell it like it is, 100%, couldn't have said it any better 😀

 

[steph]

Re: Re: Hi Little Clair...


I thank you for that my dear! (Even though it was almost 20 years ago, I still VIVIDLY remember that pit in your stomach and the accompanying rage that went with knowing in your heart you'd done NOTHING wrong...) Clair is a darling girl and although I never had kids, I'd feel blessed to have a daughter who turned out as well as she had.

If you're still spying on her Mom, I hope you read this--shame, shame on you...

XOXO

You go girl!!! Tell it like it is, 100%, couldn't have said it any better 😀

 

[tklgal226]

i love you guys 😉 thank you all!!!

it's a tricky thing...im the same way you are steph, i was an honor student, on the varsity softball team, never did any of drinking or had sex till college, so i really dont know why they felt the need to do that. But what's done is done, right? And like you guys said, if she says anything, i'll just be like "so?" (lol, or like my boyfriend told me to say if she asks if im into tickling, "Yup, that's me!" lol...) It's true, Im an adult and stuff, but you know that weird power parents always hold over you....there's just things that need to be secrets from them, and these secrets surfacing is kinda tromatizing. But I am very, VERY close with my mom, and this means she's know about this since i was 16...so nothing should REALLY change in our relationship, right?

Well, thanks again you guy for all of your advice- you all have ways of making me smile...esp Baron and Steph, who I think need an award for the 'class clowns' of the forum, even when you guys are serious u make me smile! so anyways, everyone, thanks, and i'll keep ya posted if anything happens 😉

like ive said before, i absolutely love you guys and can honestly say i don't know where i'd be in life without this site...

~clair 😀 😀 😀

 

[the_Baron]

so if understand this correctly .......

...clair is NOT a virgin!!!!!



😉

 

[leafstk]

Hey Clair darlin, I wouldn't worry too much about it 🙂 I know its an uncomfortable thing for you, knowing that your parents know and how they're old fashioned and all that stuff. I went through the same thing believe it or not when I used to live at home. I didn't realize at the time that it was possible to have a history of your online activities recorded on explorer. My dad happened to browse through the history and was like, wtf?? Needless to say, it was most uncomfortable and embarrassing for me at the time and we never really talked about it. But like Steph and Baron and the others said, we're well adjusted adults and are entitled to our own, well, special interests 😀 My parents and I are still like best friends, I'm sure this won't be a problem between you and your mom either Clair. Besides, some things are better left unsaid, lol. The fact you have a boyfriend to share your love of tickling with is awesome, and shows your comfortable with who you are by sharing it with him. I only wish I could say the same!

 

[Limeoutsider]

Re: Hi Little Clair...

I'm with Sir Baron on this one. I wasn't on the computer when I was your age but most of my teen life, my folks "snooped" (through my belongings, my mail, my drawers, pcokets, yearbooks, etc., trying to "get something on me.") While they claimed it was for my own good--I responded with my standard "bullshit." I was an honor student, award winning gymnast and runner, had a million friends. Didn't touch a drink, drugs or even have sex until I was in COLLEGE. That massive betrayal is part of the reason to this day, we barely speak.

Steph-are you sure we dont have the same parents?


tklgal- Id say dont worry about it, your an adult and can make your own decisions

 

[steph]

Re: Re: Hi Little Clair...

LOL--Probably not honey--I'm about a hundred years older than you 😀

BUT...they might have sat next to each other in the same class of lousy parenting (a.k.a. How To Make Sure Your Kid Grows Up With Issues 101) 🙄

And thanx for the compliment Clair (I actually WAS class clown at 3 out of 4 high schools!) 😀 😀 😀
I'm sure unlike mine, your folks are smart enough to figure it out before it's too late honey--I know y'all will work it out. You know where to find me if needed.
XOXO

Steph-are you sure we dont have the same parents?


tklgal- Id say dont worry about it, your an adult and can make your own decisions

 

[tklgal226]

so if understand this correctly .......

...clair is NOT a virgin!!!!!



😉

lol, hey, "lil clair" isn't THAT little 😛

 

[steph]

doesn't matter...

we love you exactly as you are!

XOXO

 

[leafstk]

Re: doesn't matter...

we love you exactly as you are!

XOXO

Absolutely! 😀

 

[tklgal226]

lol, you guys are too much

~clair

 

[steph]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hi Little Clair...

Ya Perry...It was apparently a REALLY BIG class! 🙄

XOXO

Hmmm Steph...I think that course of study was also taught in Georgia, because my dad is an expert 🙁

 

[TicklishSinner]

dont worry bout it, its your mom after all if she does know im sure she just doesnt understand but i doubt anything will change between the two of you, on top of that you are an adult so your adult life is no one elses business besides your own

 

[nobody271]

hey clair

Hey,
I can definitely relate to this! I know I already told you this story but I'll just summarize it for the other people in the forum and to refresh your memory 😀

I have liked tickling for my whole life all 22 years of it and have been really careful about "covering" up my tracks and keeping myself totally in the closet. However last summer I did an internship in Florida and I had new roommates for the first time in my life. I always left my computer on for any of my roommates to use because I just thought I should share since nobody else had one. One day I come back from work like I normally do and all my roommates were sitting in the living room in silence and then they all walked out as soon as I walked in except for my roommate. And then he went ahead and took out a sheet of paper and read off a list of complaints he had about me and then mentioned the tickling stuff on my computer. I was just like holy shit! How could I be so careless! He went through my documents and found stories, videos, and pictures! And then he told me how disturbing it was to him and that he wanted me to have a room changed and he didn't want me as his roommate anymore. He also said he talked to the housing people about his complaint and they said that they will arrange it. I just walked out and let me tell you that was the longest night of my life! I just layed outside and cried and slept outside that night, till finally my roommate called my cell and wanted to talk to me. And then we talked and worked it all out, and after I explained it to him everything was alright we didn't have the room change and it all worked out. The next few weeks which I thought were going to be REALLY akward since he told all my other roommates... But they were great, they were very understanding and they still treated me with complete respect. I mean we joked around about it sometimes after but I stayed and never felt uncomfortable being around them.

The point I'm trying to make is that people outside of the tickle world do not take tickling so seriously! It really isn't that big of a deal, there are so many other worse fetishes people can have. It might feel a little bit akward at first, but your parents will get over it b/c they love you! Your awesome Clair! How can anyone not like you? 🙂

 

[leafstk]

You see Clair? 🙂 Well said nobody, but man, that had to be tough! 😱 I think Clair would throw out the bat-signal if confronted like that, LOL 🙄 😀 Just kiddin darlin! 😉

 

[kingp]

Gymnast???!!!!

WOW!!!! Sorry, but I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Steph was once an award winning gymnast!!! That leads to a whole new roll call of fantasies for her as if I didn't already have enough. Thanks Steph, you're making it real hard on me to think of other things...LOL