Signs That A Video Game Company Is Evil.

[ShiningIce]

1. They think that bonus games where you press buttons as fast as you can don't wreck your controllers enough.

2. Because they think that bonus games where you press buttons as fast as you can don't wreck your controllers enough, they introduce bonus games where you throw your controller at the floor as hard as possible.

3. They make a light-gun peripheral that shoots real bullets at your TV.

4. Their games are arcade-perfect, right down to the coin-slot in the cartridge.

5. They made a 140 hour RPG that doesn't have any way to save your game.

6. They hire people to kill good game designers so they have less competition.

7. The make a game with a 2 hour intro sequence that's just a black screen with a poorly written story and a 10 second song. ...And you have to watch it every time you turn the game on.

8. They make sports games and update the team statistics every year without updating the actual game. They just released a new version of it for Playstation and Nintendo 64 and it's exactly like the NES version from over a decade ago.

9. They made one of those games that let you design your own game. ...And they didn't give you any help, it's just a blank screen for you to start typing code on. ...With a control pad.

10. They made a game with with passwords that are written in digital code, they're 20 lines of 1's and 0's.

11. They made a fortune off of translating arcade games developed by an equally evil company to home systems. ...And their name starts with the letters A...c...c...l...a... --never mind!

12. They're famous makers puzzle games, they've made a total of over 50: each one a slightly different twist on Puyo Puyo.

13. They recieved a $2,000,000 grant from a video game lover and blew it all on making CD-i games.
*Bonus* Sign you shouldn't be at this site: You were the guy that gave them the 2 million dollar grant.

14.
They build arcade cabinets that have robot arms on the back to unplug neighboring machines.

15. They wanted to go down in the record books for making the world's longest controller cord. Their latest console comes with a controller that responds two seconds after you push the button because the cord is so long.

16. They make games that combine the powers of all of the mainstream systems: They're expensive and take too long to come out like the ones on Nintendo 64, they're hard to make like Saturn games, and almost all of them suck like Playstation games.

17. They've found a way to make a fortune off of full-motion-video games and won't tell anybody else. ...Wait, maybe that means they're really good.

 

[Krokus]

Gawd. . .

I can relate to number 1.

 

[BigJim]

18/ They actually make you feel guilty when a heroine dies stabbed in the back by an evil BASTARD OF A VILLAIN!!!! Oh yes Sephiroth, you will pay!!!!..Erm, ahem, excuse me, I think I'll go now.

 

[ShiningIce]

Thats why I wanna play Kingdom Hearts so I can beat his ass all over again for killing poor Aeris.

 

[BigJim]

Thats why I wanna play Kingdom Hearts so I can beat his ass all over again for killing poor Aeris.

Kingdom Hearts has Sephiroth in it? What the hell is Kingdom HEarts anyway?

I did hear that in the Japanese version of FFVII it was part of the plot to resurrect Aeris. It had something to do with the guy who just grunted at you in the pipe in the Sector 5 slums I think. Dunno how it was supposed to have worked though.

When I got to fight him at the end the Bizzaro-Sephiroth was easy to kill, but JAYSUS didn't the Seraph incarnation take some killing? He took two Knights Of The Round and an Omnislash, and the bugger was still alive!!!!! Then he hit me with this SOB of a summon that just about destroyed the whole Solar System and reduced all my members from 9999 to about 10 HP each! I got him in the end though. I hit the bastard with a Destruct spell that nobbled his Wall and then straight after that Tifa hit him with her 7 combo limit break, culminating in the Final Heaven. BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA.............Eat that smeg for brains. Then it was on to the final duel between him and Cloud with just swords. I twatted him with one Omnislash and reduced him to about -50,000 hit points at least! Vengeance is a bitch!

 

[Flatfoot]

19. They tell you midway through the game that the main character is merely a figment of someone's dream, and that he might not exist when all is said and done, and then the main character actually disappears! I don't want to say the game's actual title, since I don't want to ruin the ending for anyone. Some of you should know what I'm talking about, though.

 

[BigJim]

19. They tell you midway through the game that the main character is merely a figment of someone's dream, and that he might not exist when all is said and done, and then the main character actually disappears! I don't want to say the game's actual title, since I don't want to ruin the ending for anyone. Some of you should know what I'm talking about, though.

Sounds a bit like Metal Gear Solid 2. That game had one fucked up plot! Even someone who knows as much about conspiracies as I do was left dangling by that one!

 

[Flatfoot]

Not quite the game I was referring to, but I agree. MGS2's ending was a complete mind-f*ck. I'll give Konami the benefit of a doubt and assume they're leading up to something really big, though. I just hope they don't make us wait for very long, and I also hope they go back to using Salty-Snake instead of that boot-Raiden kid. It's really a shame that the first two games I've owned, played, and beat on the PS2 had endings that made me say WTF. Maybe that's why I haven't been playing video games, lately, and spend most of my free time coming here.

 

[ShiningIce]

Grrrrrrrrr Flatfoot I know the game you're talking about and it was a COMPLETE disappointment. Sure the graphics and sound kicked ass but where was the great music that all FF's are known for?? And dont get me started on the fact that you didnt get to fly around on the world map...

 

[BigJim]

Grrrrrrrrr Flatfoot I know the game you're talking about and it was a COMPLETE disappointment. Sure the graphics and sound kicked ass but where was the great music that all FF's are known for?? And dont get me started on the fact that you didnt get to fly around on the world map...

Would we be talking about FFX by any chance lads? Don't have it yet. After I saw the first 5 minutes of IX I kind of lost the thread of things........

Just bought IV,V and VI the other day. I'm a sucker for retro stuff! Completed VII totally and utterly, but find it hard to sustain interest in VIII. IX was a total blow-out. Just can't treat it seriously with the hero having a bloody tail!

 

[Flatfoot]

I liked IX, but I fell into the laziness trap, once I hit the portion of the game right before the end, where you have to accomplish all the side quests, I stopped playing. Sooner or later I'll get back to it.

VIII might seem a little boring to observers (I couldn't bear watching others play it, with the "elevator music" of boring, commonly visited areas, such as the school. The music from the school invasion was cool, though!), it got addicting once I got into the game and got to see some of the beautiful cinematic sequences.

I've seen the ending to VII, but never beat it myself (I've gotten about halfway through the game twice, and BOTH times my memory card got deleted! It's very frustrating when that happens. It's like getting into a really good, fat book, and someone just steals your bookmark.)

I STILL think VI (or III in America) was the best one. Of course, it was also the first one I played and got me hooked on FF, so I guess I'm biased. To this day, I found Kefka to be the most amusing villain. People could force Sephiroth down my throat all day, but you could actually be amused by Kefka, and he had his trademark evil laugh!

As far as X goes, I don't have too much bad to say about it. The voices needed work (Why is it that a lot of stuff translated from Japanese always has screwed up voice inflection? I know it's impossible to translate things directly, but if you're using an American voice actor, at least the MAIN character should use exclamations the right way!), and even though I spent the same amount of hours in gametime that I spend on most RPGs, this game seemed short for some reason. I liked the "realistic expressions" Square promoted, but even that still needs improvement. Sometimes I couldn't tell if the characters were laughing, grimacing, or crying. As far as the ending, all I have to say is that Square included something important in the Japanese version that the rest of us were deprived of. I won't go into details about it. It was in an Electronic Gaming Monthly magazine from some months ago. I think they did a similar thing in Final Fantasy VII by allowing Aeris to come back to life in the Japanese version. One final note about this game: The Blitzball minigame is a DRASTIC improvement over all the boring, frustrating, time-consuming card games of other Final Fantasies. I could actually play Blitzball for hours, without getting bored.

 

[BigJim]

I liked IX, but I fell into the laziness trap, once I hit the portion of the game right before the end, where you have to accomplish all the side quests, I stopped playing. Sooner or later I'll get back to it.

VIII might seem a little boring to observers (I couldn't bear watching others play it, with the "elevator music" of boring, commonly visited areas, such as the school. The music from the school invasion was cool, though!), it got addicting once I got into the game and got to see some of the beautiful cinematic sequences.

I've seen the ending to VII, but never beat it myself (I've gotten about halfway through the game twice, and BOTH times my memory card got deleted! It's very frustrating when that happens. It's like getting into a really good, fat book, and someone just steals your bookmark.)

I STILL think VI (or III in America) was the best one. Of course, it was also the first one I played and got me hooked on FF, so I guess I'm biased. To this day, I found Kefka to be the most amusing villain. People could force Sephiroth down my throat all day, but you could actually be amused by Kefka, and he had his trademark evil laugh!

As far as X goes, I don't have too much bad to say about it. The voices needed work (Why is it that a lot of stuff translated from Japanese always has screwed up voice inflection? I know it's impossible to translate things directly, but if you're using an American voice actor, at least the MAIN character should use exclamations the right way!), and even though I spent the same amount of hours in gametime that I spend on most RPGs, this game seemed short for some reason. I liked the "realistic expressions" Square promoted, but even that still needs improvement. Sometimes I couldn't tell if the characters were laughing, grimacing, or crying. As far as the ending, all I have to say is that Square included something important in the Japanese version that the rest of us were deprived of. I won't go into details about it. It was in an Electronic Gaming Monthly magazine from some months ago. I think they did a similar thing in Final Fantasy VII by allowing Aeris to come back to life in the Japanese version. One final note about this game: The Blitzball minigame is a DRASTIC improvement over all the boring, frustrating, time-consuming card games of other Final Fantasies. I could actually play Blitzball for hours, without getting bored.

Why do the japs get all the cool stuff? No fair!

 

[Flatfoot]

...And dont get me started on the fact that you didnt get to fly around on the world map...

I'll be honest with you, I actually liked this feature, because it eliminated a lot of the time wasted on flying around looking for stuff. I guess I can see where you're coming from, though, since it also kinda made the setting seem limited, with controlled exploration.

 

[Krokus]

Yea...

I thought the best FF was FF7.....I guess I am the only one who really liked Metal Gear Solid 2....

 

[Flatfoot]

Don't get me wrong, I liked Metal Gear Solid 2, but the story started out like the Rock, and ended like the Matrix/1984. I just hope Konami finishes strong with this one.

 

[ShiningIce]

Did anyone here ever play a game for PSone called Broken Helix? I loved that one

 

[guitman69]

#20

20/ They design a game that requires a 50 page book in order to play it, then they put it on a .pdf file so you either have to read in on the computer screen, or spend an hour printing the damn thing out.

 

[Krokus]

Hmmm

Did anyone here ever play a game for PSone called Broken Helix? I loved that one

I heard good things about it....what was it about?? What type of game??

 

[BigJim]

Re: Yea...

I thought the best FF was FF7.....I guess I am the only one who really liked Metal Gear Solid 2....

Agreed on FFVII Krous. I did enjoy playing MGS 2, but the plot totally left me behind. I just could'nt follow the damn thing. And coming from someone who can follow all sorts of conspiracy twists, that is saying something. Judging from the "Making Of" DVD that came with th game, I gather that this was Hideo Kojima's intent though. Why I could'nt say, but maybe we'll find out one day. I was just pleased when I laid Solidus's kidneys open to the air.

 

[maverick83]

Hmm...well, while we're griping...

Final Fantasy Tactics pisses me off! The golden rule of video game design: There is a fine line between a game that presents a fun challenge, and one that is just plain irritating. In FFT, in battles, if a character has fallen and is not revived within a few turns, that character is permanently removed from the party. It wouldn't be so bad, except that most of the time, the revive spells and abilities miss! I like developing my characters in games like these. Is there really a point in the game if you can't do that? I've lost track of how many times I reset the damn game because one of my characters was removed. I do, however, enjoy the rest of the Final Fantasy series. (Except Final Fantasy 8, which I haven't played yet, because I've heard bad things about it. Like that enemies' levels go up as your characters' levels go up, effectively defeating the purpose of gaining levels. Haven't played it yet, so I don't know. Anyone out there who can verify that?)

 

[BigJim]

Re: Hmm...well, while we're griping...

Like that enemies' levels go up as your characters' levels go up, effectively defeating the purpose of gaining levels. Haven't played it yet, so I don't know. Anyone out there who can verify that?)

In Final Fantasy 8 that does indeed happen. However they don't gain as much as you do from gaining a level. It's still bloody iritating at time though. As far as I know FFVIII is the only game in the series where that happens.

 

[maverick83]

The level-gaining thing also happens in Final Fantasy Tactics with the random battles, which adds to the frustration I mentioned earlier. However, in the unavoidable battles, the enemies LVs are preset.