So what is it about humiliation and trauma associated with tickling that some people are into?

[Doriansenigma]

Believe me, I’m not judging, fantasies are fantasies after all. I’m a ler mostly, and am a fan of taking a lee (only my wife now) to their limits, but within reason and consent. I see a lot of fantasies involving mean spirited lers tickling lees for hours or days, past the point of anything pleasurable. When it gets to that point I don’t find it erotic, I find it terrifying. Again, I’m just trying to understand the mindset and the appeal, I’m honestly not judging. I read certain stories or comics and I feel like my fetish is being turned into an Takahashi Miike film LOL. Even if you’re a lee, is this idea really arousing to you?

 

[Comfort Eagle]

No clue, it's just hot.

 

[2Ticklish!]

Believe me, I’m not judging, fantasies are fantasies after all. I’m a ler mostly, and am a fan of taking a lee (only my wife now) to their limits, but within reason and consent. I see a lot of fantasies involving mean spirited lers tickling lees for hours or days, past the point of anything pleasurable. When it gets to that point I don’t find it erotic, I find it terrifying. Again, I’m just trying to understand the mindset and the appeal, I’m honestly not judging. I read certain stories or comics and I feel like my fetish is being turned into an Takahashi Miike film LOL. Even if you’re a lee, is this idea really arousing to you?

Every time trauma happens it is registered in our brain and builds upon neural pathways. This is how ptsd comes about…the brain gets so used to reacting a certain way that it can go into fight or flight immediately with enough trauma.

When growing up, this alternative building upon one’s neural pathways can be especially devastating. This is especially true because our brains don’t stop developing until the age of 25…Our frontal lobe is the last to develop (impulse control, ability to stop and reason properly, etc). If taboo behaviors are not corrected during development, then the brain becomes wired differently than was is considered “normal”.

There are many ways a fetish can be grown out of trauma. I suspect it would be the same way the brain dissociates with psychopaths and sociopaths.

 

[WickedTouch]

Believe me, I’m not judging, fantasies are fantasies after all. I’m a ler mostly, and am a fan of taking a lee (only my wife now) to their limits, but within reason and consent. I see a lot of fantasies involving mean spirited lers tickling lees for hours or days, past the point of anything pleasurable. When it gets to that point I don’t find it erotic, I find it terrifying. Again, I’m just trying to understand the mindset and the appeal, I’m honestly not judging. I read certain stories or comics and I feel like my fetish is being turned into an Takahashi Miike film LOL. Even if you’re a lee, is this idea really arousing to you?

Why depends on the person of course, but some like it because it’s a deep wiring association from development (often seeming like an illogical manifestation), some like it because they’re extremists of some kind (like how some people like the heightened thrill of roller coasters, haunted houses, or sky diving), and some people like it because they look for edginess or novelty to keep the spark alive for them. Humiliation and traumatic themes are not just an aspect of the tickling kink—they tend to be on their own axis of interest and overlap with a lot of different kinks. In fact, humiliation and degradation by themselves are some of the most popular kinks right now!

I personally like it from both the lee and the ler angle. I’m not really into degradation, but humiliation can appeal to me at some level. It definitely isn’t my thing as much as it is for many people, but there’s something about the risk and the power the potential embarrassment has over me that makes it equally as exciting. Tickling is one of the very few things that has ever been embarrassing to me, so maybe that has created a deeper intrigue over time. Playing with the idea of vulnerability is a big thing for me, and both humiliation and more intense fantasies really just spark that feeling within me.

For the “traumatic” stuff, I get into some of it and some of it I don’t. It can be very case-by-case. A lot of it can absolutely arouse me in fantasy, but the thought of it being in a reality context immediately turns me off. I imagine this is similar to how those with extreme kinks like rape fantasies are, which has always been a little difficult for me to fully grasp, but through awareness of my own separations of fantasy and reality I’ve started to understand it more.

Another thing that might have something to do with it for some of us is that as children (in a reltively healthy upbringing without abuse, etc), one of the worse things we might have imagined is being tickled to an extreme. I think that gets into a lot of our heads and carries forward into adult fantasies that take it even further. I imagine there are as many specific reasons as there are people that are into it. But it’s a very common fantasy element all across the kink world.

 

[piyr]

Another thing that might have something to do with it for some of us is that as children (in a reltively healthy upbringing without abuse, etc),

I was the target of the slighly older neighborood girls when I was a kid. I'm not sure what's healthy and what's abuse but I'm pretty sure that's how I got this way.

The abused becomes the abuser, figuritively speaking.

 

[tixtester]

Personally, the idea of it is extremely fun, but actually experiencing it would be absolutely terrifying and a nightmare and would scar me for life. Lol. I got tortured as a kid, and while that trauma did develop into the interest that I have today, I don’t think that I could tolerate going through something that intense again, even if by choice. Though maybe I’ll try it someday, idk. Just to see. 😅

 

[Lee Lerish]

I've heard something to the effect that tickling, or other fetishes, can be the results of past trauma. I tend to agree because I suffered childhood trauma myself. I'm a switch, but lean very much towards a lee. My guess is, since I didn't have the true nurturing from real parents, but instead dealt with much abuse, this turned into fantasies of being dominated by a woman, and being tickled, which became a sexual turn-on, because being tickled as a child was the only time I was truly happy, or something to that effect.

Whether this is true or not, and I think it might be, I recognize that it's purely a fetish, and I don't let it rule my life as such. If someone wants to dominate me in the bedroom, by restraining and tickling me, that's fine. But I wouldn't let anyone take advantage of me that way in my everyday life.

 

[WickedTouch]

I was the target of the slighly older neighborood girls when I was a kid. I'm not sure what's healthy and what's abuse but I'm pretty sure that's how I got this way.

The abused becomes the abuser, figuritively speaking.

Ha, that will certainly do it! I think what you're describing might fit what I was trying to say. By my comment on abuse, I meant more violent abuse in the context of that statement, which I should have made clearer. So those who faced a lot of greater abuses could obviously imagine much worse than being tickled, and my statement wouldn't apply so much to those situations. But for those who grew up without much violence otherwise, tickling might be the most "violent" thing they encounter for a number of years and it might hold some kind of fear-like or even trauma-like, power over them.

I have a memory burned into my mind of a much older neighbor girl tickling me that was intense, overpowering, and embarrassing. That didn't spark my interest in tickling, but it certainly gave it fuel. Watch out for older neighbor girls, I guess? 😂

 

[Mr. Nimbus]

Some of the tickle torture stuff (like people getting tickled for 6+ hours or stories where people are tickled to death or into madness) is baffling to me, since tickling itself is (or should be) playful.

Humiliation otoh, I get. Partly bc Im into it outside of tickling, partly bc it pairs well with tickling (since in public its definitely attention-getting) and being a big guy I like being a giggly, helpless mess in public bc it seems so incongruous.

 

[scrtq]

As someone who does enjoy “torturous” and darker ticking fantasies (from a ler/omnipresent perspective), I cannot tell exactly why they appeal to me/turn me on. I know that as a ler, I have no desire to actually make someone, and it is playful and consensual. I also only have one lee which is my partner. I do enjoy CNC play, but in those scenarios I have to imagine myself as someone else, a character of sorts. My darker fantasies don’t involve me being a ler, it is usually a villain of some kind. I find “nonconl fantasies very fun and erotic in stories and cnc play, but in reality it would be sickening and horrific. That duality is perplexing, and difficult to explain. I think part of it for me stems from enjoying horror movies and spooky themes. Many people love horror movies, but it doesn’t mean they actually enjoy the idea of people being harmed in real life.

 

[Doriansenigma]

That’s funny I love horror films, I suppose I have a strong compartmentalization when it comes to horror. I didn’t even like that movie “Fetish Dolls Die Laughing” because it put my fetish in such a dark context. My curiosity is to how that translates to a sexual fantasy of some sort. Some people are into vore where they are tormented, eaten and ultimately digested by a giantess. My goal is simply satisfying my curiousity and sparking some discussion.

 

[scrtq]

That’s funny I love horror films, I suppose I have a strong compartmentalization when it comes to horror. I didn’t even like that movie “Fetish Dolls Die Laughing” because it put my fetish in such a dark context. My curiosity is to how that translates to a sexual fantasy of some sort. Some people are into vore where they are tormented, eaten and ultimately digested by a giantess. My goal is simply satisfying my curiousity and sparking some discussion.

I think for me the fetish is nuanced, there are grounded playful aspects I enjoy and then the darker fantastical side. Sort of a damsel in distress type thing. I do prefer when the lee/victim gets away or wins in the end, not a fan of “and she was stuck there to be tickled forever and ever” type stuff. Regarding vore and pain stuff, not my thing in the slightest. I actually do not like gore at all or people being in pain.

 

[GigglyGothGrrl]

For me, my fantasies are a healing mechanism for confronting my past trauma. I grew up in and out of the hospital because of severe asthma, so to confront and process the trauma my brain softens from something that's painful (being held down and stabbed with needles) to something that's pleasurable (being held down and tickled silly). I also grew up being bullied a lot, so my fantasies would take the instance of being chased down and beaten up and change it to being chased down and tickled, or being humiliated to the point of crying hysterically and change it to a humiliation where I just get flustered and embarrassed but I still remain cute.

I also think that when fantasies get too extreme, like rape fantasies, it isn't the mind desiring those scenarios but processing something that would induce a panic response to something that's easier to process. I've had plenty of those fantasies about being kidnapped and tickle tortured for days, only to ask myself why am I dreaming of this? The conclusion I came to is that it's my mind helping me process situations where I have no control and I'm in danger without spiking my adrenaline or putting me into a panic attack. And the more fantasies I have of that, the more resiliency I build up to it, and if I'm ever caught in that situation again, I can maintain a level of calm, rational thinking instead of letting my PTSD trigger me towards a breakdown.

I mean, I still have panic attacks and anxiety, but having my brain put a "tickle fantasy" in place of the worst case scenario helps me ground, then I can process the "reality" of the worst case scenario with a better sense of clarity. I always just think of it as your mind trying to perform therapy on itself

 

[mistee]

I suspect part of my tickling Trish grew as a way to cope with some childhood trauma, and having a very controlling parent. It is a welcome change for me to fantasize that finally I’m the one in control.

 

[Solleticatela]

Why depends on the person of course, but some like it because it’s a deep wiring association from development (often seeming like an illogical manifestation), some like it because they’re extremists of some kind (like how some people like the heightened thrill of roller coasters, haunted houses, or sky diving), and some people like it because they look for edginess or novelty to keep the spark alive for them. Humiliation and traumatic themes are not just an aspect of the tickling kink—they tend to be on their own axis of interest and overlap with a lot of different kinks. In fact, humiliation and degradation by themselves are some of the most popular kinks right now!

I personally like it from both the lee and the ler angle. I’m not really into degradation, but humiliation can appeal to me at some level. It definitely isn’t my thing as much as it is for many people, but there’s something about the risk and the power the potential embarrassment has over me that makes it equally as exciting. Tickling is one of the very few things that has ever been embarrassing to me, so maybe that has created a deeper intrigue over time. Playing with the idea of vulnerability is a big thing for me, and both humiliation and more intense fantasies really just spark that feeling within me.

For the “traumatic” stuff, I get into some of it and some of it I don’t. It can be very case-by-case. A lot of it can absolutely arouse me in fantasy, but the thought of it being in a reality context immediately turns me off. I imagine this is similar to how those with extreme kinks like rape fantasies are, which has always been a little difficult for me to fully grasp, but through awareness of my own separations of fantasy and reality I’ve started to understand it more.

Another thing that might have something to do with it for some of us is that as children (in a reltively healthy upbringing without abuse, etc), one of the worse things we might have imagined is being tickled to an extreme. I think that gets into a lot of our heads and carries forward into adult fantasies that take it even further. I imagine there are as many specific reasons as there are people that are into it. But it’s a very common fantasy element all across the kink world.

Brilliant : relevant, nuanced, developed, convincing. I do agree with everything you wrote.

To me, humiliation is never far from tickling and can easily be combined with it, maybe because tickling, so frequently regarded as a childish game, unveals a sadism and a vulnerability one could consider definitively repressed and controlled when getting adult. The perspective of somewhat transgressing adult life social rules by tickling and/or getting tickled can easily become a turn-on. To me, it is, and it's always been. Especially as a Lee : I feel as humiliating as charming to have my hidden vulnerability unmasked. And humiliation is not necessarily a matter of session length : the tickle situation itself can provide a more or less arousing / uncomfortable humiliation feeling.

Speaking more generally, as soon as things come to loss of control, power exchange and, eventually, letting go (which occurs with most of SM practices, not only with tickle torture), I think both Dom and Sub are driven by a more or less pronounced spicy need for humiliation.

Then, there's a gap between fantasizing and practising : that's particularly true when it comes, not only to humiliation, but to trauma. Here, things seem less obvious to me.