Carsomyr
Level of Ruby Feather
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2007
- Messages
- 23,971
- Points
- 0
This is not a birthday or feather advancement thread, but this is a very special day for me and I feel like I need to commemorate it somehow.
Today it has been exactly one year since I broke free from a life of lies and set out on the path to find myself. The ensuing months were extremely hard on me, but things have gotten increasingly better with time. I can still feel like shit sometimes because of everything that has happened, but overall I am glad things turned out the way they did.
This is the day that me and my best friend, a person I had dedicated 10 years of my life to, went separate ways. Believe me, it sucks when you find out that your best friend since childhood has just exploited your feelings and desire to help, but the knowledge of having been used was something I shrugged off rather quickly; it was the emptiness that came afterwards that was - and still is - difficult to deal with. I miss having someone to keep as the center of my attention, and I miss the feeling of unconditional love. It's difficult to explain but it feels like I am incomplete.
However, if 2008 goes down in the history books as by far being the worst year of my life, 2009 is so far turning out to be the best. I now know who I can truly count on, and gathering the courage to delurk on the TMF has introduced me to a lot of great friends - many of which I hope I will get to know for the rest of my life. There is one friend in particular who has really helped me feel a lot better both about myself and about life in general - simply by being there and helping me regain my trust in people. You are out there, and you know who you are. Thank you. 🙂
Here's to a whole year without false friends, and knowing that the future is bright indeed!
Today it has been exactly one year since I broke free from a life of lies and set out on the path to find myself. The ensuing months were extremely hard on me, but things have gotten increasingly better with time. I can still feel like shit sometimes because of everything that has happened, but overall I am glad things turned out the way they did.
This is the day that me and my best friend, a person I had dedicated 10 years of my life to, went separate ways. Believe me, it sucks when you find out that your best friend since childhood has just exploited your feelings and desire to help, but the knowledge of having been used was something I shrugged off rather quickly; it was the emptiness that came afterwards that was - and still is - difficult to deal with. I miss having someone to keep as the center of my attention, and I miss the feeling of unconditional love. It's difficult to explain but it feels like I am incomplete.
However, if 2008 goes down in the history books as by far being the worst year of my life, 2009 is so far turning out to be the best. I now know who I can truly count on, and gathering the courage to delurk on the TMF has introduced me to a lot of great friends - many of which I hope I will get to know for the rest of my life. There is one friend in particular who has really helped me feel a lot better both about myself and about life in general - simply by being there and helping me regain my trust in people. You are out there, and you know who you are. Thank you. 🙂
Here's to a whole year without false friends, and knowing that the future is bright indeed!
