• If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread
  • The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

Telling your significant other about your fetish

C

carwash666

TMF Regular
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
170
Points
0
How long should you wait to tell them about your fetish? How do you go about telling them? What do you do if they dont accept it?
 
One you start to get to the sexual state, you should be able to tell them. It's easy to bring up a conversation about what turns them on.

If they don't accept it....well, someone who cares for you will accept you how you are (unless you tell them something really bad...). They might not want to partake in it, but if they don't accept it or laugh at you for it, they are definitely not the right significant other.
 
I would do it before stuff happends between you. Imagen if she takes it really bad. Then what?? For me the fetishes I have is a BIG part of my life. To not be able to live em out would be enough to end a relationship.

but thats me... 😉
 
Maybe I'm lucky. I've never had a single girl I've dated take the tickling fetish badly.

I mean, it's not like we have a shit fetish here.

If he or she doesn't accept your tickling fetish, then the person probably isn't worth your time anyway.

I'd rather be honest and rejected than have to be secretive and possibly shunned later.

That's just how I look at it anyway.

Timing is really the only catch. When you start getting sexually active with whoever, discussions about fetishes naturally arise. That's when I mention my interests, usually when the girl actually asks if I'm into something in particular.
 
It's all in the delivery... avoid the word "fetish" (weirdo connotations) and try to gradually ease into it. Instead of you "revealing" to them your ticklephilia, try to have them remark to you, "Boy you like tickling, huh?", and then proceed from there.
 
Since tickling is a way of flirting anyways, I would think that you realize early on anyways if someone absolutely hates it or not.
 
rhiannon said:
I guess it depends on the people surrounding you, Cavum. 😉
Click to expand...

I don't know how it's over there, but here in Norway it's a accepted word. And to be honest...people getting freaked out by it ain't worth spending time with.
People shouldn't be so afraid of being different. And having a fetish is a VERY normal thing.
 
Fetish still does have a weirdo-connotation - and the media is part of the reason for that. When people hear fetish, most think of bondage, whips and black leather - and there are only a select few who don't shy away from that.
 
rhiannon said:
One you start to get to the sexual state, you should be able to tell them. It's easy to bring up a conversation about what turns them on.

If they don't accept it....well, someone who cares for you will accept you how you are (unless you tell them something really bad...). They might not want to partake in it, but if they don't accept it or laugh at you for it, they are definitely not the right significant other.
Click to expand...

:iagree:
 
Unfortunately Cavum, I'm afraid it's the truth. While I'm all for celebrating our differences and expanding my own horizons, most "vanilla" people aren't.

When it comes to friendships and the like I have no problem using the word "fetish" and discussing certain kinkier aspects of my life parsing no words... but progressing with a significant other is a different story. It may seem like you're dancing around the subject, but approaching someone tentatively, gauging their reactions and adjusting your methods accordingly usually yields greater results than just telling someone "I have a tickling fetish and it sexually arouses me to tickle and be tickled".... a little sugar with the medicine helps.

I should plan a trip to Norway.
 
Rusty Shackleford said:
Unfortunately Cavum, I'm afraid it's the truth. While I'm all for celebrating our differences and expanding my own horizons, most "vanilla" people aren't.

When it comes to friendships and the like I have no problem using the word "fetish" and discussing certain kinkier aspects of my life parsing no words... but progressing with a significant other is a different story. It may seem like you're dancing around the subject, but approaching someone tentatively, gauging their reactions and adjusting your methods accordingly usually yields greater results than just telling someone "I have a tickling fetish and it sexually arouses me to tickle and be tickled".... a little sugar with the medicine helps.

I should plan a trip to Norway.
Click to expand...

I think what I don't understand with alot of people in here is the fact that they go for vanilla girls and hope for the best. I have friends in the BDSM/fetish community here in Norway who have fallen into the same trap. Even that the girlfriend they ended up with accept it doesn't mean they are able to be a part of the play. So when you have a fetish, why the f*** not look for people who accept it and wants to join the play? I can almost guarantee that after the "new love" feelings go away where everything is super, the same persons will start a thread in here with "I can't experience my fantasies! What shall I do!??" or something.

When I was at NEST I didn't get the feeling that other vanilla people think the word fetish is bad. At the hotel bar I talked with alot of other guests there who was curious on why I was there. I have never been a "sugar coat" kind of guy, so I told em why I was there. And guess what? People found it interesting. This was all kinds of people. Everything from buisness people to students. I even got to try to tickle the feet of a cute vanilla girl there. But I agree on what you say Rusty Shackleford. "It's all in the delivery". Don't think of it as such a big deal! It's just a fetish. If people find it funny, then laught with em. Have some self-irony about what you like and I can promis you, your life will be so much easier when it comes to what you like. 🙂
 
If your an honest individual, it should be part of your flirt package. By that, I mean not being over bearing(creepy), but being yourself... By yourself, I mean sociable about who you are. Sure, you want to leave some room for mystery... But, don't take that aspect too seriously.
 
I agree witcha, Cav; straightforward, honest delivery should be the way of the world... we'd all be much happier, that's for sure.

I guess it's a matter of compromise... if I meet a chick and we really hit it off, compatible in every way, and then I find out she's not down with tickling, am I going to call the whole thing off? Probably not. In the long run, a revelation like that cuts the potential longevity of the relationship in half, but I'll still see where it goes.

Not everyone is perfect, and not everyone is as accepting as they should be. I hang out with all sorts of people from all walks of life, and I've found that a little discretion makes things much easier sometimes... so I guess it's more about perspective than compromise.
 
To the OP, turn your girl on to "Savage Love" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savage_Love) and in particular explain to her the sage concept of "GGG":

" Dan Savage and his readers often use the abbreviation GGG. In his March 1, 2007 column Savage summarized: "GGG stands for 'good, giving, and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'" "

If she's really into you, she should at least be willing to give it a shot and see what develops... it's a two way street after all. Good luck!
 
I very, very gradually revealed the extent of my passion for tickling to my significant other over a period of many weeks so as to avoid a shock revelation. She later married me, so I guess that I managed not to scare her off 🙂
 
I agree with rhiannon on this one. Once things get to a sexual level between you two, it's appropriate to bring it up then. I wouldn't do so before that. If she can't or won't accept you for you, then she probably isn't the right one for you. Someone who really loves you will want to make you happy, within reason, and want to hear about it.
 
I think what I don't understand with alot of people in here is the fact that they go for vanilla girls and hope for the best. I have friends in the BDSM/fetish community here in Norway who have fallen into the same trap. Even that the girlfriend they ended up with accept it doesn't mean they are able to be a part of the play. So when you have a fetish, why the f*** not look for people who accept it and wants to join the play?
Click to expand...

Because tickling is, even among people who are part of the BDSM community, not very widely spread.

I am personally into tickling ONLY. So if I go ahead and look for someone from the BDSM community, I will more than likely get more than I wanted!
 
I agree with Rhiannon and others who are on a similar track.

It's all about framing something properly. I didn't just tell my girlfriend I had a tickling "fetish". I told her I loved touching her skin and making her laugh and the way she laughed and moved when I tickled her really turned me on and made me want her in the worst way and I couldn't keep my hands off her.

Telling it like that definitely opened the door for the two of us to explore this krazy kink together.
 
rhiannon said:
Because tickling is, even among people who are part of the BDSM community, not very widely spread.

I am personally into tickling ONLY. So if I go ahead and look for someone from the BDSM community, I will more than likely get more than I wanted!
Click to expand...

When I started looking in the BDSM community here in Norway I was also JUST into tickling. Nothing else. People can evolve without thinking about it or wanting it. It just happends. Not saying it happends with everyone, but remeber that not all BDSMers are into alot of stuff themselfs.
 
When I first "discovered" tickling years ago, I too was also just into tickling. Through my subsequent exploration I discovered I also have a foot fetish and I love BDSM, role playing, etc.

It's really liberating exploring different aspects of sexuality and kink, and alotta fun, too... more people should do it.
 
Been there before and did the whole tell the other about my fetish thing...and the ones in the past didn't seem to grasp it. Luckily that's all behind me now lol
 
I told my boyfriend a few months to a year I think. lol I don't remember. But I told him that I just like tickling "..a lot." and he was fine with it.

I normally hate using the word "fetish" as well. One of my friends used to use it a lot and it always had that sexual inference. But when I told my best friend the same thing, I said the same thing and she said "haha, don't worry about it, it's just a fetish. It's normal." I guess some people have different interpretations of the word.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
What's New
11/25/25
Check out the TMF Welcome Forum and take a moment to say hello!

Door 44
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
streaming tickling videos on demand at the TMF!
Tickling videos on demand!
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** brad1701 ***
 The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Back
Top