I write this at my mother’s bedside now as she naps. I will post it shortly.
I have been given some very bad news recently. Among assorted cancer-related troubles, my mother had developed a brain lesion some time ago that was treated with radiation. Unfortunately, treatment has failed and the lesion has ballooned into a rapidly growing tumor that will end her life in less than a month -- “perhaps much less”, according to the doctor.
I’ve had my experiences with death before. A wonderful girl I knew -- the stepsister of my closest living male friend -- died in a car accident earlier this year. My once best and most admired friend committed suicide eight years ago. It’s a loss that still haunts me and I think about regularly. He was the most thoughtful, intelligent and honorable man I have known. And I once had a moment myself in 2003 when I could have been killed by a man with a gun who asked me if I wanted to die. The loss of my mother, however, will be the loss that hits closest to home, of those I’ve experienced.
My experiences have led me to give great thought to mortality, and have taught me an unusually wide-ranging appreciation for most things in life, good or ill, as everything has a place and an importance in our experience, and so, I’d like to take this moment to express my gratitude for absolutely everyone here.
First and foremost, I would like to thank those who have offered me their support and counsel through these difficult last few months. In matters relating to the return of my mother’s cancer and otherwise, you have been enormously patient, understanding, and considerate, and I appreciate every effort you have made to aid, guide and comfort. You are truly great human beings of immense importance, rare for your depth of compassion and willingness to listen, and I thank you. May you continue to be role models for every caring person.
Secondly, while it may be surprising, I would like to sincerely thank the few people I have met here who act duplicitously. It seems to me they are seldom recognized for their aptitude in distortion, obfuscating truths and other skills in the politics of personal destruction, and I believe they are deserving. We can learn a great deal from them. They teach the astute and compassionate how not to live our lives, and their behavior provides us a landmark from which to run away in the pursuit of honor. They are thus, of greatly underestimated value. Thank you for being. May you continue as you are or work to become better. Which you choose matters not to the mindful.
Last, but far from least, I thank you, the unmet, the unknown. Somewhere, there is a community burgeoning with potential, and I hope to someday meet more of it.
I will be taking a brief respite from “The Forum” while I restructure my life to better fit current and anticipated circumstances.
Thank you, all.
I have been given some very bad news recently. Among assorted cancer-related troubles, my mother had developed a brain lesion some time ago that was treated with radiation. Unfortunately, treatment has failed and the lesion has ballooned into a rapidly growing tumor that will end her life in less than a month -- “perhaps much less”, according to the doctor.
I’ve had my experiences with death before. A wonderful girl I knew -- the stepsister of my closest living male friend -- died in a car accident earlier this year. My once best and most admired friend committed suicide eight years ago. It’s a loss that still haunts me and I think about regularly. He was the most thoughtful, intelligent and honorable man I have known. And I once had a moment myself in 2003 when I could have been killed by a man with a gun who asked me if I wanted to die. The loss of my mother, however, will be the loss that hits closest to home, of those I’ve experienced.
My experiences have led me to give great thought to mortality, and have taught me an unusually wide-ranging appreciation for most things in life, good or ill, as everything has a place and an importance in our experience, and so, I’d like to take this moment to express my gratitude for absolutely everyone here.
First and foremost, I would like to thank those who have offered me their support and counsel through these difficult last few months. In matters relating to the return of my mother’s cancer and otherwise, you have been enormously patient, understanding, and considerate, and I appreciate every effort you have made to aid, guide and comfort. You are truly great human beings of immense importance, rare for your depth of compassion and willingness to listen, and I thank you. May you continue to be role models for every caring person.
Secondly, while it may be surprising, I would like to sincerely thank the few people I have met here who act duplicitously. It seems to me they are seldom recognized for their aptitude in distortion, obfuscating truths and other skills in the politics of personal destruction, and I believe they are deserving. We can learn a great deal from them. They teach the astute and compassionate how not to live our lives, and their behavior provides us a landmark from which to run away in the pursuit of honor. They are thus, of greatly underestimated value. Thank you for being. May you continue as you are or work to become better. Which you choose matters not to the mindful.
Last, but far from least, I thank you, the unmet, the unknown. Somewhere, there is a community burgeoning with potential, and I hope to someday meet more of it.
I will be taking a brief respite from “The Forum” while I restructure my life to better fit current and anticipated circumstances.
Thank you, all.
