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The Canadian plot to Invade the US...

C

Cosmo_ac

4th Level Blue Feather
Joined
May 4, 2001
Messages
5,970
Points
48
Yes, it's true. For many years now, Canada has been working in secret to invade the US. Here, for the first time, you will see the details of our insidious plans.

Whistler Blower: Canada’s Secret Mission to Take Over the US

While you Americans are distracting yourselves overseas, Canada has been secretly preparing for final battle plans to take over the US.

Don’t believe me? I’ll outline some scary facts that have been eroding the security of the US until at long last Canada will be victorious! The movie Canadian Bacon once said, “Like Maple Syrup, Canada’s evil oozes over the United States” – how absolutely true!

Why does Canada need to take over the US? Because Canada is bloody cold up here in the winter! Our seniors have long been invading Florida as snow covers our entire landscape in winter. While Canadian territory is already enormous in size, imperialist Canada has been eyeing American territory with great envy for generations and has been coldly plotting its evil plans.


Facts about Canada Americans should know:

1. Canada still has allegiance to the Queen of England, and is not a true democracy. Like an ant colony, all Canadian officials are sworn to protect the Queen including all Canadian military personnel.

2. Canada has long been playing war games with American troops to probe their weaknesses. We have found it: Canadian beer. Ever wonder why Canadian beer is stronger than American beer? One beer and the average American is completely immobilised. So much for the American high tech warfare advantage! A secret army of Molson trucks sits in top secret warehouses lined along the border awaiting deployment. The trucks can be mobilized with a mere five minute notice!

3. Canada powers huge areas of the US via hydroelectric power. Once flick of the switch and America is back living in the dark ages again.

4. Maple syrup is not just a sugary treat; it’s also a weapon. In fact, it’s standard issue for Canadian soldiers! The maple syrup has a dual purpose: for energy in times of low food supply and it can render the most resilient military hardware completely ineffective by permanently gumming up any operating mechanical mechanisms.

5. Canada has a secret army of mosquitoes and deer flies feeding and breeding in northern parts of the country. Canadians have long built up immunity to this common Canadian pest, but when they are unleashed on an unsuspecting American population the damage will be unimaginable!

6. Many famous Canadian actors are really double agents, spies, and stooges designed to distract, spread chaos, and fear. Who are these agents of Canada? The likes of Pamela Anderson, Keanu Reeves, Celine Dion, Jim Carrey, Dan Aykroyd, Neve Campbell, Tommy Chong, James Cameron and even Brendan Fraser are all Canadians! Hollywood is seen by Canada as the other little known arm of the US government and has been long infiltrated by Canadians.

7. Canada shares the largest continuous unprotected border with the United States. Accidental? I think not!

8. Over two thirds of Canada’s population lives primarily along this unprotected border.

9. Canada has been funding anti-gun movements in the US to disarm its citizens for decades.

10. Hillary Clinton is actually a US defector to Canada and has been trying to push Canadian-style health care to prepare for the eventual arrival and welcoming of Canadian conquerors.

11. Michael Moore has been Canada’s best propaganda machine. He prepares Americans to accept their Canadian overlords by teaching Americans the superiority of the Canadian way of life.

12. South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been sending covert warning messages to Americans for years with Terrance and Philip and their forecasting of the bombing of the Baldwins.
Click to expand...

As you can see, it's only a matter of time...
 
Cosmo_ac said:
1.Canada still has allegiance to the Queen of England, and is not a true democracy. Like an ant colony, all Canadian officials are sworn to protect the Queen including all Canadian military personnel.
Click to expand...

And Jimmy Car let slip the British Plan for the invasion of Canada when presenting Distraction last year: :wowzer:

Jimmy Car (to Canadian contestant on distraction): “We used to own you, did you know that. I’m not saying I’ve got contempt for your people or anything, but if we wanted to we could take you back (click’s his fingers) just like that”

Ok it not as intricate as the Canadian plan but where confident it will work with all the Canadian troops on our side! 😀

Don’t take my Jimmy Car quote the wrong way I’m only joking :jester: , I quite like Canadians really, but any chance to talk about distraction (great game show, very funny) :blaugh:
 
mark 19 said:
And Jimmy Car let slip the British Plan for the invasion of Canada when presenting Distraction last year: :wowzer:

Jimmy Car (to Canadian contestant on distraction): “We used to own you, did you know that. I’m not saying I’ve got contempt for your people or anything, but if we wanted to we could take you back (click’s his fingers) just like that”

Ok it not as intricate as the Canadian plan but where confident it will work with all the Canadian troops on our side! 😀

Don’t take my Jimmy Car quote the wrong way I’m only joking :jester: , I quite like Canadians really, but any chance to talk about distraction (great game show, very funny) :blaugh:
Click to expand...

Hes a funny guy that Jimmy Carr!! :jester:


I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..........
 
Look at Cosmos location.

Group hug everyone. The first step on the way to recovery is admitting that you have a problem!


You know i'm only joshing with ya. But canadians have a good sense of humour and can take a joke.
 
Cosmo_ac said:
Yes, it's true. For many years now, Canada has been working in secret to invade the US. Here, for the first time, you will see the details of our insidious plans..
Click to expand...

LMAO 😛
Somehow I always knew that Canadians couldn't be trusted. (j/k) 😀
 
...

I've never trusted them either. They've always had a threatining lead in Zamboni technology.
 
Damn Canadians..I knew there would be a HUGE fallout from cancelling the 2004-2005 NHL Season.
DAMN YOU PLAYERS UNION!!
DAMN YOU OWNERS!!
DAMN YOU NHL COMMISHIONER!!
AND DAMN STEVE ALLEN!!
(I dont know why I just hate him)
I for one will welcome my candaian overlords, as long as we dont have to watch the CFL and keep the NFL as it is. But take away my NFL then I will have to be forced to uncover operation "Mexican Overload"..which I cannot be anymore specific about it at this time.
:wavingguy
btw again Im still in Mississippi, Im done for now and finally using my laptop again...Ill post my account later..but Ive got something else to post first.
Comso and you guys overseas watch for it in the Politics forum, I think you all will find it most interesting.
 
Dammit cosmo_ac!!!!

You just screwed everything we've worked for since 1812, royally up!!!!!

I'm sorry, but this little slip up will not go unpunished!

I'd say I'm coming to kill you, but unfortunately, I'm Canadian, so I'm going to have to destroy you within the best of my abilities....

YOU ARE SO OFF MY CHRISTMAS CARD LIST, YOU BLOODY TURNCOAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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Newcastle Uni said:
Look at Cosmos location.

Group hug everyone. The first step on the way to recovery is admitting that you have a problem!


You know i'm only joshing with ya. But canadians have a good sense of humour and can take a joke.
Click to expand...




I'm sure that it's more than you're capable of you friendless, useless, twat. 🙂 🙂 🙂
 
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