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the chamber of laughter.

wishfoot88

4th Level Red Feather
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
1,992
Points
36
hi
tried a new story concept with this idea.
hope you like it😀
 
Heh, Tis a mini story, It adds to the feel of the whole thing man, Keep up the good work man, 🙂


Hari
 
A computerized warden barely seems necessary when the unfortunate sufferer is so thoroughly encased! It must be something of a comfort, though, to know that someone (however cold-bloodedly merciless) is ceaselessly seeing to your needs! Story structure (with a certain Dante-ish "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here " inevitability) is strong, feeding anticipation as the reader progresses from page to page! An intriguing new direction to your art offerings, Wishfoot! Whether you continue this particular scenario (which I encourage... individual back-stories [how each prisoner or volunteer came to be so victimized] would serve as fertile plot material) or switch to another, I eagerly look forward to the next installment!
 
A computerized warden barely seems necessary when the unfortunate sufferer is so thoroughly encased! It must be something of a comfort, though, to know that someone (however cold-bloodedly merciless) is ceaselessly seeing to your needs! Story structure (with a certain Dante-ish "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here " inevitability) is strong, feeding anticipation as the reader progresses from page to page! An intriguing new direction to your art offerings, Wishfoot! Whether you continue this particular scenario (which I encourage... individual back-stories [how each prisoner or volunteer came to be so victimized] would serve as fertile plot material) or switch to another, I eagerly look forward to the next installment!

thank you so very much for the kind words.
hmmm perhaps i will continue this....
 
Yes I really liked it - especially as a mini story thing. I'd have liked to have seen the arrival date on each victim, showing how long they'd been there. Maybe 1 and 2 could have been there for years (indicated by the difference between their arrival date and no. 3's). And number 3 might have more shocked and worried expression knowing that there's no hope of escape.

he he he Just my thoughts.

R
 
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