cellardweller said:
Ummmmmm ahhhh ohhhhh ummm ahemm.....uhhhh.......
*how to get out of this???*
I don't attend church....it must've been someone else....... :wooha: :wooha: :wooha:
Well, well... let me see... as there doesn't seem to be any witness for the prosecution to claim that you were indeed the person laughing in church, I suppose even a Colonial judge has no other choice than to pronounce you... Not Guilty.
*sighs, then looks at etiquette book more closely*
Gracious, I must admit that I was in error. The offence of Laughing in Church is on page 291 of this book, and the punishment I was going to assign to it is on page 294.
*turns the stuck page*
Here we are, page 292. Ah, it appears that the penalty for Laughing in Church is to be obliged to host the Governor's Birthday Party, but, as you have been acquitted of that charge, that doesn't really concern us. But what was the offence for which you would have been put into the stocks? Let me see what's on the bottom of page 293... *reads*
Well, well, well. It appears that being put into the stocks is actually the punishment for Non-Attendance at Church, because, "He who Absents Himself from Worship on the Sabbath is Laughing at Almighty God, and requires a Chastisement that will Direct his Laughter into Appropriate Channels."
Now normally I would require a prosecutor to declare an indictment and produce evidence against you, but as you have just confessed to the crime with your own mouth, I have no qualms about declaring you Guilty, and we all know what the sentence is. The stocks it is.
*leads CD to the stockade and assists him in entering*
Now, are you quite comfortable? Very good. Perhaps GFTL would care to be the first to minister to you in your new situation?