The ORAL SEX thread that all women will hate me for!

[evilqueen]

You of course had the deluded individual institutionalized for their own good, didn't you?

I did worse than that, Dan. I broke up with him. 😉
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
A man comes home and finds his wife throwing her clothes into a suitcase. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouts.

"I'm leaving you!" she snarls. "I don't need you, I'm sick of you."

"Oh yeah?" he replies. "How are you gonna survive without me?"

"I'm going to Las Vegas. The girls there make fifty bucks for every blowjob they give."

Upon hearing this, the man pulls out another suitcase and starts throwing *his* clothes into it.

"What the hell do you think *you're* doing?" screams the wife.

"I'm going to Vegas with you. I gotta see how you can live on fifty bucks a year!!!"
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

 

[AffectionateDan]

I did worse than that, Dan. I broke up with him.

Poor ba$t@rd! 😛

So, if I understand you correctly Jobelle... your advice to the ladies on this thread is, if they get the chance to perform fellatio, don't blow it?

GROAN! 🙄

 

[sole seeker]

Amnesiac, if you want adults to consider your opinions informed, you have to get some experience. No offense intended, just the way it is.

Damn fine, EQ! Laughed out loud at that one! *shakes head as he enters reply to thread* "... fifty bucks a year."

 

[AffectionateDan]

Interesting, isn't it, how many people are getting into the spirit of this thread...

To address your question, I don't insist my partner swallow, but there are two reasons I prefer it:
1) It's less messy and things don't have to come to a complete halt while we clean up.
2) Ejaculation inside my mate feels much more pleasurable than shooting into the air. It has to do with the physical sensation of being surrounded while having an orgasm.

VERY well put, S S. Not necessary by any means, but certainly preferable. But bottom line is, whatever my partner prefers. Gota be mutual, or it's no good for either.

I have not liked oral sex with every partner I've known. For one thing, this is pretty intimate stuff for me, and to enjoy it I have to be deeply into a relationship with my partner. Also, believe it or not we taste differently from one another.

Also well put! Personal hygiene plays a part obviously, although not as obvious is the effect of one's DIET . Somebody made mention of drinking orange juice, didn't they? My ex-wife and others have confirmed that this has a DEFINITE positive effect on the taste of a man's ummmmm... of a man. 🙄 I'm sure that if that's true, the same must hold true to the rest of one's diet.

Are you ready for it? Can you see it coming?

Because, after all.....








You are what you eat.

 

[ticklishbbw]

I'm waiting for the people from the Smithsonian....

You were looking for a woman to say she liked giving oral sex...welll, here is one. I love it, it's one of my favorite sexual activities (right up there with tickling!). I initiate it on my own, I don't need to be asked. This does usually cause shock and awe when I do it for the first time with someone.

I'm going to pack now, and wait for the guys from the Smithsonian to show up! 😀

Tbbw

 

[JoBelle]

Press-on nails???

PRESS-ON NAILS!???



Well, I nevah! HMPH!


*hehe*
Jo

 

[BigJim]

When I was in highschool my anatomy teacher was talking about the sugars (ie. glucose) in semen, and some girl blurted out, "Then how come it tastes so salty?" *giggle*

And, not every female hates performing oral sex on a guy. When my girlfriends and I have talked about it, I can't recall any of them saying they don't like doing it.

Didn't the teacher reply that it was because the taste-buds for detecting sugar were on the tongue and not in the back of the throat?

 

[BigJim]

Re: Touche

Besides, is it impossible for an inexperienced person to understand and accept certain facts that people WITH experience have compiled?

Not it isn't! 😀 Take it from someone who is living proof of such.


Big Jim (Not quite as inexperienced as Amnesiac, but no Errol flynn either. 😀)

 

[BigJim]

When it comes to receiving oral sex, I think it's true that all men are for it.

Wrong.

Myriads

Right! 😀 (Again, from someone who is living proof of such. 😀)


By the way Myr, nice to see you're building up the length of your replies so much. 😀

 

[BigJim]

I'm one of those few guys that doesn't really care for recieving oral sex. I love giving it to a woman. All my friends think I'm a wierdo for this.

I'm with you KBAA. 🙂 Don't know why it's that way, but it is.

 

[BigJim]

I think you'd find the same can be said for almost any sexual activity but BJ's tend to get more attention. *shrug-go figure*
Joby

That is of course except for those incredibly stylish guys who like the delights of an FJ? 😀

 

[milagros317]

Didn't the teacher reply that it was because the taste-buds for detecting sugar were on the tongue and not in the back of the throat?

This is a very old joke--I first heard it when I was in college (class of 1972). Not that it isn't funny, it is, but very old.

 

[BigJim]

Amnesiac, you clearly are just some youngster who wants to shcok everyone with his extreme opinions. If I am reading the earlier posts correctly, you are a virgin, and not for nothing, but what do you know about sex? Have you ever even received oral sex. You don't what the hell your talking about. Clearly your opinions of women stem from your complete rejection by them. Oh well maybe one day you'll get laid. I mean anything is possible. Whatever.

No matter how inoccuous the thread, some mardy-arse always has to bring the tone down. 🙁


Oh well, maybe I'm just pissed off because tieler beat me to it.

 

[Jason_F/M]

Yep

There is a reason why 69 is my favorite number 🙂

...and a bit of tickling during oral sex can be an insane sensory overload

 

[milagros317]

Ahh, 69.

When I was in high school, I was such a naive nerd that when, in the cafeteria, a friend asked me what was the square root of 69, I answered "About 8 and 5/16," and I didn't know why everybody laughed.

(Answer which would have been given by somebody who knew it was a sexual reference: 8 something [ate something])

 

[MrPartickler]

I much prefer to give than to receive, but I have to say that I'm not a fan of women who only like to receive and not give....even though I never ask to receive.

It's kinda weird, I know. But I'd much rather be with a woman who enjoyed both. They just seem to be generally more adventuruous and less selfish to me. Also, if/when she <i>does</i> give, odds are it'll be much better than with the "gimme chicks." lol

For me, most receiving experiences have been with women who have straight out <i>asked</i> to give. Only one swallowed though. And, of course, she was the most insistant and the best at it. (I'm not certain, but there may be some correlation there. 🙄 )

Basically, I think it's far easier to find a woman out there who likes to give (& perhaps to swallow) than it is to find one into tickling.

 

[Marauder]

Strange. I read parts of this thread as:

 

[lightninbug]

Why do women hate oral sex?????

My personal experience is somewhat echoing Danimal's:"Tis Better to give than to receive."
I personaly feel that it's ,more often than not, what separates the opportunist from the truely commited...wanting to GIVE & then Give some more.
As to ettiquete: the'6 second warning is perfectly apropos (ie:'I'm lettin' loose', Thar she Blows' etc.)as to let your partner know...& decide.
As to the generalization; there's not a bit of truth to it.

 

[milagros317]

Those "flame war" smileys are hilarious, Marauder.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Re: Yep

There is a reason why 69 is my favorite number 🙂

...and a bit of tickling during oral sex can be an insane sensory overload

Yup!

 

[BigJim]

I,m bringing the discussion down? THis whole thread is based on an innaccurate and sexist idea. Amnesiac clearly does not know, due to his inexperience, what he is talking about. I,m not surprised that another inexperienced person like Big Jim (if I am reading his post correctly)would come to his defense. Why don't you guys stop obsessing with tickling and inane conspiracy theories (Big Jim), move out of your parents basement and actually go talk to a woman. You might learn something.

Oddly enough, "getting a life" tends to engender someone with a prolific sense of humour and a desire to be upbeat. Truly if that is anything to go by tieler, neither I nor Amnesiac need your advice. 😀

I'm coming to no-one's defence. Just wishing that a tongue-in-cheek thread, laced with some saucy, Fawlty Towers-style humour could refrain free of the rectal effusions of such cheerful chappies as have no sense of humour. ( Or are very successful at keeping it hidden.🙂 )

And inane? Well when you've got the brains to refute something piece by piece, you've got the right to call it inane. Till then, read up and try to develop your powers of deductive thinking and tone down your tendency of populist pack-following.

Chin-chin old boy! 😀

 

[BigJim]

Re: WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA!

First of all, yes this thread was started in a tongue and cheek fashion. That was mostly because it's virtually impossible for me to say anything serious without a joke...otherwise my complete lack of social skills would make it seem like an insulting thread. After all, if this thread was called "Why Don't Women Like Sucking Dick?" this thread would be on FIRE with all sorts of angry women. I figured being funny and asking the question at the same time would be more accessable.

Last time I looked, this thread had a noticable dearth of angry women, proclaiming it was sexist. I think tieler was more concerned with being self-righteous than actually caring about the ladies feelings here. Any ladies who've read this thread and disagree, feel free to put me right.
I think the humour injection was a pretty clever way of broaching a sensitive subject.

As for tieler, I dunno if he's a flamer or just somebody who doesn't suffer fools easily,

Oh thanks very much! That one will have amused tieler no end! 😡

And his suggestion to go out and talk to women is a bit moot as well. At my age, women don't want inexperienced men, and they sure as hell don't want to experiment anymore; they know what they will and won't damn do, and wasting their time on a man who doesn't know what he's doing is DEFINITELY one of those. And since I don't want to go to prison, I won't start looking at younger, inexperienced women. I just figured that the best I could do is get people to talk openly about it here, so at the very least I could understand WHY.

When you meet a bird who's compatible with you, she won't give a shit how inexperienced or not you are. All she'll care about is how much the two of you enjoy your time together. Most women may not seem that way, but most women can be just as unthinking and uncaring about other's emotions as some men can. To think that it's only men who be so cavalier, is truly sexist!

 

[Raichyll]

Didn't the teacher reply that it was because the taste-buds for detecting sugar were on the tongue and not in the back of the throat?

No, she was too busy laughing hard and walking/stumbling out of the room actually. 😀

 

[BigJim]

Heh. I seem to remember that one being on the "List of 10 most embarassing moments" thread. Up there along with the girl who threatened to tell grandma that she saw mummy kissing daddy's "pee-pee" if she didn't stop being mean to her.............in the middle of a bank. 😱 😱

Makes you shudder, dunnit?

 

[sole seeker]

... I'd much rather be with a woman who enjoyed both. They just seem to be generally more adventuruous and less selfish to me. Also, if/when she does give, odds are it'll be much better than with the "gimme chicks."

Basically, I think it's far easier to find a woman out there who likes to give (& perhaps to swallow) than it is to find one into tickling.

Good points, MrLer! I whole-heartedly agree with both of these statements!