Rib Counting Games
I don't think Mother Nature ever thought of a better way for me to tease my wife than to tickle her. Most of us have two dozen ribs. Than means there are at least 24 ways to mercilessly tease her while I count them.
For sure you can't count a woman's ribs without losing count at least a couple of times and starting over. Let's see, where were we, drat, well, we'll just start at the beginning.
When I'm counting ribs I put her in the most basic position, flat on her back, with her wrists criss-crossed and held over her head. I straddle her just below her hips to hold her in place with my knees. I'm right handed so I hold her wrists with me left hand and tickle mostly with the index or the middle finger of my right hand. When I tell her I'm going to do her a favor and make sure she still has all of her ribs and they are all in good working order she usually tries to bolt. So I have to capture her around the waist and lift her feet a few inches off of the floor so she can't run. I carry her over to the sofa or into the bed room with her begging and struggling all the way.
I don't know how anyone else does it, but I start at the lowest ribs and work up because the closer I get to her underarms the more ticklish she is. I also never just count straight through. I ask her questions about her own body such as, "One....two...three...have you ever noticed that the higher we get on your ribs the longer they get...look at this one...oh, you can't see it...well it starts right her and stretches way back to here...four..."
At least part of the time I talk while I tickle, and I insist she answer while I tickle...."Isn't it fun to try to talk while you are being tickled? Are you going to answer?..."
I like to sort of wriggle my finger down between two ribs which drives her crazy and say, "Have you ever noticed I can't actually get my fingers between any two of your ribs...no, seriously...all along here...," while I work completely along one valley. She's kind of a big girl so I can't see what I'm doing but Great Caesar's Ghost (!) is it fun to explore for a valley!
Have you ever taken a close look at what prolonged rib tickling does to a woman's face? Besides making it so beautiful it lights up the room, she loses all control to the laughing and (at least the woman of this house) opens her eyes wider than saucers. She opens her mouth so wide she can't even smile any more yet her smile overcomes this obstacle and she smiles from ear to ear and her upper teeth gleam like the brightest mother-of-pearl anyone ever saw or hoped to see. When she sounds nearly frantic when I'm tickling a particularly ticklish rib, I lean over a little closer, smile just a little, look her right in the eye and rub and tickle number eighteen with devilishness and enthusiasm from front to back.
Sometimes she starts shaking her head. Then I'll stop long enough for her to beg for mercy and ask her if she doesn't find it funny that these ribs are supposed to protect her lungs? Then I tell her I can see that she thinks it's funny as I get back to tickling.
Since all wifetickling has at least part of the object to tease her, I offer this confession. I've been counting her ribs on a regular basis for over thirty years. To this day I haven't yet made it to 24. Now that I think about it, maybe I'll give it one more try tonight.
Many years ago when I was going to school, I dated a tall girl, nearly as tall as me, probably close to six feet. I did this to her a time or two. I used to think this kind of a game is better played with such a tall lass as you have more rib area to tickle from lower ribs to upper.
This may be presumptuous but I think a woman likes to be teased while she is tickled. I think it adds something to the exchange.
Hiram
Well Sandee, my dear. I for one volunteer to make sure all those sexy ribs of yours are there
