Tickling & BDSM

[JimmyBoy]

My 2 Cents

Being both a member of the BDSM world and being a hardcore tickle fetishist I felt i should give my perspective.

I'm a firm believer in the "to each his own" ways, tickling is part of BDSM play for some while other BDSM'ers do not engage in it. I have met with many Mistress' and subs who have told me how they choose to engage in tickling and what it does for them while other people have it as a limit and they do not do tickle play.

I've noticed that majority of the people on this forum are not part of the BDSM world and choose to engage in rather only tickling, and there's nothing wrong with that. People just need to better educate themselves about BDSM more.

So tickling is one of the many fields of BDSM and it can lead into grade sceneplay.

 

[dvnc]

youre still not getting it are you? by your example, youre telling me that you fantasize tickling rather than doing it in getting some. i do the tickling even SHOWED my mother friends and co-workers while im ACTUALLY doing it. NOT talk about it! no offense sir, but youre telling me that youre incompetent at tickling so you have to fantasize.

Uh, wrong.

Seen him play at a gathering. Know, thusly, that he's done tickling IRL.

It's you who are missing things here. You're still arguing right and wrong in a perspective without understanding.

People who loath tickling think it's wrong, too. That's fine for them, but it's not true for us. Please don't continue to participate in derogating the interest held by a percentage of ticklephiles who AREN'T malicious.

The B is bondage, which is a predominant presence, here. Especially useful when a 'lee thrashes wildly.

The D is domination, and many 'lers will own a 'lee while they play, controlling that 'lee's world while in play.

There's MANY posts here of people who are interested in torture, which is sadistic in nature. There's also many posts of people who dig the torment (which IS masochism). They, too, deserve the right to consentually share without your slams.

It's understood that you and Drew don't dig BDSM, though Drew LOVES bein' tied and tickled. You do your way, and that's fair. The others here will likewise do their way. That's fair. All's cool while it's consensual.

Congrats, too, for making this thread last an inordinantly long time. Nothing like advertising for an interest.

 

[Anna6-9]

Is that you? Because your rump looks a little pale...looks like it could use a little coloring...

Yes that is me. I couldnt agree more it does look a little pale!

 

[Redmage]

i said it is NOT LIMITED to erotica, sexual fetish etc. even if it were primarily used for that. you dont see people posting porn in every thread/post do you? and im not talking about the banner ads or those neither.

And yet this is where you come to discuss tickling. Is there any "general interest" forum where you could find tickling discussions in this sort of depth? Or are all such fora sexual adult venues like this one? What does that tell you?

youre still not getting it are you? by your example, youre telling me that you fantasize tickling rather than doing it in getting some. i do the tickling even SHOWED my mother friends and co-workers while im ACTUALLY doing it. NOT talk about it! no offense sir, but youre telling me that youre incompetent at tickling so you have to fantasize.

You have no idea how amusing that is. But you can ask some of the women here whom I've tickled, if you want to find out. Heck, I can even give you video.

I don't doubt for a moment that your parents and co-workers have seen you tickle someone. Even those of us who are clear that this is a sexual fetish have done non-sexual tickling at some point with friends or family members. That proves exactly nothing. I still see no good reason for you not to discuss your interest with your family and friends, like you would any other purely non-sexual interest - if in fact it is a purely non-sexual interest for you.

As for your notion that that tickling can't be fit into BDSM, so far none of your comments have shown that you have any clue what BDSM is really about. So I can't take that opinion seriously - the more so since I know people who do it, and do it myself.

 

[The Last Laugh]

Oookaaaaay... I hope people won't mind if I don't get mixed up with the whole vsa7a debate. Not that it's not fascinating, mind you. There are some truly excellent posts in this thread. I just prefer not to touch it myself.

Is tickling part of the BDSM culture, or is it a seperate entity?

Here's someone's opinion of how tickling fits in with BDSM, as well as with other fetishes. You'll find tickling at the far right, barely visible at all and paired up with spanking. It's only one of many possible representations of the relationships between fetishes, of course, but it's an interesting chart overall.

 

[Artoo]

Interesting chart, last laugh, do you know where it is from originally?

 

[Strider]

But what about this business of calling you "sir"? What's that all about?

It's certainly an ego-trip for some, but for others, it's just a personal choice(often on the part of the sub). Personally, I'd be somewhat uncomfortable with anyone using titles to refer to me if I hadn't at least played with them multiple times. I do have one play partner who's become more than that, and we've moved into more straight up D/s when we're together, and she sometimes does call me Sir, but I've never required it(though I do sort of dig being called 'Sire' for some reason).

And I still refer to certain individuals who've mentored me by using official titles. Never been asked to, but I want to. I view it as a sign of respect for people who helped me a shitload(and I really do think of at least one person as being something like my Sensei anyway).

 

[ViperGTS]

But what about this business of calling you "sir"? What's that all about?

We dig it.

That's what it's about.

Yes that is me. I couldnt agree more it does look a little pale!

Sure! Come on over, the belt, the rope, the vibrator and the fingertips are waiting. 😛

 

[LindyHopper]

Ugh. If you really feel this is necessary...

The voice of experience, no doubt.

My own? Not particularly - I tend to only speak when I know what I'm talking about and have something substantive to say. But I've seen plenty around here, on this thread and others, that demonstrates exactly that: people who attack a concept without adequate understanding of it tend to just make themselves look foolish.

Lindy, I was hip to kinky sex when you were still teething and soiling your diapers, so save the lecture for your students... < blah blah blah, GR violation, GR violation, yada yada yada... >

I would've assumed that any (elderly 😉 ) man familiar with kinky sex (or any kind of sex, for that matter ) would've recognized the name of the best-selling vibrator of all time, particularly when Viper specifically described his partner cumming all over it. 😛 Regardless, your injunction was the same: "Throw your high-powered sex toy in the trash, because your willingness to use it on a woman, even a woman who explicitly asked for it and enjoys it, makes you immoral." If you feel outnumbered in your viewpoint on this thread, while my viewpoint seems to enjoy widespread support... it might just be because your opinion doesn't make any damn sense.

Also note that I used this post, as well as my last one, to make a constructive contribution to the topic at hand. That's more than you could manage with yours. "Character assassination" my ass. 🙄


Yes, it has been a long time since we've talked, hasn't it? Let's not do it again. 😉 We've managed not to derail the thread so far, and I do want to respect the folks who are here to contribute and learn. I am a teacher, after all, just like you said. 🙂

 

[LindyHopper]

no offense sir, but youre telling me that youre incompetent at tickling so you have to fantasize.

Oh dear God. I said it before, and I'll say it again: "when people attack from a place of ignorance, they only make themselves look ridiculous, and do no credit whatsoever to their cause." And yes, I did just quote myself. 😀

To help alleviate your ignorance, Mr. vsa7a, this story details just one of the wonderful tickling adventures on which Redmage has taken me. Don't feel obligated to read it (I wouldn't want your brain to fall out 😉 ), but it is one hell of a story!*

*And thanks to all the folks who bumped it - I had no idea! I guess I owe vsa one for getting me to check, so... thanks. 🙂

 

[ViperGTS]

Besides, only old people use the word 'hip' these days.

 

[The Last Laugh]

Interesting chart, last laugh, do you know where it is from originally?

I'm sorry, I really don't know. I'm pretty sure I got it right here on the TMF a few years ago. No doubt many other people noticed it before as well. Maybe someone else has an idea.

 

[vsa7a]

ok enough of this horseshit.

BDSM=2 or more people want to get together and maybe do bondage. one becomes the dominant and the other submissive and either way usually the dominant would do sadism and the submissive would be masochistic. in either since they can be both sadomasochists either getting off at being sadistic towards the other or be like apparently acceptant of the blunt end.

an example shown below

(A meets up with B)
A says: Hey B! would you like to be my B(__fill in the blank__)??
B says: hehe! Yes! I'd like to be your B!!!
A takes B to a rack and says: Get your ass on there B!
B: Okay! Yes sir, hee hee
(A grabs whip and starts whipping B)
A: Take that B!
B: Oweee hehehe.

now do i have to explain to the utmost detail on BDSM?? wtf? so dont tell me i dont understand BDSM. in fact lastlaugh said the real point that tickling is little if any in BDSM but BDSM is virtually none at all in tickling. so lets just please keep it that way to that minimum. im definitely sure that general tickling you dont think about BDSM. but when youre tickling in BDSM. you can think about tickling as what youre currently doing, make sense? if you do think about BDSM in tickling. then why the fuck bother have tickling?? what good will it do at that point?? 'oh yes sir keep tickling me.' NO WAY! might as well keep it BDSM no tickling we just dont need BDSM to undermine and totally replace tickling. 'No sir.'

finally redmage. congrats you showed me some cheesy quality tickling vid with some fetish company name on it. good for you. and why did it had to have a fetish company name on it?? oh you paid someone to do it. i see. it figures. tell ya what buddy. i do tickling when the moment is right and i would make a moment right if necessary. i tickled my friend in front of my mother and other friends and strangers and even a couple coworkers. i dont go around and be like 'look ma. im going to tickle some person.' NO. what dumbass would do that?? granted i give you that you may have tickled lindy before and wrote a tale about it. but still. do you also go around and be like 'haha i tickled this person hoho' too?? i hope not. id be just read my tale and thats it. id be to everyone hey check me out. *me tickling someone* NOT hey kids! I going to tickle you this person! *clown laugh*

 

[Redmage]

ok enough of this horseshit.

This gave me some hope. But unfortunately the equine excrement continued almost immediately.

BDSM=2 or more people want to get together and maybe do bondage. one becomes the dominant and the other submissive and either way usually the dominant would do sadism and the submissive would be masochistic. in either since they can be both sadomasochists either getting off at being sadistic towards the other or be like apparently acceptant of the blunt end.

an example shown below

(A meets up with B)
A says: Hey B! would you like to be my B(__fill in the blank__)??
B says: hehe! Yes! I'd like to be your B!!!
A takes B to a rack and says: Get your ass on there B!
B: Okay! Yes sir, hee hee
(A grabs whip and starts whipping B)
A: Take that B!
B: Oweee hehehe.

now do i have to explain to the utmost detail on BDSM?? wtf? so dont tell me i dont understand BDSM.

You tell it to the world every time you write nonsense like this. Every post you've made has demonstrated that you don't have a clue how this stuff works. I'd hope that the fact that people who actually do it have told you so would have soaked in by now, and you'd have realized that maybe you had a lot to learn. Unfortunately you're so badly informed about BDSM that you've crossed over from mere ignorance into righteous ignorance - that sad state of mind in which a person knows so little that he can't even see what he needs to learn, and winds up confusing misinformation with actual knowledge.

we just dont need BDSM to undermine and totally replace tickling. 'No sir.'

Where the heck do you come up with this stuff? The fact is that some people do mix BDSM and tickling. You can say "it doesn't work that way" til you're blue in the face, and that fact isn't going to change. But neither does that fact mean that tickling is being "replaced" by BDSM. Those who like both will continue to ignore your protests, and those who like one or the other will continue to pursue their own separate interests.

Calm down. Your fetish is not in danger here.

finally redmage. congrats you showed me some cheesy quality tickling vid with some fetish company name on it. good for you. and why did it had to have a fetish company name on it?? oh you paid someone to do it. i see. it figures.

Don't you ever get tired of putting your foot in your mouth? "Some fetish company" in this case is Paradise Vision. If you had any clue about what's what in in tickling you'd have recognized that name as one of the larger producers of tickling erotica. If you had any idea how that industry worked you'd know that producers don't allow customers to just drop down cash and come tickle their models. And if you had ever considered that you might have something to learn here you might have checked the past messages on the Forum and found this thread where the owner of Paradise Vision discusses the video.

What really happened was Renee decided that she liked my rope work, and flew me down to San Diego at her own expense to shoot two videos for her company. Your fantasy that I don't do this in real life has been refuted by videotape and the testimony of at least two witnesses. And now you make up more nonsense about how the video came about and you're demonstrably wrong - again.

Aren't you starting to notice a pattern here, guy? How many times are you going to have to have one of your sweeping declarations of ignorance shot down in flames before you start to think that just maybe you actually don't know what you're talking about? Recognizing that you need to learn something isn't a moral failure, you know. Being unable to recognize that is.

granted i give you that you may have tickled lindy before and wrote a tale about it.

Go back and read it again: I didn't write it. Lindyhopper wrote that story in order to share something important to her that happened in a tickling session with me. One of several. She linked you to it because she could scarcely believe that you'd say something as flat-out foolish as you did.

i dont go around and be like 'look ma. im going to tickle some person.' NO. what dumbass would do that??...do you also go around and be like 'haha i tickled this person hoho' too??

Ah, now there's an interesting question. No, I don't go about describing my tickling sessions to all and sundry. But you see, that's because tickling is part of my sex life.

Supposedly, though, it isn't sexual for you.

I don't have any problem at all talking to people about my hobbies - the things I do just for fun. One of my hobbies is gardening, and I'm more than happy to tell my parents about what I'm growing, or give my friends a tour. I'm always willing to tell people what I like about gardening, explain how I got into it, and share stories about it with friends. But then I don't have a gardening fetish. If I did I'd treat it much more privately.

There's the mystery that you're still trying to avoid: You claim that tickling is a purely social activity for you. But you don't treat it like a social activity when it comes to talking about it. You avoid discussing it in exactly the same way someone would avoid discussing his sex life. If you're really unaware that you're doing that then maybe you ought to step back and re-evaluate a few things.

 

[drew70]

My own? Not particularly - I tend to only speak when I know what I'm talking about and have something substantive to say. But I've seen plenty around here, on this thread and others, that demonstrates exactly that: people who attack a concept without adequate understanding of it tend to just make themselves look foolish.

I agree. That would be just as foolish as equating disapproval with ignorance. Thank God neither of us fall into either of those categories.

I would've assumed that any (elderly 😉 ) man familiar with kinky sex (or any kind of sex, for that matter ) would've recognized the name of the best-selling vibrator of all time, particularly when Viper specifically described his partner cumming all over it. 😛

As bizarre as this might seem, many of us prefer sex using actual body parts, rather than implements of technology. Crazy, I know, but what can I say? We're rebels. 😉

Regardless, your injunction was the same: "Throw your high-powered sex toy in the trash, because your willingness to use it on a woman, even a woman who explicitly asked for it and enjoys it, makes you immoral."

Not really. Once I realized it was a vibrator and not a cattle prod, I admitted my mistake. I have no moral compunctions about somebody using such a device, merely a mild bemusement.

If you feel outnumbered in your viewpoint on this thread, while my viewpoint seems to enjoy widespread support... it might just be because your opinion doesn't make any damn sense.

I try not to use popularity as a measuring stick for validity. I can understand your preference to do so. I can see where it would be tedious for you to weigh the pros and cons of an opinion. Much easier to just go with the crowd.

Also note that I used this post, as well as my last one, to make a constructive contribution to the topic at hand. That's more than you could manage with yours.

My apologies. I'll have to look back. I confess I saw nothing constructive there. I'm sure that's an oversight on my part. 😉

"Character assassination" my ass. 🙄

Perhaps "character assasination" was a bit of an overstatement on my part, but you have to admit that to describe anybody as "coming from a place of ignorance" isn't exactly complimentary, and it is pretty much your only line of argument with regards to this issue. I couldn't help notice you use it against vsa7a as well. I'm sure if you put your mind to it, you can come up with something a little more substantial.

Yes, it has been a long time since we've talked, hasn't it? Let's not do it again. 😉 We've managed not to derail the thread so far, and I do want to respect the folks who are here to contribute and learn. I am a teacher, after all, just like you said. 🙂

An honorable profession to be sure, assuming one is qualified. But lets remember that the TMF is not a school. There are no classrooms with students and teachers. We're all peers and colleagues here. This is a discussion forum in which ideas are mutually exchanged. I'd hate to think that any of us would consider our ideas and experiences to be superior to the majority. That would be the height of arrogance and conceit.

BDSM is what it is. Tickling is what it is. There are instances in which the two worlds meet but for the most part they are seperate...and that is a good thing.

 

[Anna6-9]

Sure! Come on over, the belt, the rope, the vibrator and the fingertips are waiting. 😛

Mmmmmmm I'm all tingly! Don't know where your located but I'm definitely tempted!

 

[Strider]

I'd hate to think that any of us would consider our ideas and experiences to be superior to the majority.

All due respect Drew, but why not? I mean, I suppose its arrogant to find your views superior to those of others on any given subject just by virtue of them being your views, but certainly some people have better informed ideas on some subjects than others. I'm one of the regulars in P&R, and while I don't consider my views superior to anyone elses, I also don't have a problem saying that when it comes to a specific field of political science(namely, international relations), that I'm probably better informed than most people in there, for the simple reason that I formally study it and intend to work in the field in some capacity(and on top of that, I spent three years before going to college doing nothing but educating myself on the subject). By the same token, I'm not going to walk into an OR where brain surgery's being performed and offer my opinion to the surgeon on what they should be doing.

Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but some opinions are indeed more valid than others.

 

[BorisandNatasha]

Lighthearted playful tickling is just that.
Take the tickling to the extreme whereas the tickler is in total control and the ticklee is at the absolute mercy of the tickler, then you have the crossover of tickling with BDSM.

Boris

 

[lk70]

I hardly think I have anything substantive to add to all this, but just to add another voice to the chorus....

Drew, (oh how I hate doing this AGAIN), you believe that a man who spanks (or whatever) a woman even if she asks for it is being disrespectful. You believe that a woman who enjoys those things has a mental illness. I believe that you are in fact the person who is disrespectful and while you're certainly entitled to disapprove of any activity you want to, your habit of insulting other people for their interests makes me lose all respect for you. And that makes me sad, because we see eye to eye in so many other ways. Why can't you learn some tolerance, man?

Re BDSM - For me and I think maybe for many, it's less about the giving and receiving of pain, but more about the power exchange, the feeling of giving over to someone. So whether the bottom is giving over by losing herself in ticklish delirium, or in the sting of a flogger, or by sitting silently with her eyes down for hours at a time, it's BDSM. Though why we feel the need to label people's bedroom play, I don't know.

Hey Bella - YEAH! Why do some men think that just by saying they're a DOM they get submission? Where are all the ones who deserve it for real?

Are all cases of tickling BDSM related? Who cares? Don't people get to define their groove on their own without someone else labeling it?

Humph.

 

[drew70]

All due respect Drew, but why not? I mean, I suppose its arrogant to find your views superior to those of others on any given subject just by virtue of them being your views, but certainly some people have better informed ideas on some subjects than others. I'm one of the regulars in P&R, and while I don't consider my views superior to anyone elses, I also don't have a problem saying that when it comes to a specific field of political science(namely, international relations), that I'm probably better informed than most people in there, for the simple reason that I formally study it and intend to work in the field in some capacity(and on top of that, I spent three years before going to college doing nothing but educating myself on the subject). By the same token, I'm not going to walk into an OR where brain surgery's being performed and offer my opinion to the surgeon on what they should be doing.

Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but some opinions are indeed more valid than others.

There are opinions and there are facts. If I say the color blue is the prettiest color, but you feel that green is prettier, no amount of study or experience is going make either of us more or less right than the other. It's strictly a matter of opinion. Politics is different because there is an enormous amount of facts both current and historical that come into play. For what it's worth, while I was participating in the P&R discussions, I gave more credence to your posts then anybody else's because it was clear to me from your writings that you were more informed than the rest.

But as for what's right and wrong, good and bad, well that's more like the blue vs green thing. It's something everybody has to decide for themselves.

Drew, (oh how I hate doing this AGAIN), you believe that a man who spanks (or whatever) a woman even if she asks for it is being disrespectful.

No. Spanking is pretty harmless and more like parental role playing. Brutalizing a woman with a cattle prod and a buck knife is disrespectful. Punching a woman in the kidneys is disrepectful. Burning a woman with a cigar is disrespectful.

You believe that a woman who enjoys those things has a mental illness.

If anybody, be they man or woman, embraces an activity simply for it's destructive elements, pain and injury, I think it's safe to say that such people are not rowing with both oars in the water.

I believe that you are in fact the person who is disrespectful and while you're certainly entitled to disapprove of any activity you want to, your habit of insulting other people for their interests makes me lose all respect for you. And that makes me sad, because we see eye to eye in so many other ways. Why can't you learn some tolerance, man?

Lynn, we all have our tolerances. Some people think it's okay to have sex with children and animals. Most of us would disagree, and by doing so, exhibit the same intolerance you find so distasteful. Sure, we rationalize our intolerance, by saying those things aren't "consensual" as if somehow consensuality is the magic umbrella under which any activity is automatically okay. But rationalized intolerance is still intolerance.

Imagine your best friend confides in you that she is having a sexual relationship with her brother. Both consenting adults. Would that disturb you in any way whatsoever? If so, you're showing intolerance. Bear in mind, I'm not comparing BDSM to incest, pedophilia, or beastiality. I'm merely demonstrating that you are likely as guilty of the same type of intolerance for which you condemn me. We all have our own code of ethics that define our personal boundaries of acceptability. Don't hate me simply because mine are layed out slightly differently than yours.

I've met and partied with many BDSM enthusiests. I don't think I'm better than anybody else. I've got plenty of faults of my own to worry about. But since a discussion of tickling and BDSM is taking place, I don't think it's out of line for me to share how I feel.

Though why we feel the need to label people's bedroom play, I don't know.

Well, if a discussion is to take place, it helps to have a term for what it is we're discussing.

Are all cases of tickling BDSM related? Who cares? Don't people get to define their groove on their own without someone else labeling it?

I'm going to enjoy my groove regardless of whatever labels anybody sees fit to offer. I don't see a problem with it.