Tickling Mid-fetish Crisis?

[Sunriseticklee]

Giggle...
It really isn't all that serious. I was just wondering if anyone's views of tickling have changed. You know, changed at all throughout the years of your being a ticklephile.

The thread on boyfriends seeing their girlfriends being tickled got me kind of thinking. Well... I'd already been thinking about it anyway, but to avoid being branded as an evil thread hijacker, I decided to share my thoughts on a different thread.

In the past, if I saw some girl tickling my "man", I couldn't have cared less. Tickling to me, for the most part, was fun. Period. I felt I was fully capable of separating sexuality/sensuality and tickling in all cases. Hell, I was fully capable of separating sex from just about everything. And at gatherings, one-on-one play, and such, it didn't bother me. I never worried that I was going to get "too hot". I never worried that things would get so erotic that I couldn't help myself. And honestly I didn't quite understand why some of my boyfriends got a little bit irritated when another guy tickled me. And well, when a girl tickled my boyfriend, hell.... I just jumped in and tickled him too. LOL It didn't really seem all that serious. It didn't mean the same thing. It didn't even feel the same. Like I said, I was good a separating the two.

Honestly, I never really knew what it felt like to be totally caught up in the moment. You know, oblivious to everything except the feeling of his torturous and tickling touch. I never knew how it felt to want so badly for things to go way beyond the stroke of his fingers on every inch of my body. I was always very much under control. Even when I seemed to be losing it, I wasn't, really. I never crossed the line; not physically and not even mentally. I prided myself in knowing exactly what type of "game" I was playing.

So all this talk about fellow ticklephiles saying that they just couldn't tickle someone else without it being sexual, well... I couldn't relate, and I felt that it sounded foolish (to be honest). The thought of my boyfriend freaking out just because someone else tickled me.... Well, I thought it was kind of stupid and obsessive.

I pictured days in my future where my hubby and I would meet other couples, have loads of innocent fun, and go happily home. No worries. Easy as pie. After all, wasn't that how things were when I was single?

Oh but now things are changing. My feelings are changing, my reactions are changing. Even some of my spots are changing on me. LOL And it's all wonderful and confusing at the same time.

The girl who swore she was completely in control at all times under all situations, isn't so much in control anymore, and well, damn.... I have realized that I love this new feeling even though I can't quite understand it.

And in coming out of my denial, I suddenly find myself in a state of arousal with just a simple passing thought. How can someone get to you without even touching you? All they have to do is have that look in their eyes, and you shiver. You can't help but blush and get all feverish. Damn, I shiver and I'm 333 miles away. How does that happen?

And how is it that all of a sudden, each and every fantasy you have ever had... and I mean ever, you find yourself only wanting that one person to fulfill them. Only that person. Suddenly only being with him is enough. Just him. And you think, "Screw playing with everyone else! Yeah yeah, it was fun and all, but the feeling doesn't even come close to this."

And all those little ticklish spots that made you just want to laugh like hell in the past when your friends did it, they've changed on you drastically too!

When he does it, you don't know whether to laugh, or scream, or moan, or shiver, or try to get away; so you do all of it at once. And you find yourself screaming "uncle" before he even gets a chance to touch you because you know he is going to just destroy you! You have no chance, no hope, damn it! Mmmm... and it's just the way you like it.

Hell, if someone ever made you feel like that, would you want someone else prodding at you? What a disappointment that would turn out to be.

So finally, people, it hit me. How could I have ever honestly denied the sensual side of tickling? How can I look at someone and say all innocently (like I told my mother when she first found out about my "fetish") "It's just tickling."

It isn't just tickling to me anymore. Well, not in this case. Not when one mere touch sets my very soul on fire. Not when it makes me want to do things that... sigh!

Hmmmm... I don't know what to make of it.

And now, all of those thoughts of meeting with other couples and having a grand old time just playing innocently.... HA! That's down the drain. I think. I'm not really sure.

And I've decided that this uncontrollable feeling, I want to keep it all to myself. I kind of don't want to share it right now. I don't want to play with anyone else. Not now. Not when things are so new and amazing and fun and just... WOW! I'm kind of hooked. And well on the flip side, I wouldn't really be comfortable with him running around traveling and "poking it up" (giggle) with everyone else, either.

Weird? Probably. I sure feel strange. Ok, I'm only 26, but I still feel like I going through a tickling "mid-fetish" crisis. LOL. Especially when all of my feelings about something I have loved since near birth are changing on me, and I just can't keep up with them.

Tell me, have you ever gone through it? Redefining your love for tickling? Or just gone through anything that I'm trying to describe? What was the outcome? How did your love for tickling change?

Let me know I'm not crazy. (ok... well, if I'm not crazier than before.)

Sunrise

 

[nerobob]

Well, I used to be strictly a Ler, and I used to hate F/M tickling, wheter stories, real life, whatever. But now I prefer being on the tickled side of things, and am a big fan of F/M stories.

 

[WraithTickler]

Well Sunrise, I know what you mean, but I can't exactly relate to it either. I suppose one way of looking at it is a kind of fetish maturity- settling down so to speak. You've found someone you can share yourself with in your entirety and that probably includes tickling. It's probably not as unnatural as you think it is.

For my own part, I came to the TMF in September, having broken up with my last gf and decided to "go for it" and give the place a try, being a closet fetishist. Since then, I've grown more into tickling, but I've also grown and had a new relationship with a girl as well and there's the sense of a kind of balancing act. Obviously my girlfriend takes priority, but there's still that love of tickling/being tickled which is becoming more and more personalized against a generalized sense (especially since she decided it might be a fun idea to order handcuffs for other reasons). I'd ideally hope for a more intimate kind of relationship that would involve tickling with her than a more generalized one with people at gatherings and such (which I've never been to), but that is my own take on a changing tickling relationship.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Hmmmmm

Thank you both for replying. I hope others will share their thoughts on this as well. I have to agree with you Wraith, and I'm sure many others do as well. The relationship itself does take priority, and is so much more important and precious.

Well Sunrise, I know what you mean, but I can't exactly relate to it either. I suppose one way of looking at it is a kind of fetish maturity- settling down so to speak. You've found someone you can share yourself with in your entirety and that probably includes tickling. It's probably not as unnatural as you think it is.

I have to disagree with just that one little fetish maturity part. I don't feel as if my prior beliefs or feelings about keeping tickling separate from my sensuality were immature, or made me less of a tickling enthusiast, or made me this soft core weak ticklephile, as some have said in posts/threads past.

And in the past as well, I was the first person to correct someone when they said I had a fetish. Definitively the word just didn't match my actions or feelings. Do I feel like it's a fetish now? I really do not know how to define it. Things just aren't as clear cut as they were before. That's why I'm going through this whole tickling fetish crisis. Giggle.

But like you were saying in the rest of the quote, the ability to be able to share myself completely, and even with all of my imperfections and inequities, this person still desires to be a part of my life... that has much to do with it as well. So much. I actually believe it has more to do with the person even more so than the tickling. Although he served as a major catalyst in changing the way I react to it and view it. LOL He's changed the way I react to even the simplest of things. Sigh.... I just can't really explain it.

You know, I used to be so annoyed when people (men and women) assumed tickling was purely sexual to me just because it was to them, and they felt that everyone is alike. But we aren't all alike even in our views of tickling. And I don't feel like there are secret higher levels and tickling methods that make someone the hallelujah, Allie Baba, tickle master of all with everyone else milling around below trying to reach the ultimate tickling nirvana. I don't want to say, "I'VE ARRIVED" because that would seem like I'm saying to all the people who don't feel the way I feel that they aren't participating enough, or that they are missing out, or that they are partaking in this watered down bootleg version of tickling.

Looking back on my childhood and what I've experienced before my feelings starting playing the switcharoo on me, I loved most of what I experienced back then (tickle wise). I wouldn't want to change the past, but I don't think it can compare to what I am experiencing at the present.

Do you know what I'm saying or do I sound even more confused. I don't mean to sound confused. I'm just saying that even though my views have changed, I don't think I was wrong or less mature in feeling the way I felt in the past.

Best of luck in your new relationship Wraith.

Anyway, besides the three of us, has anyone else gone through some changes with your love for tickling?

Sunny

 

[curious ticklee]

the ability to be able to share myself completely, and even with all of my imperfections and inequities, this person still desires to be a part of my life... that has much to do with it as well. So much. I actually believe it has more to do with the person even more so than the tickling. Although he served as a major catalyst in changing the way I react to it and view it. LOL He's changed the way I react to even the simplest of things. Sigh....

Sunrise, the confusion you're feeling, along with all the shivers and sighs, it sounds like you're in love. And there's nothing in the world like it to make you rethink everything you thought you had clearly defined and figured out in life. I can certainly relate!

I can also relate to changes in feelings about tickling, though from a different side of it. I've always been extremely ticklish, but never pursued it for the enjoyment of it... I just saw it as a physiological phenomenon. That was until I met my fiance, a tickling fetishist. Until I experienced being tickled by him, I had never been aware of the extraordinarily sensual side of tickling. Can you imagine my surprise when just the exquisiteness of his hands on my feet made me come? Now just thinking about him tickling me sends tingles and rushes of heat through my body. I never thought I'd find myself wanting to be tickled, let alone asking for it, yet now that this whole new world of sensation and emotional experience has been revealed to me, I absolutely long for it. And what occurs between us is so sacred, I would never want to share it with anyone else.

Love reveals all kinds of new sensations, perspectives and thought processes, which can also make one's world turn upside down. I don't think you're having a tickling crisis. I think you've found your mirror in this person, someone who can provide a clear reflection of who you are, in ways that you yourself would not otherwise be able to see. So if tickling's not "just tickling" anymore, look at it like you've just rolled up the windowshade to find a beautiful new world outside, and just bask in the warmth and wonder of it all!

 

[mgctouch]

Sunrise, When I discuss tickling to the 'tickle virgins', I generally explain to them that tickling is an evolution. Some things change quickly and some things change slowly.

The more you chat with people, the more stories you read, the more receptive you are to trying new toys, new styles and new techniques.

As for finding the sexual aspect of it, for many years tickling was platonic for me. I ignored my erections and sexual feelings - I buried them. Down the road I saw pictures, spoke to fellow ticklefiles and eventually had the opoprtunity to try it in a playful erotic manner which was a wonderful extended foreplay. Now I prefer the playful, erotic, sensual tickling although I am still fully capable of engaging in platonic tickling as well.

I hope that this helped.

 

[tommytikl]

I have to agree with curious ticklee, it sounds like you are in love with said guy and that is why the tickling is different now.
You are REALLY connected to this guy, with other boyfriends you may not have fully "connected" with them for whatever reason.
So when THIS guy tickles you, buys you flowers, takes out the garbage it means soo much more to YOU!!!
YOU have now linked the love of tickling with your love of this man!
That is a powerful combination!!
That is why your feelings have changed is simply because your viewpoint has changed.
It was just fun, because you WERE just having fun with the tickling, you COULD seperate the two in your mind, because tickling and your love for the other person were not LINKED...
Now they ARE linked and the feelings are different!

Just my 2 cents.

 

[starfires]

Re: Hmmmmm

Sunrise,
I haven't experienced a shift like that, but I can say with certainty that it's normal. Which is not to say that eventually it happens to everybody. Specifically, the desire to keep certain activities between you and your partner is quite common, but which activites (if any) depends on the person and their stage in life.

Originally posted by WraithTickler
I suppose one way of looking at it is a kind of fetish maturity- settling down so to speak. You've found someone you can share yourself with in your entirety and that probably includes tickling. It's probably not as unnatural as you think it is.

Originally posted by Sunriseticklee
I have to disagree with just that one little fetish maturity part. I don't feel as if my prior beliefs or feelings about keeping tickling separate from my sensuality were immature, or made me less of a tickling enthusiast, or made me this soft core weak ticklephile, as some have said in posts/threads past.

"more mature" does not always mean "more correct" or "more advanced". It means "occurs later in life". I am not WraithTickler and so won't speak for him, but it seems to me that your situation has changed, and your responses and needs have changed accordingly. This does not invalidate any of your past experience, especially since it has led you to where you are now.

You know, I used to be so annoyed when people (men and women) assumed tickling was purely sexual to me just because it was to them, and they felt that everyone is alike. But we aren't all alike even in our views of tickling.

Don't you just love it how so many people assume that deep down we're all the same? Even after reading testimonials that clearly contradict their experience -- they'd much sooner accuse the author of lying, than to doubt their worldview.

 

[Mimi]

I can relate 100%, Sunrise. Going through the same exact phenomenon myself right now. Have been for the past year.

I've always loved tickling, from childhood on. Back then it was just 'fun' and 'playful'. When I became an adult, I realized it could also be sexual, and if done by someone I was intimate with, it was quite erotic and arousing.

But I never fully knew just how good it could be until I met Lazarus. Oh sure, tickling was a blast at gatherings, and it was great foreplay with my ex-husband, who although not a ticklephile himself, had no problems humoring me and my fetish. But when I met, played with, became intimate with, and eventually fell in love with Lazzy, a fellow tickle fetishist, WOW! Talk about a whole new world of sensations and emotions! Never before has it been so deep, so intense, so empowering, and so fullfilling. Words can not even begin to express the difference in the world of tickling I once knew, and the world of tickling I now know and live daily. Though I give you credit, you came pretty damn close to summing it up verbally. 🙂

I was never a jealous type before either, but I find myself changing a bit in that area as well. I never cared with my ex if he tickled others or vice versa. It was 'only tickling'. But now, I don't want to share what I've experienced with anyone else..lol. Selfish of me, I know. But I want to hang onto it, and him, with all my might for all of eternity.

So don't fear, Sun. You're not going crazy, nor are you entering a mid-fetish crisis cycle. You've merely been blessed with the opportunity to mix your love of tickling with the love of your life, and been transplanted to a world of perfect tickling bliss and emotional and sensory fullfillment. It's an experience I truly wish all ticklephiles could experience.

Mimi 🙂

 

[dvnc]

Great post title!

Old guy perspective for ya. It's different for everyone. Some folks can do the "casual play" all their lives. Some folks secretly hide their arousal from all, including their partner, in public play. Some folks NEVER dig the concept of playing at gatherings (I've had several scalding commentaries privately mailed, back then).

I think it's personal. It's what's working for the two most important people in a couple - you and your lover. If that's what works for you, it sure better be what works for him, and you folks should respect one another. Since you seem to do so, good on ya!

For folks that don't want to play, gatherings become a social scene. Several circles of people, here, are purely social, and many more will socialize separately from the gatherings they attend together.

Those of us that are married are just as diverse. Some will play with others openly, some don't wanna, and some will betray their partners' trusts.

Good on you for recognizing what you have as valuable and unique.

Good on you, too, for saying so. Too few do!

If and when you grow further still, and find that, for you two, it's become okay to play publically, knowing who you truly love endlessly, then good on you for that, too.

It's all about the love, after all. If you look out for that, the rest becomes detail.

For me, I've been lucky enough to not experience personal discomfort of any sort, where such is concerned. I don't get jealous, either. I've extreme faith in my lover. Always have. It's even stronger, now.

Marrying one of us, though, means I approach play, elsewhere, the way a well-fed man approaches other meals. I appreciate that such exist, and admire where it's gourmet, and need none beyond what I hold to heart.

I always was a goofy romantic, though.

dvnc

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Happy Sighs....

Thanks guys for sharing your point of view. Although I don't think I can even come close to describing this new "high"/love that I'm feeling, it's great to know that some of you can relate.

So maybe I'm not crazy. Giggle (one can only dream... heehee)

I never thought something this amazing could ever happen to me, or that I would have to eat the words of prior posts and have to admit that my world of tickling could have gotten any better than I thought it was already. LOL

I just love this and I hope it will never end. (I know it won't.)

Sunny


P.S. Feel free to continue sharing if you like.