To mean Moms (and Dads) everywhere...

[venray]

To My Kids - I Loved You Enough -

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

**** I loved you enough ... to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

**** I loved you enough ... to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

**** I loved you enough ... to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

**** I loved you enough ... to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

**** I loved you enough ... to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken
15 minutes.

**** I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment and! tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

**** I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

**** But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.............

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.

I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds.

Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms.

 

[Neutron]

Damn... That's The Best

Ode and guide to parenting that I've ever seen.

Tron

 

[venray]

My lady friend and former employee who now resides in Florida sends me many things through email....this one I had to share....😀

She is one of several "vanilla" friends who knows all about my "other side" and all about the TMF.


Ray

 

[JPie1]

hail hail to mean moms everywhere!! Believe it or not I have already had to start using this logic on my 5 year old!!

 

[giantfan121262]

I remember my high school graduation. My mother wouldn't let me go to the shore with my friends, and I kept trying to convince her that it was a once in a lifetime experience. All she said was that she didn't want me around the booze and drugs that were going to be there (and she was right, there was going to be). We had the hugest fight and I didn't talk to her for a week.

After my graduation, I got toghether with another circle of friends I had and we had a good time. There was partying yes but at least it was going on in the house.

Getting back to the shore story, I discovered later on that she probably did me a favor bcause there was alot of rent a cops just busting people for looking at them the wrong way. It saved me alot of anxiety and aggrevation

I guess you can say my mom was a "mean" mom, but it made me what I am today. I think I turned out all right.

Now that I am a parent, I see everything that they had to go through and it's only the beginning. My kids are 5 and 16 months. Every "mean" thing that I do is bcause I want my kids to know right from wrong.

 

[giantfan121262]

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

[/B]

My daughter isn't dating till she is 18 and even then her dad is going to be a chapparone on the date (with a shotgun in hand)

 

[Strelnikov]

"Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter"

Some thoughtful information for those who are daughters, were daughters, have daughters, intend to have daughters, or intend to date a daughter.

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like change the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway, for the sound of a black U. N helicopter from the New World Order. The voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Strelnikov

 

[venray]

[BThese are useless endeavors that often result in arrest...and that many don't realize this indicates that FUTILITY is a lesson not taught by society at large. Teenagers shouldn't avoid stealing or vandalizing because it's wrong, but ratehr because the acts themselves are meaningless and escape from the authorities is futile...they will lose every time.

Children are not just children, but people as well; they have their own beliefs, opinions and personalities and they should not be molded as one sees fit but rather guided to find their own way with the aid of information and training to keep them alive long enough to learn. [/B]

Ah so therefor it follows that they should not be taught that murder or rape is wrong and we should let them experience the futility of those actions and get caught and go to prison, rather than to teach by word and example the right way to act.....maybe your kids, but certainly not mine.😉

 

[Amnesiac]

Ah so therefor it follows that they should not be taught that murder or rape is wrong and we should let them experience the futility of those actions and get caught and go to prison, rather than to teach by word and example the right way to act.....maybe your kids, but certainly not mine.
-Venray

Nonononononono silly goose. More like teaching them that the game is not worth the candle. The police are not easily lied to, the perfect murder does not exist, and that most ideas that sound good at the time usually suck afterwards. As for rape, relativity usually works: you wouldn't want to be raped yourself, so placing a conundrum based on that supposition should generate sufficient empathy. All you have to do is provide the proper contxts so they can avoid legal and emotional problems. There's ALWAYS a reason to kill somebody...just not always good ones.

Does this take the joy out of life? Yes. Does it make everything seem dull, predictable and fruitless? Yes. But when you think about it, if life was really worth writing home about, the news would be hard-pressed to find bad things to report about. The best you can hope to do is make sure your kids are smart enough to avoid prison, veneral disease and poverty...anything else is really up to chance and luck, not parents.

And even if it was, the real question might be if parents SHOULD intervene with luck and chance.

 

[tommytikl]

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

That is AWESOME!!!

Oh and I am printing out the initial reason for this thread!!!

 

[TicklishSinner]

I LOVED that

Im going to print it off and when my child gets old enough Im going to read it to them

 

[P50]

Re: "Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter"

Strelnikov wrote...

<I> Rule Eight: .... Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. ... </I>


Hmmmm,,,,

Young man #1 says ...

"We're going to see Romeo And Juliet. We have to contrast the movie version with the originally written version for a paper anyway."


Young man #2 says ...

"We're going to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre"


So, according to your Rule Eight, the second boy goes out with your girl and the first one doesn't ?

 

[Strelnikov]

To amnesiac: You sound like som eone who has no children, or at least no teen children. Yes, my job description as a parent requires me to train them in the ways of the world, then let them go when they're ready. Included in that job description is the responsibility to say NO, sometimes HELL NO, when they're about to do something stupid.

To sincerity: Yes, I'm a Republican - guilty as charged. But it's a Dad thing. I have a close friend who is an ACLU-card-carrying liberal Democrat. He believes in gun control, so he would never have threatened his daughter's dates with a shotgun. He would have used a chain saw.

To P50: The whole list is tongue in cheek, but there's still more than a little truth there. Take your example. Romeo and Juliet were 14 yrs old. Therefore, by definition, they had shit for brains. Want proof? Look at how the story ended. That's one of the things parents fear when their child falls in with unsuitable companions. You have to separate them, but what if they do something stupid anyway? OTOH, not many kids are going to buy a hockey mask and a Stihl and emulate the other movie.

Strelnikov

 

[crydun]

Great post Ray! You just described my mother! and the kind of mother I hope to be.

and I agree with its writer. We do need more parents like that. The world would be a better place to live if there were.

 

[JoBelle]

I'm lovin' this. I also have limited commentary on it.

Unfortunately, some people with little to no experience or education in the matter have the biggest opinions on how to bring up the next generation. 🙄 They also seem to forget that emotion fits into the bringing up of a child. That's going to shade things, as well it should.

Strel, hey boss. 🙂
My brother is about as liberal as man can be. We've nearly gone to "fist-city" over idealogical difference over the years! LOL HOWEVER...he's also the father of a 15 year old girl and a 13 year old boy. He agreed with everything you said. 😛

Jo

 

[tommytikl]

To P50: The whole list is tongue in cheek, but there's still more than a little truth there. Take your example. Romeo and Juliet were 14 yrs old. Therefore, by definition, they had shit for brains. Want proof? Look at how the story ended. T

Strelnikov

One tiny thing I will mention here is that in Shakespears time(ticklee at heart) marring at 14 was not unheard of...However I get your point...

And to Strelnikov, if my child had pointed that out in the beginning then yes oh and I probably would have gone with them to EITHER movie anyway.